It took me several months to get over the 5 stages of culture shock. After a year it was much better, now after 5 years, I love it here. Having Chinese friends and family help the most. I remember my first trip alone was on the bus going to Walmart, haha. It felt more like home. Just remember, get out of the apartment, walk around and learn all you can, even now my Chinese is simple, I still use signing most of the time.

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I've been in China 6 years. I've made major moves three times and each time I experience culture shock. You have to re-tune your ears to the local accent, re-establish shopping circuits and re-create your sanctuary..er, I mean home. I am married to a wonderful Chinese man so I am looking at China for the long term. He is a journalist and our recent move took us to Hainan Island where his coverage area was primarily rural.
The first year I suffered from severe loneliness as we were in a larger city(500,000) but there was absolutely no other foreigners and very few locals who could speak minimal English, all of whom were men.

I languished fearing for my mental stability until I realized it was up to me to do something about my situation. I was not going to make it unless a drastic change was made as I was spending more and more time holed up in our apartment avoiding all of the pointing and staring whenever I would venture out.
The solution for me was to move to an even smaller town and open a little B&B by the beach. The smallness of the town solved the pointing and staring as the locals soon realized I was living there with my Chinese husband. Seeing the same friendly faces everyday eased my sense of isolation and I began to build rapport with the townsfolk in a way that was impossible in the larger city. I would begin to recognize people out of context; my egg lady at the bank lobby, my fruit seller walking down the street, my mechanic as he rode his motorcycle. What's more they would recognize me.

The B&B took off thanks to Lonely Planet and I am now having excellent interactions with visitors from around the world.

I am proud of the little life I have been able to carve out for myself. It's been a lot of hard work and steely determination and yes, plenty of blood, sweat and gallons of tears. However, I can truly say it feels like home.

I would be happy to connect with other expat women in China to share my experiences and to give as well as receive encouragement and support.

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