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bnolen55
  2/4/2018 14:22 EST

Greetings all. I joined this site to glean as much information as possible on life in Colombia, specifically Pereira. I have become quite close to a nice lady there and I will visit her for the first time over Easter weekend. Who knows where this well lead, but I would consider retiring to Colombia if need be. We are working on the language barrier with some success, so that is not a major concern at this time. Any concerns I should have over this short visit? Is living in Colombia a comfortable life for those who live there now? Thanks for reading this and please be prepared for many more questions. Thanks a bunch. BN

SkyMan
  2/4/2018 15:36 EST

bn.....your story sounds familiar..."I've become close to a nice lady in Colombia". The Colombian ladies are quite attractive...yes, they are.

My suggestion is to begin to study español as soon as possible. It will make any visit to any Latin American country more enjoyable.
Also...it will enhance your relationship greatly.

I am so fortunate to have spoken fluent español for many years...and have been able to adapt to life in Colombia quite well. It will just make everyday life much easier for you.

While you are in Pereira...you should also visit Manizales & Armenia(both nice cities w/amenities). Any time one travels in Latin America/Asia/Europe/etc. just use common sense, and be aware of your surroundings & your lady will help with that, as she knows the turf. Buena Suerte ! Tranquilo.

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novato1953
  2/4/2018 16:49 EST

Welcome aboard, You can learn a lot here. Naturally some who post have unreliable posting histories, and you can learn about those by using the search function on the page. Might be helpful to read previous comments, separate the wheat from the chaff. Stuff never dies on the internet.

pocopelo
  2/4/2018 17:48 EST

Hi 55, welcome. You'll learn a lot just by going back through old threads. You'll find, however, that the topic title and actual content of the thread can be totally unrelated. That's just the nature of how this forum works. There are numerous useful posts by "cafetero", who has posted quite frequently on diverse topics. No sign of him lately on here. Hopefully all is well.

LaPiranha
  2/4/2018 20:11 EST

BN ... ""Any concerns I should have over this short visit?""

Hi. Well this might sound a little odd to a first time visitor where there is a lady waiting for you. But there are some signs to look out for, and they should sound some alarm bells.

Whilst many Colombian ladies are perfectly genuine, nice, pretty, sexy too, and they can make good life partners/wives, there are also some who see Gringos as their own personal cash dispenser. After all, Gringos are rich. Well, to a Colombian, they are, when you consider most are on the minimum wage of about 250 bucks a month, working 60 hour weeks, and sometimes 7 days a week).

Below are some tactics which I and also many others have encountered in our time here,

First time you meet, they are all over you, "I love you," etc etc. On the second date, she's sad "I lost my job, and if I can't pay my rent, I'll be out on the street with nowhere to live". Tugs at the heart strings, especially when she has a little child.

There are many variations of this, "My sister needs an operation, or she may die. We can't afford health insurance, and I love her so much, she is the only person in the world that I have" .

She takes you to a shopping mall, and drools over something she loves. Looks at you with puppy dog eyes, and she has even trained for many years to bring tears to her eyes just at the right moment. You'll feel so good buying it for her. But after you've gone home, she takes it back to the shop for a refund.

She needs to go shopping for a new bed. She finds one she likes, but when she gets to the checkout, she suddenly realizes she doesn't have any money. If you're hard enough to ignore this, or pretend you don't understand, she will then pull out her credit card, which she didn't know she had in her purse. Guess what? Its declined. She looks at you ...... Seriously, who goes shopping with no money, and a credit card that's useless? If you don't smell a rat here, there's no hope for you, haha.

Its her child's birthday, and she can't afford a present. You are the knight in shining armour, and come to her rescue with an offer to help with the present. Guess what? Its the latest iphone costing 4 million pesos.

The first night making love should be a really special occasion, (she says), so you book a holiday somewhere nice ........ but she is embarrassed that her night clothes are old. This actually happened to me ... so I said ok, order a nice sexy baby doll nighty. She did, and the total bill for clothes came to over 3 million pesos. (I dumped her on the spot, and took another girl on the holiday to save wasting it, haha.

Ok, you may not believe that your lady is like that, and of course, its possible she really is a nice person, who is only in it for love .... (or a visa), but there are many guys who do get caught.

After you get back home, after a lovely time, you get a call. She's pregnant. Be sure its true, and if it is true, get a test. Many girls say the same to about 20 blokes, who all send her maintenance for the same baby. And sometimes, the baby doesn't even exist, and some guys have paid maintenance for the whole 18 years until its an adult.

I really wish you luck, have a great time, and I hope you find love. Yes, it does happen, and many a guy lives happily ever after. But remember, many don't. The above stories are all true. Just be aware.

Good luck.

Andresen
  2/4/2018 20:25 EST

We should probably start a new thread, but here's my story. She's here, I'm back in the States. Besides sending her money and presents she tells me she needs a winter coat. I send her the money and she sends me a photo of her in her new coat. Problem is in a photo she sent me some weeks before you can see the same coat hanging on a peg behind her.

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LaPiranha
  2/4/2018 22:59 EST

Hahaha. Well spotted . :))

LaPiranha
  2/4/2018 23:01 EST

Ok, Good idea. I'll kick it off with a copy n paste. You transfer yours to it aswell.

seablock
  2/9/2018 10:42 EST

I am married to a Colombiana but have seen gringos being taken advantage of. Most americans are eager to please their new "friend" and you don't want to look like a "tacano" (cheapskate). But the rules from USA dating don't apply. In most cases, you will be responsible to pay for their transport to the meeting place and for all activities. It is important that you control the venue as if you take them into a department store or Studio F, they may ask for a gift. So you should be prepared to say no (or yes) with an explanation of why it is inappropriate. And (like bargaining for a car), you need to be willing to walk away when the request becomes a demand and deal killer. While most ladies are not that way, there are sufficient to be wary and you need to be prepared. When going to visit a lady you met online in a different town, you have to be careful especially if you stay with her as you may be taking on more than you bargained for.

Elexpatriado
  2/11/2018 07:27 EST

"Met aNice Lady and I am going to meet here for the first time"

I take it you met her over the internet...

Tell me her name and I will tell you how many other "Marranos" shes got on the go


Ja ja ja

Elexpatriado
  2/11/2018 07:35 EST

If they want a gift on the first few dates tell them you will take them to a hotel room to negotiate

At least you know what type of woman they are

Seriiusly if they are not screwing barrio boys or other gringos its ok.

Even if they are and you ar ok with it its ok. Depends on what type of relationship you want and for how long.

Lieing and manipulation..NOT OK...under any circumstances..

Have to set boundaries or they lose respect

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Click connect to have our partner contact you via e-mail and/or phone.

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bnolen55
  2/17/2018 07:47 EST

thank you everyone for your words of advice and words of caution. i do not believe i am being mislead in any way. this young lady appears very wholesome, a little shy, but i believe worth the effort. so,i am going to visit over Easter weekend. a short visit to start. for a three day visit do i need just my passport? no other documentation? i will get colombian pesos from my bank. other than that, i do not know what else would be needed. thanks now for your responses

novato1953
  2/17/2018 09:46 EST

Call your bank well before you leave, file a travel alert, ask about foreign transaction fees, ask about ATM fees. Most often you get the best rate simply by withdrawing cash at a Colombian ATM after you arrive, but if your home bank fees are too high it might work out different.

saiid20
  2/17/2018 10:28 EST

Cheaper to just use your debit card in ATM here...just notify the bank of your travel plans. Important.

SkyMan
  2/17/2018 10:56 EST

bn...one thing you should do...definitely is this: Listen to what the posters have said...concerning nice Colombianas...it is in your best interest. *Or you'll become just another gringo who has masterfully "used" by a lovely lady in Colombia. Elex speaks the truth...and all of the other similar posts too. we posters are "trying" to help you...keep your eyes wide open...oh yes, bring more pesos than you think you'll need, as she will want algunos regalos. p.s you may want to bring some condoms too ! Buena Suerte ! Tranquilo.

LaPiranha
  2/17/2018 11:52 EST

BN .... Regarding visas, or just your passport, you didn't say where you are from.

If you are from the USA, UK, or EU, you can enter on just your passport. They will stamp it on entry and on exit, to ensure you don't overstay.

However, if you are not from the above, you will find many other countries require a visa, and to avoid the risk of being sent back on the next plane, you should contact your nearest Colombian embassy, or check the website of immigration, to check, and organize if necessary.

Yes, as suggested above, the cheapest way to obtain Colombian pesos, is to use the cash machines here with your debit card. You get the best exchange rates, but may have a small fee for the transaction.

As regards Skyman's suggestion, (bring plenty of condoms), you may find that they are not necessary, for if she is a nice girl, she won't be too free and easy with it. The easy ones are the ones you don't really want to marry. One of the main differences here in Colombia, is that the nice girls have morals, unlike those from the "civilized" countries where they lost those important values years ago..

Yes, Colombia has a reputation for the girls being pretty, sexy, and desirable. Yes, they are, but do you really want to marry one who puts out to anyone? If she is a nice girl, it may take a while for things to happen, when she knows you, loves you, trusts you, and sees a future with you.

Yeah, its great to have a good time, spend the whole holiday in bed with a beautiful chica latina, but that will normally tell you what kind of girl she really is. If she is worth marrying, you probably won't need the condoms. You'll have a lifetime of sex later.

Have a great trip, enjoy your time here, get to know Colombia, and of course, the girl too. Then you'll know which way you're heading.

testolas
  2/17/2018 13:00 EST

bnolen55, Remember if the relationship ever get serious and you are thinking of getting married. Take a good long look at the family as when you get married you get married to the family too. Also if you have a T-Mobile cell phone your texts and data are free and your phone calls take or sent is 20 cents a minute if you sign up for the $10 international calling and when you are back in the States call to landlines to Colombia are free. My wife use this three times a day when calling. Also get use to using Whatapp program it is a good source of video and voice chat. You can get by with the Google translator for the language barrier until you learn more Spanish. For your information I live in both countries US and Colombia and also purchase a home in Manizales. Good luck and enjoy your visit. If I could be any more help let me know.

Andresen
  2/17/2018 16:41 EST

Bring 2 debit cards. Squirrel one away as an emergency backup.

ponymalta
  2/18/2018 13:44 EST

Good advice, whats app is widely used in Colombia.
Keeping a spare debit card not a bad idea for a variety of reasons.
Meeting family a good idea for an impression.

cafetero
  2/20/2018 22:05 EST

Its absolutely amazing how WhatsApp has taken over so rapidly and completely. I used to spend about 10,000 pesos month on phone calls, now i spend maybe 1,000 pesos month for phone calls, mostly to call taxis or Uber and only because they aren't yet on WhatsApp.

Notify your bank that you will be in Colombia, otherwise they will freeze your cards. Most of us rely on ATMs for spending money because they are easily found in the airport, bus terminal, supermarkets, even on the street. Just be careful when you take out money to have someone with you. In a strange location I´ll look for a security guard or cop to stand beside me while I withdraw then have him walk me to a taxi.

All of the above comments in this thread are correct in my opinion. In the 10 years I've been dating Colombianas I've met probably 100 of them and probably half have been ¨interesadas¨ meaning they are in it for the money, usually working a short term scam of some sort. The really clever ones will work a long term scam that might leave you swimming in debt.

I laughed out loud at Andreson´s story about the coat on the hanger in the background. I've had a few go-arounds like that.

Many of these girls will lie about just about anything; how old they are, how many times they've been married or living common-law with boyfriends, even how many kids they have.

They all sound nice and sweet and squeaky clean on the Internet, then the layers start peeling off and the core can be pretty ugly sometimes.

I recently met a sweet, young thing on the Internet from Manizales who turned out to be alcoholic and clepto. Another one I recently met from Cartago turned out to be bi-polar and needed 100,000 pesos month for her meds (so she said) but of course these girls are on government insurance and doctor prescribed medicine is free, so she would pocket the 100,000 if she found a guy dumb enough to give it to her.

As pointed out in previous posts I've been hit up for money for everything from breast enhancements, one woman wanted a vagina enhancement where they make it smaller to increase pleasure, most of them have a mother who needs surgery or a baby who needs diapers and formula, or a teenager who needs a bed so he doesn't have to sleep with her. One woman I met in Bogota was still sharing a double bed with her 14 year old son.

The list could go on, and on, and on. Just about anyone on this forum can tell you story after story.

There have also been some really good dates with really nice women, otherwise I wouldn't keep doing it. Several of the ones I've dated were excellent marriage possibilities but I'm too old for most of the ones I date. At 70 it is still easy to date 30 year old women, but finding one to marry closer to my own age has not worked out yet.

Also, I've had lots of challenges when they have kids. I've pretty much eliminated dating any woman with more than one kid. There are just too many people in the relationship at that point.

As pointed out above you also marry the parents and brothers and sisters and even cousins and nephews/nieces. You become the ATM for the whole family if you aren't careful.

I also don't date women with boy children. Odd thing in this country is the mothers treat the boy child like a king, spoil the crap out of him, and defend him fiercely. That goes on from the time the boy is born until the mother dies. Strange relationship dynamics, I've heard it called ¨oedipus complex¨ . You can google it, pretty disgusting relationship between some of these boys and their moms.

I once saw a 10 year old boy rubbing his mom´s belly and breasts because she was having stomach cramps with her period. That sort of thing is somewhat common between mom and boy child and it is guaranteed to turn your stomach.

Just because the kids are older and out of the house doesn't mean you are off the hook for support, either. They will want money for university, or to pay the rent, or to pay their bills. When they break up with their lover they will move back in with mom and bring the grand kids with them.

Still, there have been a lot of good dates over the years, that's why I still meet girls and go on dates and invite them for the weekend. When a weekend works out well it is a heck of a lot of fun, believe me.

PM me if you have questions about Pereira. I've lived around Pereira off and on for 8 years so I am somewhat familiar with the city and surrounding area.

good luck with everything

cafetero
  2/20/2018 22:19 EST

There was a comment earlier about condoms. I see an amazing variety of condoms displayed at all the drugstores here. Personally I buy the ones from the supermarket ARA. they cost 6,000 for 3 and I find them to be comfortable, but they do need extra lubrication sometimes, you can buy a little tube of water based lubricant with the condom if you buy in the drugstores.

As for V¡agra, its a real success story here. It is actually made by Pfizer in a plant in Cali, and sold in Colombia as Sildenifil.

Sildenifil is sold like aspirin, over the counter, no prescription. Costs about 2,000 pesos for 50 miligram tablet, which you can cut in half to last you a weekend. The blue pills are actually cheaper than the condoms :-)

soystar1
  2/21/2018 08:37 EST

First of all, welcome to Colombia. I hope you have all accomodations in order. If not ask a taxi driver about any clean cheap places. As mentioned before, atm's are abundant but stick to w/d funds from banks or malls. I usually do a walk around just in case any one is lurking.

Food is cheap here. Taxi rides within the city are fairly inexpensive. Try to keep your conversation at a minimum with taxi drivers as this is how they size you up. You can easily arrange for a driver /car with the hotel staff if the need arises. Pereira also has a bus line that cris crosses all over town.

I usually go the mall when in town. Seems like everyone else does too especially after lunch.

First time here, there should be no reason that your friend should be in the mall except for ulterior motives. If she really enjoys your company you will meet with family at their home. A popular gimmick here is go to lunch and everyone hops on board. Deny this and just say I that you want to spend time with your friend being the first time.

I always tell my lady friends to make me lunch (the buy in) or if they can buy me something to remember our time together. If no is the answer, I move on mentally.

A good place to meet women here is to go the local gym. You can purchase a daily, weekly stint for about 5,000 cop. Keep your options open.

Your job here is to have a nice time. Keep your nose closed as there are many nice women here but after a while you get used to it and can move into top shelf women: job, car, house and no kids. Don't worry, women here that are beautiful are not alone for a long time, but since you are a gringo that puts your value atop others.

Fashion sense here should be modern and clean. Personal hygiene should be keen. Shoe style is big here as well as Levis. If you don't have new clothes go to Zara in the Arboleda mall.

Just my thoughts in a nutshell. Have fun.

cafetero
  2/21/2018 11:40 EST

Excellent advice soystar

Meeting the girl alone the first time is optimal, then if you want to continue with her you can arrange to meet at least a portion of her family. By all means feel free to tell her ¨no lunch¨ with her family until you know her better. She will understand.

Meeting her family on the second or third day is useful in several ways. It increases her confidence in you and hopefully increases your confidence in her. It gives you a chance to size them up and see what you might be able to expect from them in the future.

I once liked a girl a lot until on our third date I met her fat, slovenly, ugly mother. They say if you want to know what your wife or girlfriend will look like in 20 years just look at her mother. Ugh!

Another time I liked a girl until I met her father. He was an attorney, and I could see him sizing up my wallet from across the room. Professionals, especially attorneys, can be masters at the long scam. I hightailed out of that relationship pronto.

It is not unusual to meet a cultured, educated, intelligent girl who's parents are or were campesinos (farmers). Many of the families were displaced from the farm to the city during the civil war that went on here for 50 years. the parents may have no formal education, but intelligent nonetheless.

bigjailerman
  2/21/2018 16:06 EST

Hahs you guys are worse than women in the USA the way they size up men.
Your not shopping cars.

Don't act like a papaya when a Gringo gets here, don't give away everything you have and don't be a d+ck. No different here, just more beautiful women.

cafetero
  2/21/2018 18:21 EST

Scumbuster and Skyman, check your PMs :)

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