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a chaplain's observation

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melissa1984

6/26/2013 11:56 EST

Hello to you all. I have lived in Egypt on and off for many years as well as other countries in the middle east. I perform many marriages and my husband and I try to keep up with the wonderful folks we meet. That means, that we have a bird's eye view of long term marriages or the lack thereof.
We all know marriage is or can be a bumpy ride. We have seen some heartbreaking scenarios in Egypt and the difference is that the courts will not support a woman in most instances. I will not say never marry, but I will say that I have married about 30
couples where the woman is American or British and the man is Egyptian. Two of those marriages have lasted more than 5 years. We have a 50 percent divorce rate in America, so I don't need to tell you how much worse these numbers are. And because all Egyptian laws favor the men, please be smart and do your homework.
Go on-line to see just how many restraints a western woman will suffer from and you will be shocked. The embassies educate these women as best they can but as they say "love is blind" and from reading some posts that fact is crystal clear.

I know I will receive a rant from one or two, but I feel it only fair to share my experience with you.

God bless, and be smart.

Even amongst the more educated couples, physical violence is accepted, and again once you have children your rights narrow considerably.

Egypt is magical, but be forwarned about the challenges you will meet should you marry an Egyptian man.

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lionking2013

6/28/2013 08:56 EST

Don't worry, Melissa1984! No rants! Just the facts Madam! :-) So, you are comparing the statistics for the divorce rate of 50% in the United States, the population of which now exceeds 300 millions, to the divorce rate of 30 couples for whom you claim you performed marriages! Is there something wrong with the objectivity of the statistics here?! I am sure your friends on the forums (or invented friends, if I may say) will support you on this one, as well. Also, in another forum, invented by you, you claim that a Chaplin sent a message to you that you graciously volunteered to put on the Forum, and that he/she wanted to remain anonymous. Aren't we all having anonymous names on this and other forums?!! What would have prevented this so called Chaplin from posting his/her views if his/her views were accurate and intended to help others?!! Melissa1984, I have my sincere doubts about your intentions and motivation. In fact, I have my sincere doubts about whether you are what you claim to be, and whether you haven't assumes other identities on this or other forums to spread a message, contrary to what you characterized as "Egypt is magical." All you have said proves the complete opposit. Anyway, here is the good news, I will no longer be responding to your messages on this or other forums, since your negativity can be infectious, and I am no longer willing to sink into a level where I would rather not be. Go ahead, spread you holly messages about ALL Egyptians men and about your experience with your so called boyfriend, HAMDI. You might find the support that satisfies your ego. However, the truth may be out there with those who have had different experiences than you. I can imagine there are more than 30 Egyptian/Foreign couples that may have had different views than yours. In a couple of days, I will begin my extended journy to Cairo, Sharm, Alexandria and Luxor. No time for negativity!

I would encourage foreign women and men to seek information directly from their respective embassies. The embassies may provide objective sources of information about what to avoid and enjoy seeing when visiting Egypt. Being informed is your best tool for self-protection. I wouldn't rely on information presented in this or other forums becaues such information may be tinted with certain people's subjectivity and personal motives, even if they claim to be working for the "Embassy" of a country, under the name of TUTFAN (or whatever). For all we know, this could be Melissa1984, assuming a different identify, or friends of her. Embassies representing most European and American countries usually have official websites that warn their people of any potential danger in a country visited by their citizens.

The Egyptian people are good, generous and decent people who will welcome you with open arms, with sincerity and kindness. However, as in any society, there is the good, bad and ugly. Be smart and make the right decisions to avoid the bad and ugly to the best you can. Ultimately, if you travel abroad, you should be intellectually informed enough to make your own intelligent decisions and you would not need someone, like Melissa1984, to make the decisions for you.

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CasualCairo

From: Egypt

6/28/2013 09:10 EST

Please Melissa, DO NOT take the bait. He's trolling for you, and if you leave it this time, maybe we will all get lucky and he'll live up to his promise - "Anyway, here is the good news, I will no longer be responding to your messages on this or other forums", we can all move on.

Peace!

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elhelm2002

6/29/2013 03:54 EST

"" The Egyptian people are good, generous and decent people who will welcome you with open arms, with sincerity and kindness. However, as in any society, there is the good, bad and ugly. Be smart and make the right decisions to avoid the bad and ugly to the best you can.""
Thank you, lionking2013

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Amazer

6/29/2013 08:17 EST

Well said!

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