BideshiBou
12/6/2008 23:00 EST
Many women here find jobs, at embassies, NGOs, local universities, local international schools, ICDDR,B , etc. It all depends on your skill set. Trained people are a real asset here (not like in America where right now the fast food workers have college degrees!).
I would recommend getting in contact with the women's club. They have an amazing spectrum of women from all segments of society and can help a lot.
One thing I would recommend: try NOT to live with your in-laws. Many women do, and it can make trouble because Bangladeshi society is way more nosy and intrusive than American. I do, but I am lucky because they stay out of my business and I live in my own flat within one building. But some women have gotten into situations where they are stuck in one room of their parents-in-law's apartment, and that's not good for independence. A lot depends on your in-laws. Your husband should be briefed to be protective of you at all times from his own family. In even a well-meaning way, they can constrain and smoother you. I would also recommend setting your boundaries early and sticking by them, even if you think they won't like you. Believe me, they will accept it eventually and respect it. But if you try to be nicey-nice, then they'll be barging into your bedroom at all hours and all whatnot. (You can tell I am speaking from experience).
Another thing to think about is that while everyone knows YOU are a foreigner and will treat you with kid gloves; no one will realize that your HUSBAND is also a foreigner! They will expect him to fit back in immediately, and that will make the transition hard for him. (Again - experience). You two have to be a team in this, mutually protecting and supporting each other.
Few tips: 1) come here for a month, snoop around, get to know neighborhoods, family, other American women. Maybe even book an apartment so when you move back there is no need to stay with in-laws. 2) Live in one of the expat-friendly neighborhoods: the enclaves of Gulshan, Baridhara, and Banani, or Dhanmondi is nice as well. 3) When you move back, give yourselves 6 months to really get a lay of the land. Take Bangla courses to get really familiar with the language. 4) Join the DAWC and American Club (different organizations). They will give you and your husband a community and support network right away. 5) Be yourselves! (Best advice anyone gave me.)
This is a great country, very rewarding, especially as you get to know the people. But it can also be challenging and frustrating. It is similar to the west in many ways, but also different - in both obvious and surprising ways.
I'd rather not email since I don't know you and this is, after all, the internet. But like I said you can contact the womens group and they will be a big help.
Good luck!
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