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Expat Advice: Relationships in Palembang, Indonesia

What is the name of the city or town that you are reporting on?

Palembang

What is your current status? Are you single, dating, in a long-term relationship, married or divorced?

Currently in a long-term relationship.

What is it like in your country of residence for someone with your relationship status (married/divorced/dating)? If you're single, how do you meet other people? Do English-speaking people tend to gravitate to certain parts of your city?

It's good and it's bad. Being foreign, and especially being tall, muscular and white, the attention just comes—I don't ask for it. A lot of stares and questions are the norm. I couldn't tell you the number of times, "Are you married/have kids/etc." has come up in conversation.

Indonesian women—and Indonesians in general—worship Western culture and in turn will worship you for that reason alone. There are a lot of misconceptions about foreigners such as what we are like, our habits and hobbies, preferences and the like. Most of the knowledge comes from films and not direct experience.

If you're single, you won't have any trouble meeting anyone—you'll attract plenty of attention. My experience has been that a lot of it isn't genuine, but if you meet a sincere woman from here, you're life will be complete.

Not really. I rarely meet up with expats of any country. There aren't that many to begin with and the ones that are here seem to spend their time on their own. Oh well.

If you do not have children, do you generally spend your social time with other expat couples? If not, what else do you like to do as a couple?

Not couples, but sometimes with other expats. Most of my friends are Indonesians and while some of them can speak passable English, most cannot. Likewise, almost all of my expat friends cannot speak passable Indonesian, so it makes spending time together rather difficult. It gets old translating everything.

Karaoke is the past-time as is finding food, throwing parties, hanging out at other friends' houses, etc. Life here is what you make it.

If you are married or in a relationship with a person of another nationality, how has this experience enriched you as a person. What kind of challenges do you face?

It's made me much more open, understanding, willing to listen, make decisions, think things through before acting and overall just a better, more caring person. There have been a lot of hurdles and difficulties, but I wouldn't change it for anything.

What would be the best advice you could give someone with your relationship status that lives in your country of residence? Any other thoughts?

Learn the damn language, get on with your partners' friends and family, adapt culturally and just enjoy yourself.

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