Well you are going to have to explain some things a bit more clearly for anyone to try and provide any kind of relevant opinion.

For example, it is not unusual for someone who vacations in a place for a few weeks a year to say, 'Oh, I like being there so much more than back home'. Why wouldn't they, they are on vacation there and at home they have to deal with REAL life and all it's problems and responsibilities.

A lot of places look wonderful when you are on vacation but may not be so wonderful if you are living and working there. Then the same issues you had in your previous home may simply reappear in your new home.

This is not to say that someone could not be happier living somewhere else. You say you have been there 5 months in the last 4 years. But were you on vacation or working there? That can make a big difference.

What are the things you like there and what are the things you don't like where you live now? Often, it isn't where you live that makes someone unhappy, it is what you DO that makes you unhappy, most often to do with what job you do. Being unhappy with your life doesn't mean running away from it will solve that or that you could not make changes where you are that would make you happy staying where you are.

You have to be able to really determine what is the real issue you need to address. Sometimes you can figure that out by asking yourself WHY repeatedly until you get to the root cause.

Why am I unhappy? Because I am living here. Why am I unhappy living here? Because my life is boring? Why is my life boring? Because I have a crap job, no partner, no money and nothing I can see to look forward to.

Can you see that nowhere in that list of answers to WHY, will living somewhere else necessarily solve the problem.

My experience has been that many people who think that moving to another country is the solution to their problems, are just running away from something, not running towards something.

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Hi OldPro,

thanks for your response.
Yes, you are right I did not explain enough.
I will try to answer your questions.



Yes, I was studying and living there twice
I do not have major concerns about my life, I actually think I have a good future ahead of me, whether I chose my home country or overseas, however I think my problem at the moment is that I feel at home, in a place which isn’t my current home
My life is going in the direction I want, but I think it hit me hard when you realize that you’re living where you feel you don’t belong. I have friends, I have a life, but I feel detached from this country, every time I come back I realise this even more, how I don’t belong, and have compensated a bit without realizing, by having friends which almost all are international, because in that sense we do have a strange similarity

I do also think that living in that country will deal with this reverse homesickness/sadness because
- I have found a country which has matched me much more than my home country,
- I do not have a lot of family here, nor over there, but we live very far away from each other in my home country which encourages feelings of detachment
- Heritage links
- cultural upbringing in home country which isnt of the home country
- I don't feel like i can relate to my home countries culture but can more over there
- not many of my friends originate from this home country and I tend to gravitate to people like this for a reason ever since I was young

- very high living costs in my country which makes it difficult for many to buy a home
- cannot really tolerate the positives and negatives of my home country, but can tolerate the positives and negatives of the other country (I am aware of these due to my studies, and exchange there), as they fit more with my own tendencies

I think when I sent this message last week I was probably more wanting to see if anyone else has been in the same situation, so I can see that I am not alone in this. I am feeling better now-a-days, but i think the foundations stay there.
And regarding running away from problems, I have created more problems with the whole process of directing my goals to there, we all know it’s not easy to migrate. but I do it gladly because I appreciate that country a lot. I have travelled to other countries too, I never felt that feeling of home or that pull.

I want to emphasize first that I am not running away from my problems, and I do not see that country as perfection and as a solution for my problems. For when I studied and lived there twice its obvious that my own personal problems stayed, but I felt a lot happier there and felt much more that I belonged, due to the above.

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P.S I am sorry i forgot to also say,

that yes , I am at times happy here, but I am not at one with my surroundings and their customs, mentality etc. and that I cannot change I have come to learn...

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In that case then I would say go ahead and make the move if you can.

I believe we all have until we are around 35 to do as we please. It is only at around that age that we should have our future direction figured out pretty much. If we get their sooner then that's fine but we have that amount of time if we need it.

Having lived in various countries, I can tell you that there is no way to know if someone will 'stick' or not when they move to another country. The only way to find out is to try it.

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