jal77
7/19/2009 02:02 EST
Fisrt to mention that I am no english native speaker, I am spanish. This happened in spain, once I came back to spain from my encouter in nanning with my gf. My gf hired a person to translate and paid him 2000 yuans. But I was aware of it, this guy managed everything from the begining and turn all into a big confusion. Because my chinese is not good enough and I found it out just a week ago I am still investigating about it. My gf says she didnt know that this person was keeping all the money was sending to her . This person impersonante my gf and used his own name to get the money from western union. From the very beginning this guys says is her cousin and because she does not speak english so it is all managed by him. I could not have any suspicious about him. Maybe this person told my gf I could not marry her then the relatinship was over but he impersonante my gf and was keeping money. However my gf says was keeping contact with him but I do not know how long. Everything is a mess right now, I cannot differ of what she really is. First I thought she really cheated me but is still in contact with me and trying to catch this guy. I reported to nanning expats forum and they told me this is common in china. But know what I just really mind is if she really loves me or is still using me... I getting a paranoid and losing my confidence with chinses people. I want to visit my gf but she says she cannot stay with my because is working to start up a business. It is that normal in china? She told me I can go to guiyang and we could met but at the moment we cannot get marry. I have to say that due to this dirty I decided to broke up, and I found out what had happened. She is burden now in conscience a big guilt. But I want to forgive her because it is not get fault. Well, going to the point, I love her and I cannot give up on her, I need to know the truth or any advise and learn more about chinese relationship. As I learnt, in some places in china you cannot live together with you gf if you are not already married. It is only between chinese and foreigner? Is there anyone who lives in guiyang or nanning? She is from nannign but living in guiyang. Now I have a benefit of 400 euros per month becuase I rented my apartment, so could I stay in guiyang or nanning with that amount of money per month? I have to say that I do not count with commision of withdrawn and etc. What is the best plan to do?
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minimconsulting
From: United Kingdom
7/21/2009 05:21 EST
I am bi-lingual English-Spanish, so you could write to me fully in Spanish if that is easier at china.consulting@minim.biz
Meanwhile, I suspect that you have been "had" - 'te han engañado'
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carlzhang
8/19/2010 05:08 EST
Hello there. This is Carl from Nanning. I am a Chinese person, very sad to hear about your experience. Have you been to Nanning? Maybe i can give you some help if you are here.
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surfin
9/3/2013 16:24 EST
Hi I am going to Nanning and hope i don't have the same experience as you! What other suggestions do you have or does anyone have? Thank you! Surfin
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southerncalm
9/9/2013 14:40 EST
Sorry to hear this, but it happens often. I am married to a Chinese, I have been going to China and working with the Chinese since 1984. I live in China also. If I can give advise I will be happy to help. NO FEE, NO CHARGE, I would just like to help others avoid some of these common scams. Good luck to all of you
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Rundowntheroad
10/5/2013 06:05 EST
so how do you speak with your girlfriend? Through a translator? Have you actually met her? Are you sure the two are not working together?
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KAIXIN
From: China
10/28/2013 15:33 EST
I think rundowntheroad is correct. This is a common scan in China. Accept your losses (financially and emotionally) and move on. It was an expensive lesson but an important one. You are very unlikely to make this mistake again. I have worked in China for 12 years. Do not allow this one experience to change your opinion of all Chinese. Most of them are thoughtful, considerate individuals and make wonderful friends! However, like every other country in the world, some people will take advantage of you just because you are a good caring person. That's life. Now move on.
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rockinit
1/29/2014 03:25 EST
Almost all Chinese lady listings originate with a marriage agent. The agents employ translators and there is a great difference in the honesty level from one marriage agency to another. It is a good idea to ask for video call to see if your lady is real or if she even knows of your interest. On the other hand, some agencies call your lady and translate your letter and reply with your lady's message.
The marriage agencies don't want you to communicate directly because they expect you to try to avoid paying the introduction fee which is income for them.
I am an American living in Qingdao. I have some experience in these matters and actually know a legitimate marriage agency, here. I also know of one that is far less than honest. Good Luck and don't lose faith in Chinese people, they are mostly honest, friendly people.
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Umpire
3/5/2014 20:48 EST
why don't you just move to China and then try to meet someone there? Anyone you meet via the internet like this will always be unreliable. It is a business transaction, not love and if it is better business for her to cheat you, she would be stupid not to.
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richwood7
7/13/2015 03:04 EST
True, I did the same but I would never send money to anyone I had not meet. The girl i came out to marry was great but greedy and I ended that but the women are all over. The catch is to find one who is interested in love not money. I am an American so I could come here for a year without really knowing anyone (did need to get a letter of invite which the first girl did). I ended up marring someone else
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