Best wishes. I am married to Kuwaiti for 10 years. I have seen MANY friends watch their husbands take another wife, have affairs etc. Haven't caught my husband, but who knows. This is a segrated society and men have diwaniyas that they hang out in into the wee hours of night. Husband says at diwaniya, but who knows where really is. Lots of sex apartments around country where guys share rent and use different nights for their sex fun.
Before you come here, try to visit before marriage. You CAN get a visitor visa if you are American very easy. You will also see how serious your guy is if he agrees with you coming to see for yourself before getting that ring on your finger. You need to know if you will be living with your in-laws, which breaks many marriages. American women just aren't used to having motherinlaw, sisterinlaws helping make our living decisions for us. If you hang out with him and his buddies there, when you get here, don't be surprised if they act like they never saw you, and you will suddenly find out they are married with 3 kids and 'religious' here. If I had it to do over, I wouldn't. oil and water don't mix.

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I met my Kuwaiti husband 4 years ago and we have one daughter. I have nothing but positive things to say about him, our marriage and his Kuwaiti friends I have met. He is a wonderful husband, more than anyone should ever expect, and an exceptional father. We are planning to eventually move back to Kuwait to enjoy a more relaxed lifestyle.
Any problems you hear about Kuwaiti men is not half as bad as some American men, lets face it...they're men, and in general there are going to be the same issues raised. My suggestion is to not treat, expect or look at your fiance any differently than any other man. Cultural issues are just another understanding.

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Well, I've been married to my husband for four years, and in Kuwait for 2 months. There are resources here, but just don't expect to pick up the phone book to find them. In fact, when I asked about a phone book, my husband laughed at me. Everything is done in sort of a HUNT IT DOWN mode.

Now...on to the relationship aspect of it...I'd like to say that my husband was wonderful in the USA, and is okay here, but the society itself doesn't allow for his behavior to be the same. As someone noted, hanging out with his friends was all cool in the USA - but here it's not done, and hardly possible. I've seen one of them (one of the crazier ones) and of course he talked to me, and horror of horrors HUGGED me, but I was very close to about 10 of his friends in the USA, and he will NOT let me see them here...unless by accident.

Next is the general perception of social etiquette. 1) you don't smile and say hi to men you don't know...even to be polite..no good mornings, nothing - they take this as an open invitation to whatever is in their brain. 2) Don't get irritated when you see Kuwaiti BOYS & MEN staring at you 24/7 - it's going to happen - especially if you have looks that do not conform to the Kuwaiti norm (blonde, red head, blue/green eyes, pale skin). But even if you do conform...they stare. It's like they've never seen a woman before.

We are staying with his family, but plan to move as soon as I know where I'm going to be working (looking for a job is a WHOLE different difficulty) - and his family is VERY VERY sweet - but there are nine people in this house, and I'm used to living in an apartment in the USA - so...lots of noise, and little privacy unless I close and lock my door - which I hate to be a hermit 24/7.

I don't meant to be negative - because I do adore my husband, and haven't started packing my bags to go home yet (notice the YET part). He has been my one sanity (most of the time) since I got here - but I will note that if you are not Muslim (which I'm not sure of) there is little for you to do here by way of associating with women. I'm not Muslim and was sent to a "non-arab women's class" only to discover all of them were COVERED Muslim women...as I sat there in jeans and a button up shirt, hair down my back - now THAT was fun :)

When do you plan to move?

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I am going through hell with my boyfriend's family and I'm still in the US. I need to hear about horror stories from other foreign women and how to deal with a VERY manipulative mother-in-law. She will do anything to prevent our marriage and so far she has created mayhem. NEED HELP from foreign women who are dealing with stuff like this! Specially in the area of family problems. Thanks!

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Sorry dear but get used to it. I'm an American woman married to a q8y man now for 6 1/2 years. 1 1/2 years in usa and now 5 yrs in q8. Life here is very different but I have to agree with the other reader, it all depends on ur fiance. If he's willing to stand up to his mother then you'll be ok, if he's not, then ur headed for trouble. Most q8y's listen to their mom's & do as they say simply cuz they hate to disappoint Mom. It's an Islamic thing, (Heaven is at the feet of your Mother) which means please your Mom. Just hope that he really loves you & stands up to his family!!! Good luck!

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Thank you Ahlam. Your words are truly wise as my FORMER boyfriend and I split. His mother told him to come home to discuss the matter with the family. He did as told. His mother had a girl that she had chosen waiting for him in his house. When he rebelled, his mom had a 'crisis' and had to be taken to the hospital. She is a diabetic. He came back to the US but I just could not handle his mother. You are right. I was headed to major trouble. It's just so unfair though. What's a girl to do against such selfishness? It's like one of those Hitchcok's horror movies.

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Wow. You are engaged to a Kuwaiti man. Where did you meet this man? Because the relationship you are enjoying with him now, I am assuming OUT of Kuwait, will be VERY different once you get here. Can you not find someone else closer to your own culture? I have too many nightmare stories to tell you about Kuwaiti men than this forum has room for. I'll bet your fiance is VERY charming though. Like some species develop physical characteristics to better adapt to their environment, Kuwaiti men develop charm to enable them to satisty their insatiable sexual appetite and need for sexual conquest. Why not save yourself a lot of grief and just remain friends with the guy.

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hi, mel
I read your story and I find it very intresting because im on the same boat. How are you doing are you in kuwait now, and how is your marriage and life for you in kuwait? Is there anything you would have wished to have known before leaving to kuwait or getting married.I hope your happy and you have had positive experiances in kuwait.

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this is reply to the ohio girl (not sure of your name) Check out the American Womens League or differnt things like that . Try to get involved in things to get you out, as much as your husband will let you. there is The Kuwait Little Theatre, if you act AND there are two different choral groups. Check out the papers, as there are ads for different American groups and womens groups who get together. Good Luck to all of you!!!
I'm not married but did live in Kuwait for 5 years...actually looking to come back soon!!

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Farouha.

It is a shame to see a wife speak so negatively about her husband when she's got no proof that he is doing anything wrong.
Seems like there is a lack of trust. You are not able to take his word for it that he is where he says he's been.

Hearing you say that you would not do it over again if given a chance to says a lot right there. Maybe it's time to split?

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