Tip number one: have someone explain the social etiquette in Denmark and listen very carefully. Once you know the social codes, and accept them, life is a lot easier to navigate. Otherwise just keep quiet and smile and nod a lot.

Number 2: On parenting: If you are a parent, get used to the fact that 'stranger danger' is an unknown concept in Denmark. Not because it is any safer than anywhere else, but just that it is not something the children are taught. If you are overheard coaching your kids about stranger safety you will be looked at like you are utterly insane.

Number 3: when you see a very small child strapped into a baby carriage in the middle of winter screaming it's head off while the parents sit inside a cafe - this is no reason to call child protection, this is how a child 'gets a proper airing' in denmark. The habit of airing kids in prams is quite normal here, as is letting them scream to sleep.

Number 4: Whatever your stance on alcohol is, forget it, drinking is part of life here, and children are put on the booze around the age of 13, it's tradition, and you will be seen as a misfit if you don't drink.

Number 5: Do not mistake the cycle paths for sidewalk, the cyclists will not stop and will prefer to plough into you to make a point.

Number 6: Buy a lot of small 'tealight' candles. A Dane considers a home derelict without at least twelve of these flickering away and placed at strategic and artistic points, AT ALL TIMES it's cosy, and never mind the fumes.

Number 7: Alter your shopping expectations. For starters, everything here is unreasonably and greedily priced. EXTORTIONATE! Plus they have weird opening hours: weekdays it is common for most shops to open only after 10am. On Saturdays, forget about it, they are shut by 1-2pm.

Number 8: On the positive side: gift wrap everything. Most little Danish shops have a free giftwrap service at the counter. And anything can be giftwrapped. Sales assistants will cheerfully gift wrap anything sold in their boutiques (and finish with dramatic furls of ribbon in most cases), nothing too big or two small. i have had items gift wrapped that are just part of my normal shopping list, just to relieve the frustration of having to spend 10 dollars on a tube of cheap brand shampoo.

Number 9: Ship your jello ('jelly') in, they don't have it here. Actually, unless you like subsisting on a diet of cheaply produced pig meat and dairy products, ship everything.

Number 10: Get wise about the beer festivals/'holy days...as these dictate. The Danes are attached to their nordic festivals and the year is evenly punctuated with them and they flow one to the other and have nationally celebrated customs that go with them. You can't ignore them, they are the backbone of the culture. EVERYBODY, even the homeless, celebrates them in order. It's the law here. Otherwise you won't only be like a fish out of water, you will be like someone lost at sea! Knowing the dates of all the major festivals and drinking days here (like Easter and Jul, and about a score of others) will be like a liferaft.


Extra tip: when you pay a deposit on a rented property - do not, I repeat, DO NOT expect to get one kroner of it back. Even if you do not damage any part of your rented place, when you leave, the landlords will keep it all. It's the law here. If you have only lived in the place for three months, they will still take it all. You can try to take them to court for their corruption but any lawyer here will tell you that there is no point. There is a long queue of people trying to get their deposits back and rarely do they win.

Extra tip: head for the beaches and the forests - very pretty and clean.

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WOW- somebody's bitter! Sounds like you have had a bad experience in DK, and I can see some of your points- but these are just your opinions, don't try to scare this poor person away. Your points about alcohol and child-rearing are subjective, I don't know any Dane who would purposely leave their child out screaming in the cold! (it is not dangerous for a child to be outside in the cold- as long as they are packed in- maybe you don't see it, but these kids are packed in warm clothes and have extra warm sleepingbags, etc.) Nor do I know any parents who "put their kids on the booze" at 13. Maybe it's the people you are socializing with?
Many other things are trivial- wrapping gifts, tealights?? Jello? Give me a break- this was a joke, right? You get get American food in big markets like Magasin, but when in a foreign country you have to accept that some of the foods are different. I totally disagree with your statement about dairy and meats. What do you have to base this on?
I agree with the lousy opening-hours and the comment about the forest and the beaches however.

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Yep have to agree, Fae you sound a bit bitter or upset. Actually your point about kids outside in prams, I did experience that the other day. I walked past a cafe, nice and warm and toasty inside, the mummys by the window sipping their coffee. Two very well wrapped, covered prams outside the window and one screaming baby. I had been warned against telling mothers about crying babies so walked on. Very odd. An english friend who is married to a dane said it is normal here to leave kids outside.

I personally love it here, sure it is extortionately expensive, I can't figure out what the average dane gets in return for handing over nearly 80% of their salaries to the government (with all taxes combined) that other countries with tax half that size provide (like New Zealand eg).

But our lifestyle is much better than in Netherlands, people are pleasant and relaxed, there is a reasonable variety of most products.

When you are a foreigner in a country you really cannot expect to get your favourite home goodies, why should you?! Allow for that and get family to send stuff over. You just need to plan ahead or cook like the locals, then you have everything you need.

So, it is all in perspective, everyone has a different perspective. Before we moved here i spoke with two people who had just left. One hated it but she arrived with a 3 week baby and lived outside of Copn and the other loved it, had older children in school.

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I have to say I understand the problem. I have tried to adjust to this country for the last 2 years and have been marginally successful. I am an American, and I find the Danes to be polite, but that I am just not part of 'their club.'

I was truly, truly suprised by the difference of this culture from other cultures. I have been in Germany and other countries, but the Scandinavian culture really requires some navigating. There are unspoken rules, as you might say, and they are difficult to learn because the Danes take the rules for granted, as we Americans take our rules for granted.

I find their driving very aggressive, and their social distancing problematic. Walking down the street, many Danes are not friendly, avert eye contact, and while shopping they almost bump into you with their cart, not to mention being a pedestrian, when they almost run you down!
I live in the southern U.S. as well, and everyone there is friendly, with a hello. They drive thinking about other people, generally, letting people in when the traffic is heavy. They stop for pedestrians, too!

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I just have to add, that I have almost been run down by the cyclists, too.
I do not mind the tea lights, though. . lol!

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I have to wonder, as well, about being ever accepted in this country. I have my Ph.D. in psychology, am licensed in the states, and have been waiting about 2 years now to become authorized to practice psychology! The last I heard is that I must give course descriptions of all the courses I took with the books I read. I cannot help but feel that the Danes do not want me.

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On the whole I haven't experienced too many unpleasantries, I live 30 minutes north of Copenhagen and the pace is a bit slower. I can only see big differences after having just spent 4 years living in Rotterdam, Netherlands. It was taking your life in your hands and literally being walked over every time you left the house. I was so stressed teh whole time and sometimes did not want to leave the house. Very happy to have left it behind! I am only here for another 2 and half years, so take it one step at a time. You can't expect to transfer your own culture and expectations to another, it just doesn't work. It takes more adjustment for you than the country you arrive in.

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Great tips and discussion!! Anyone else have any advice to add? If you got a call from an old friend or colleague who was moving to Denmark, what advice would you give them?

Betsy

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Jul and wellygirrl,

You both sound very defensive and justifiably so, I guess I could have mentioned that I gave my 10 top tips for living in Denmark with my big fat tongue firmly in my cheek.

I didn't meant to suggest anything in a suggestive or generalised way, but feel that if I had of KNOWN my listed 10 before I came here, it would have saved me at least 7 1/2 months of shock.

My ten tips were not 'a joke' but I do have a sense of humor. Hence my reason for deciding to stay on in Denmark for a while longer: free christmas cookies at every checkout in every store for the next few weeks!

HURRAH! I am making out like a bandit.


About the kids and alcohol, well, no we don't 'socialize' with parents who turn blind eyes to their kids getting sloshed as a habit.

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I guess what I would tell a friend who was moving to Denmark to become very serious about learning the language and that they should purchase a good language program, such as Rosetta Stone. Although Danes do speak English, they are not always fluent in the language and feel more comfortable in their own language.
I would say that they should not be taken aback when a Dane tells them what to do or not to do because the culture seems to be very much about opinion and giving opinions. To some, this would seem arrogant, but i really think it is just the culture. Often, a Dane will come up and tell you to not do this or do that, and it seems very bossy, but that is just their culture.
I have some theories, having spent some times in different cultures now, and I think each culture has a level of acceptance of other cultures in which they will accomodate to others as well as assimilate others. I think Denmark tends to have some difficulty in accomodating to other cultures, but has not much problem in assimilating the culture. They definitely want people to be Danish!

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Hi

Can somebody please confirm the problem with getting a deposit back? Is this accurate?

Regards

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No its not true - well ofcause there are crooks everywhere! - but what is true is that many landlords has rules that stipulate that you must pay to have the place painted whenever you vacate the appartment and that any failure to clean "perfectly" will lead to them hiring a cleaning company to do it for you ...both of which is costly!

In any case if this is a concern to you, make sure to read the small print in the contract and ask how much the previous tennant was charged upon moving out ....

After any such deductions, you are entitled to get the full deposit back ... but then again in Copenhagen the housing market has been quite high strung so I have no daubt that a lot of shady types have tried to take advantage of the situation - but in general the comments is NOT TRUE....

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We have only been here for 2 months. One of the aspects we are learning to live with is the lack of 'urgency' for service providers. If you are told something will take a week, assume it will take a month.

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