" I''ve been reading all the messages and it seems like all of you are so happy in Malaysia. What gives? I spent 4 months there and couldn''t stand it. Why? Let''s see....lizards, rats, thumb-sized cockroaches....all indoors! The smell of burning garbage, rubber factories, garbage strewn everywhere, no seatbelts being used, no helmets, kids on motorcycles.....Oh, I could go on and on. Oh, and everything is so expensive...if you''re making malaysian ringgit you will never survive...Mcdonald''s and KFC and Pizza Hut are for the upper classes. There''s no playgrounds for the kids, the beaches are filthy with goats and chickens walking everywhere. This is the reality of Malaysia...are you people in some kind of virtual world or something....hmm.....maybe you are all getting paid in foreign currency and living the high life....sad that the locals aren''t cashing in the way they should be. I was hoping this site would have a few realistic stories in it...is there anyone out there who is married to a local and living life like a local? ie..not working for a foreign company and swimming in pools etc.....just a regular mat/mek? Well if you''re out there...please respond....hey there were things I liked about Malaysia but you can bet that probably no one on this list would appreciate them....ie hearing the azan, eating halal food.....well....what can you do. Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri. "

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" Hi Aishah, I have been living in Kuching Sarawak for 14 years and I agree things are a bit rough at times! The livestock still gets at me! Anyway my husband is Malay - Selamat Hari Raya to you too! It is a great place to relax as far as food being halal etc but I know exactly what you mean by your comments regarding the environment! Where abouts are you living? I also know what you mean about living on a local wage of ringgit...for years I have tried to explain to people (expats over here on US or UK wages) that no we don''t get the schooling paid for or we don''t get free trips home!! When I first arrived I had to explain why we were living in a not so great house to a woman who suggested we move to where she was living...my hubby''s wage was half of the rent!! Anyway enough of that! Nice to see a married to a local on the list..I don''t visit the site often! Send me a note direct if you''d like to communicate off the list shairi@pc.jaring.my Wassalam "

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" Hi Helen and Aishah, I live in Melaka. Both my husband and I are ""expats"" as they say over here, and I can totally understand both of you. I have had to deal with the lizards in the house and the occasional roach. My husband works for a very small foreign company, and they are very ""stingy"" to put it nicely. No, we can''t afford any of those RM3000+ condos, no maids, no free trips home (actually no trips home-who has the money?!), etc. We get paid in Ringgit. Since I don''t qualify as a Top Manager in my field, there is no chance of me being able to work here, so we are actually losing a lot of money by being here. So far no kids, yet, otherwise we''d surely be in the poor house! I know we make more than the ""locals"" and yes we can afford McDonalds and KFC, but my hubby constantly complains if I spend money on things that are not neccessities. We rarely go out to eat or go anywhere. Since I am home all the time, I sometimes splurge on English books and just don''t tell him about it. Now he complains about how much the phone bill is from using the internet. Stuff here is very expensive. The cost of electronics is comparable to US prices and we don''t get the equivalent salary, so it''s not really to our advantage. I know a lot of those ""rich"" expats that seem to have limitless pockets and think nothing of taking a RM20 taxi to town when the bus for the same trip costs only RM 1.50. When I first met them it was like they were in their own little fantasy world. I guess you can live anywhere and like it if you have enough money to be comfortable. I was asked to move over near them, too, and I thought, Yeah, if our company paid our rent and all our utility bills like theirs do we STILL couldn''t afford it! Some of them are nice people but it has been hard trying to fit into that scene. Since they all live about 10-15km away I don''t see them much anyway. "

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" So glad to get a response! I''m happy to know that there are people out there who know how it feels to live like that. I was living in Kota Bharu, Kelantan from April 2000 to August 2000. Malays say that Kelantan is the worst state to live in but don''t they say that Sarawak is even worse? Now I am back in Canada. Maybe from here my husband can apply for some swanky international post and we could live like other expats. Oh, yes the internet and phone bills are out of this world...people there are constantly getting thier phones disconnected due to inability to pay. They have a monopoly so they can charge as much as they please. Tina where are you from originally? Helen I will be writing to you personally. Once again thanks for responding it really made my day. Aishah "

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" I''m a Brit who''s lived here for 10 years, who started out as a priviledged expat, but for six years have lived and worked exactly as the locals do, and have built a successful business. The comments about Malaysia being expensive are rubbish! Yes, if you only shop in the swanky supermarkets with all the other mat sallehs, or the department stores for electrical goods etc, you''ll pay top dollar - but surely, when in Rome you should do as the locals do! If you take the trouble to get to know Malaysians, try to speak a little Malay, you''ll find that Aishah and others who commented are reflecting a very narrow perspective. "

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" Hi Mike, I have lived in Malaysia for the past 15 years (as a local)so I know what you are saying about ''living as a local'' but maybe you forget that you had already set up here as an expat. so I''m sure you must have had some of the benefits left over when you started living as a ''local''. That is very different from the situation that Aishah was describing, living in a kampong in Kelantan, with young children. Your experience is also very different from what many of us experienced arriving here with little or no money, in many cases with husbands at the beginning of their careers. Trust me everything was expensive with only a take home wage of RM805 and rent of RM350! Anyway - I glad you''re happy here. I take it you''re in KL? We are in Kuching Sarawak. What business are you in? Cheers Helen "

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Comparing apples and oranges. Helen is right...our situations are not comparable.I doubt that Mike is really living like a local....do you live in a kampung house? Do you drive a motorbike with your two kids on it and your pregnant wife? Do you eat rice for breakfast instead of cereal and toast? Do your kids drink powdered milk because you can''t afford fresh milk? Can you hear rats running back and forth on your roof? Did you ever have bats and snakes in your house? Did your wife ever give birth in a gov''t rat-infested hospital with 20 women in the ward without even curtains for privacy and nothing to eat or drink except tea? These are the realities of life for locals and those married to locals. The only way around this scenario is to work for a foreign company that pays in foreign currency or to open a very profitable business which takes money to begin with. Just to buy a car is so expensive that you will be in debt so badly that I wonder how the locals will ever be able to pay it off as well as other debts just to have basic necessities like furniture. Hmm as to knowing the language a little...saya boleh cakap BM dan kelate tapi only a little tapi saya cuba cakap dengan orang melayu all the time when I was there. And as for getting to know Malaysians...heck! I am married to one! And my kids are half-malay...and half the kampung are my in-laws!LOL! Aishah

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" Mike, I saw your posting hoping for business! I now understand why you are so worried about people posting anything but glowing reports about Malaysia on this site! Don''t worry your little Brits will be coming over with expat packages and they won''t have to put up with the ''real'' experiences that we have described that you claim are not accurate. I guess it would be bad for your business if anyone considered our comments to be true! "

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" Aishah, Hi! I am living in Melaka and am from South Carolina (USA). Though I know a lot of ""expat"" ladies here, they are all pretty much here with large multi-national companies and even though they say it makes no difference that my husband and I are in a different situation, sometimes it does. I find that most of them just cannot comprehend what it is like for someone like us here. I suppose I might be lucky to be in Melaka than someplace else, but sometimes I wish I could have lived in KL (though on our salary we''d be broke for sure!) I have one Malay friend here. She is also married to a Japanese and has lived in Japan for a few years, like me, so we have a lot of things in common in that respect. She''s originally from Perak but moved to Melaka when her husband got a job here. I would have to say she is the only person I feel comfortable talking with, the one I call for help or advice, etc. Sometimes I have complaints about things over here that she totally agrees with, like the maniacal reckless drivers, lack of consumer rights, etc. It is sometimes nice to know that it is not just me who feels this way, that even some Malaysians find discontent. I often find, if I think about it, that the problems we have here are everywhere, even in the USA (certainly no perfect world there!). How are getting along in Canada? What do you and your husband do for work? Yes, come back as an ""Expat""and live the high life! Wouldn''t that be wonderful?!!! Tina in Melaka "

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" Cost of living can be seen as relative to perspective. Moving from a developed country, Malaysia is seen as a relatively inexpensive place to live. Food at restaurants and streets stalls is a very good bargain. Basic medical care is also inexpensive, and housing in KL is OK as well. However, Malaysia is not cheap compared to other developing countries and not from the stand point of someone at the lower income level. Despite the price controls on basic food stuffs in Malaysia (rice, oil and other items I understnad are still price controlled)it can be a hard life for the less priviliged. As much as the rest of the world starts to think that all of Malaysia looks like the Petronas Towers, there are still basic development issues that need to be addressed. The kampung is not so sexy, so does not make it into Holywood movies. "

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" I am very sorry to hear those sad stories that Aishah and Heleen had to go through while living in Malaysia. I am a Malaysian, been living there for the last 25 years. I had lived in Canada for 2 years and now in Holland for the last 3 years. I am a kampung boy (Pendang, Kedah) and I never had the experience like Aishah told in her first mail. I''ve never heard or seen rats running around in my parent''s house, no complains of eating rice two time a day, powder milk until I was the age of 3, considering that my father was making much less that what Aishah and Helen were talking about. Now, that is Malaysia. Please don''t say bad things about one country just to let out your anger of something else. That is the country and the way it is. We are human, would never be satisfied with everything. You''ve made your choices to live in Malaysia in that life style and in that particular places, so do not say bad things and gave bad impressions about a country and the situation there when you yourselves made the choices to live there. If you do not like a particular place, just leave and find other places to live. You have all the freedom in the world to make your own choices. And, comparing other countries in the world, Malaysia is not a bad place at all to live in. I am not trying to be harsh here, but reading bad stories about own country from persons who have personal problems with the local life style is very annoying. I wish you all the best of luck in making choices in your lives. "

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" I fully agree with Anees, Helen and Aishah, both of you make the choice yourselves to live/remain in Malaysia. Before you make such a decission you have to think about all the difficulties you have to face. You are both grown up in western countries and culture and all the luxe you got there. And than suddenly move to Malaysia. Did you really expect life would be the same ? Did you never visited Malaysia for holidays before you decide to remain there ??? I´m sorry I only can come to one conclusion and it seems to me that both of you have (personal) problems (in your relationship with your husbands) and turn your anger to the country. And Aishah do you really want to go back to Malaysia again if your husband is an expat there ???? So it´s not a country that´s so bad but something else. By the way what did your husband do for living in Malaysia and what is he doing now ??? A graduated person with bachelor degree in Malaysia could make RM 2000 per month, with master degree could catch up to Rm 3000 a month. I could not help myself wondering what kind of job that he did? One more thing about the KFC and Mc Donald. For a big mac, fries and coke would only cost you about RM 7 to 8 ( which is about USD 1.5 to USD2 ). Now tell me where in USA or Canada that you can buy that meals with that price? Please think and don´t fool yourself and others by telling those stories. "

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" Azmi, I''m glad you posted a different opinion over here as I''m thinking about leaving the US to live in KL for a while. Those other stories kind of scared me, but you''re right, compared to the US, one could survive pricewise. What do you think does a 50.000$ salary (US) compare with in KL? Rgds/ Bill "

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" Dear Bill, Those stories in the first few messages that you read were coming out from anger from those who have personal problems. Malaysia is a peaceful country, you will be surprise of the development and the beatiful city of Kuala Lumpur! You could hardly hear news of killing or shooting compared to other developed countries in the world. Even in US or Europe you could hear that almost everyday innocent people are being shot dead for nothing. You could hardly hear news like that in Malaysia. Yes, every country has her own weaknesses. But then if you look them as the difference cultures that you have to face and accept them since that are the local people''s cultures, then you will be fine. Choose yourself a good place to stay in Kuala Lumpur, vast choices there. With that USD 50,000 per annum, you''ll do very well in Malaysia. That is almost RM 200,000 per annum. You''ll live like a king there! (depend on your style of living, of course, :) . Cost of living there there is not high and in Kuala Lumpur, the standard of living is very high. Enjoy yourself with the warm weather there. I wish you the best of luck! Sincerely, Anees "

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" My goodness, my topic is on fire! Well first of all assalamu alaikum to my dear muslim brothers and sisters. As usual some people just can''t handle the truth. Malaysia is how I described it, for those who are living as locals, and expats with foreign companies will experience these things to a lesser degree. Money is always a way to escape from less pleasant things. But instead of admitting the truth you wish to remain in denial and become kecil hati. Come on, there is no excuse. You cannot say simply this is our culture and we refuse to improve ourselves. Let''s take Thailand...why is it so clean? As a muslim I would be ashamed to bring my family to Malaysia and see the filth because they would blame it on Islam. Sure you can tell people to go home, what does that solve? Why is it so hard to accept constructive criticism? If you come to Canada and complain I wouldn''t mind a bit, if fact we encourage complaints because it leads to improvements. Now, about me having marital problems? You have to make up stuff just because you can''t accept the truth? That''s sad. Its not Islamic to lie about another person who you have never even met. Also I never went to Malaysia before last year. Going to Malaysia from Canada is mega expensive! (I''m not a rich expat remember). When we were there my husband did acquire a job as an engineer after 3 months of searching. The pay was 2000MR per month, which means you have to work a six day week and get paid once a month. Now you may think that 2000MR is enough to survive. I disagree. At the time we were a family of 8 and expecting the 9th. The cost of living has skyrocketed since my husband first left to study overseas. He was really shocked by the prices of everything. McDonald''s may seem cheap if you have US dollars but if you have only ringgit, then that''s a different story. Another thing is that no spouse of a malaysian is allowed to work until they get their PR status which takes 6 years. Most families have two people working to make ends meet in Malaysia. The most important thing is to eat, if you are not well fed you cannot do anything else. In Malaysia I could not afford my own cultural food and since I was very sick due to pregnancy my stomach couldn''t hold any other kind of food and I lost 30 lbs and was terrified I would have a miscarriage , so on top of everything else there I decided to leave to save my baby''s life as well as my other baby who wasn''t gaining weight. If we had the kind of money that other expats had we could have stayed and tried to adapt to the other things but without proper nutrition , life becomes unbearable. So you see its not that I want luxuries, just a clean, organized, safe environment and proper nutrition. If your saying that your culture is against these things then I think you need to check yourself. I highly recommend a book I am reading now, its called ""Can Asians Think?"" by Kishore Mahbubani. He is an Indian Singaporean who is currently the high commissioner to Canada. Read it ,it will make you think. Also you will notice in my first post that I did mention some good things about Malaysia. So why did you trade the twin towers for windmills? What year were you in Canada? Aishah "

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" Hi Bill, I think you will have a great time in KL if you are on USD50000 (RM190000). The point of my previous postings was that life here on a local wage is very different from life here on an expat package. I can''t blame the guys from taking offense it is afterall their homeland and we are all very protective of country where we are from ""warts and all"". Cheers Helen. "

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" Hey....what was so sad. I just stated facts as they were. If you think my comments were bad you should have heard my West Malaysian (KL girl) sister-in-law when she first got to Kuching! I do not expect you to agree with all I said..but the idea was to show both sides of the situation. I do realise after 15 years here that many people here like to pretend that there is only one side to most stories but you have been out of Malaysia and I am sure you have found out that two different people living in the same place can have two very different and even conflicting opinions of the same situation. That is life. This is a venue for adults living or looking to live in another country to come and find out about their potential new home. So why all the coating. If people were going to my home city I would no doubt tell them the pros, but as responsible adult one has to acknowledge that everywhere in the world has its faults. In your letter, you showed concern that our problems with Malaysia were linked to personal problems (for the record no they are not)...may I suggest to you that your defensiveness be link to the fact that you yourself are not happy where you are at the moment and lets face it when you are homesick ""there''s no place like home"". Wasalamu "

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" Hi Bill, I just joined this site today, and it really made me cringe.. I am a British lady, and have lived here 20 years! I was married to a local, but unfortunately my marriage did''nt succeed, although 17 years is not too bad! I have 2 sons both born here..and they both attended International Schools, which i highly reccommend.. Yes I agree that PR does take some time. Mine actually took 12 years! But isn''t the fact that the Immigration here are strict, a plus. Look at the state my home country UK are in , simply because they allow every Tom , Dick and Harry in. Malaysia is very unique in the fact that we (wow I am saying ''we'' and I am a Brit) are a very multi racial community without any discrimination. We all celebrate each others cultural events together..where will you ever find this!! The people here are pretty slow, and don''t make time their enemy but they are very kind, genuine and generous.. One of the reasons I am here is because as a single Mum, I feel safe and loved. Unlike UK I can walk the streets at night safely. I can go to a bar alone, and not feel like a ''slut'' I can just simply be me... What you mentioned about your allowances are more than enough to suffice here. In fact you would have a high life with what you mentioned! I earn Malaysian ringgit, and I survive real well. The woman who talked about being pregnant and losing 30 lbs must have a problem in life.It is nothing like he described. Some of my packing crew (I work with a moving company) earn RM 600 per month (less than USD100) and have a wife and 3 kids, and they eat well...and are always happy.. Some people unfortunately don''t know how to cope with life. Okay I have an advantage, as I live on a beautiful Island called Penang. The east coast, where your negative friend mailed about, is VERY Islamic..so things are pretty restricted..so perhaps she felt constrained. KL is really cool. I drive down there often..(we have really great highways)takes 3 hours..The night spots and theatre are sooo cool...KL is sooo modern. They have Hardrock Cafe, and tons more. BIG TIME ex-pat communities... lots of action.. Bill if you are planning to move here, give me a mil with all details, and I can arrange for you to be show around (the right places) Mail and let me know. Rgds, Lynda "

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Sorry about the spelling mistakes.I type with two fingers...

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" Good for you Lynda. Its about time someone stood up for the expat living in Malaysia. What I have heard in the last few mails is so negative. I have lived in Malaysia for 18 years and I am from England. Yes, it was a shock when I first came here, things were very different, and it took me some time to adjust. But I did adjust; I accepted that things are done differently here....I didn''t expect to come to another version of my own country. If you expect to come to another version of your own country then you should stay at home. I have learned a lot by living here. I have learned to accept others beliefs and respect them, I have learned to live on a local wage and not expect the things I had overseas (i.e. to shop in the markets and not always in the supermarkets), I have, most importantly, learned to accept the difference in the way Malaysians live as opposed to my home country and accept that there is good and bad in every culture and country. The most important thing that I know now is that Malaysia is an excellent place to bring up a child and I am thankful that I live here and my son is being brought up here - he is being taught tolerance for other cultures and customs, he is being brought up in a multi-racial society and so doesn''t see any difference between the races and treats all as equals, he understands the importance of ''family, he does not have the pressure that children of my own country feel to conform (i.e. branded clothes, shoes, etc.). I can ask for no better country to bring up my child. "

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" Good for you Lynda. Its about time someone stood up for the expat living in Malaysia. What I have heard in the last few mails is so negative. I have lived in Malaysia for 18 years and I am from England. Yes, it was a shock when I first came here, things were very different, and it took me some time to adjust. But I did adjust; I accepted that things are done differently here....I didn''t expect to come to another version of my own country. If you expect to come to another version of your own country then you should stay at home. I have learned a lot by living here. I have learned to accept others beliefs and respect them, I have learned to live on a local wage and not expect the things I had overseas (i.e. to shop in the markets and not always in the supermarkets), I have, most importantly, learned to accept the difference in the way Malaysians live as opposed to my home country and accept that there is good and bad in every culture and country. The most important thing that I know now is that Malaysia is an excellent place to bring up a child and I am thankful that I live here and my son is being brought up here - he is being taught tolerance for other cultures and customs, he is being brought up in a multi-racial society and so doesn''t see any difference between the races and treats all as equals, he understands the importance of ''family, he does not have the pressure that children of my own country feel to conform (i.e. branded clothes, shoes, etc.). I can ask for no better country to bring up my child. "

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" you have stated ''facts'' as you perceive them. Just because life is not as you expected it to be you can do nothing but ''condemn'' your way of life in Malaysia. You are not being subjective. My opinion of Malaysia is not a ''one sided fairy tale''....I have lived here for 18 years and loved every minute of it. Its sad that your feelings of living in Malaysia are so negative. I have known many ''permanent expats'' living in Malaysia, all have been married to a local and all living on a local wage....I have never, in my 18 years here, heard of any of them having the complaints that I have heard in this forum. "

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" Hi Tina, I know how you feel. We have a saying here in Penang ......you''re either an ''expat'' or a ''local expat''. Us ''local expats'' do not have the privileges that expats have but, being ''an expat because of where we come from'' we are treated as if we have money to burn. Its very frustrating. I have been in Malaysia for 18 years, am from England, but still have big problems with the way I am perceived amongst the locals. Its very frustrating but I am used to it now (my husband is a local). I can only say, get used to it, its been like it for the 18 years I have been here and I don''t see things changing in the near future. Unfortunately, the multinational companies pay very well and the expats that come with them are able to live the ''high life'', and we, as ''local expats'', will always be ''lumped'' into that bracket no matter how much our income is. Here in Penang, we have many ''groups'' of ladies, but the ''local-expat'' (expats married to locals normally, but not always!) are pretty close, we all know each other even if we don''t always ''socialise'', and are generally there for each other. There are many ladies in the same situation as you....feel free to mail me..... "

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" Hi Mike,(and everyone reading this) I know your mail was quite some time ago, but judging by your love of Malaysia, I am sure you are still around. I just cannot understand some peoples attitudes. Many would die to live here, and certainly wouldn''t ''die'' here from starvation as Aishah almost portrays in her very negative statement. I think perhaps her problems go beyond, and she is just using Malaysia as a punch bag. I honestly cannot think of a better place to live or die! I am a Brit, divorced (from a local) with two sons (17 & 11)..and I have lived independantly for the past 4 years. I managed to get a job (local salary) pay my own way through life, and I eat well and live a healthy lifestyle. I certainly wouldn''t have been able to do that in UK! I also feel safe as a single woman, to walk the streets at night, draw money from and ATM machine, even go for a drink alone, and not be worried about possibly being attacked...there aren''t many places like this in the world. The shops & stores are open almost 365 days a year from Morning until 10pm..All restraunts accept children,which in turn let families enjoy socialising together. As Carole mentioned in one of her mails..of course the ex-pats who come here for work assignments do get extraordinary privilidges, like maids etc, but living here as a permanent ex-pat, earning local wage is still sufficient to enjoy a comfortable life..and if one is not too materialistic in attitude, then there is no reason to suffer at all. There is a fabulous Womens Association both here and in Kuala Lumpur. It used to be called the American Womens Association, but because of so many multi racial ex-pats coming here, they have renamed it International Womens Association. Once you are here and join they take you under their wings. You will get to take part in wonderful ventures and learning experiences. You can learn to cook the local delicases, you can learn how to speak the local language (Bahasa Malaysia), you will be taken on cultural trips, shopping trips to the famous factories (Mikasa etc), learn Mahjong or Bridge, how to wear a Sari..they have mother baby groups, Halloween, Christmas you name it parties (even St Patricks Day celebration)...the list is endless..they even do voluntary community services for the disabled and aged.. In fact most ex-pats say they have more to do here than when they are in their home countries! I once had a request from a lady who was very worried about the fact that she had acryllic nails, and what she would do once she came to Malaysia. She was totally amazed when she got here at the beauty palour services... and for guys (and gals), a short trip over the Thai border, and you can get THE best traditional massage ever experienced in your life!! So I am off to my balcony now, to watch the beautiful sunset over the Straits of Malacca, sipping a nice cool beer.. For any people from other countries planning an assignment, trip or holiday here, please do not hesitate to contact me. I will be more than happy to help you with any pre-move questions you may have... Just for the record, my job is actually moving peoples home contents in and out of the country, and also relocation...so I deal with ex-pats on a daily basis. I can HONESTLY tell you that I have yet to meet an outgoing ex-pat who hasn''t felt deeply saddened to leave this wonderful country... "

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" Hi Carole, I have just had a chance to catch up with some of the postings on this thread, and from your early note I couldn''t agree more. The local expats are a close group and we don''t socialise in the same way that the other expats do. I think you have taken my comments as an attack on Malaysia where they were meant as a balance. To look at how it is for some local expats in particular when they first arrive. It is all related to initial impressions and life when you first arrive....what was your first year in Penang like? I have been lucky here our situation has improved and we now live in a big house; drive nice cars; and go on overseas holidays........it the point of my postings was to point out it doesn''t start off like that for many married to locals. I am always happy to meet others who are here long term. If you would like contact me off list, please do so. Wassalam Helen "

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" Hi Lynda, I''m presently reviewing a job offer from a Malaysian company. This would mean moving to KL - with my wife and 8 month old baby girl. I have plenty of pre-move questions and would love to hear from you, my email ID is <a href=""mailto:schandavarkar@hotmail.com"">schandavarkar at hotmail dot com</a> "

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" Hi Sachin, I will personally e-mail you later this evening as I am off to the office right now. Just out of curiosity, which company are you working for? My HO in KL have a relocation package, which is really beneficial to newcomers to Malaysia. It puts you on the right path immediately, and includes home hunting, arranging schools, car hire, general settling in etc. If you let me know your company details and who to contact, perhaps we can offer them this service. If not I will be more than happy to answer all your quieres. I will mail you this evening...Kindest regards, Lynda "

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" Hi Sachin, Sorry the reply I sent you came up as Lynda on the bulletin board..please look for it. Rgds Lynda "

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" Hi Helen. Thanks for the reply and your comments. I apologise if my messages sounded a little ''abrupt''. I understand that the comments made by you and others here are to give ''prospective expats'' an idea of what life is like in Malaysia, but I still feel that they are a little negative and that they could be tempered with the many positive sides of living here. If I had read some of the comments here before I came to Malaysia I''m not sure that I would have come!!!! As you know its a very daunting prospect to ''pull up your roots'' and move to a new country....lets give those that are doing it a little support!! You asked about my first time in Malaysia...I was very lucky in that I had a holiday here for a month so that I could ''make up my mind'' whether or not I wanted to take that ''big step''. Not many people have that advantage. I was in ''culture shock'' when I first arrived but, by the time my month was up, I didn''t want to leave. I can''t say I haven''t had problems adjusting to life here, I have, and there will always be something I compare to my ''old life'', but, on the whole, I am confident I made the right choice and am very happy here. To finish on a very ''positive'' note......a lot of expats that I have met were not too happy with relocating to Malaysia in the beginning (some companies give an ''inconvenience allowance'' to people moving here!!!!) but, when the husbands company says their contract in Malaysia is up and they have to go home or to another posting they don''t want to go. Can''t be such a bad place to live!!!!!! "

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" May I try again to put a balanced perspective (since my first posting back in March). As I said before, I''ve lived here for ten years, initially as a very privileged expat, but for the last six as a local, with a local business partner and a local life partner (different partners!). Let''s look at some of the ""negatives"" which Aisha, Helen and one or two others have raised. Yes, I accept that one can easily find a lot of litter, rubbish strewn where it sould not be, etc, but, I''m afraid this isn''t unique to Malaysia or even Asia (eg New York, London etc). Sure the driving standards are at times appalling, but as long as you don''t join them in their antics, what''s the problem, you sure aren''t going to change them. Drive defensively as you were probably taught when you first learned to drive. The little unwelcome creatures - roaches, geckos, rats etc - hey guys, do me a favour, New York is the world''s cockroach capital, and their rat population lives a lot better than ours do. I guess in all of this what I am trying to say is that it''s all a matter of perspective (and education). Not too long ago I was driving behind a Malaysian driver and we were stopped at traffic lights. He opened his door and tossed out a coke can. I calmly got out of the car and retrieved the can and handed it back to the very startled driver, with a smile on my face, saying it would be a great idea to find a bin or dispose of it at home, as the people who live around ""here"" would probably be grateful for his not using their street as a bin. He was so apologetic and we shook hands with no problems. I venture to suggest if I''d tried that in New York or London I''d probably be writing this from a hospital bed. This is a country where you will have enormous pleasures and enormous frustrations in roughly equal proportions. But isn''t that true of anywhere? If you can accept the frustrations, changing those which are in your power to change, you''ll have a great time here. If on the other hand, as someone said in the forum, you merely complain, ""coz it''s not the same as home"", then I''m sorry for you, as you''ll miss out on a terrific and rewarding experience. And lastly, to Aisha, who started all this, and Helen who noted that yes, I am in business here: the few expats my company has helped get settled here have received a very balanced introduction, as it would do me no favours at all to paint a rosy picture when all I''ll get in return is grief from them when they find I''d been selective. By the way, dealing with expats is a miniscule part of our business. We''re management and HR consultants to local companies and a few multi-nationals. Cheers Mike "

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