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Leaving Family Behind

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KNair

2/16/2016 11:54 EST

I don't really know what to do, I have lived in England my entire life, back in 2008 I met my now husband while he was working here. We visted India in 2013 and I absolutly loved it, espically Kerala. In 2014 we have a child which his family has never had the chance to meet, and now my husband is constantly saying we should move to India, as life here in the UK (as you may know) is expensive and hard.
I have only been out of the UK twice, both times for holiday, for a grand total of a month.
Im very close to my family, and my dad is recovering from a type of cancer that will eventually come back.
If we were to move, most of my family would not be able to afford to come out, and those that could afford to can't because of medical issues.
As i said im very close to my family, and its a big one, 3 sisters, 1 brother and 19 nieces and nephews.
The part of India my husband wants us to move to, Nagpur, is nice enough, and the people are lovely, but im struggling to learn Hindi and while i was there i did not see a single western person there.
I am currently a Law student, if we were to leave i would have to leave my dream carer behind, and the only thing im qualified for and experienced in is retail.
I really would love to go but i dont want to be isolated, and i dont want that for our daughter either.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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karenSueJoy

2/16/2016 12:24 EST

Don't do it! The laws of India are completely in favor of men over woman or at least Indian fathers over non-Indian mothers. I lived in India for a short time and met a woman there (American) who's husband (Indian) wanted the same thing. After they got there they separated and now she is stuck in legal and emotional hell. In addition to the laws, the culture there is just overwhelming for expats. I've lived in many countries and the family is more important in India than anyplace I've lived and you will never get out from under his family. The cards are just too stacked against you as a foreigner, and to some extent a woman. Don't take my word for it - do some further research. And good luck! Karen

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KNair

2/16/2016 15:38 EST

i have been told the same thing by someone else, thank you karen :)

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lavendersky

2/17/2016 02:18 EST

I agree to an extent with Karen Sue Joy
After reading ,the fact you have to ask means you are seriously questioning leaving your family behind it is a massive step to live in India and very very different from the one month you have already spent ,and you are close to your own family and with your dad not well i would be the same,dont go,take a trip out there and visit his family,see if you would cope ,look into all the things you need, to see if they are availableyou would be made very welcomed by his family,but would you be able to cope long term ?
I love India ( am British ) and the people and like the family way and if i could would go and live there tomorrow as the uk is a mess ,but unfortunately cant at at the moment ,but you have to feel you can fit in or you would be miserable,there are also visa rules etc that come into it,this takes time,could you give me a contact mail so i can write in more details thanks-Liz

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