Hi there,

You have raised three points here - your nostalgic attachment to your native city, your fiance's aversion to relocation outside her comfort zones, and your attempt to persuade your fiance to relocate to Mumbai.

Is Mumbai a good city or a bad city? The answer to this question is tricky, to say the least. :-) And the response will depend on who you are asking. For every person who finds the city's pubs and nightlife vibrant, there is another person who has lost a relative in either last monsoon's downpour or in some terrorist bomb blast. This holds true for any city for that matter. Therefore it is a very individual experience, which I think would be good for your fiance if she builds it on her own.

I would perhaps suggest the marriage and the relocation be handled separately. Perhaps the two of you can keep visiting Mumbai as tourists, and let her form her own opinions about the city. Over time, the two of you could take a decision as a couple on whether the city really suits both of you or not. (Quite possibly, over time, you may become revulsed to the city, while she may fall in love with it!)

Hth, and all the best to both of you, :-)

Sanjay.

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I agree with sanjay. The answers you get will be depending on who is answering. I am an American who lives in Pune. It is a tough transition from US to India. I can totally understand how she might be afraid. I agree that she should come here few times to visit, then decide if she wants to live here or not. It will be difficult for her because of the traffic, pollution, just the overall lifestyle. I know some British people that live here and the wife said that after 3 yrs she feels like this is her home. I have been coming and going for that past 8 yrs and I am hoping it doesn't take me 3 yrs to get that feeling. We have moved to Pune just a couple months ago and I get frustrated with everything. But hopefully after we buy a place and get it all decorated to our liking, things will become mellow and will start to enjoy it here.

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The two answers you received are very precise. I agree with them wholeheartedly. But take your time deciding.
good luck

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