littlewhitedog
3/13/2017 18:24 EST
How fast do couples move in Colombia? I've been dating this man for a month and the other day he called me his future wife while addressing to me. We have not talked about marriage at all, so this really shocked me. Is this just a cultural difference or a red flag? Dating in the US is different than here, and I know that pet names are huge, but this seems a lot more intense to me.
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WhoaNellie
3/13/2017 20:25 EST
I hesitate to say anything at all, my overall experience with marriage not being the best, so just this saying alone is perhaps sufficient advice:
Antes que te cases, mira lo que haces.
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cccmedia
3/13/2017 20:26 EST
You bet there's a difference!
For one thing, the same word -- 'novia" -- means both girlfriend and fiancée.
You've just crossed over into the Twilight Zone.
cccmedia in another Zone (The Coffee Zone)
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Visitando
3/13/2017 21:58 EST
girlfriend is novia
fiancee or engaged is comprometida
wife is esposa
It is commonplace to call someone Mi Amor (my love) or Mi Cielo (my sky) or cariño (sweetheart) even from the first date.
Calling someone your future wife after a month is certainly in line with the culture.
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afarestegui
3/14/2017 09:50 EST
RED FLAG!!! As fast as he labeled you his future wife, you must RUN even faster. “1 + 1 =2”, “What goes up must come down”, “Touch fire and you burn”, A Colombian man labeling you his future wife in just one month=DESPERATE. Consider all these examples facts, and the former example a fact as well. Your situation is even more common than you can imagine. And if you are an “extranjera or extranjero” foreigner, you are more likely to be exposed to this “BS” (sorry for the strong language). Such situation hit closer to home when last year, my niece enrolled in a semester of Spanish here in Colombia, and stayed in my home during the entire semester. After one month of studies, she met a fellow school mate, and she introduced him to me (the Uncle). Having been aware of too many similar situations, of which always ended with the foreigner being “F…ed over”, and considering that it was now “my niece” possibly being taken as a fool, I confided in my niece, and advised her “Mucho ojo y mucho cuidado y recuerda que el hombre llega hasta donde la mujer permite.” to be very cautious and observant of this guy, and that men go as far as women allow them to. Fortunately my niece smelled the “Veracruz coffee =milk with triple espresso shots” and was smart enough to prioritize her studies. Less than a month after having been introduced to this mentioned guy, my niece confided that she had cut all interaction with him. In short, my niece had not even agreed in being his girlfriend, and yet he was already introducing my niece as his girlfriend and FUTURE WIFE to his circle of friends and family. In doing so, the guy’s friends and family unknowingly exposed the guy’s true intentions (potential marriage=papers to the US). I’ve seen this same or similar situation over and over again. I’m glad to mention that, today, my niece is working and studying in Lausanne. I know she will eventually find a truly respectful and loving man.
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mtbe
3/15/2017 07:18 EST
As previously mentioned, it is in line with the culture to be saying these 'sweet nothings'. They will tell the next girlfriend the same thing after one month...or to the girl they are trying to pick up. ...and same goes for Latinas finding a man.
...and because they are so use to saying, and hearing, these 'kind' words....they don't have the same deep heartfelt meaning that they may in the US or Europe.
...do be careful.
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SkyMan
3/16/2017 11:46 EST
Oh yes.....his $hip did arrive & packaged nicely too. el Amor
El Amor, El Amor.
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