tinker03
8/17/2009 23:15 EST
im moving to ic to marry.any sugestions on things i need to know for living in abidjan..thank you for any help...
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Toma
8/20/2009 08:53 EST
Hi there!
My name is Tamara, I've been living in Abidjan for 2 years now.
Life in Abidjan should be absolutely fine for you as long as you speak french or going to learn it fast. Its hard to get a job in companies but you can always go for English teaching jobs. There are lots of foreigners living here, including those from the US.
As for marrying the Ivorian, I can only talk from the experience of some russian women living and married to them. Most of their marriages are unhappy mostly because of the family issues. Its hard to accept the african mentality and their way of living. The Ivorian husbands tend to abuse and in some cases exploit their foreign wifes, their family opinion matters much more than their wifes'. You can hear lots of terrible stories how the foreign women survive in those african families. Of course not all have the same situation, but I would just advice to first come and see how is it here and probably than make a decision whether this life for you or not. :) Life is absolutely not easy here.
If you need more info or have some questions, dont hesitate to ask.
Best regards,
Tamara
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tinker03
8/20/2009 22:59 EST
thank you so much for the information. anything that you think will help me in my decision would be so appreciated..i have read so many differnt thigs im confused....
thanks again..tinker03
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tinker03
8/20/2009 23:08 EST
my name is cheryl and i would like to know if you like living in abidjan .... i do know that life is not easy there...im middle aged women and i would like to know anything about abidjan and the people and african culture...thank you..tinker03
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Toma
8/24/2009 12:14 EST
hi Cheryl! :)
Abidjan is a very big city, there are about 4mln people living here. There is a nice downtown where most offices are, the nightlife is concentrated in Zone 4. There you will find posh restaurants, night clubs, salons, sport centers, etc. Its a nice place to live so as in Cocody, Rivieran and 2 Plateaux. Among the bad areas I could say - Ajame, Yopugon, Abobo, Bassam. There are also very nice beaches about an hour drive away from Abidjan with beautiful hotels and good food :) We go there every weekend, very relaxing.
As for an african culture... the most important thing in case you are getting married to an african is to stay away from the family. I mean, its important to get a place on your own. Most of the marriages have been ruined by the family members. Even if you do not live with a family they will still consider your home as their own. Its not a big deal for them to enter your house and take whatever they want from it. Its like living in a village where everybody has to share. I remember myself and my dutch colleague used to lock our desks before living the office. Otherwise whatever you have: coffee, biscuits, everything would be gone next morning....
Ivorians are very relaxed, they are never in a hurry, lazy, not much organized. Its difficult to get things done fast when dealing with them. Some locals are very nice, and treat you in a good way, but some are real racists, especially when it comes to police and markets.
People here are not hygienic, they dont mind living among cockroaches and dirt, this is what the foreigners can not cope with :)
But there are some africans who are very open-minded, they try to live the way they used to live when they studied or worked abroad. However, what most of the russian women say, their husbands completely changed once they god back to their own country.
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tinker03
8/24/2009 23:20 EST
hello Toma...thank you so much for all the info its been helpfull...are you from america or? what took you to abidjan? i general do you like living there ? do you think it would be hard for a women of my age to adjust to such a differnt way of life. also i dont know french ..but think i would learn it fast when thats all i hear... thanks again you seem to be very special person...tinker03
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Toma
8/26/2009 09:30 EST
Hi Cheryl :)
Thank you! :) I just try to help, cos i've been also in a situation when I had no idea where I am going and what to expect from the place, especially like Africa....
I am Russian :), married to an Indian, he works on a contract here, but we met in Cameroon where I came as a trainee first time to Africa :)
I think it won't be difficult for you to adjust to life here as long as your future husband provides you with all the necessities you are used to. It will be harder if the environment he will bring you to will be extremely different.
You will surely learn the language, especially when you have someone to practice with. It will be perfect if you could start working somewhere or become busy with something, because life here is not very exciting. Even if you decide to take a walk it becomes a problem, there are simply no parks here to come and rest and walking on the sidewalk is also a problem since they are only in some areas of Abidjan.
Compared to Cameroon, I like Cote D'ivoire much more. Abidjan is the second most developed city in West Africa after Lagos. There are huge french and lebanese communities, lots of americans working for the UN, so you will 100% meet new friends here :)
After all, it all depends on your future husband, his support and help he will need to give you once you are here.
Keep in touch!
Best regards,
Tamara
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tinker03
8/27/2009 15:28 EST
Tamara, hello again so good to have your posts i feel alone in my adventure and if i make it to abidjan i hope we will meet cause i already feel you to be a friend.....i do believe my future husband will be alot of help in my adjustment to africa...but he is african. he tells me we will take a little african culture and some american culture and make our own culture.....
but as af now he is very ill and in the hospital...and being i dont speak french im finding it hard to get information......again thank you ...you are very special your friend cheryl
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Toma
9/1/2009 05:46 EST
Dear Cheryl,
I am very sorry to hear about your husband. I hope he will get well soon!
Of course it will be nice to meet once you are here! Don't worry, if you have trust in your husband, everything will be just fine :)
I am now back in Russia, not sure when I will be back to CI tho :( But we will keep in touch and if there is anything i can be a help of, just let me know :)
Best wishes,
Tamara
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Katz
9/21/2009 14:15 EST
Hi I am also looking for advice about the life and culture in Abidjan. My Fiance is from IC and we are going to meet his family next June. I have heard many differnt things also so I am not exactly sure what to expect. I talked to my fiance about the family issues and he says that it reall depends on how they have been brought up. Any advice?
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Toma
10/23/2009 10:32 EST
Hi,
Sorry, maybe I won't sound very optimistic, but I think that nothing could change the african mentality when it comes to their numerous family...
There is no way to escape from a close relationships with a huge group of family members. It all depends on how you will feel about it and more important how you could deal with them.
Best regards,
Tamara
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