aero01
From: Denmark
5/8/2014 23:44 EST
I am sure many of us from the U.S. wish you had done more research before agreeing to move to Denmark. But since the decision has already been made, let me share a little about Sønderborg and what you can expect of your experience in Denmark. I agree mostly with the earlier poster - and I do not know any Americans who have left and moved to Denmark, but I do know many, including myself, who have left with or without husbands and with or without children after experiencing what I call the "Danish welcome."
First issue is what status you will be seeking residency under. You are by far better off coming as the spouse of an expat who has a contract to work in DK. The laws differ for spouses depending on the situation. Yes, it is wrong and it is also counter intuitive. But it is a fact and you won't benefit from fighting it.
If you come as the spouse of an expat, meaning a foreigner (sorry, I cannot see your post while I am writing this - you probably mentioned which there), then you will not have the same burdens in terms of taking language courses and oaths and making promises. You will have some "rights" to take Danish language classes, but you will not have the same obligations. Unless you are living in CPH, which you are not, you will really need to learn the language. Sønderborg does have somewhat of an international community, but it is small. I don't know if there is an international school available there for your kids. The town is on an island called Als, which is attached by a bridge (so not really an island) to the main peninsula that reaches upward from Germany toward Norway. That body of land has some of the most backward Danes in the country. Even the Danes make fun of them. That said, you can easily get on and off the island if you seek out an international school. I will ask a teacher I know (New Yorker) who is in Ribe, to seek out this thread. Don't know if he will - most of us avoid it. We being a bunch of Americans who find solice in each other's online and sometimes in person association.
I did not have children in Denmark, my older child was not permitted to stay which is part of why I left.
If you come over as a spouse, your husband (a Dane therefore) will have to post about $10,000 for you as security against you needing certain public support. If he should end up needing public support of this kind, he would be given it, but you would be forced to leave the country. yes. This has happened to Americans as well as others, more often if dark-skinned. As a spouse, you will be required to take an initial Danish course which is now very easy. Then you will have the "right" to a total of three years Danish language education at no cost. There are restrictions. When I landed, I was required to achieve a high level of Danish language because of my educational background and my coming as a spouse of a Dane.
It is definitely good that you will rent versus buy. We have lost a lot of money having bought our home (which was my husband's decision over my objection - as I suggested renting too). The housing market is very poor in Denmark. More so the farther away from major cities that you are.
I assume your husband got a job either with the university or with the large company that is headquartered there - does a lot of thermostat sales in Europe - can't remember the name. You will probably find yourself depending more on your husband than you want to in terms of culture and language (if he is Danish). He will have to make it easy for you, and for your children, as they may be white, but they are not warm people in Denmark by and large.
So yes, I hope your plan is not long term but if it is, I hope you have a lot of independent wealth that is secure from your husband as once you are on danish soil, you are subject to Danish law. And Danish law is not based on fairness and you will never be equal to a Dane according to Danish authorities. So please please please, protect yourself.
That said, you are in a great spot to take advantage of the proximity to Europe for purposes of travel. A great jumping off point. You will have lots of island around you, and the area westward, including Svendborg which is a bit north, and Aeroe, are beautiful. You will undoubtedly meet some nice people along the way, knowing Danish will help you with this. Even if you have to feel like a fool, they will appreciate it , be ready to take the risk of feeling foolish.
Very best of luck!
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