" While I was in the states last week I picked up a book called _French_Or_Foe?_ because I''m moving to France next week. I''ve been slowly getting to know the French culture over the last year because my boyfriend is French, but I felt I needed an American perspective. It''s really an eye-opening book for those of us with romantic notions of France. It also explains why it seems so hard to find a job in France (because it is). The book is rather Paris-centric (I hope ^.^), but I''m moving to the Nice area where I''ve found that people are friendly and easy-going. I''ve already met most of my boyfriend''s friends and family and now i''m perpetually scanning my memory for any horrible mistakes i''ve made. I would suggest reading the book if you have any desire to go to France. I can''t remember the author at the moment, but if I remember to, i''ll post it. "

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" Hi, I think French or Foe is an excellent books, but I have to warn everyone first. I think you are wise in seeing for yourself how people really are and not just assuming ALL french people are like this book says. I enjoyed reading it myself (after several years here) but I know exactly what I can take with a grain of salt. First, you should know that Polly Platt is talking about a very specific sector of society. Your average middle-class person is often NOT anything like the book says! I''ve even asked French friends about some of the etiquette in there in they''ve never heard of it. But it''s good to be aware. I''ve also been told that Polly Platt has never actually worked in France herself. Don''t know if that''s true, though. One thing that makes me laugh is how she says people at work NEVER go out for a drink. haha! She never saw my office! Everything here is a cause to celebrate. Every birthday or whatever is time to get an ""apero"" at lunch time. Also, I think she says, as strict etiquette does, that if you are invited to dinner you should always send flowers ahead of time and always white flowers. Well, I can tell you many french friends have brought me flowers with them and never white. So what does this mean? I say it''s always safest to be as polite as possible and then see how specific French people react. If you have French friends that bring your flowers or wine when you invite them, then you know it''s perfectly alright to do the same. Oh, and if you do go to someone''s house for dinner you actually CAN use the bathroom. Please! Finally, I just want to warn those coming here for the first time that maybe they should not read this book immediately. I know many people have told me it scared them off. But definitely read it after you''ve been here awhile or have known actual French people. Oh, off my soap box now. Diana "

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" I cannot agree enough. After university I went to Grenoble for French studies. I visited Paris many times and one of the nicest people I found was the ticket booth of one of the metro stations. He was happy to tell me that Trocadero was closest to the Eiffel Tower. After Grenoble, I went to Geneva, met my future husband who did not speak English and I spoke very little Spanish. We dated in French almost two years. I say all this because when Paris came up to live I was loaned French or Foe. I read it and told my husband no way. We dropped it for a year and then it came up again and I decided that I would take a chance. I have French friends where we live now and when I told them what the book said they got angry, saying it just wasn''t true. There are rude people everywhere and my worst stories do not involve anyone French. I have been in French homes to eat and stay a week and I felt at home. I could go on but I won''t. Beware of that book as well as other works by the same author. If you hear a note of impatience in this note it is because that book caused me to lose a year of not wanting to move to Paris when it is now obvious to me what a good change it is for our family. "

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" I''m lucky that I have a french boyfriend who can verify what polly says in her book. As I was reading passages to him, his most often comment was ""what''s that connerie?"". The book is rather intimidating, but you can get a better sense of the applicability of it when you read the end where she describes how french people see americans. Also, she does like to do a bit of name and title dropping in one chapter. Even so, many of the things she says are true especially about how the french are educated, the hierarchical nature of business, and the difficulty in interacting with the government. So far, all of the french people I have met have only been very kind to me, even the government officials in their stern, stoic way (except that girl who nearly ran into me in the street and called me ''pouffe''. "

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