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US to Bermuda- single 40yr Female-Social/Dating

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Globbetrotter
  5/5/2016 16:50 EST

I received an offer for role in Bermuda, strongly considering the move, but need to better understand the social & dating life for a single 40yr old blk American. Dating is tough everywhere, but hoping to increase my odds of dating in a place where the men outnumber the women and the pickings are international :-) Please advise

skater
  5/5/2016 20:26 EST

Dear Globetrotter:

Stay home.

I am a mid-life white female, super fit, model and actor in the States, so I am attractive, social, know how to dress, play well with others, etc. I am internationally traveled and have lived in many states. I spent six months in Bermuda and was never lonelier in my life. Not one, not one, date, with the exception of two Portuguese guys inviting me for a threesome.

Bermuda is very couple-y and family -oriented. There are a few bars but almost non-existent night life. the island shuts down on Sundays. There are organizations you can join such as the International Women's Club (aka the Rich Husband's Club) , but for the most part, I found it very difficult to meet people people, particularly men.

As for relocation costs, $5 K doesn't even begin to cover it. the cost of living is outrageous. a one bedroom averages $1500-$2000 for a tiny space. Look at the ads on EMoo Bermuda for a couple of weeks and then decide for yourself. food is very expensive: $8 for a pineapple, $10 for a cantaloupe, $15.00 for a quart of strawberries, $8 for a handful of almonds. $9 for the tiniest jar of Vicks Vapo-Rub.

Then you have to have enough money to get off the island.

Bermuda is beautiful - absolutely stunningly beautiful and the people are wonderful - warm, polite, helpful. but you have to have a ton of money to live there. I truly believe that Bermuda employers take advantage of ex-pats by not telling us the whole story.

Do your research, Globetrotter, and read other posts, and draw your own conclusions,

Best of luck!

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Globbetrotter
  5/5/2016 21:33 EST

Very insightful ! Only 6 months and you were out of there, ugh! I don't have time to waste on a place that won't yield a solid dating life. I've lived on an island for 6 months so I have some feeling of the expensive cost of living. What's attracting me is the opportunity to do more international work, live near water, and increase my odds of meeting a rich man. I'm well traveled as well, i do fear of being lonely on the island, but I'm going to put my all into picking up some new activities. Ultimately, I'm doing over my island experience.

I heard there are more men on island due to the financial services and reinsurance industry, is that not true? Plus, I heard the folks are really bright and intelligent.

bermywife
  5/6/2016 09:37 EST

Sorry to be a nay-sayer as well. Most of the senior executives come with their wives and families. There may be a higher % of males to females resident, but many, many other young women come to the island for holidays and many, many of the bachelors (and unfortunately, married men as well) gravitate to these weekend flings.

skater
  5/6/2016 19:59 EST

i concur with bermywife and would like to add that whenever there are events such a marathon or the America's Cup, there are a plethora of escorts imported from God Knows Where to keep the men company, which is confusing to me because island women are so beautiful. As I've stated preciously, I lived in Bermuda for six months, and I didn't get asked out once and I am a model. Go figure.

dtwanderer
  5/8/2016 18:10 EST

i will have to agree with everyone else on this thread. even from a man's perspective, the dating scene is Bermuda is quite dull and non-existent. Most people come here as couples of families it seems and things are extremely clique-y and gossip-y so if this is something important to you I would advise you to look elsewhere sadly.

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skater
  5/8/2016 21:31 EST

Hi DT It's Kelley thanks for the honesty!

Hang in K

emmbee
  5/9/2016 16:41 EST

Good news: Bermuda is 60/40 white/black. You are smart and clearly have a good job. There are lots of locals in Reinsurance and Banking -- not just people who come here with families. I think you would do fine. When you get here, join a church or charity group. You will likely meet quality people if you go to quality places (ie not bars). Good luck!

Globbetrotter
  5/9/2016 17:21 EST

Thank you for offering up your thoughts and insights.

Globbetrotter
  5/9/2016 17:28 EST

Thank you for your insight. I was curious to learn the racial demographic wasn't sure if that had anything to do with the dating misstep. I am open to dating all races. I have friends who live in NYC and struggle at 40plus finding quality dates that materialize into something more serious. I also have single female friends in Dallas, who are lonely with no one to date. You tend to see lots of "girl groups" because so view men are available- all are married. As I stated, dating is just tough at 40 no matter where you live. I am just looking for a different experience all together. I like the suggestion of the church or charity group, unfortunately at the moment I don't do neither of them. I will be looking to take on some new hobbies/interests.

Philparkin
  5/9/2016 17:53 EST

Quoting white/black ratios stinks of racism.

Your implication that people who frequent bars are of low quality also leaves a bad taste in the mouth. Some are, some aren't, same as in all walks of life.

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Philparkin
  5/9/2016 17:53 EST

Quoting white/black ratios stinks of racism.

Your implication that people who frequent bars are of low quality also leaves a bad taste in the mouth. Some are, some aren't, same as in all walks of life.

Philparkin
  5/9/2016 17:53 EST

Quoting white/black ratios stinks of racism.

Your implication that people who frequent bars are of low quality also leaves a bad taste in the mouth. Some are, some aren't, same as in all walks of life.

skater
  5/9/2016 19:58 EST

Here is the demographic profile of Bermuda:

http://www.indexmundi.com/bermuda/demographics_profile.html

PercyP
  10/9/2016 12:53 EST

I am in my late 30's and moved here with my husband. I have female friends who have moved here and met their husbands on island,

I think that Bermuda has the same problems as most other places for a woman in her late 30's / early 40's. The ex pat men on island in that age range are the players and the ones who have avoided settling down. There are men here who fall outside that bracket but they are few and far between.
Friends of mine use tinder and other dating websites and say you have to be careful but there are decent men out there. Just the majority of them are commitment phobic or married.

scottoy
  11/13/2016 17:51 EST

stay home, I'm a Black man from the UK here to manage to company on the island. only after a few weeks regret leave the UK. dating is not easy. find a boyfriend drag him with you!! ive spoke to some women already here all say the same, it's not easy

scottoy
  11/13/2016 18:00 EST

everything you said is true, befoer I came here six weeks you applied to me. telling me what is like. I always say to try before you buy.wow I'm a single black male no baggage, dating here is not going to be easy. rather of gone back to germany. the price you pay for things is a joke. Getting ripped off is all you will expect. Yes employers dont tell you the truth forget to mention a few things. tryinf to find a apartment without being ripped off not easy because of the americas cup landlords jack up the price. forgetting when the have gone the prices will fall. 30 years driving a round the world and being forced to use a scooter.until you pass your test make know sense. if you have never been on a scooter, it's not right to be forced I had to because of the company needed me to get round the island. My impressions stay away from here at all cost. find love elsewhere and not to be ripped off

skater239
  11/14/2016 18:28 EST

Dear Scottoy:

I try to tell everyone that the dating scene in Bermuda is abysmal at best: almost everyone is married, and except for patronizing the bars on front street, there is very little to do. I am an older white femalem however, an actor and model, and have appeared on U.S. network television. In other words, I am not ugly or shy. I didn't get one date. Everything is incredibly expensive, and yes, the employers lie . After six months, I was so broke, hungry, and lonely, that I returned to the States. Stay home , stay home, stay home.

XBDA
  9/28/2017 10:50 EST

This actually brings up an important point: that Bermuda has an unhealthy racial dynamic. You might not notice it at first, but as you start getting more familiar with the island's social scene you will notice a very strong tendency for the locals to self-segregate. It makes the pool of people who you get a chance to interact with even smaller than it otherwise would be on an island of only 60,000 people.

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