namos
3/14/2015 08:48 EST
I came across this page coincidentally, and after reading all the stories I am quite concerned about my relationship with a young Egyptian man who is 21. I'm from England,, and I am a muslim. I went on holiday to Egypt hurghada, when I met him for the first time. He was a lifeguard at the hotel I stayed in for 2 weeks. On my first day, he seen me and was quite attracted to me. He came upto me and asked my name, age, and were I am from. I answered him but I didn't really pay any attention to him qt all. On the second day he said that he wants to meet me but because I was with my family I couldn't , and he got annoyed for 2 days. But in them 2 days he made eye contact and tried to talk to me but I avoided him. Whilst I was there I had a major accident were I had to have an operation, and stayed in hospital for a day. When he found out he quickly rushed to my sister and asked wot happened to me and wot hospital I was admitted in as he wanted to come and see me. But neither of them new which hospital I was in so he couldn't come. When I came back to the hotel he kept on looking at me to see how I was, and he asked my family how I was and told them to take proper care of me and not to let me run around anywhere. He wad really worried about me, and for next 2 days he always kept on asking my dad and sister how I was. We always maintained eye contact, and spoke once to each other. Wen he spoke to me I felt like he is the one for me. He really cared about about me so I had started to develop feelings for him. On my last day, he was really upset and didn't want me to go, so he came behind me to my room and he spoke to m. He wad really emotional. He even wrote a letter for me but I wasn't able to get it off him as I was with my family all the time.
When I came back to England, we started talking, he told me everything about him, his family etc... And I thought yeh he is perfect. He made me many promises, he never asked me for money, visa etc.. It has now been 6 months we have been talking, but in them months my parents have found out ive been talking to him and they told me to cut all ties with him. But I didn't listen to them as I really love him, so I carried on. Then later they found out again and were quite upset about. But I still did not listen to them and carried on talking to him. With my parents not agreeing with our relationship, I'm really confused. Because I don't want to leave him and I don't want to leave my family. He is not a typical Egyptian guy who would leave me for money because he is not like that he is trustworthy. Know we just hope to be together soon. :(
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melissa1984
3/14/2015 15:22 EST
your parents know more than a young woman in love. you think he is great but the men in the tourist areas are professionals at seducing foreign women. trust your parents not this guy who is probably had lots of women and is a pro at chasing women. It sounds harsh but be smart and follow your head not your heart. Oh and u did not mention your age. Is he younger than you. That is the pattern. There are exceptions, but not many and I would listen to the overwhelming majority of folks who have been where you are. Good luck and take care of your heart.
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namos
3/14/2015 15:28 EST
I'm 19. I know wot your saying is right, many of my friends said the same. But, ive spoken to his sister too and wot his sister has said to me, and wot he has told me, I feel that he is not that type of men who leave women for money etc. He told me that he had never ever had anyone in his life before and even his sister said that he's not had anyone before.
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melissa1984
3/14/2015 23:36 EST
They get their whole family involved. Believe me, it is too soon to ask for money but the economy is terrible in Egypt and even the nice guys
prey on vulnerable women. a woman's life in Egypt is beyond hard. Being in the house MOsTLY, being confined and treated at first like a queen and then not so well, that is the norm. Nice, sweet, charming, until he has you. Listen to your parents, get a good education and forget this guy. It is romantic, exotic and fun....but not in the long run.
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namos
3/15/2015 05:57 EST
He is kind of serious about our relationship cos he told his parents about me. He told them he loves me so much and wants to be with me for the rest of his life. Even if we do get married I don't think I will stay on Egypt anyway, I would live in England bit nit with my parents. We will do everything of our own. Thanks for taking your time to reply by the way :)
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melissa1984
3/15/2015 10:50 EST
Do you realize that if you marry him you cannot leave Egypt without his permission and if you have a child that child basically belongs to him. He can also have other wives. What in the world are you talking marriage with a guy you hardly know but this is what men do in Egypt. They talk marriage immediately and he will never ever get a visa to live in England. Arab men are not welcome and how would you support yourself in England? Unfair as it is,he not be able to live in England and if you move to Egypt your life as you know it is over. And the British Embassy will NOT help you as they have seen this over and over and simply do not have the manpower to help one more woman who made a big mistake. I know you feel he is unique, you are unique and this "love" is unique. None of it is. It is simply one more story with a bad ending,. Hard to believe you'd trust this man you barely know more than your parents who really do have YOUR best interests at heart.
Wake up and remember that all the sweet words cannot undo the reality of the life you would be facing.
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melissa1984
3/15/2015 10:58 EST
Do you realize that if you marry him you cannot leave Egypt without his permission and if you have a child that child basically belongs to him. He can also have other wives. What in the world are you talking marriage with a guy you hardly know but this is what men do in Egypt. They talk marriage immediately and he will never ever get a visa to live in England. Arab men are not welcome and how would you support yourself in England? Unfair as it is,he not be able to live in England and if you move to Egypt your life as you know it is over. And the British Embassy will NOT help you as they have seen this over and over and simply do not have the manpower to help one more woman who made a big mistake. I know you feel he is unique, you are unique and this "love" is unique. None of it is. It is simply one more story with a bad ending,. Hard to believe you'd trust this man you barely know more than your parents who really do have YOUR best interests at heart.
Wake up and remember that all the sweet words cannot undo the reality of the life you would be facing.
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namos
3/16/2015 08:40 EST
How can we be so biased towards Egyptian men anyway? Not all are the same... Its not as if I'm really older than him. We both are young, I'm 19 and he's 21, only 2 years older than me. They dont all do it for visa etc. In those 2 weeks ive got to know much about him, and ive gotten to know everything about him from his sister and him himself! Maybe your right maybe your wrong, but all im saying is we shouldn't be so judgemental toward Egyptian men.
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MagnumJoe
3/20/2015 21:04 EST
Namos, sweety, i am 31 years old egyptian man.
You need to understand something.
Even if he had no bad intentions, believe me, 90% of people's upbringing in egypt makes them emotionally unstable, immature, selfish, and abusive. This is just how it is.
A lifeguard in egypt is NOT like a lifeguard in the UK.
Here in egypt because of some social and economic composition, a lifeguard is a job for someone who has no job and no career, no educational background, and poor culture.
You will say i am being judgmental. Maybe i am. But i can guarantee to you that 99% of lifeguards in egypt has this composition.
You will in turn ask:"What is education good for?"
Education doesn't mean he has a college degree. Education means that he can read and write, and is culturally exposed to different people and ideas or not? Education means communication and open mindedness. It means being able to understand and appreciate your differences, and understanding your own views in thus world. Believe me, the moment you'll talk in a serious subject he'll fail miserably!
He is living a completely different life with a completely different code of ethics which does not match his beliefs. People in egypt have a dissociation between their belief and practicing it because of social stigma.
Just try to think this one please. Leave your emotions aside, i beg you!
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