sperit
8/26/2016 15:17 EST
Hi I met a Brazilian woman on a date site. She came to the N.Y. and then took a 2 days to spend with me, in Chicago...
We had a great time together.
After she returned home she told me that it was impossible for her to come to the U.S. She said that she talked with a man she met earlier on line and they were only friends. He told her that is was very difficult. I real could not understand what she was saying to me it made no sense to me. She said that Americans don't want to take the financial responsibility, Something about no family here in US. All I can make of this is this guy from some site told her that all Americans want them to speak good English, about a job... I never asked her any of these questions..... She also got real made at me, but I think it was miss communication. I'm really confused any suggestions ?
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FloridaGuyinBrasil
8/26/2016 16:39 EST
Poor Brasilians with no job who don't own any real estate find it very hard to get even a tourist visa.
It sounds to me that she is trying to tell you that YOU need to sponsor her if you want her to come back.
Just having met her, I'd be real cautious, Brasilian women are famous for deception and trouble.
I'd suggest you come to Brasil yourself and seek out many different women and spend time with them. That's the only way you can make sure the relationship is honest.
A lot of them just want a way out of Brasil.
Another really good idea would be to look for Brasilians where you live in the US now.
Look for stores that cater to Brasilians, sell Brasilian stuff.
Go online and look for groups that deal with 'spiritism' of Alan Cardec. Many Brasilian women of quality go to these 'churches'. Are many of them in the US.
Don't subscribe to the mentality of 'shortage of good women', seek out the best ones, not someone desperate to live up here at all costs.
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sperit
8/26/2016 17:31 EST
Hi, thanks for your info. I am aware of the bad things, I was not looking for a Brazilian woman just happened. She is different from most. She had been looking for a couple years. but most guys want sex and if she can work. Thanks
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Marlington
8/27/2016 08:55 EST
I have lived in Brazil for 40 years. My advice is for you to run in the opposite direction. In general, Brazilian women are bounty hunters. If she has been looking for a couple for years and has not succeeded "because men only want sex" there must be something either very wrong or very dodgy about her. Most Brazilian women just want sex and money so that excuse is not to be reckoned with. Run, man, run!
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BrazD
8/27/2016 09:41 EST
I do similar work with folks from around the world at the tropical NE tip of Brazil that Marlington does down south. I have noted her solid and honest, educated advice to folks for I think at least 7 years. 40 years is a long time folks, if she says run, you better put your running shoes on immediately and never look back and send her flowers in thanks.
I am here just 13 years, married a woman I met on the first day here, however I had been here three times before. I also looked at the idea with very clear glass in my lenses, no rose colored allowed. I studied everything about this woman for two months, focusing on her character and relationships with everyone around her, her attitude, her work ethic, her health, her openness to learn, her money consciousness etc. Being attracted is the easy part, thinking that everything else will work itself out later is the reason why most relationships crash in a couple of years these days. There is no "all" that applies to most any conversation about anything but there are generalities sure. It doesn't matter whether we are talking about Brazil or NY or London, both men and women have their stuff and today you have to be pretty smart about it all to have a chance at a good long term relationship. So for gosh sakes pay attention to signs you are getting and just say no thanks unless you are open to what I have seen so many gringoes go through that let their hormones and illusions rule their decision making process. I have some Nike's I can lend you! Aloha and good luck and thanks Marlington for all your great service to folks all these years!
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Marlington
8/27/2016 10:20 EST
Thank you for your trust. I do my best to turn the path as smooth as possible for people from different cultures who are thinking of taking such a big step, not only regarding marriage but also when it comes to moving to Brazil and buying real estate in Florianopolis. Unfortunately, just as many other places in the world, Brazil is still a mine field in such matters.
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sperit
8/27/2016 10:41 EST
Thank you very much for all the feed back, I'm not new to the dating thing. just a lot of information. To me she is different. She has a job she is a nurse and has a house, travels a lot, I guess some men get intimidated by that, from what she told me. Can she get a job here as a nurse ? She came to Chicago would not let me pay for her hotel... We had a great Time, she did not want to do anything special. We could have just stayed in the room for 3 days. I have not seen any signs that she is greedy. I'm not dumb when it comes to this. Unless she is extremely good at a con. But I won't jump into anything quickly. But she keeps saying it is to difficult to come to the US... that is what confuses me.
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sperit
8/27/2016 10:49 EST
Thanks , I'm sure a large percentage are bad but there must be some good experiences. But i'm not going to rush anything...
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FloridaGuyinBrasil
8/27/2016 13:16 EST
It's pretty simple really ..... if you are agonizing about anything, don't waste another minute on this woman. RUN. This is the tip of the iceberg.
TOO MANY good women out there to spend one second with bad choices.
Don't have the mentality of SCARCITY, think ABUNDANCE.
Takes at least a year to know each other well enough.
Another BIG thing is class .... DON'T date or marry outside YOUR class, BIG mistake to marry someone who has no job, no house, no car, no stability. Plenty of Brasilian women with great jobs, great college education, great families. Don't settle for less. IF anything, marry UP. Partners with NOTHING have NOTHING to give. Don't get caught up excusing it away by saying Brasil is Brasil. You'll be sorry later.
Think with the right HEAD.
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FloridaGuyinBrasil
8/27/2016 14:40 EST
Understand, RUN from her, big personality problems.
She IS demanding you help her get to the US without any obligation, no emotional attachment.
I've had BR women flirt with me to go out for dinner. Ended up going and she just walked away with no thanks, see you later, nothing. COLD.
Aren't you looking for the sweetest woman you can find ? SHE isn't it.
List all the characteristics you look for in a woman
Chicago must have a huge Brasilian population, check it out.
A BR woman who has already merged into the US society is far ahead of one who has not.
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