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Moving Anxiety

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12/12/2017 15:46 EST

Hi everyone. Let me tell you my story. I’m from the US and my fiancé is from Spain. We have an approved fiancée visa (known as K1) so he can move with me (the visa expires in 2 months). Recently, his company (he is an engineer) offered him a good increase and an job offer for me in his company (in the same field in working right now in the US). We have saving to start our lives in both country and we both speak both English and Spain. We both are close to our families; probably I’m more than him. I work here in the US and I can support him until he finds a job. In my area, we don’t think he’ll have lot of problems.

So this choice on where to leave together (either in Spain or the US) has left us in an analysis paralysis that is taking too long. It’s really breaking my heart and I get anxiety about making the “wrong” decision.

I started waking up in the middle of the night with my heart racing for no apparent reason. So many days I can’t sleep at night. I am feeling a lot of anxiety about this, not that I don't want it (we are absolutely committed to be together).... just fear of the unknown I guess. I didn’t have these feelings until we knew about the increase and the job offer.

Thoughts and ideas please.

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12/13/2017 04:02 EST

For some people the fear of making the wrong decision, often leads them them making no decision. Perhaps if you broke it down into specific areas? Running the numbers is important. Once you can give yourself the confidence that the money works out, you can concentrate on the next steps. Then you can sort your emotional turmoil, which your letter kind of suggests may be one of your bigger sticking points.

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12/13/2017 08:31 EST

Remember that every decision can be undone. Put the pros and cons on paper and make a decision together, based on facts. You are young. With any luck, your life will be long. Wherever you choose doesn't have to be forever. Life is a series of decisions and adventures. It's a journey, not a destination.

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1/12/2018 17:57 EST

There is nothing bad about moving out. If you do move out and feel stressed contact the psychologists he/she should be able to help you.

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