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Any safe cities for a young single mother?

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westwindcali
  4/24/2012 07:07 EST

Hello,

I am very much interested in living abroad with my son and being able to immerse him in another culture and language. Are there any safe areas we can consider in Ecuador or is going to Ecuador alone as a young woman (27) a really bad idea?

I have thoroughly researched various areas of Ecuador via this blog site and many others. I just have heard so many scary stories yet also see so many posts stating how safe their town is. I just don't understand what to think. I am particularly concerned with safety for the sake of my young child. I am his only parent and would not be relocating with anyone else. So, I would want to feel confident that I'm relatively secure wherever I relocate to.

vandtor
  4/24/2012 07:59 EST

Do you speak Spanish? Do you have income which would allow you to stay at home with your child? You might want to be a little more specific. Living abroad without the language skills can be very isolating.

The other thing that you must consider is that Latin American countries have strict rules about the movement of minors across borders. You will need legal, written permission from the other parent allowing the child to travel and when or court documentation verifying that there is no other parent to consider or proof that the other parent is deceased. These rules are on the books and can be enforced at any time. Ecuador will enforce them when leaving the country but can also enforce them on any type of VISA request. This is something that all parents should be aware of when minor children are only traveling with one parent.

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westwindcali
  4/24/2012 16:59 EST

To specifically answer your questions:

Yes, I speak Spanish. And, I have entire legal rights over my child. I could provide documentation. There is no issue in that regard. And I could support myself in Ecuador with continuing US income too.

My main concern is just safety and am trying to assess if by living there I would be placing myself and my young child in imminent danger? I am 100% caucasian with fair skin, freckles and strawberry blond hair; so, I worry about being targeted based upon visually looking like a foreigner.

westwindcali
  4/24/2012 18:10 EST

I tried to post this about an hour ago but I don't see it so if I end up double-posting, sorry!

To answer your questions:
1) Si, hablo espanol, mas o menos. Estoy viviendo en California! Pero, deseo aprender mas.

2) Yes, I have US income that can continue to come in.

3) I have documentation as you were speaking of. No issue there whatsoever! I never asked about this because it is not an issue.

My main concern is safety. I am a fair-skinned caucasian woman with freckles and strawberry blond hair. I am concerned about being targeted since I would look different from most of the population. I want to know if I would be placing myself and my child in imminent danger? Or, if there really is safety in some areas?

wynn
  4/24/2012 19:18 EST

VandTor is right. I can't speak for Ecuador, but as a former employee of a Brazilian Consulate in Canada, I can tell you that the problems with travelling with a minor without parental/guardian consent can be a nightmare. Airlines already know this and will likely ask for your notarized consent forms up-front. For the Immigration authorities you'll also need divorce papers / custody documents / and all of it has to be in both languages. You might want to check the Embassy/Consulates of your jurisdiction to find out what you will need. Maybe a few families with kids already in Ecuador can tell you what you need to know about safety concerns, schooling, etc.

DUNMOVN
  4/24/2012 20:12 EST

If you have no more patience than to post repeatedly to this forum expecting your posting to appear immediately, don't come to Ecuador. Like most Latin countries, Mañana is the watchword and mañana does not mean tomorrow, it means "not today".

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93455545
  4/24/2012 21:50 EST

dye your hair and get a tan. just funning. ha ha

westwindcali
  4/24/2012 23:23 EST

DUNMOVN: I posted it the second time because I wasn't sure if my computer really sent it through the first time. It was not a matter of impatience; rather, I wanted to reply to the person who reseponded to my message in due diligence. I hope that clears up your misunderstanding. Cheers.

westwindcali
  4/24/2012 23:35 EST

Wynn: Thank you for your honest answer about possible paperwork hassles. You gave very good advice about contacting the embassy ahead of time. Thank you for suggesting it as I think it's a fantastic idea to make sure I thoroughly know of all the paperwork I'll need to have with me. Obtaining that paperwork though will not be a problem.

After pondering all of the factors involved with relocating to Ecuador, I have determined that my biggest concern will be safety within Ecuador. I am wondering if there really is any safe town there that I can settle into and truly be safe walking around town during the day or just being safe at home without the danger of home invasion. As I previously mentioned, I'm vary fair with blond hair. I would truly stand out in appearance and I don't know if that would make us imminent targets of crime. I am very accustomed to living among different cultures and I love experiencing cultures and languages. I just don't want to put myself and my son in imminent danger.

Perhaps you have an idea of if there is any safe area in Ecuador for a gringo like me?

westwindcali
  4/24/2012 23:37 EST

I'd look pretty silly that way with my freckles showing through the fake tan. LOL

CoffeeSnob
  4/25/2012 01:31 EST

.

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JeremyG
  4/25/2012 10:37 EST

You asked: Perhaps you have an idea of if there is any safe area in Ecuador for a gringo like me?

Yes, there certainly are. Most of the crime you hear about is in Guayaquil, the largest city in Ecuador. I live in Vilcabamba, in town, and feel totally safe at all hours. The one case of assault in the last few years came when a young couple took a mountain trail that nobody in their right mind takes here, and were robbed. The few burglaries that happen are when nobody is home. Most crime here is real-estate fraud by gringos against gringos. ;-)
There are around 400 gringos here in a town of 4,000.

Even the provincial capital, Loja, pop about 300K, is pretty safe, probably safer than Hillsboro Oregon where I lived before. IMHO, crime here is vastly overrated.

westwindcali
  4/25/2012 18:18 EST

Jeremy: Thanks! I feel better now about it. I'll look into Vilcabamba and Loja. I don't going on the night scene so I have no plans on going out after dark. I'm just an at-home and daytime outdoors type of person.

I have family from Hillsboro, OR! What a small world.

Hey Jeremy, one question for you: are there any safe areas to ride a horse around Vilcabamba? I'd ideally like a house with some small very amount of land to keep a horse. Or be able to rent a horse. But it's not necessary. It would just be ideal. I'm a simple person. With a garden, a horse, and a small little place to reside (with internet connection) - I'd consider it paradise.

achiku
  4/25/2012 18:55 EST

Westwind...hiring or renting horses here in Ecuador is very inexpensive. From what I have heard from friends, there are lots of horses in Vilcabamba, my brother in law rode when he was there. Vilcabamba is way down at the southern part of Ecuador, almost to Peru. Cuenca is about in the 'middle' and we are north in Otavalo, 2.5 hours south of the Colombian border. We have 5 horses and offer free horsebackriding with a stay on our Ali Shungu Mountaintop Lodge. Just avoid the haciendas, and high end places, where they will charge alot for the riding.

It would be good for you to communicate with other people that have children. There are SO many blogs written by people that live here.....Here are just a few:

http://grimmstraveltales.blogspot.com/
http://danoinec.blogspot.com/
http://livingfrugalandhappy.blogspot.com/p/cuenca-living.html
http://www.gas2335.blogspot.com/
http://southofzero.wordpress.com/
http://www.holacuenca.com/
http://planetirony.blogspot.com
http://ourecuador.blogspot.com/
http://deanandbillsadventure.blogspot.com/
www.watsontravels.blogspot.com
http://bobnrox.squarespace.com
http://richandnancy.blogspot.com
http://cuencatechlife.wordpress.com/2012/03/23/news-360/
http://ecuador-expat.blogspot.com/search/label/links

Cuenca, which is a big city, but probably with the highest concentration of expats and would have good schools. I'm not sure about the Vilcabamba schools...and Vilca would be more remote...but best to talk with the folks down there, I think it is a good group of people. I know that there are lots of expat people in Cuenca who have kids...it might be a good social structure down there, and there are quite a few women alone raising their kids there.

I live 2.5 hours north of Quito...Cotacachi/Otavalo area and it is quiet up this way for the most part, but I'm not sure about the quality of schools in the area. The "foreign" schools in Quito are very expensive for the most part but are good ones. Again, there are families in Cotacachi, a small little town, that send their kids to the local schools. Cotacachi is a very clean little town...very small, about 20 min. from Otavalo.

I think that with a good expat social structure here, and the expats are pretty friendly to each other...and eventually getting to know the Ecuadorian families, esp. other ones with kids would be the best.

Being a single mother here, you will get alot of really good attention and help. Everyone here loves children and they really respect mothers who are donig it alone....expect lots of help from the locals!

There are the usual crime things to worry about. For example a lady who lives on the coast for quite a few years now, an expat, just had her laptop stolen from a bus. I would have thought that she would have known not to put anything in the overhead bin, as well, nothing ever under the seat...you do have to be more careful than in the states, and you would just have to learn the ropes.

There was a family of professionals and their 11 year daughter who came to Quito to live for a year. They kept a blog. They lost something like 7 cel phones and about 5 laptops, I think they may have had masters' degrees, but were naive about life here. People carry around their laptops in Quito NOT in the computer case, but instead in a inconsequential bag, like a supermarket bag.

I will not say that you will not be a mark, you will be one. It's just the way it is...But you may grow to love the place and find your special place. I highly recommend that you come down here for a couple of weeks at least and take a look around. Quito is a bigger city, lots of culture, good schools and activities there, and expats with kids there also, but it would be more scattered about and not as concentrated as some of the other 'expat' places.

Since I'm not a coastal person, I can't comment on life there, but again, schools would not be that great there, I would think.

JeremyG
  4/25/2012 19:13 EST

westwindcali: Yes, plenty of horses here, lots for rent and many owned by people in town. Someone is training one next to our house, by the quebrada (three blocks from the square), most mornings.

The one problem with horses can be feed; often people have places outside town where they can graze. But there are many in town too, so there's probably a good solution for that. And quite a few people, even gringos, live in places where you have to have a horse to get to your house, or walk.

Looking forward to seeing you when you visit Vilcabamba! ;-)

chargersfan
  4/25/2012 19:30 EST

I think you should consider Cuenca. Larger community with more ammenities and very safe. I moved here in April and love it.

DUNMOVN
  4/26/2012 04:42 EST

You might want to take a look at Loja. It's about 200k population, lower in altitude so its warmer. It's a very close knit society what welcomes strangers and very safe.

mickisue
  4/27/2012 01:16 EST

Keep in mind that DUNMOVN has never lived in EC, he's just visited.

Communicating with families with small kids would be a really good idea for you.

If you have sole legal custody of your kids, then you may want to have someone at the courthouse give you a notarized document to that effect.

I found out, to my dismay, at 5 am at the airport on the way to MX, that what I'd been told on the phone wasn't true: I needed not only my youngest's birth certificate (this was before ALL trips out of the country required a passport), but a notarized permission from his dad.

We had to wake up hung over dad, and wait an hour and a half for him to get to the airport, which was 15 minutes from his home.

To my everlasting gratitude, he signed the danged thing, and one of the ticket counter employees was a notary.

We'd been flying on separate planes, and luckily, there were seats available on my flight, which left later. DH and kids got their tickets changed, and off we went.

NOT the way to start a vacation, and surely not the way to start a new life.

OceanHideaway
  4/28/2012 01:51 EST

Speaking from the coast -- near Salinas -- I would be happy to give you a contact of a dear friend who speaks English quite well and could give you information about the bilingual school her kids attend.

There are also quite a feew horses here in the area of the Montubio peoples who are known for their riding skills.

As mentioned earlier, and this can;t be repeated enough -- come on down for a nice long visit and check out some of the areas that either are in high density gringo areas or near them. At least for the start to avoid total culture shock, it is good to be able to mix and mingle with other gringos and hear their stories (good and bad).

Plus your child is going to have a LOT of stand in grandparents -- !

Ecuador kids are also fascinated by kids from other areas and if your child plays soccer even better.

And don't change a thing about your appearance -- it's kind of fun being 'exotic" for a change!

Come visit soon!

Susan
TheOceanHideaway.com

westwindcali
  4/28/2012 20:37 EST

Hi Susan,

Thanks for the great post. I think as far as school is concerned, I would rather send my son to a 100% Spanish-speaking school for the sake of learning the language by immersion. Some public schools in Southern California offer immersion language classes for children where the children are taught in 100% foreign language. Studies of those pilot programs show that those children, by the end of the year, do not suffer academically and successfully learn a foreign language quickly. Kids are so adaptable, it's amazing. Or, I can just homeschool him. I think homeschooling is fantastic. I taught my son how to read at age 3 and found teaching my son to be very fun.

Another plus of being in Ecuador, as a parent, would be soccer for my little boy. He would LOVE it, although he is not very athletic but the training would be good for him and for him to socialize too. I'll be sure to enroll my son in soccer in our city very soon to get him started on the game. He's been asking me to enroll him in soccer for the last 2 years. Perhaps now is a good time. He is 5 years old. And, he wants to learn guitar and I think Ecuador would be a great place for that too. Plus, we mainly eat fresh fruits and veggies. We rarely buy anything packaged. And so, maybe I am just really meant to be an expat!!!

I keep thinking about horseback riding for me as an ideal activity. It's one of my favorite things to do. I'd be really excited to find a place to live where I could go horseback riding weekly and inexpensively (Southern California recreation is expensive!)

Initially, I was trying to assess if Ecuador would even be safe (South American just sounds notoriously dangerous but I suppose popular media has misled me). Now that I want to visit, I don't know which areas to look at! I suppose as many as I can! I'm interested in Cuenca, Quito, Loja and possibly some coastal cities. The problem with the coast is that I sunburn very fast on the beach. I live 20 minutes from the Pacific Ocean currently and 20 minutes away is far enough to not burn too badly. I'm afraid of being right on the ocean. For some reason, I sunburn too fast along the beach, faster than inland. I have no idea why it is that way but am sure of it.

Do you know if the UV index in the Andes is higher?

mickisue
  4/29/2012 00:44 EST

Anytime you are near water, you will burn faster, as you get both the sunlight and the glare off the water. (Says she whose summer colors are white, burned, peeling or freckled.)

If you want some balance in your views of other countries, look at the warnings issued to citizens of other places, about visiting the US.

TomKat
  4/29/2012 01:15 EST

Have you tried The Bronx?

Lekitanin
  4/29/2012 22:10 EST

@westwindcall
Possibly I missed something but how do you plan about getting permanent residency in Ecuador? Did you figure this out already? Your main concern is safety and where to settle and if horses are readily available. You can not stay in Ecuador on a tourist visa forever, you know that, don't you?

OceanHideaway
  4/30/2012 11:05 EST

@ westwindcali: Sun... be aware this iS the equator, and that sun is strong whether you are near the beach or at a higher altitude (though there is cloud cover at certain levels and places like Cuenca have a daily rain shower) As a fellow red-burn frecled type, I just stay out of the sun between about 11 and 3 -- and have rarely had a problem. Do use UVA/B protection anyway -- at least 30 -- just for safety sake as you should with a fair skin tone. And surprisingly, your body will adjust and pick up a golden glow (not a dark tan by any imagination) that still surprises me when I see photos -- I've never been this color before (and no it's not jaundice... I actually checked!) So don't discard the coast -- Do come check things out.

Also if you have a chance speak with Silverwater (Dana cameron) who is not only raising her kids here and homeschooling them, but is a professor in Guayaquil and a blonde for some 1st person experience on raising kids abroad.

@ TomKat ~ da Bronx? whatcha got against da Bronx???

Susan
TheOceanHideaway.com

OrganicMom
  3/28/2015 00:03 EST

I'm curious, westwindcali, did you ever move to Ecuador with your son? Was it difficult? Are you still there? Can you recommend the safest place, preferably with other single expat moms?

shawnnn
  3/28/2015 10:53 EST

The answer to this question is simple.

You are always safe until you are not. Wrong place wrong time you are not safe.

Generally the bad guys are looking for Gringos in gringo shirts with gold chains and fake rolexes.

Sueetta
  3/28/2015 11:46 EST

I believe most places here are as safe or safer than in the US, if that is what you are asking. One has to be cautious anywhere and there are always bad people and bad areas of any town/city so same awareness is necessary but don't believe Ecuador is a dangerous place to live. I live in Cuenca and find it quite wonderful with only common crimes are pickpocketing and theft but violent crimes are rare. Find it safer than US cities of the same size, actually. Culturally you may find yourself taken financially advantage of if not aware and careful as all Gringos are considered wealthy and by income standards here, we are.

ronwatral
  3/28/2015 20:49 EST

SUETTE...RON...come on down. Orlando is ten times more safe...( wink, wink ) we only have one or two murders a day/ night...of ocurse that's during the week....vs Chicago which has more people killed per day than: Afganistan..or iRAQ...OR YEMEN...OR LIBIA...and SYRIA, added together. I guess "toe dancers" don't make good mayors. You'll be just fine in any city in EC. Just pretend you're walking down any street in NYC or Chicago....and you'll do just fine.

Pilot26MV
  3/28/2015 21:45 EST

My experience traveling with children. We have gone to Ecuador twice, Columbia, Haiti, and Jamaica to mention just a few countries with at ages 2 -5. We adopted our daughter in retirement so look more like grandparents them her parents. We have never once had to even provide any documents to board a plan. We sail thru customs they usually ask her one or two questions, she has never meet a stranger and is quite talkative which maybe why.

We carry all the needed papers adoption, birth certificate, passport of course because you never know when it will be needed. I have been shocked though that we never get any question, she doesn't even have to show her passport to board the plane. When I have tried to show it, they just say she is to young and they don't need it.

While this makes travel easier it is a little scary to think how easy it has been to take her anywhere.

This is just what we have experienced, and are still baffled by it.

livefreebstrong
  3/28/2015 21:53 EST

Pilate, that is indeed very scary. Thanks for the information.

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