Expat Exchange
Free MembershipSign In

Egypt Expat Forum

Change

New Topic Newest First
Anjee1
  10/29/2015 19:08 EST

I met my husband in Sharm 5 years ago, yes he is younger by 10yrs - I fell in love because I loved how openly he spoke about God and I loved God - little did I realise it is used many without thought - however when he swore by Allah and his mother of coarse I believed him - I fell pregnant after a year but prior to this I had found out many lies and the relationship started going downhill. Everything I did was expected not appreciated paying for everything, taking every holiday to be with him and not my son, working 12hour shifts to give him money when he would work 5 or 6 max and smoke hash all through his waking hours. I had read all the stories but believed he was different. I eventually started to only give him enough rope to hang himself, I stopped paying and I stopped going and he never offered any help - after many problems with trust in general and women, I decided to try again last October lo and behold he had been having a 3 month affair and the last affair he begged my forgiveness and I pretended he had it until I was safe in my own country as some Egyptians told me to be very careful of my daughter and not to cause any problems in his home town because I could get killed without anyone ever knowing anything. They were the same people who told me to stop paying for things because he had more than he was saying and if he loved me he would provide for us. However to cut a long story short, I have a daughter who lives with me in the UK we have not returned to Egypt in a year and the truth is, I am to afraid to return due to the many dreadful stories I have read and the rights I could lose due to Egypts judicial system. My husband never supported us or helped with anything towards his daughter- he once told me "that is what the British government are for ......."I have caught him cheating on me several times. After finding naked photographs on his phone of him and another woman on my last visit, I decided I couldn't take anymore - shortly after this my teenage son died, the same boy who watched his mother get destroyed, lied to, and afraid for her life last year. Anyway my dilemma is that since I have not returned and everything in my life is still a mess with my son gone - he is now telling me has changed and loves me etc etc but I think if he loved me, none of his treatment towards me would have ever occurred and people around ME say he just wants his daughter and will go to any lengths as he has done before with swearing by Allah And his mother but in fact it was all blatant lies. I want my daughter to see her father and I want to believe him and forgive him for everything but he is always high, I could lose all rights over her and maybe even risk her getting kidnapped because I have stayed away a year. He has sent some money recently for tickets but that just made me feel worse because why hasn't he ever before ??? I wonder if change is possible.

wafa
  10/30/2015 01:47 EST

NO NO NO and NO he will NOT & HAS NOT changed!!!

You owe it to yourself and especially to your daughter to have a worry free, stress free and predictable life which you will NEVER have with this man and, sorry to say, you are exhibiting all the signs and characteristics of an emotionally abused woman.

He has hurt you severely. He has broken trust with you and then ground it into the dirt along with all your emotions and all along you kept in touch with him and allowed him to do this to you. You need to break it all off. Everything and NOW. No more phone calls, no more text messages, no more emails - break it off completely and fully and mean it. You owe it to yourself and your daughter.

Give your child what she deserves and that is NOT a relationship with a man who uses drugs and steals from women. He obviously never valued either of you before, doesn't sound like any parent child bond was ever formed and I highly doubt he is going to look at her as his child now. She would only be a commodity to use to get money or whatever from you.

There are lots of stories on here from women who have been ripped off by their Egyptian lovers, husbands and boyfriends. This man is a predator and you are his prey and he is going to do anything in his power to control you and suck you dry and take take and take from you.

Ask yourself - if he would do this to you why would he not do it to your daughter? If he needs money how do you know he would not prostitute your child? You want to even chance this?

You've been severely burned once, twice, thrice and you would even think to go back again? IMO you need a strong support group and counselling. You need to do whatever is in your power to ensure your daughter is safe and that is NOT exposing her to the sperm donor who created her.

Culturally he is VERY different and I'm not even going to go into explanations. Suffice this man is NOT going to ever 'love you' as you think he should. He is NOT husband and especially NOT father material. You are only a money source and he will say anything to keep the money coming in his direction. Do yourself and your child a huge favour, be a responsible parent and cut it off immediately with this man NOW!!!

GeoBlueGeoBlue
Get Quote

GeoBlue is a trusted leader in international health insurance. Wherever your destination, GeoBlue can keep you and your family covered with the right health insurance. Get a GeoBlue Quote Today!

GeoBlueGeoBlue

GeoBlue is a trusted leader in international health insurance. Wherever your destination, GeoBlue can keep you and your family covered with the right health insurance. Get a GeoBlue Quote Today!
Get Quote

CasualCairo
  10/30/2015 03:06 EST

Your best reply to him sending that money would be to send a picture of something totally useless you can tell him.you bought with the money and tell him to stick it where the sun don't shine.

You have to know deep down, 1) the money he sent you was given to him by another woman he is playing, 2) he has other children by other women and 3) he doesn't love anyone but himself. He's a toad to stay away from.

Stay away. Don't ever let him see your daughter until she is an adult and hopefully your life lessons won't be lost on her. Tell her the truth eventually about how you were taken advantage of and you never want her to follow in those same footsteps. When she is old enough to defend herself, then she can decide on her own if that relationship is one she wants to pursue.

Sorry about your son but don't stress yourself further by keeping any relationship going with this looser.

CasualCairo
  10/30/2015 05:33 EST

Your best reply to him sending that money would be to send a picture of something totally useless you can tell him.you bought with the money and tell him to stick it where the sun don't shine.

You have to know deep down, 1) the money he sent you was given to him by another woman he is playing, 2) he has other children by other women and 3) he doesn't love anyone but himself. He's a toad to stay away from.

Stay away. Don't ever let him see your daughter until she is an adult and hopefully your life lessons won't be lost on her. Tell her the truth eventually about how you were taken advantage of and you never want her to follow in those same footsteps. When she is old enough to defend herself, then she can decide on her own if that relationship is one she wants to pursue.

Sorry about your son but don't stress yourself further by keeping any relationship going with this looser.

CasualCairo
  10/30/2015 05:34 EST

Your best reply to him sending that money would be to send a picture of something totally useless you can tell him.you bought with the money and tell him to stick it where the sun don't shine.

You have to know deep down, 1) the money he sent you was given to him by another woman he is playing, 2) he has other children by other women and 3) he doesn't love anyone but himself. He's a toad to stay away from.

Stay away. Don't ever let him see your daughter until she is an adult and hopefully your life lessons won't be lost on her. Tell her the truth eventually about how you were taken advantage of and you never want her to follow in those same footsteps. When she is old enough to defend herself, then she can decide on her own if that relationship is one she wants to pursue.

Sorry about your son but don't stress yourself further by keeping any relationship going with this looser.

melissa1984
  10/30/2015 19:33 EST

Actually i smell a rat. Actions speak volumes. He wants your daughter and knows if he plays it right, your daughter is his. That is if u return to egypt. His family may be involved in this. Remember you have no rights regarding her if you are on egyptian soil. If she wants to see him, that can happen when she is 21. It is your job to protect her and there is no good that will come from a trip to egypt. Remember egypt is a patriarchy and women and children are without a voice. Be strong. You know the deal.

GeoBlueGeoBlue
Get Quote

GeoBlue is a trusted leader in international health insurance. Wherever your destination, GeoBlue can keep you and your family covered with the right health insurance. Get a GeoBlue Quote Today!

GeoBlueGeoBlue

GeoBlue is a trusted leader in international health insurance. Wherever your destination, GeoBlue can keep you and your family covered with the right health insurance. Get a GeoBlue Quote Today!
Get Quote

wafa
  10/30/2015 19:56 EST

I totally agree with what Melissa1984 is saying. All 'round this is a bad, VERY bad situation that you need to extricate yourself from. This man is a LIAR, a CHEAT, a WOMANIZER, a DRUG ADDICT and on and on.

Ask yourself - would you take your daughter downtown to the lowest slums and introduce her to the street addicts that rip off anybody they can? And then leave THEM to make decisions about HER? That is what you'll be doing IF you take your child to Egypt AND you will have absolutely NO ABILITY to stop any decisions or actions concerning her once you and her are there.

How can you be assured your (ahem) husband/boyfriend/significant other doesn't want to sell her into a marriage with an older man? How can you be assured he or his mother won't subject her to circumcision? How can you PROTECT YOUR DAUGHTER?

Cut all ties with this low life NOW.

Anjee1
  10/31/2015 04:39 EST

Thank you all so much for your help, I appreciate the time each of you have taken to write. Like you say deep down we all know what we have to do regardless of how difficult it may be.

wafa
  10/31/2015 12:57 EST

Hi Anjee1 - We know YOU know what you need to do however when situations like your arise typically the man (or abusing partner) has isolated and wore down their victim (YOU). It makes it easier for them to manipulate and control as YOU, their victim, are too emotionally abused, confused, tired, upset etc to make good decisions on your own.

This man has put you on an emotional roller coaster for years now. He has created doubt and hope in you but really it is all false.

You need to get yourself strong and that means getting away totally and completely from him for a LONG (as in several year) period of time. You need to get yourself a solid support system to talk to so that when temptation comes back you're strong enough NOT to answer the phone, NOT to read the test.

Men like this one desperately NEED you for your money and for everything YOU will provide to them. They will take take and take some more and believe me they do NOT care in the least for you. They are all about them.

Make the break so you can have peace and predictability and you will become emotionally strong so you can SEE this low life for what he is.

Best of luck to you.

CasualCairo
  11/1/2015 01:11 EST

Good going Anjee1 - Keep going in that direction. Come back and read these responses as often as need be to help.

YOU GO GIRL!!! Keep you and your daughter safe.

melissa1984
  11/1/2015 23:58 EST

Good job. See, you smelled the rat too and rose to the occassion. He does not get to take anything else from u. Heart closed for business. Brain and judgement fully engaged.

GeoBlue
GeoBlue

Top-quality coverage for people who live, work, study and travel internationally.
Get Quote

GeoBlueGeoBlue

Top-quality coverage for people who live, work, study and travel internationally.
Get Quote

Living in Egypt GuideLiving in Egypt Guide

Guide to Living in Egypt covering expat life, local culture, finding a home, diversity and more.

Egypt Forum Egypt Forum
Join our Egypt forum to meet other expats and talk about living in Egypt.

Contribute to Egypt Network Contribute
Help other expats and newcomers by answering questions about the challenges and adventures of living in Egypt.

Best Places to Live in Egypt Best Places to Live in Egypt

If you're dreaming about living in Egypt, here are the 15 Best Places to Live in Egypt in 2023.

Expat Healthcare Advice in Egypt96 Expats Talk about Healthcare & Health Insurance in Egypt

Expats living in Egypt talk about their own experiences with healthcare, hospital visits, emergencies, finding a doctor, buying health insurance in Egypt and more.

Cost of Living in EgyptCost of Living in Egypt

Expats offer insight into the cost of living in Egypt.

Moving to EgyptMoving to Egypt Guide

Our guide to moving to Egypt with lots of advice from expats on the ground.

Real Estate in EgyptReal Estate in Egypt

Real estate listings in popular cities and towns in Egypt.

Pros Cons of Living in EgyptPros & Cons of Living in Egypt

Take off your rose-colored glasses and learn what expats have to say about the biggest challenges and the greatest rewards of living in Egypt.

Retiring in EgyptRetiring in Egypt

Advice for people retiring in Egypt.

GeoBlue
GeoBlue

Top-quality coverage for people who live, work, study and travel internationally.
Get Quote

GeoBlueGeoBlue

Top-quality coverage for people who live, work, study and travel internationally.
Get Quote

Contribute to Egypt Network Contribute
Help others in Egypt by answering questions about the challenges and adventures of living in Egypt.

AGS Worldwide Movers
AGS Worldwide Movers

Copyright 1997-2024 Burlingame Interactive, Inc.

Privacy Policy Legal