Jantom
2/2/2015 13:09 EST
My father who has lived in Jamaica for 30 years died last week. I am in the process of planning his funeral and wondered what the average cost is. Or the cost when the deceased has relatives in Englad as I am told that everything cost more.
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Gardis
2/2/2015 13:28 EST
I have a friend whose sister died last year. I was astonished at the cost of that funeral. It came to a few thousand dollars US! Funerals are usually big deals in Jamaica, complete with church service and some food. It can be very costly.
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Jantom
2/2/2015 14:48 EST
I'm beginning to notice and haven't even factored in food and refreshments yet.
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lala718
2/2/2015 19:05 EST
First of all Jantom, my condolence to you and your family. Funerals in Jamaica are quite expensive and a "spectacle" to behold. People gather at the house nightly and yes, they do expect a "little something," usually corned beef sandwich, coffee, rum. Then there's grave digging (soup, food, rice, meat, alcoholic and non alcoholic beverages). There's what they call set up or nine night, in US we call wake, not sure what you call it in London...this comes with the expense of what I mentioned for the grave digging and the usual nightly visits + a band or 2 (been to two where they had 2 bands, one for the young folks, and one for the older folks). Everyone who has never sold a thing in their life become vendors that night, setting up little shops close by on this particular night. The funeral follows the same expense as b4 excluding the sandwiches and tea. Be happy when it's over, cause you'll be speechless at how much you spent. Choose a package at the funeral home that you can afford and don't allow anyone to choose the most expensive, like what family members did to us, and they didn't have any money to contribute. Best of luck and be strong, I'll pray for you.
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Jantom
2/3/2015 05:18 EST
Thank you Iala718 you have said pretty much what others have told me to expect. In the UK we also call it a nine night.
So far I have been quoted $450,000 for the funeral package alone, which is definitely out of my budget range and trust me when I say that my dad would turn in his grave if I paid this! I am trying to negotiate another package with them and although I want my dad to have a dignified send off, I still have to keep a level head as I am the only family paying for this. He would not have wanted all the "spectacle" they are trying to sell me as he led a simple life, but I understand that some things cannot be avoided and will eventually have to "grin and bear it". Also my patience and energy levels are declining rapidly.
Thanks again for your kind words and yes, please pray for me.
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LoriB
2/3/2015 12:27 EST
Jantom, condolences on the loss of your father who has passed.
Was your father Jamaican, or an expat residing there?
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Jantom
2/3/2015 12:37 EST
He was Jamaican born, lived in the UK for many years before returning to JA.
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Cessj
2/3/2015 19:02 EST
Jamdown, I too want to offer my condolences to you and your family...it must be such a difficult time for you all, I hope that you are able to get through this very difficulty period with grace and sanity intact. Do what feels right to you, and what you know your father would have wanted. If others want an expensive send off, then suggest that they contribute to the overall costs.
Cecily
Dr. Cecily Jones
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LoriB
2/4/2015 12:01 EST
Okay, so you are/feel 'obligated' to provide a traditional Jamaican funeral? Did your father have any savings or insurance that can help with funeral costs?
If your ability to pay is limited, what can you do but provide only up to your means?
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CharlesUK
11/17/2015 03:40 EST
Belated condolences to you I have found myself in a similar position unfortunately. My father is being flown back to Jamaica very shortly. The funeral directors have been very slow to respond to my enquiries about the details of the package and the costs. I finally got the partial breakdown that includes TV and Radio Ads and 100 printed leaflets? It does seem that our loss is seen as an opportunity to make money! I never had details of "the package" agreed and it does seem outrageous they can double their fee without warning or explanation!
No mention of food has been made as yet and I suspect there will be a series of "surprises" at the last minute that they expect us to pay! I have no intention of paying for a party it's supposed to be a funeral. Attended by family and friends not the general public all looking for a free meal!
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Gardis
11/17/2015 07:43 EST
Let me tell you, funerals in Jamaica are considered major events. I have a friend whose sister died two years ago. These are people without any financial resources whatsoever, and that funeral cost them upwards of $2000 USD. Food is expected by the attendees. If you don't take control of this, it is going to cost you a fortune even in USD or British pounds.
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CharlesUK
11/25/2015 06:29 EST
The funeral Directors we are now committed to are crooks. And are desperately coming up with new ways to inflate the bill. Unfortunately there is no professionalism to it or even dignity. It's quite clear to me that requests put in writing can be ignored. Blackmail and exploitation is the language they operate with. Goodluck to anyone having to go through this. Humanity has reached a new low.
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edmon59
11/25/2015 07:43 EST
Reading these posts, I don see anything unusual or criminal going on. Nine Night is a BIG deal. Jamaicans throw big funerals. Do defray thee costs to the deceased's family they will set up the shops mentioned above, charge for food and drink at the nine night,
Flyers? Absolutely. Death notice on TVJ? Yup. Don't forget taxi fare for all the aunties, cousins, etc. It is how it is done here. I've done it.
What you are up against is the fact that you have no boots on the ground here.
You need to find a concerned Jamaican relative in JA to manage all this. Everything is negotiable here. Everything.
Best of luck, sorry this is happening to you.
Ed
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iriestar
12/1/2015 06:34 EST
Gardis,
2k USD for a funeral is cheap! The only thing that cheap in the US is cremation. The average US funeral runs closer to 10k so if you can get away with spending 2k for a nice spread in JA...go for it.
Funerals in JA are HUGE...the majority of the money is spent one upping the funeral before.. Air brushed caskets, funeral bands playing in the precession to the burial, hired wailers, (yes they hire people to 'weep and cry' at funerals, the TV spots, the radio spots, the ads in the paper..etc.
Let's not even touch on the food....food is a huge part of the funeral.
So...if you can pull that off on 2k USD you're getting a great deal!!!
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Gardis
12/1/2015 07:06 EST
No Iriestar, I'm sorry, not everyone does that. Many might do it, but not all. My friend certainly did not spend that kind of money. My friend's mother did all the cooking, and put everything in those little white box lunches. There was no catering, but at least they got some food. The burial was in spanish Town somewhere.
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blessingsdevine
6/4/2016 14:18 EST
Read all the replies regarding Funerals so I would like to share my story.
I visited my dad regularly since 1999 and spent many wonderful moments with him. He started to get ill in 2015 so I went to look after him as I am a retiree and had the time to spend. Although he had others that were tending to his care I felt that I could do a little more and did my best to work with the other two ladies as a team. My father was so ill that it would be difficult on anyone caretaker, moreover I believe that caregiving is a two way street.
To my surprise everyone resented me leaving my comfort zone in Toronto to look after my dad. They wanted me to pay others to look after him and provide jobs. Honestly, I did not want to do that since I worked in the medical field for many years and had a little bit more knowledge yet I respected everyone who could help because I could not do it alone because of my own health issues. Iwas just amaze at the attitude of these people they made my life a living hell but I still endured everything and still went all the way. He had appointments with doctors and hospitals and I manage to take him to all his appointments even though I have not lived in Jamaica for over 40 years I would do anything for my DAD. After his appointments I left for Canada and he died 2 days before I went back to Jamaica to continue caring for him.
When he died even though my family knew that I would be there in 2 days they went and removed his body without getting an autopsy done which I wanted one. You see everyone blamed me for putting him in a Nursing home even though he was hospitalized for 13 days when no one visited him. I was there the 13days from 10-6 at nights. Moreover my dad always said he needed a change.
Anyway since I had his birth certificate and time I registered his death and got the necessary documents for his Funeral. There were some disagreement as to where he should be buried behind an old outside toilet and a spot that is a watercourse over a Cemetery nearby where everyone would be comfortable visiting.
There was my brother and his girlfriend and my Aunt and after much debate they won and so I left upset and in a hurry and unfortunately with the death certificate.
The next morning I went to the funeral home to hand over the death certificate as it was needed for the burial. Before I could say anything the receptionist informed me that my Aunt and my brother signed a document saying that I should not view his body or have anything to do with the Funeral. Again I left with the death certificate. However I knew that they would find a way to bury him as anything can be done in Jamaica if you can a=pay off people.
The funeral went on but I did not attend. I w as at peace considering I spent a lot of time, burst into my retirement funds and did the best I could for him while he was a live and so at that point it did not matter to me. I was delighted I spent many days with him talking singing and praying with him. At one time the nursing home offered me a place to stay.
After a few weeks I bump into people who attended the funeral and they told me they heard what happened and would have done the same. The funeral and wake went really, really bad I heard everything was disorganised and I figure it was due to lack of funds.
In the mean time it was my plans to send him off with dignity and as an appreciation for all the people that touched his life even in some small way I would have gone the extra mile to show my appreciation.
I felt denied but still happy that I have good memories of my DAD and even to this day still wish I had done more and spend more.
I do not feel good most days in Canada so I recently moved to Wilshire in Falmouth. My hope is that the ocean views of the Island will help me heal.
Sine 1999 my time was always shared with my Dad and the beautiful waters of the Island it is where I heal and feel better.
So thanks for reading my story.
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LoriB
6/4/2016 14:47 EST
Blessingsdevine, your father was lucky to have you come and care for him when he needed you. You sound like a sensible person and able to let go of the issues others try to put in the way. Enjoy your time in Wilshire and Jamaica.
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Gardis
6/4/2016 18:00 EST
What a beautiful heartfelt story. God Bless. Try to enjoy the rest of your life. You went beyond the call of duty. Too bad your family didn't appreciate it.
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