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marrying a separated filipina

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johnsam
  4/19/2012 09:45 EST

hi ..want to marry my filipina girlfriend, 59 yrs old. She is separated but did not get court papers due to expenses...neither annulment. was advised we can marry in hongkong or macau...what can she bring to prove she is has been single since 6 years now and i am divorced years ago already. Please help.

jnieurzyla
  4/23/2012 18:52 EST

You could be heading for big trouble, if she was married in Philippines, then you cannot get divorced, its against the law, though various lawyers will try to screw as much as they can from you getting annulments, they are very expensive. Divorce abroad for her, does not count here..
Are you sure her ex is still alive?? if not, then no problem.
If he is not, and you still want to live together, and the ex finds out, you could be blackmailed, as there is a new law just come out about committing adultery, and he could try to screw you for everything you have.
If you do want to stay together, then you will have to move to an area where she or her family is not known, and she cannot tell anyone where she is, cos they love to gossip!!!! Believe me, the gossip here is insidious.

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peabody
  4/24/2012 09:25 EST

I apologize for asking a personal question without prior permission from you, but are you nuts?

johnsam
  4/26/2012 07:42 EST

why NUTS? Hey, im here for advise and help....not for anyone to callus such! Let me say this...if falling in love between two people is a right, things that have happened prior to both our lives, we did not plan. Now, since we met, i think we deserve or even anyone for that matter, DESERVE A SECOND CHANCE, IF THAT IS NUTTY TO YOU, THAT IS NOT TO ME! GOT IT? Dont reply to my query if you have nothing better to advise. I would understand , you must have lesser gray matter in there, or a heart of rock, or totally having a devastating life at the moment. I am only here for help, not to be insulted!!!!

CAteacher
  4/27/2012 00:19 EST

The previous writer was unkind in what he said. But his point was accurate - no document that you aquire in another country will allow you to be 'married' in a legal sense in the Philippines. However, as someone else counsuled, many people will be more than willing to take your money and promise you that they can help. Beware, my friend.

johnsam
  4/27/2012 00:58 EST

Thanks CA Teacher, that is very kind of you. As I read all advise on here, does it mean that there is no chance for us to be married anywhere? But I know a lot of filipinos married to foreign nationals who were once married in their country. Does it mean that their marriages are never binding? If so, how can I make my fiance secured and happy if I could not marry her? Will living together without marriage be our only option? What about marrying in Las Vegas? And she files divorce for her ex husband there. We read somewhere that is recognized in her country since an article was passed there 2005, that if a filipino marries a foreign national and becomes naturalized, the filipino spouse can file and grant divorce to their ex, granting them capability to remarry too. Please help, as this issue can make me lose ground of our long time plans, dreams and life together. I am lost. I want to spend a new life with her as my last card in life.

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johnsam
  4/27/2012 01:06 EST

Besides, I m not getting into any help for exchange of money , as many say on here, they could grind me. And that makes me very dependent on how people can help me her through expat resources website, simply for the sake of helping and advise, without expecting for any in return. I am looking forward that someone out there help us cross our bridge in this senior years of our lives. I owe my partner too much for waiting for 8 long years just to join life together. I shall be very grateful for a guided path for us.Thank you.

CAteacher
  4/27/2012 11:52 EST

I'll check about the legality of a Las Vegas divorce. I know it requires that you be present in the state for at least 6 weeks. That requires airfare and cost of living in the U.S. for six week. Not cheap. Whether a Philippine citizen can divorce/annul a Philippine marriage and have the divorce honored in the Philippines is something I can check on. Are you a U.S. citizen?

johnsam
  4/27/2012 12:06 EST

thanks CA teacher. I would appreciate if there other options you can suggest if you think staying in Vegas for 6 weeks will be too much for us. I admit, it must be. No, Im not a US citizen, im from UK.

jglans
  4/27/2012 13:43 EST

When I lived in the Philippines, I was able to get a divorce from a Phil. national in Guam by establishing residency there by being present for 7 days. However, we were married in the U.S., and no there is absolutely NO divorce in the Philippines if your would be spouse was married in the Philippines. If you are hoping to live with her in the Philippines as a recognized spouse, it will never happen. Perhaps you could reside together and get married in another country where it would be recognized. Where are you/she living now?

jglans
  4/27/2012 13:45 EST

And to add on.....the divorce would NEVER be honored in the Philippines and would need to be first obtained in the 2nd country.

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jglans
  4/27/2012 13:45 EST

And to add on.....the divorce would NEVER be honored in the Philippines and would need to be first obtained in the 2nd country.

eppnrpi
  4/27/2012 20:43 EST

johnsam:
I've been reading with some interest your thread and it became the subject of discussion w/my wife last night, so, for your edification here is what I found out.
A colleague of my wife, another professor, also a Filipina, was able to obtain an "annulment" after more than ten years of marriage and two children. It was granted about five years ago.
Though she did have an attorney, she did the processing herself, apparently saving her considerably. The first and major consideration is that it was a friendly break-up. The whole process cost her in excess of P120,000 that's about $2,850US.
So we know that it is possible, however, is neither cheap or easy! Believe me, absolutely NOTHING with the courts here is easy a lot of running here, running there, copies here, copies there, fee for this, fee for that, notary for this, notary for that.....
But, look at the bright side, it IS POSSIBLE!
I would warn you here, DO NOT just ignore the process, it is made difficult for a purpose and you leave yourselves open to both civil and criminal problems if you ignore it, for you it would probably mean that you would be deported and "black-listed" for re-entry, she could end up in prison!
My suggestion would be for her to refer to her separation papers then visit the courthouse where they were issued and inquire what she will have to do to get this formalized so that she is able to legally marry again!
Hope this helps.... Good Luck!

johnsam
  4/29/2012 00:50 EST

hi...thank you very much to you and your wife for taking time to discuss our predicament. i appreciate everything. But one line along your reply caught my attention. My girlfriend is neither annuled or LEGALLY separated. It was too expensive for her to go through the process that time even more so this time. She said, she tried referring her case to few lawyers to have it formalized, but when lawyers would ask if she is remarrying ...they would charge her for additional this and that...And she said, that is when they find out she intends to marry a foreigner. Meaning, it boils down to money or subtle extortion, as she defines. Until she gave up on working her case and left it to fate. Maybe right, but not until I came along. Now we have plans, but at the way things are advised to me here on, will our dreams simply remain as dreams? Will our illusions turn into delusions? We can always live and be together without marriage, if things are unresolved, but i wont be happy myself, because I promised her, come hell or high water, i will marry her because I love her and I want her to experience no more being abandoned or be desperate of being alone again. She is 59 and me 67. She is a very gracious decent woman , despite her age, remains beautiful. i still believe she deserves the finest if not the best treatment one can be offered.

johnsam
  4/29/2012 01:18 EST

meaning she can divorce her ex husband in another country, file it there..and then send divorce papers to phils?thank u so much jglans

johnsam
  4/29/2012 01:21 EST

she is still living in Manila now, and I am still in UK.

eppnrpi
  4/29/2012 22:22 EST

johnsam:
I'm afraid that you hit the nail right on the head....it all comes down to her legal status here! You may be willing to go thru "...hell or high water", but this is a battle that she will have to fight. If she truly wishes for both of you to be together and live here in the Islands, the ONLY way is for her to follow the procedures that are required!!
I respect your feelings and applaud your your sense of responsibility here, but this has nothing to do with you, it is her past, it is her responsibility to get the "paperwork" done. Believe me your getting involved with any of this will simply cost more!!
With her current status she CAN NOT LEGALLY marry ANYWHERE in the world, she is STILL MARRIED until she completes filing and is awarded an annulment!
So really it is all up to her, you could live together (outside the Philippines) but that does not sound like what you desire and I understand that, but let's face it, that is the reality!
I guess the only suggestion I would make is to have her check a new attorney, don't tell him she wishes to re-marry, just that she simply wants to finalize the annulment so that she can complete a will and name beneficiaries for her estate and wants to be sure her "former husband" and his family have no standing when it comes to inheritance, because as Philippine law goes as I understand it, her entire estate goes to him upon her death UNLESS there is an annulment! That argument should stop any questions about a foreigner being involved.
I know the process is scary for a Filipino, they really are afraid, in general, of dealing with the courts or the government, but you just need to assure her that IT IS THE ONLY WAY and if marriage is what SHE REALLY WANTS too she will just have to clinch her teeth and make her way through the process.
We wish you all the best of luck!
God Bless!

johnsam
  4/30/2012 00:19 EST

thank you eppnrpi...so much! everything you wrote is true and are both fully aware of the law, as she fully explained to me. Truth of the matter is...I am the only one persistent to marry her, despite her saaying , it is only a piece of paper. besides, if it is about HER estates,as she said "being conjugal". and scared that it might all go to her ex and his new partner, she already made a notarized will that all goes to the names of her 3 sons alone. She wanted to file a case of concubinage against her ex, (being still considered married to her legally, yet living with another partner), which she thought would be easier and less costly for her to get the annulment. She is seriously thinking of that , but i could not help her decide as i am not familiar with her country articles. If you say so that this is a better option, then this might be the answer, as she thought. But as always, she suggests what the piece of paper is not that necessary anymore after all, she is not interested of becoming naturalized, but just spend our remaining time together. Then, this sinks in my head like I am the one giving her all the heartache and hardships for insisting that I WANT to marry her, and sounded like without it, we can't be together, don't you think eppnrpi? Yes, you are right, it is maybe about my sense of responsibility and being fair with her for being there waiting for me to throw the dice for the past 8 years. Now, i get guilty understanding.By the way, from what country are you, if you don't mind? You seem a nice friend.

jglans
  4/30/2012 00:36 EST

johnsam - I did not mean to imply that the divorced outside of the Philippines could be taken back and recognized in the Philippines.......I strongly doubt that it would, which is why I asked where the two of you live now and where do you plan to live in the future? I don't want to sound like a pessimist, but having lived for quite a while in the Philippines in the past, I know that money can buy you almost anything. But if you are able to obtain "papers" from particular authorities, if there are nationwide laws against divorce, I wouldn't count on those papers being recognized anywhere you go..... Apologize for being the pessimist, but I think that is the reality....

eppnrpi
  4/30/2012 18:21 EST

johnsam:
In response to your question, I'm an American expat, a former general contractor from Arizona. I married a Filipina and relocated to Mindanao ten years ago. Now enjoying building our "dream home" (we've been working on it for 7 years now)! I'm a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to building so I've come to the realization that if I want it done right then do it yourself and since we get wood straight from the chainsaw we have to season and dry the wood ourselves then mill and plane to size before we can build with it. For instance for our hardwood floor I lost count at 1,400pcs, cutting, planing, sanding, then machining "tongue and grooves", in short, that took almost a year!!

Now, back to you.... I think the whole idea of bringing "a case" against her ex is a bad idea.... there's nothing good that can come from that! It will do no good and will simply "muddy the water", better to spend your efforts in positive pursuits. The good thing about his "moving on" is he can not fight an annulment!
However, just because he has decided to live with another woman does not mean that its ok for you to do the same. If you decide to move here and "co-habitate" you, as a foreigner will be held to a higher standard. And if his family discovers it, the odds are pretty good that someone will want to blackmail you because when they look at you they see "wallet"!
As for her will and estate she'd better check that, it is my understanding that she CAN NOT simply leave him out of her will, inheritance laws FORBID it! My research on this matter has shown me that these inheritance laws go back to Spanish colonial times and have been codified into law. My understanding is the only time a surviving spouse does not inherit is with real estate when the surviving spouse is a foreigner, since foreigners are not allowed to own property here! So she should double check!
I still think the best bet (and right thing) is to carry on with the annulment process!

Oleanna821
  1/22/2013 19:03 EST

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A LEGAL ADVICE AND I AM NOT A LAWYER. I merely, read the family law in the Philippines and the immigration law in the U.S. You still need to consult with immigration lawyers to be able to give you a proper and legal advice with your situation.
If your girlfriend is able to come to the U.S., and stayed in Las Vegas for 6 weeks, she can then file a divorce. Once she is divorce and have the decree, you can then get married. After the wedding, you are to file a petition for spouse and at the same time file an adjustment of status. When the petition is approved and she receive her permanent status/Green card. She is still under a conditional status for 2 years, as your marriage is new. 90 days before the 2 years period expire, you will have to file a removal of conditional status for spouse for her to become a U.S. Permanent resident. If you were born in the U.S. your spouse can file her citizenship after a year. Meaning, 2 years of conditional status and 1 year of being a permanent residents. Immigration only requires 5 years of the other spouse to be citizen so the permanent residents' spouse can file a citizenship. Now, for her marriage in the Philippines, there is no way that the divorce she had filed in the U.S. be acknowledge by Philippine court as foreign judgment, because at the thime she filed the divorce, she was still a filipino citiizen and therefore still a subject of Philippine government. For your marriage to be legal, you should re-file a divorce here in the u.s. and then send the decree to the philippines and file a motion to court for acknowledgment of foreign judgment. That way, the new divorce shows and prove that your spouse is no longer a filipino citizen.

okreutz
  1/28/2013 12:50 EST

johnsam,

as you can imagine there are a lot of these cases in teh philippines due to teh absence of divorce. in the little village my wife is from about 25% of wome live with a "husband" that is their second or third mate and is not legally tehir husband. Even so, everyone around treats them as a family etc.
So, unless you're hung up on that piece of paper, go live with the lady of your dreams, be happy and don't worry about a piece of paper.

pinaymentor
  1/28/2013 17:55 EST

this is why I love this group. Everyone is truly helping each other! Kudos to all of you who have been actively sharing and helping out!

Things to consider when making this life long commitment:
1. Your fiancee can file an annulment and it can be done in months with the right lawyer outside of Metro Manila which will cost you about P150k and above. She will have to go through the court system several times perhaps the shortest is in one year.
2. This will mean it will cost you money and it seemed like it will come from you. This is a worthwhile investment as compared to what peace can give you in the long run.
3. If she decides to live with you without annulment, when she pass on, anything that she owns are to be divided between him and her kids and that is the Philippine law.
Even if she has a will, the law states that the spouse is to get 50% and the rest to the kids and his kids from the other woman.
4. I will check my friend's lawyer who did her annulment in a year and get back to you on that one.
5. This means that you still have to wait patiently till its done before you can move forward to marriage.
6. When you are ready to move forward, let us know so we can help you settle here comfortably.

Meantime, enjoy life together. Life is short, enjoy everyday as if it's your last day!

Pinaymentor
Plan well. invest well.insure well.live well....

peter7
  1/29/2013 05:11 EST

Good Morning , I have been down this road , and eventually married my Filipina Bride in The Philippines . We now live in UK , but have homes and family in both countries . So all I add to the very correct comments given ......IS ...you will be lucky to get it done for under 150k pesos , and try not allow her Lawyer to know you are a Cannock/Foreigner ....This will draw it out and so much money will go under the table ..Remember You cannot trust a Filipino ...You can love them but never trust !!!

sweetheart
  12/6/2013 02:42 EST

hello ! Johnsam, If your fiance still married in Philippine.. she can file a divorce here in Hongkong, you can enquire to legal aid Hongkong. my application of divorce is almost done.. but the divorce certificate cannot use in Philippine..only other country like hongkong.. you can get married here. Goodluck

Thechaser
  2/10/2014 06:46 EST

The statement that you can divorce is MISLEADING. At least one of the parties has to prove residence or a strong connection to Hong Kong to apply for divorce.
This is not the case for the couple asking for help. Please do not B**lsh*t people who need real help !!!!!

garywigle
  2/10/2014 18:46 EST

She is a married woman. You are nuts!

TonyC
  2/10/2014 22:57 EST

My friend, have you seen her original marriage certificate to prove that she was married ?

chance2013
  2/10/2014 23:52 EST

Personally if your going to live in the philippines then I would just live together choose a place miles away from her ex and just enjoy each other your lady is right it's just a piece of paper. If you want to take her to uk there must be a way of getting a divorce somewhere else not sure how tho. But for me just live together many do here with the laws as they are here many many couples just live together with their bf/husband not the big issue you might think it is

standupguy
  2/11/2014 01:33 EST

My Filipina wife needed to annul her failed marriage. She separated from her husband for 7 years and there were no children. She also suffered physical abuse from him. Our lawyer charged us $4,000 Canadian, though we over paid by $600 bu comparison with the price of annulments in Davao given to Filipino's. Our lawyer tried holding back on processing documents, particularly the NSO ones. So my wife told him that I would not give her any more money and was returning to Canada because he could not marry. However, we processed the documents ourselves in Davao. Look on line about the process since I got most of my information from Philippine law firm websites on the subject. We had to get a psychological report in support of the annulment and pay off the judge. It took about a year. I would definitely urge you to get a Philippine legal annulment. There are real obstacles if you don't have one because the Commission on Filipinos Overseas will block her exit visa. You also have to prove to the CFO that you are a person of outstanding character and support your wife honorably.

Some of the people on this website make their comments using extreme language to over-emphasize
their point. Disregard their impolite delivery, though there may be some merit in what they say.

standupguy
  2/11/2014 16:49 EST

One footnote on the Annulment process: one difficulty may be if her ex-husband will not sign the consent agreement to annul their marriage. They may be angling for a pay off. My wife's ex-husband agreed to annul their marriage since he already had a common-law with kids by her and he held no grudges. Good Luck

JWilliamsflask
  4/1/2014 09:53 EST

Dear Oleanna821,

Very interesting. So I would assume that I would bring her over on a tourist visa? She establishes residency in Vegas for 6 weeks. Tell me, does she have to literally stay in Vegas? I live in Tucson.

I’m just trying to find a way to solve our problem. Any non-legal advice would be most helpful. Thank you sir for your time.

Regards,
John W.

chance2013
  4/2/2014 00:42 EST

My feeling is the ex husband would demand a lot of money before will sign annulment especially if his wife is with a wealthy foreigner

standupguy
  4/2/2014 01:14 EST

Not true in all circumstances. My wife's husband signed the form. He all ready had 3 kids by his common law. In some cases of Muslim marriage a dowry is given and that would have to be repaid.

chopper23
  4/2/2014 11:16 EST

Don't do it sounds like trouble she has to have an annulment, or it will come back and hunt you if know annulment do not marry you are asking for a world of hurt.

chopper23
  4/2/2014 11:26 EST

if she loves you like you say you love her she knows that there is know way NO way she can marry you without paying for annulment give her the money to get an annulment and then she what happen you will see is she really loves you. You have to listen to the guys here on this site we have been there done that and is trying to help you cause she knows she can't marry you legally and if you ever live in the philippines you are not consider marry watch her closely something tells me you will find out the hard way. Guys here have years of experince that you don't we are just warning you of the dangers and you have a red flag DANGER.

chopper23
  4/2/2014 11:34 EST

Hey how long have you known her, a dating site, do you know her family have you met her family and kids find out much as you can about her you have a long uphill battle just being honest and she knows this it will cost you a lot and the lawyers want stop once they see you it could take years I am serious been there done that and if I was you do a background check on her it could save your life, just keeping it real you can thank me later.

standupguy
  4/2/2014 14:39 EST

Package deal for an annulment in Davao is 190,000 pesos which pays the judge for a "quick decision", pays the psychologist for the report that is needed. I got to know my wife's family and all that, but we knew we were solid from the beginning. You might need to cut the lawyer loose like we did. They delay the filing of the final round of documents with the NSO. Since we had the documents on our last payment, my wife told the lawyer she couldn't get any more money from me since it wasn't final. So since we couldn't get married then, I was returning to Canada. We took our "decision" and other documents (receipts), then did the last round of filing to avoid the additional bills her lawyer was after. My wife's annulment took 6 months.

Like I said before, her ex-husband singed the annulment document. It was no big deal. I found out all the information on the Web beforehand. Your lawyer would need to file the documents in the court house in the city were they were married. That same courthouse is the office that sends all the documents ("decision", etc.) to the NSO in Manila. After two weeks, my wife went to the NSO office in Davao and got her "Cenomar" to show her previous marriage is "null & void". We showed the Davao municipality the "decision", "the Cenomar" and the other documents and gave us the marriage licence. Once we were married and got our marriage certificate from the Judge, we got our NSO marriage certificate which is the legal one.

I heard it lots of times "never trust a filipina", and responded with confidence that "I'm a good judge of character". I didn't need a private eye or anything. I got to know the her family members.

They complained they would get a nose bleed if they had to speak so much English.

Good luck to you.

standupguy
  4/2/2014 14:39 EST

Package deal for an annulment in Davao is 190,000 pesos which pays the judge for a "quick decision", pays the psychologist for the report that is needed. I got to know my wife's family and all that, but we knew we were solid from the beginning. You might need to cut the lawyer loose like we did. They delay the filing of the final round of documents with the NSO. Since we had the documents on our last payment, my wife told the lawyer she couldn't get any more money from me since it wasn't final. So since we couldn't get married then, I was returning to Canada. We took our "decision" and other documents (receipts), then did the last round of filing to avoid the additional bills her lawyer was after. My wife's annulment took 6 months.

Like I said before, her ex-husband singed the annulment document. It was no big deal. I found out all the information on the Web beforehand. Your lawyer would need to file the documents in the court house in the city were they were married. That same courthouse is the office that sends all the documents ("decision", etc.) to the NSO in Manila. After two weeks, my wife went to the NSO office in Davao and got her "Cenomar" to show her previous marriage is "null & void". We showed the Davao municipality the "decision", "the Cenomar" and the other documents and gave us the marriage licence. Once we were married and got our marriage certificate from the Judge, we got our NSO marriage certificate which is the legal one.

I heard it lots of times "never trust a filipina", and responded with confidence that "I'm a good judge of character". I didn't need a private eye or anything. I got to know the her family members.

They complained they would get a nose bleed if they had to speak so much English.

Good luck to you.

philover
  4/2/2014 17:08 EST

Johnsam,
I have been reading this and just wanted to add a few things. I had a Filipina girlfriend who had there grown children. youngest 16. She had been separated from her husband for 15 yrs. We were able to get her marriage annulled and previous posts as to cost are accurate, we spent just under $3000 US.
Trying to get your gf out of Manila would be a major hurdle first of all if you sought to get a divorce in another country. As far as I know she would not be granted a visa, probably not even as a tourist , which in itself is very difficult. She cannot get a fiancee visa obviously. She cannot lie when making application for a visa since all visas require a physical exam and the doctors know whether or not a woman has given birth, I dont recall if you said she had kids or not.
Your best bet would be to persue the most logical means that is legal and that is annulment. I could put you in touch with a lawyer I used in Manila 15 yrs ago, but I dont know that he is still alive or practicing law.

standupguy
  4/2/2014 23:13 EST

Fiipina's married to Westerners cannot leave the Philippines without getting an exit visa from the Commission of Filipinos Overseas. This includes a one-to-one counselling session which is difficult to pass even with everything tickety-boo. They are going to let your gf out of the country until you have done due diligence there first. Filipina's who are married and want to live common law with their bf are not going to get their exit visa.

BillLeland
  4/3/2014 03:21 EST

agreed, that's how those rat bastard pinoys think
How to cheat you and you only want to move on with your life want no problems. Mrs. P: AKA pINAY THINKS i'M TO HARSH i'LL HAVE THE LAST LAUGH HERE.
BILL

BillLeland
  4/3/2014 03:23 EST

i HAVE NO USE FOR THOSE ABOGADOS PINOYS WITH A LAW LICENSE HOW DOES IT GET WORSE? BILL

standupguy
  4/7/2014 13:58 EST

I have posted comments on getting an annulment previously. To marry a Canadian, you must get an annulment first. There are no short-cuts. You will not be able to enter Canada unless you have a valid annulment and NSO marriage certificate. Citizenship and Immigration Canada has a useful website. They will not give you a temporary Visa if they know you have a personal relationship with a Canadian since they don't want Filipina's getting married in Canada and then applying to be a Permanent Resident under the Spouse category while still in Canada. The Embassy in Manila will not give you any information or if they do it will be too ambiguous to know what you are missing. Immigration will want to see all "records" of your relationship, photos, boarding passes, etc. to determine that your relationship is a valid one or if you are trying to scam Immigration. My Filipina was very confrontational with our lawyer who was trying to string me along for additional payments. Once we had the court "decision" , we finished the processing ourself. I am retired so I was living in Davao the whole time. Our lawyer was a block away. My wife had to tell him that she could not get anymore money from me and I was returning to Canada since we couldn't get married yet. When I returned a few months later, we finished the filing process ourselves and got married in Davao.
then I submitted all the documents & forms Immigration needed , but we had a 9 month waiting period. I was approved to be her sponsor after 3 months by the Case Processing Unit in Mississauga, Ontario. That was based on my income and sworn undertaking to support my wife for 3 years. There is no way to contact the Embassy in Manila, They will not reply unless it is to obtain further documentation (high school records, etc.). Finally my wife's Permanent Resident Visa was issued. It is time limited for about 2 1/2 months. If you don't go to Canada in that time, you have to start all over again and pay the $1,040 CAN again. The cost is probably higher now. Getting your exit Visa from the Commission of Filipino's Overseas in difficult too. I was on hand for that in Cebu. My wife had copies of all our documents on her cell phone, like the bill of sale for our home, birth certificate, annulment documents, marriage documents, etc. My wife and another Filipina were the only 2 to get exit Visas out of 12 Filipina's. Once in Canada, we went to the Multicultural Centre in Nanaimo, BC also called the Welcome Centre. They paid for several courses for my wife and provide her with free English upgrading. They also committed to pay for a University programme in Health Care. That is why the cost for the Permanent Resident Visa was so expensive. The Welcome centre gets their funding that way. You have to use a courier to send/receive stuff to the Embassy in Manila. I never got my decision from the Case Processing Centre in Mississauga, ON. since it went missing in the Philippine mail. I dealt with that on one of my return trips to Canada since the CPC will only receive domestic calls.
Keep a copy of everything you sent. I brought my desktop computer and printer to Davao. I had to use a converter for the printer, but my HP desktop had a switch in back for 220 volt current.

BillLeland
  4/7/2014 17:45 EST

The tamad abogatdos drag stuff out and view this as thier income stream. a 10 year seperation will accomplish the annulment.
Bill
Listen up peckerwoods I know these pinoy lawyers are bottom feeders.

ACEPoolPlayer
  4/8/2014 07:58 EST

In this case it's not only pinoy lawyers, it's all lawyers. My mother passed away two months ago. I'm still choosing an Attorney to work on the will and the probate process. I'm the executer of the will. Different Attorney's different prices. Initial fee, plus billable hours.... What a joke, "billable hours". Who knows what they can make up and what that can add up to. Atleast in the Philippines you don't get charged per minute whether on the phone, in person or without someone timing them!!!!!!! Now this un official timed billable hours is real BS.

LovelyMe
  5/16/2014 16:36 EST

Technically yes, to prove residency. However, You should check the Arizona state law if they allow a foriegn visitor to file a divorce as most of the states does, but requires residency and depending on how long.

Dave48
  11/17/2015 09:51 EST

There is truth to the Hong Kong Divorce. My Filipina Fiance did it and she received a K-1 visa to come to U.S. to marry. You do have to be living in Hong Kong, not sure how long, but she was there at least two years and show strong ties to Hong Kong. This does not help her situation in the Philippines as she is still married there, but we will have her naturalized her and then try to get divorce recognized in philippines.

pam6159
  11/17/2015 12:53 EST

This situation is a potential disaster for all concerned. Regardless of the country (Philippines, Hong Kong, U.S., Australia, etc.) the laws all prohibit multiple marriages. That is the legal status you girlfriend would be in were she to marry you or anyone else anywhere else under the circumstances. And since you would be shown to have prior knowledge of the situation, your situation would not be much better.

I understand matters of the heart can be persuasive, and I don't like being the wet blanket, but it would be a seriously bad idea.

louisbecke
  11/17/2015 19:56 EST

I was with my past girlfriend for 9 years. She was separated for 15 years but when I filed for an annulment here they come threatening me with adultery charges and extortion. When you renew your visa's never but a separated women down as a contact or the same address as you they will use Immigration to prove adultery.

louisbecke
  11/17/2015 19:59 EST

Your not nutty bro lots of separated women here but you are is an opportunity for extortion by the husband even though he is with another girl and has children with her. Your a foreigner your wrong and you pay that's the way it is here.

standupguy
  11/17/2015 21:37 EST

louisbecke - my girlfriend was separated too. We got an annulment Her estranged husband ( for 7 years) agreed to it without asking for money. He had a girlfriend and 2 kids with her. They both committing adultery. He's not so bad a chap, just physically abusive. My wife separated for 7 years. It's not as bad as you describe.

louisbecke
  11/17/2015 23:35 EST

My experience was that bad as was an Australian in Mariveles. he was jailed on adultery charges. I had to leave the country for 3 months then come back to a different address so there would be no evidence. This was suggested to me by Immigration because I would not pay the former husband so they registered a complaint with Immigration.

wilbur043
  11/18/2015 02:19 EST

It might not be as bad as he describes Stand Up Guy but, what he described does happen. I remember an episode of the TV show Locked Up Abroad where a Brit got arrested for adultery here. His girlfriend was separated and her husband had nothing to do with her until he found she was pregnant by the Brit. He had them both arrested for adultery and according to the show, even though he was not the father of the baby, it was his baby because he was still married to the girl!
A friend of mine told me a girl he was chatting with on Filipina Cupid had her Australian husband arrested for adultery too. She had one of her friends seduce the guy and then the girl who seduced the husband took naked pictures of her and him in bed! She even sent my friend the pictures which he showed to me! I told him to stay as far away from that girl as possible!
Personally, I would not risk fooling with a separated woman. There are too many good, single women here to risk the rage of a jealous husband!

standupguy
  11/18/2015 04:10 EST

wilbur043 I saw the same documentary. That is the worst case scenario. Another threat is that the custom of immediately throwing out an unfaithful partner. Facebook can be a problem with friends requests. If compromising photos are sent to lure you and you respond, then the pnay will copy them in a message to your spouse which appears in your timeline. FB is easily spied on. It cuts both ways.

standupguy
  11/18/2015 04:25 EST

on a different note, my pnay wife says that close to 50% or her pnay friends left their husband because of inadequate size. The well endowed are at an advantage it seems, or at least the well matched.

catabisis
  11/18/2015 05:08 EST

It ain't the meat. It's the motion

louisbecke
  11/18/2015 06:14 EST

I hate Facebook. Filipinas are experts on finding things out. One slight post and they read all kinds of crap into it from their friends and family. Someone may post a photo of them at Starbucks that causes a storm or a new Iphone. Twice some idiot frinds of my wife thought they were bragging by posting a photo of their Passport, open with all information to see.

louisbecke
  11/18/2015 06:14 EST

I hate Facebook. Filipinas are experts on finding things out. One slight post and they read all kinds of crap into it from their friends and family. Someone may post a photo of them at Starbucks that causes a storm or a new Iphone. Twice some idiot frinds of my wife thought they were bragging by posting a photo of their Passport, open with all information to see.

louisbecke
  11/18/2015 06:14 EST

I hate Facebook. Filipinas are experts on finding things out. One slight post and they read all kinds of crap into it from their friends and family. Someone may post a photo of them at Starbucks that causes a storm or a new Iphone. Twice some idiot friends of my wife thought they were bragging by posting a photo of their Passport, open with all information to see.

louisbecke
  11/18/2015 06:16 EST

Sorry of the triple post screwed up internet here.

louisbecke
  11/18/2015 06:20 EST

If your going to do this you have to be very discreet about it. Make sure you live away from your family and nobody knows where you live. Don't put your girlfriend as a point of contact on visa extensions don't mention her anywhere not even as a reference. That's what got me in trouble.

louisbecke
  11/18/2015 06:23 EST

Listen close. As I stated last post read and heed. Also as long as nobody knows your in the picture the husband may not put up a fight but the minute he gets the papers believe me he will check with everyone she knows down to classmates if their is another man in the picture.

wilbur043
  11/18/2015 07:41 EST

Standupguy, from the posts of yours I have read,brought tend to be a little optimistic to say the least. You extolling the virtues of Davao while I wouldn't live on visit there if you paid me. I often wonder after reading your posts about Davao if you are on Duerte's payroll? On the other hand, some people on here make this sound like the worst place on earth to live. I have to wonder why those people stay here. I myself am a realist. I thoroughly researched this country before I came here for the first time. I know this isn't the paradise some people make it out to be nor is it as bad as some people claim.
You say you saw the same documentary so you know it dud happen. The second scenario I described had nothing to do with Facebook or social media. A girl my friend was chatting with knew or thought her Australian husband was cheating on her. So, she set him up. She had a friend seduce the guy. Her friend took naked pictures of her with the husband which the wife used to have him arrested for adultery! Yet, this girl had a profile on Filipino Cupid and was trying to hook up with my friend!
Worst case scenario? Maybe but it is a very real possibility. As I said in my previous post,with so many good single women here, PERSONALLY, it isn't worth it to full with a separated woman. That is just my opinion. You are entitled to your opinion.
By the way, in your previous posts you have stated you don't live here permanently yet. I do! When you live here permanently for awhile, let's see how big a cheerleader you are then!

wilbur043
  11/18/2015 07:41 EST

Standupguy, from the posts of yours I have read,brought tend to be a little optimistic to say the least. You extolling the virtues of Davao while I wouldn't live on visit there if you paid me. I often wonder after reading your posts about Davao if you are on Duerte's payroll? On the other hand, some people on here make this sound like the worst place on earth to live. I have to wonder why those people stay here. I myself am a realist. I thoroughly researched this country before I came here for the first time. I know this isn't the paradise some people make it out to be nor is it as bad as some people claim.
You say you saw the same documentary so you know it dud happen. The second scenario I described had nothing to do with Facebook or social media. A girl my friend was chatting with knew or thought her Australian husband was cheating on her. So, she set him up. She had a friend seduce the guy. Her friend took naked pictures of her with the husband which the wife used to have him arrested for adultery! Yet, this girl had a profile on Filipino Cupid and was trying to hook up with my friend!
Worst case scenario? Maybe but it is a very real possibility. As I said in my previous post,with so many good single women here, PERSONALLY, it isn't worth it to full with a separated woman. That is just my opinion. You are entitled to your opinion.
By the way, in your previous posts you have stated you don't live here permanently yet. I do! When you live here permanently for awhile, let's see how big a cheerleader you are then!

catabisis
  11/18/2015 07:45 EST

I'm with you. I absolutely despise Facebook. It is nothing but a drama-induced gossip column. It illustrates just how busy and nosy humans are capable of being.

catabisis
  11/18/2015 07:54 EST

Wilburo, I have been here two years and the honeymoon of this place is cracking. It will never make me miserable. I am flexible enough to roll with what comes, but this place is no paradise by anyone stretch.. It is one thing I deplore about Gary McMurrain at livinginthephilippines3. He and I had many conversations about this place. A lot of what he fed me was total BS. I still don't know why he thinks he has to be a White Knight for this place and these people.

louisbecke
  11/18/2015 07:55 EST

Visiting is great and no wonder anyone would want to live here. Problem is there is a world of difference between visiting here and living here. It's the third world with all it's problems. The Disneyland effect wears off then it's reality time. If you come to live here leave once a year. Go to Thailand or Singapore somewhere that's modern to de-compress or this place will get to you. Never get complacent with your security in jeeps or walking or talking to anyone from girls to cops to anyone in the Government. Never ever let anyone any girl no matter how cute engage you in conversation on the street. Too many scams. Young girl rape scams are rife here. When anyone ask you how long you have been living here it's not a friendly question but a probing question to see how smart you are on the BS they pull. Now I know it's not everywhere but follow the general rules.

wilbur043
  11/18/2015 08:37 EST

Hi catabis!
The Philippines isn't the worst place in the world to live but, it sure as hell ain't the Caribbean either!
Some foreigners live here out of necessity. It's where they can afford to live on their pension or Social Security. I don't have that problem. While I could not afford Saint Thomas, I sure as hell could afford some place like Belize. I live here by choice. I met and married a great girl who had 2 beautiful daughters. I am the only daddy they have ever known. I am a lucky man.
Having said that, I feel obligated to tell things they way they are in my opinion to people considering moving here. I tell all my friends who ask about living here, to come here and live for a year before deciding to live here permanently. This country isn't for everyone. I live in a very upscale subdivision but we still have problems with the developer and I have several foreigners leave the country after less then a year here. Hell, an American who lived here 3 years ago and just rented a house 3 weeks ago in my subdivision is already talking about leaving!
To sum it all up. I just think those of us who live here FULLTIME should tell it how it is based on our own experiences. I won't intentionally mislead people by being a cheerleader nor will I be overly negative either. I like it here but I knew before I moved here what to expect. I just try to share my experiences with others so they can make the same informed choice that I did. Isn't that why this forum exists?

wilbur043
  11/18/2015 08:37 EST

Hi catabis!
The Philippines isn't the worst place in the world to live but, it sure as hell ain't the Caribbean either!
Some foreigners live here out of necessity. It's where they can afford to live on their pension or Social Security. I don't have that problem. While I could not afford Saint Thomas, I sure as hell could afford some place like Belize. I live here by choice. I met and married a great girl who had 2 beautiful daughters. I am the only daddy they have ever known. I am a lucky man.
Having said that, I feel obligated to tell things they way they are in my opinion to people considering moving here. I tell all my friends who ask about living here, to come here and live for a year before deciding to live here permanently. This country isn't for everyone. I live in a very upscale subdivision but we still have problems with the developer and I have several foreigners leave the country after less then a year here. Hell, an American who lived here 3 years ago and just rented a house 3 weeks ago in my subdivision is already talking about leaving!
To sum it all up. I just think those of us who live here FULLTIME should tell it how it is based on our own experiences. I won't intentionally mislead people by being a cheerleader nor will I be overly negative either. I like it here but I knew before I moved here what to expect. I just try to share my experiences with others so they can make the same informed choice that I did. Isn't that why this forum exists?

wilbur043
  11/18/2015 08:37 EST

Hi catabis!
The Philippines isn't the worst place in the world to live but, it sure as hell ain't the Caribbean either!
Some foreigners live here out of necessity. It's where they can afford to live on their pension or Social Security. I don't have that problem. While I could not afford Saint Thomas, I sure as hell could afford some place like Belize. I live here by choice. I met and married a great girl who had 2 beautiful daughters. I am the only daddy they have ever known. I am a lucky man.
Having said that, I feel obligated to tell things they way they are in my opinion to people considering moving here. I tell all my friends who ask about living here, to come here and live for a year before deciding to live here permanently. This country isn't for everyone. I live in a very upscale subdivision but we still have problems with the developer and I have several foreigners leave the country after less then a year here. Hell, an American who lived here 3 years ago and just rented a house 3 weeks ago in my subdivision is already talking about leaving!
To sum it all up. I just think those of us who live here FULLTIME should tell it how it is based on our own experiences. I won't intentionally mislead people by being a cheerleader nor will I be overly negative either. I like it here but I knew before I moved here what to expect. I just try to share my experiences with others so they can make the same informed choice that I did. Isn't that why this forum exists?

standupguy
  11/18/2015 08:44 EST

wilbur043 - I started coming to the PH in 2011. I met my wife who was separated as I stated. Everything worked out for us no problemo. I lived in th PH for 10 months between 2012 & 2013. Then 8 months in 2014 returning for 6 months last October. I don't have your PH vintage, but a good idea of what life is like here. Davao is geographically the largest city in the world. I lived in a very nice modern 2 bedroom apartment in Matina a block from NCCC Mall. I worked out at Holiday Spa, and visited Samal Island. We didn't care for the urban environment so we bought our very nice 2 bedroom home in a section of Toril, Barangay Daliao called Prudential Village close to a nice beach. I am a swimmer. Our neighbors and community are great. I feel safe here. I have an excellent doctor. We are 1/2 hour from the Airport. So your experience of Davao is the opposite of mine. Your opinion of dating a separated woman is not the same as mine. My interest was in my wife who is now a Permanent Resident of Canada which has great summer weather. I extoll the virtues of Prudential Village, Davao is just a supply centre. Our digs in Matina were really nice though too dusty. My comments about Facebook were to alert people to the dangers therein from hooligan Pnay's. Davao is the safest city in the PH. But it is a sprawling and run down. In parts. I am not promoting it or Duterte who has been instrumental on eliminating crime. I am sure there are gated garrisons with armed guards in more attractive locations where you can hob nob with other westerners. OK, but not my style. By comparison to the South side of Chicago where I grew up, this sure beats that. I go to the beach each day with my Pinoy friends for a swim, food and drinks. This is my reality, not optimism or anamisric thinking. Sorry to hear of your very negative experiences. But is it the rule or the exception.

louisbecke
  11/18/2015 19:32 EST

it can be maddening here. When Filipino's do bad stuff to you or another foreigner these cheerleaders say it's us that must be doing something wrong or the same thing happens in the states. Just refer to my post about what the U.S. military thinks of this place.

standupguy
  11/18/2015 20:22 EST

louisbecke - Clearly I understand your bias. Is the US Military the expert source of information about the Philippine life? You think anyone who has something nice to say about the PH is a cheerleader? You think advise about how to proceed with getting an annulment and marriage to a separated pnay is "cheer-leading". You are one of the malcontents, and anyone who reads your posts understands that now. So say something nice about the PH or be quiet. Soothing yourself is a survival skill. There are lots of mistakes made by the US military internationally. I agree that shore leave will lead to a lot of trouble here and controlling access and egress is essential. But overstatement really detracts from the message. I'm a cheerleader for my life that my wife and I created in Prudential Village, Barrio of Daliao, Toril, Davao City. All the foreigners here same the same thing about this place. Other Canadians love it in Lyete or Bohol. If you take off your American Military sunglasses, you may see the brighter side.

louisbecke
  11/19/2015 18:07 EST

I'm just telling the truth about it here that's all and it is the truth. I have a different experience in Legaspi and Coron. Your all the way in Davao. You have a Mayor that doesn't put up with BS.

What I'm not going to do is paint it all rosy here and some newbie coming here thinking it's paradise and walk straight into a scam at the airport from some filipina he met online. A guy from another forum named Dave was warned by us about the girl he met online and he got kidnapped at the airport. he escaped 10 days later and text me so i went to Marakina city Manila to get him. I told him to get a taxi to Cubao Victory Liner. I met him there then took him to my home.

I always talk to U.S. servicemen that visit at the Starbucks on SBMA and they usually have a story of Filipino's recently trying to scam them or rip them off right on SBMA. Not their fault as you allude to.

sagittariuslady
  5/16/2016 19:26 EST

I am a Filipina and been divorced 12years now by my exhusband who is now married again with a Filipina. I met this wonderful Canadian man and we want to get married in hong Kong is it possible for us? Or I need to annul my marriage here in the Philippines. I had my divorce decree with me. Pls. I need some advice.

sagittariuslady
  5/16/2016 22:57 EST

I am a Filipina and been divorced 12years now by my exhusband who is now married again with a Filipina. I met this wonderful Canadian man and we want to get married in hong Kong is it possible for us? Or I need to annul my marriage here in the Philippines. I had my divorce decree with me. Pls. I need some advice.

wilbur043
  5/17/2016 00:19 EST

You should have no problem if you are getting married in Hong Kong. A friend of mine did the same thing. If you wanted to get married in the Philippines you could take your divorce decree to NSO and they will stamp it annulled.

Snowy29
  5/17/2016 04:40 EST

Hi Johnsam

I think people are getting things mixed up and confusing the situation. As a Brit you are tied to UK law and your future partner is tied to Philippines law. UK law states you can't get married to someone who is currently married elsewhere. It's our bigamy lawa and the marriage wouldn't be recognised.

Your partner is tied to the Philippines who don't have divorce but annulment. She also can't remarry until annuled.

In reality you will have no say in her annulment it has to come from her side.

In reality even if you decided to never get married she'd never get a visa to visit the UK at her age. This means you'd go to her.

As highlighted the minute a Westerner appears on the scene the pound signs light up in the average Filipino. Not just the ones you are linked to but their contacts. If your partner has mentioned she has a foreign partner who wants to marry her the jungle drums will start.

Without knowing the ins and outs of your relationship if her ex doesn't know about you and neither does her friends and family I'd get her to start the process of annukment on the grounds that she wants to ensure her inheritence goes to her children and not the husband and his wife. Let her make out she holds no grudge that he is commiting adultery she just wants a friendly annulment. If he sees she's going to pay for it touch wood he'll go along happily. After all if it gets dirty it's Filipino aganst Filipino and it could cost him.

Stay out of sight. It will take about one year but will be relatively straight forward and as cheap as it's likely to get. If you go over and start the ball rolling it'll open a can of worms. The possibility of blackmail, vastly inflated costs and maybe even a pay off with the ex. Added to this you'll have the additional time added to the annullment squabbling over bribes etc. Before you know it. It'll be twice as expensive and twice as long.

Without getting too personal you say you've been in a relationship 8yrs. How much of this time have you actually lived under the same roof. I'm asking this as I know a Filipino that told me she had a German boyfriend of 2 yrs and they were getting married. She talked about him over a few months and I took it for granted he was the real deal. It was only when I asked where he lived and she said " with his Mother in Germany" I asked how they spent time together as she'd never left the Philippines. It turned out they'd never met but were Facebook friends and had agreed to get married after messaging for two years. I almost fell off of my chair. Having spent a lot longer in the Philippines and spoken to quite a few girls over here lots off them have Facebook future husbands they've never met.

This brings on the question of what the fu@@ ?

I hope things are different for yourself and you've spent many a happy year togerther but sadly if you have you can bet her ex knows about you and the annulment may not be so straight forward.

Good luck and all the best.

seernai
  5/17/2016 04:54 EST

To a degree that guy is correct apart from the age bit , in the UK it's got nothing to do with age but all to do with how much your income is if your income is less than £18,60o a year you have no chance unless she has proof of savings also if your going out with a separated lady in the Philippines and Her ex finds out you both Could be in trouble especially if she gets pregnant as then your facing 6 years jail minimum sorry to be so harsh but you don't want to be on the run for the rest of your life

Snowy29
  5/17/2016 12:35 EST

The age part was more about the Filipino going to apply for a visa and getting interviewed as to why she wishes to visit the UK. From speaking to some Filipinos you've got to show a reason to return to the Philippines more than a reason to visit somewhere. My money is on them seeing her as doing a runner and not returning. As for getting her pregnant she';s 59yrs old. If it happens I want to know what she's been eating lol .

mootpoint20
  5/17/2016 14:01 EST

Your angry response to the 'humor' of an adviser reveals 'self-will' run riot. You will obviously do exactly what you want to do, based on 'feelings'.

I suspect you need not ask anyone what you 'should do'. Just man-up and take the plunge!

JPH
  5/17/2016 19:43 EST

Snowy29, My thoughts - PH & divorce/marriage is a problem given the practice of marriage/divorce in most other countries. However, if both parties are divorced overseas under the laws of that country then there should be no problem in marrying again outside of the PH where an 'annulment' is recognized only as a Catholic religious status and not a legal requirement in most other countries where there is 'separation of Church & State'. So long as one has a legal document stating a marriage is officially dissolved ie. NOT just a Separation Agreement' then ok. The problems arise when one is actually IN the PH where the Catholic Church is not separated from the State. Drives everyone nuts ! However, not likely to change anytime given what I term 'last bastion of old school Catholicism' ie. control etc. Previous comments on the subject highlight that while one may be legally divorced and married normally while abroad, once you are in the PH you can be arrested for bigamy etc. A 'Welcome to the Philippines' moment for sure.... I am told a number of Filipinas go to HK to get a divorce and remarry - one assumes everyone keeps quiet when back in PH ! Simply living together is another option although I am sure there is a law against that even though many Filipino (a)s do so. Blackmail is another potential problem as stated. Hope there is a workable outcome for the individuals concerned ie. don't stay in the PH !

stateofdismay
  7/22/2016 02:27 EST

So I guess, I'm in a similar boat - met a married but separated Filipina online. The information I read and hear is so conflicting, I guess what I'm looking for is more of what i have been seeing in this thread - just some down right good advice from locals in the know. Here is what I know so far.

She is 42. Mature and articulate in the English language. We speak twice a day (I'm in the USA so the time difference only allows us to speak before and after each of respectively goes to work.) We speak longer on the weekends 3-5 hours, whereas on weekdays we speak for about an out during each meeting.

She claims her "husband" has a girlfriend and cohabitates with her. She has 4 children over the age of 18 and she lives in the house with them and he lives elsewhere with his girlfriend.

She has toured the house with me on cam and it looks as nice as my place here in the USA - surprising for all the shacks you see from online videos.

She claims her "husband" is well to do and owns/operates several medical facilities and a school - where she is employed.

She claims to make 5000 pesos a month don't quote me on that it certainly is not more than that.

She claims he says, "He is done with her and wishes her to move on with her life. "

She has never asked me for a dime. Except after 1 full month of talking, she claims she can not reasonably pay her half of the annulment as the majority of her money goes to feeding her family and other expenses. She asked if i would pay her half. But none of the other horror stories I have read about hitting up men for "load" etc...

She claims that separated couples abound in the Philippines and it is very common for separated couples to find someone new and just move on.

I have had this perception confirmed by a UK expat I spoke with at a work conference who is married and now living with his Filipina wife in the Philippines. He said, "After living there for 12 years, I can tell you this situation is obvious. You have a woman who simply wants to live out the rest of her years with someone who loves her. Filipinos, despite all their problems, are lovely people. I wouldn't fear a bit."

Now, here are the remaining extenuating circumstances.

I have read the law and the consequences. And I don't want to step off the plane in Manila, have her leap into my arms, and kiss me - and then be cuffed and thrown in a Philippine jail where my Embassy can not even do anything to simply get me out of the country.

This one sole fact is the center of all of my trepidation.

Money is not an issue, could care less if I get scammed out of 30,000 pesos or what not. I just can't go to jail, it would destroy my employment situation here in the USA.

My stay will be 7 days, and the plan is to travel the country staying together in various hotels and resorts. I keep thinking, how can I do any of this stuff without constantly looking over my shoulder for the "marriage police"?

Ultimately, as an educated man, I feel that this is completely stupid, like a horrible wager at a casino - but you do it anyway because sometimes you get dealt the winning cards.

So without much further delay, I guess what i want to know is - what do believe, given the information I have provided, are the odds that I am going to end up in jail? Am I just letting my over analysis cause my paralysis?

Any reply would be welcome. Thanks.

lblampman
  7/22/2016 05:12 EST

stateofdismay,

First, you're going to get a lot of folks here telling you to walk away. You know why? It's the smart thing to do. But, we're human and we don't always do the smart thing, especially when love is involved.

So, let's just assume you're going to turn a deaf ear to all the folks that tell you to bail out. Where does that leave you?

First of all, if she's telling you the truth about her husband (and I'm not questioning that she isn't, but it is a big if) then you're not going to jail. The adultery law was changed in the Philippines and an estranged spouse can no longer charger his or her spouse with adultery if they're in a relationship. You need to reread that law and find the new changes, they are not going to cuff you went you step off the airplane. There are no marriage police, only her husband can file an adultery case and he can't if he's with another woman.

Besides, if that was really true (about the marriage police) probably half of all Filipinos would be in jail. Cheating husbands and boyfriends has got to the the #1 complaint most Filipinas have.

Lots of expats have been in the same situation and made it work...lots of them. Some have tried and gotten scammed but that due to the nature of the people involved, not the specific situation (that is, they'd find a way to scam you regardless), and that's something only you can know as you learn more about your lady.

With 100% certainly I can absolutely and undeniably say that there a lot of honest, hard working, loving, Filipinas here whose husbands have just up and left and moved on to another relationship. The culture here is tough on "older" (meaning out of their 20's and 30's) women, and many of them would like nothing more than to meet a man they can trust and grow old with.

Are there no-so-nice women lurking in the weeds? That's a 100% deal too but they exist in every corner of the world.

If you really, honestly, think there's a connection there, and it's worth a fair amount of frustration and some amount of money, then move forward with your eyes open; it could darn well work. Fly here, meet her, see what things are really like, although I would say it's very difficult to really get a feel for things inside a month, at the least. If you don't have that much time, just do what you can.

I did marry a separated Filipina but other than that I did every wrong (according to wisdom of the Internet). I met her online, I sent her money before I got her, I had her rent an apartment and buy furnishings, etc, etc, etc. I got here on October 6th and she was exactly what she portrayed on Skype and in our emails. We got married on November 28th and I've never been happier. She's a wonder person and her family has been wonderful as well. That said, I'm 62 and have been around the block more than once, so while I wasn't wary to the point of being paranoid, I paid a lot of attention to how well what she was telling me aligned with what I could see for myself. She never asked for money, or help for her family, or gave me some weird sob story.

Personally, I'd give it a whirl in the sense of making the trip and meeting her. Then (and really only then) you can make choices based on what you really see and feel. It damn difficult for most of us to leave a relationship once we're in it, but still, if you get here and things are "fishy" you have to have the determination to walk (in my humble opinion).

She's not at a very good job, or only working part time, if she's only making P5,000 a month. But if that's the case then that's also the reason she asked if you could pay for half of her annulment, she can't on that income.

I'll end this here on say generally I go with my gut (and nothing below that) and in person I can make pretty good choices, so I'm in favor of you at least meeting the lady that you've been talking to. If you pay attention to the situation I think you'll "know" once you're here whether or not it's worth the hassle.

There will be plenty more comments telling you why it's a horrible idea, and not without merit but I don't believe as long as you think, and don't commit your wallet to things, you'll find out on your own what's best for you.

Best wishes as you move forward.

Les

lblampman
  7/22/2016 05:19 EST

Man, I really hate that we can't edit our posts, truly ridiculous software.

Anyway, in my previous post I meant to type "I did NOT marry a separated Filipina..." not that I did.

Les

seernai
  7/22/2016 05:31 EST

Hi Les I know what you mean especially with predictive text as it has a habit of changing your sentence to something quite different and can cause embarrassment

mootpoint20
  7/25/2016 15:14 EST

It is truly entertaining to read the psychological demands of human nature on the impossible. I'm sure these same individuals would consider the Bible as 'absurd'........"Ah,so its true love and true love conquers all ! And yes, it's Camelot!!!" (Reminds me of a five year old.)

jleo1
  7/25/2016 16:50 EST

Hello,

I'm in a relationship with a married/separated Filipina for 8 months now and have been to PI 3 times to see her. 3 weeks last Dec for Christmas and New Years, 2 weeks in Mar 2016 and 1 week in June for a family reunion. I bought my airline ticket after knowing her for 1 week online.

I've met almost her whole family now, even some living in Texas and Japan.

All I can tell you is to listen to what lblampman has said. Good words of advice!!!

People told me I was nuts (and many still do!) but we're still working on being able to grow old together. We're just getting ready to start her annulment case. Working on finding the right lawyer.

She's 50 and I'm 56. She has been a hard working mother of 3 up to now and she is just looking to have someone to love her for her remaining days. She doesn't care to much about money... just have enough to live comfortably. Tired of working, working, working and for what? To be alone and unhappy?

She never shared the same room with her husband for the last 3 years or so they lived under the same roof and she has been living apart from him for about 6 years now. She did it all... work, cook, clean, homework, school functions, bible study, no help or input from the husband. He hit her, choked her (even while pregnant and in front of 7 year old son), chased her out of the house with a knife and pulled a gun on her while she held the bullets with death grip.

Annulment is a pain in the a@@ but some things in life are worth the pain! This is one of those things for me and her.

Good luck to you friend!!!

Jeff

jimmydee4u
  7/25/2016 18:21 EST

I have been involved with a woman in the Philippines I have been there we both knowing we probably not able to be married we just accepted it even though they are trying to change the law even though they both want to have the marriage annulled they haven't been together for 8 years now he is with another woman now and they have kids.

jimmydee4u
  7/25/2016 18:37 EST

Its really impossible to get an anullment there unless there has been abuse or deceivement I'm in the same boat they haven't been together for 8 years the cost of trying to get one is too expensive so looks like keep it as is

ACEPoolPlayer
  7/26/2016 09:40 EST

stateofdismay,
There are no marriage police. You don't have to worry about that too much. What you may have to worry about it is if the lady's husband is well connected. If he is then you could be putting yourself in trouble. Forget what everyone says the law says....about anything. That stuff only matters after you have been detained for months or years and the case finally gets to court. Anyone who has been involved with the Philippines court system will agree.

I'm trying to help you so bare with me.

The case of Les may have worked out but for every 1 that works out, I'm sure at least 4 do not. I'm referring to guys getting involved with a separated Filipina. The only thing that means is keep your eyes open looking for red flags all the time. When I read your post the things that stick out to me are:
1) She is mature and articulate. -That means she's well educated educated/not from a typical lower middle class or poor family.
2) Her house looks as good as your house in the states. -wealthy respectful family.
3) Lives in a nice house with 4 children over the age of 18.
-Who supports the children? What do they do? What will happen if you end up together? Someone is paying those bills. Those children must still be in good relations with their father.
4) Of course her husband has a girlfriend. Almost all Filipino married guys over the age of 30 have girlfriends or 2nd families. The Philippines double standard.
5) Her husband owns or operates several medical facilities.
-He is very wealthy, powerful, influential and well known within his community.
6) She is employed at the school that he owns or operates for 5T a month.
-Very low salary if he owns or operates the school. He is controlling her financially.
7) She wants you to help with payment for her half of the annulment $2000-$3000.
-That means the husband is paying for the other half? If a wealthy Filipino wanted his marriage annulled he'd pay for it. If he is telling her ok, you pay half and we'll annul the marriage, it's because he doesn't want to annul the marriage. It would be an embarrassment to him and his family.

There is no doubt that she may want out of the marriage. It's not the same as meeting a Filipina who's poor irresponsible boyfriend or husband ran away and left her with kids an all the bills for many years while he is enjoying a new life and family. You are comparing something completely different. She is still in contact with him and works for him. A wife who is being supported with her kids by her husband who happens to have a 2nd family. He is a business man well known and respected in his community. Filipino's have a lot of pride....

Again I'm not saying anything is impossible but open your eyes and think 10 times. The only way this can work is if you amicably got the approval of her husband.

lblampman
  7/26/2016 18:37 EST

ACEPoolPlayer,

Well stated argument (meant in positive terms) to my post. It's good (in my opinion) to get alternative well-reasoned points-of-view out there for the benefit of folks researching the subject.

It's quite likely you have a more "real world" view of the situation than I do. I tend to be the eternal optimist and I haven't personally been exposed to the circumstances and situations your post articulates but I have no doubt yours is probably the more realistic view.

Les

jimmydee4u
  7/26/2016 19:09 EST

From what I understand that would be valid here the divorce but not in the Philippines

phellie3
  7/26/2016 20:01 EST

Very good advice.

One needs to look in every direction. These people as ACEpp says are proud and sensitive; they are also innovative and clever and have strong family ties. The obvious is, why get involved with someone who is married and not already divorce. From and outside looking in, you have created a difficult path for yourself that could have been avoided and could still be, if your allow your head to rule your heart.

My opinion is: take your time! I'll say it again: take your time! And while you are taking your time, not only hear but listen to what is being said, watch for body language and not only hers, but everyone who has anything to do with her. Also if you dont know the language start learning it but don't admit you are learning it apart from saying simply words such as Salamat, walang anuman etc. Many people go by the name of Christian, but many are that, in name only. I could tell you stories of so called Christians Filipinos ...

The other thing is, if she is wanting a divorce, this a left over from her previous life, and really not your business to be paying or helping her to pay for it. If it was your wedding then that's different, but this is baggage from her previous life (well and current life), however it is not your business to take up the responsibility of paying half or all her share of the divorce. If she wants the divorce she will find the money.

You need to draw the line in the sand: her baggage is not your baggage. You can help her emotionally and mentally but not financially. If you do this events will unfold that will indicate clearly if this situation is above board.

But the choice is yours. Remember you head is suppose to be connected to your neck ... value it.

stateofdismay
  7/26/2016 20:09 EST

ACEPoolPlayer:

Trust me friend, I'm safely here in the States just doing my thing not counting on a darn thing. The way I see it, I've got nothing better to do with my excess time than to see where and how deep this rabbit hole goes. If after months of communicating, I feel comfortable, I'll buy the plane ticket to Manila (late November).

If you or anyone else wants to follow my thought process and comment, I welcome any and all constructive interpretation.

I'm trying to rule out certain probabilities in order to debunk other ones.

#1 Would a married woman be able to speak in English via Skype from her bedroom twice a day (when it is 5 a.m. there it is 2 p.m. here and when it is 5 a.m. here it is 8 p.m. there.) - as well as - 4-6 hours every (her) Saturday and Sunday? Consistently, without fail thus far for the entire month of July? Would a husband not notice?

I'm inclined to think that he may be the sort of person who enjoys complicating someone's life. Dated plenty of single mothers here in the US whose ex's just play game after game after game with matters of custody and child support just because they can. I know, it may be a leap, as I do not know this Filipino from Adam (he could be a really great guy and she is deceptive as hell) but, statistically speaking - wouldn't we be more inclined to think he was just a puppetmaster rather than actually wanting to hold on to her?

The children are attending college, father pays for everything. The have maids who do the cooking and cleaning.

I asked her, "So tell me about the culture of annulment. Is it something that is stigmatized?" Her response, "It is more stigmatized to cheat on your wife, as separation is such a common occurrence here."

I also feel like if i went to the attorney, I could ask if all of this (annulment is in progress) was legitimate and if I was satisfied with the answer, then I could give the money directly to the attorney and not to her. But here's how twisted all of this becomes - if the Philippines is as corrupt as everyone makes it out to be, then she could easily be in cahoots with the lawyer and split my payment with them. Assuming that the lawyer is legit - what do you all think about my visiting them to check the legitimacy of the claim of annulment?

The children do have a good relationship with there father as far as she has told me, but she also tells me that her children have encouraged her to seek the happiness they believes she deserves. I have also had the chance to say "hello" to her youngest daughter. So, it is no secret, her mother is talking to an American. (But was it really her daughter? Was it a maid? Niece? Neighbor's child?)

Here's a question for all of you living in the Philippines....She says she has a credit card with a 80,000 peso limit. So I said, "Well pay the lawyer with your credit card." She says, "Lawyers don't take credit cards." I said, "Then go to the bank and tell them you want a cashier's check for $75,000 pesos made out to the lawyer and put it on the card." She said, "The bank won't do it because her husband requested no cash in hand transactions be made with the card." Do lawyers and other service providers take credit cards or not? Can you use your card to get cashier's checks in the Philippines like you can here in the USA?

Last question: Do they have notaries in the Philippines? The law states that if a person has the consent of their spouse they may not be charged with the crime of adultery. So I said, "Type up a statement granting his consent and have him sign it in front of a notary, then have it sealed." Problem solved. Maybe they don't have that there?

ginamarquez
  7/26/2016 21:17 EST

I am currently processing my annulment here in the Philippines, been doing that since January 2014. My partner who is a UK national is very supportive of me all the way. We want to do it the proper way, long and tedious. But good things happen to those who wait. There is no short cut to it. I tried to check them all out too. I've been separated for 12 years now and I've only wished to be single again now, since I met him.

jimmydee4u
  7/26/2016 22:03 EST

Well here is how see it that last part worries me eventhough quite a few places don't take credit cards as I found out there but you can use your ARM card at the banks it sounds questionable to me

ACEPoolPlayer
  7/29/2016 09:10 EST

Stateofdismay,
Please understand I'm not here to put anyone down. I'm here to help you. I only wish you the best.

I have years of experience living in the Philippines and dealing with Filipinos. My first wife, whom I share a child with an I'm still on good terms with (annulment) was very well known in her industry. I was embedded in the wealthy Filipino society for a long time. Mixed and mingled with many well known people.

The Philippines double standard is a real thing that exists. That is why there are nightclubs and massage parlors all over the country for men (these places are not for teenagers or young adults). Very few massage parlors for a women to enter.

I have no doubt that the husband does not live with his original wife based on your Skyping all the time. He does obviously pay for all the food, maids bills an expenses for everyone including her. That being said, he still considers her his wife. She is the mother of his kids and he has been paying all the bills for her and their kids for a long time. Dating single mother's (with dead beat dads) in the states is not the same as dating a wealthy person's neglected (sexually or affectionately) wife in the Philippines. The husband is doing all the required acceptable things in the Philippines culture (taking care of his family financially). There is a saying in the Philippines: "He can do anything he wants as long as the money comes home to take care of his family" I'm not saying it's fair by western standards but that's the unwritten rule in the Philippines. Don't embarrass the wife and take care of all the bills.

I've never heard a Filipino use the word stigmatized. You stated you asked her "So tell me about the culture of annulment. Is it something that is stigmatized?" Her response, "It is more stigmatized to cheat on your wife, as separation is such a common occurrence here" (That doesn't make sense. Stigmatized...disgrace, disapproval, condemn) Annulment is stigmatized because you are giving up on a marriage in a Catholic society. To death do us part...That's why it's so hard and expensive to get an annulment. Cheating on a wife is common occurrence in the Philippines. Embarrassing her in public with another women is stigmatized. Separation happens often because of cheating.

Your questions about Attorney's, credit cards, cashier's checks is getting ridiculous. I'm sorry I don't mean to put you down but wake up. The only possibility of this happening with this lady is for you to go to the Philippines meet her in person for lunch or dinner (nothing else). I'm sure she's dying for affection and attention. Only meet her. Then meet her husband and talk it out with him. Maybe he will endorse the idea. If she says it's impossible for you to meet with him or he is unfriendly, get the hell out of there and find someone else.

There are ton's of good looking wives (30's, 40's, 50's) of wealthy Filipino's looking for affection or attention. Very dangerous. Everyone stay away from them. You don't want to mess with a wealthy Filipino's property. That's how most of them see it.

lowrider
  8/7/2016 18:04 EST

hi..i been reading all the post here about being with a separated filipino woman
i have got to say a lot of very good information and advice....
But on saying that i am happy i didnt see these post because i would have never went out to meet the woman of my dreams.
I am truly happy those things didnt happen to me but im sure they could have and i would of never seen them coming...
I meet her on line and within a month i flew out to meet her...and believe me if i had seen these post i dont think i would have...i didnt know any of this could happen.
I have been out there 5 times in less than a year met her family her mom her sisters her brothers and aunts and uncles and friends....
her husband know about me and seems to be ok with it as far as i know...he once let her use his phone to call me as her daughter drop her phone and broke it.and we didnt talk forthe whole day..as we chat at least 20 30 times during the day.(..he stop by to pick up his daughter )

so i guess what im saying here is im was lucky...but will have my eyes open more now...she even tells me sometimes to be more aware of where im at and what i wear....like watches and rings...

but what does suck...is she been waiting 2 years now to get annulment she never ask me to pay it...in fact i told her i help her...she she no it is not concern.....i do help her with other things but she never ask me for money....and when i offer it she says no...i have to stuff it in her tiny shorts...and she gives me this cute frown as being mad and i just have to smile.....and tell her keep it or i will buy beer with it....

Just want to say thanks for everyone's advice....and what you say is true...im glad i was lucky once in my life....

And advice to get her annulment quickly...we sure would welcome..as she is talking about going to hong kong now....so she can get divorce and k1 visa to live here with me

lblampman
  8/8/2016 00:10 EST

Hi lowrider,

It's great to hear your positive story, thanks for posting.

I am NOT going to rain on your parade but I do need to respond to your last paragraph:

...and she is talking about going to Hong Kong now...so she can get a divorce and K1 visa to live here with me...

You were okay up to that point but then things went south on you. I'm afraid what she's proposing (or perhaps you proposed to her) won't work. And please, don't feel that I'm raining down on you, it's just information you need to have.

She can certainly go to Hong Kong and get a divorce and that divorce will be recognized in all the world...except the Philippines.

And therein lies the problem. Legally she'll be neither here nor there but stuck in between.

The problem is, that even with her Hong Kong divorce in hand, as soon as she heads back to the Philippines she has the exact same legal status she left with since the Philippines will not recognize that divorce.

And she has to go back to the Philippines in order to get her K1 visa from the US embassy in Manila. And now, she has a problem because when you two fill out the paperwork required she will have to declare herself a married woman, as she cannot produce an official NSO CENOMAR (Certificate of No Marriage) to qualify for the K1.

It's truly just a mess all the way around.

The best (in my humble opinion and it's just one suggestion) is to let her finish the process with her annulment. Then, and only then, will the two of you actually have a clear legal path forward.

To be honest, the only other (likely) viable option would be to live with her in the Philippines as an unmarried couple since her husband has indicated he'd be alright with that. I'm usually the optimistic one but even I'd be a bit leery of that arrangement. Not that I wouldn't give it a try but I'd sure have a backup plan.

The only realistic ways to get her to the US are the K1 fiance(e) visa or the CR1 "spouse" visa. In the first case she must be unmarried and in the second case she must be married to you. Neither situation applies until she's gotten her annulment.

If you're stuck in the US (that is, can't live in the Philippines) and she's stuck in the Philippines because she's separated, you're unfortunately in just about the toughest situation there is given that there are no really viable options other than letting her annulment process run its course.

You could concoct some overarching plan that would have her travel somewhere her Philippine passport would allow and you could join her in that country. And depending on the laws there, she could file for a divorce, then you two could marry in that country (or wherever her passport would allow her to go that allows marriage between two foreigners). However, being married to you gives her no right to travel to the US. At that point, in the eyes of the US, you two would be married but you'd have to file for a CR1 in the US and wait for that process (typically about 9 to 12 months). Keep in mind, even if you could make all that work out, in the eyes of the Philippine government she's still married, and further, has committed bigamy. That means any trips to the Philippines to visit her family, or her need to return for funerals, etc, etc, etc, are really not viable. That's a tough situation for most of us, and Filipinos in particular.

There's no doubt this all probably sounds negative but honestly, it's not intended to be so. There's (almost) always a way to work through situations but you really need to know where you stand in order to figure out how to get where you want to go.

Les

tlallen59
  8/8/2016 02:06 EST

lblampman is right on the money. My sister in law wanted marry a guy I fixed her up with but she was married. The annulment failed after much cash spent even though the husband was OK with it. Sooo he flew her and her 2 kids to the Dominican Republic where she divorced her husband and he filed for K1. She waited and interviewed in the DR embassy and was approved. She now lives in Oklahoma city. All this took over 3 years.

lblampman
  8/8/2016 02:18 EST

tlallen59,

Thanks for the additional information, it's very helpful. I didn't know if it was possible for Filipino to get a K1 other than from the US embassy in the Philippine unless they became a citizen of another country.

To expand on this a bit more, I'd like to ask if your sister-in-law became a citizen of the DR for this to work? And, if not, how long did she have to maintain residence there in order to file for her divorce? If she didn't become a DR citizen, it would appear her (now) husband was able to get her K1 even though she was a Philippine citizen living in the DR, is that correct?

I would also assume that she's still considered married (to her original husband) in the Philippines, is that also the case?

Sorry for all the

lblampman
  8/8/2016 02:19 EST

Guess I press a key on my keyboard it didn't like! LOL

Anyway, I was saying, sorry for all the questions but your information brings up some interesting possibilities.

Les

tlallen59
  8/8/2016 03:59 EST

She did not become a DR citizen but had to have 60 days residency in the country. She travels on a Philippine passport so yes to your second question.

Florenceblooms
  8/8/2016 16:38 EST

If that Filipina has been separated for 4 yrs., and she does not know whether her estranged husband is alive or not. She can post in major newspapers in the Philippines in different months that she is looking to her husband. She has to go to different barangays, to different police station blotter the lost. Why she needs to do that? She has to prove to the court that she did her best to look for her husband for a considerable amount of time, more than 1 month would be best. All that proofs she need to show to the court to get a "Judicial Declaration of Presumptive Death".

As the Family Code stands, a married person must, for purposes of remarriage, file the necessary action in court and ask for a declaration of presumptive death of the “absent” spouse. The crucial differences under the Civil Code and Family Code provisions are:

1. Under the Family Code, the time required for the presumption to arise has been shortened to 4 years.

2. Under the Family Code, there is need for a judicial declaration of presumptive death to enable the spouse present to remarry.

3. Under the Family Code, a stricter standard is imposed: there must be a “well founded belief” that the absentee is already dead before a petition for declaration of presumptive death can be granted. A married person must conduct a search for his missing spouse with such diligence as to give rise to a “well-founded belief” that he/she is dead.

If you need an extended discussion on declaration of presumptive death, please click http://jlp-law.com/blog/presumptive-death-of-a-spouse-for-subsequent-marriage/ to read the previous article entitled: “Presumptive death of a spouse for subsequent marriage.” On the other hand, just to be clear: no matter how long a spouse is “absent”, the present spouse CANNOT remarry unless there is a judicial declaration of presumptive death. (Reference: Republic vs. Nolasco, G.R. No. 94053, 17 March 1993)

Florenceblooms
  8/8/2016 16:40 EST

http://jlp-law.com/blog/presumptive-death-of-a-spouse-for-subsequent-marriage/

lblampman
  8/8/2016 20:10 EST

Florenceblooms,

Can you put some context on your post? Like what person or question you were answering or providing information for since it's out of context with the most recent posts.

Thank you.

Spruik
  8/10/2016 05:22 EST

On a (sort of) (un)related issue:

Can a foreigner marry twice in the Philippines ???

PS: Not to the same person... :)

lblampman
  8/10/2016 05:38 EST

Spruik,

Yes, with a caveat. As the foreigner who divorced his Filipino ex-wife in his home country you'd have the paperwork necessary to show at a Local Registrar's Office in the Philippines that you are not married (since you have a valid divorce decree). And you'd be able to get the Affidavit in Lieu of Legal Capacity to Marry (or whatever is equivalent for embassies other than the US embassy) since you'd be legally divorced.

The caveat is that unless the divorce papers were filed with the Philippine Regional Trial Court and approved, the divorce is not recognized by the Philippine government.

So, that raises a bunch of questions. One of which is, will someone in a Local Registrar's Office in the Philippines think to run a check on one's ex-wife's name? In which case, if the papers weren't filed, you'll still show up as married.

There was also some indication that some Local Registrars were requiring the foreign spouse to get a CENOMAR from the NSO. Once again, if the foreign divorce wasn't filed with the PRTC there will be no CENOMAR since you'll show as still married to your ex.

So it's "yes" if the divorce papers were filed properly with the PRTC, and it's a "maybe" if not (all depends on the day, the office, and the people involved).

Les

Spruik
  8/10/2016 07:49 EST

Thanks Les.

I did not file any divorce papers.

In fact I married twice in Philippines already, first time to the grand visa scammer and the second time after endless delays (measured in years) she was not approved for PR in AU for health reasons. I didn't want to live there so divorced again.

I had no idea about any such requirements.

It wouldn't look so good if I would marry there a third time... lol.

evej
  10/16/2016 03:19 EST

Did you went in Guam as tourist and file a divorce there to your Filipino partner?
How the divorce process take?Right after the divorce was filed and approved you can get married?

Kkillshot
  2/21/2017 08:07 EST

Hi peter. Can you recommend a lawyer for annulment. I'm Canadian and my gf filipina.
We've been in a long distance relationship for years. I've gone back and forth. Lately I haven't travelled there due to trying to get her here to Canada on a visitors visa and now attempting a conjugal sponsorship.
Can you suggest a Philipines lawyer that can be trusted and how to split up payments.
She has been separated from her husband for 5 years now and was originally married in Manila.
Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Have a good one !!

Kkillshot
  2/21/2017 08:13 EST

Hello.
Can u clarify please.
Can I legally marry my married but separated philipina girlfriend in Hong Kong?
It will not be recognized in the philipines but u think I can have it recognized Canada and sponsor her as a spouse?
Thank you

GaryD
  2/21/2017 08:52 EST

No, and your embassy will throw up her previous marrage in their immigration checks which can only end in a world of pain.

lblampman
  2/22/2017 18:42 EST

johnsam,

I am among the most optimistic participants here on the forum and even I would tell you that your situation is a landmine waiting to be stepped on.

Stripped down to the most basic level you essentially have two choices: 1) live unmarried in the Philippines with her, or 2) you both leave the Philippines, figure out somewhere to get married and she never returns to the Philippines.

Unless she can get an annulment the two of you will always have an underlying issue that may, or may not, result in difficult and complicated situations (not to mention expensive).

I am not being negative or a naysayer, the problem is that you're dealing with Philippine law. You cannot apply the logic and commonsense you've learned from the west (or most other countries in the world).

The fundamental law that influences everything is that it is illegal for two Filipino citizens to divorce. Ever. Anywhere in the world.

The second fundamental law regards extramarital affairs. If the husband is engaged in an extramarital affair, the husband is guilty of concubinage; if it's the wife she's guilty of adultery (note here that a man cannot, by definition, commit adultery). That's important because those "crimes" are treated differently (much differently) under the law.

These are not recent laws, they've been on the books for decades. The bill that pushing its way through the government (varying reports of its progress) would keep a married partner from filing charges against the other partner if she or he is engaged in the same sort of activities. In other words, a separated husband (this is the typical direction things flow) cannot file charges of adultery against his estranged wife if he's engaged in another relationship.

Still, separated husbands can make life rather miserable for an estranged wife and her partner. It's not an enviable position since, as a foreigner, you really have no effective rights, and at best you'd be a third wheel caught in a fight you really don't want to be part of.

It's a lot to ask of a Filipino to leave their country and never return in order to get married outside the country and the law of the Philippines. Family ties are usually strong and she'll want to return for significant occasions at the least. This really leaves out "eloping" in Hong Kong, etc.

If you're going to stay in the Philippines then she either has to go through the annulment process or you two just have to live together quietly. It's almost impossible to keep anything a secret, so it's quite likely that the separated husband will hear of the relationship eventually. Maybe that's okay, maybe not.

You two could also choose to live outside the Philippines but not get married, or at least spend an awfully lot of time in the countries her Philippine passport gives her access to. That way it's a lot more difficult (ie - expensive) for the estranged husband to do anything.

Bottom line, the situation is a massive headache and can't really be recommended. That said, you're in it now and if you're bound and determined to stay in the relationship then you need to do a lot of soul-searching and researching. It's an extremely difficult row to hoe, so be prepared for the difficulties and challenges ahead.

I know this doesn't sound uplifting and positive (my normal "vibe") but truly this seems to be the worst scenario a western guy can land in relative to relationships in the Philippines. It will haunt you until you learn enough to effectively deal with, and neutralize, the situation.

There are guys that have either made it through the annulment process, or who just live happily with their girlfriend, or who have negotiated some peaceful resolution with the estranged husband (some couldn't care less but some also see a financial potential), so the situation isn't impossible.

Best wishes and good luck!

lblampman
  2/22/2017 18:46 EST

WOW! I got caught out on that one!!!

I thought I was replying to a post from yesterday, not from years ago. I don't know what my browser was showing me the first time but obviously it wasn't a recent conversation.

My apologies for my lengthy reply to a 5 (ish) year old post...yikes! (Back to my hole-in-the-wall!)

Les

GaryD
  2/23/2017 03:24 EST

New members are reading they posts all of the time. A well considdered response is always appreciated.

Drboyd123
  9/2/2017 06:29 EST

I have the exact same issue

Did you find a solution ?

ACEPoolPlayer
  9/3/2017 07:52 EST

Drboyd,
Assuming you have some finances behind you the best process would be to spend a few thousand dollars and get an annulment. It may take 6 months or a lot more but if you are willing to pay, get it done and move along with getting married in the Philippines or anywhere.

Paulyn
  1/11/2018 02:31 EST

@pinaymentor

Hi. I am to this forum and I came across your reply to the concern raised regarding annulment. I would have to say I am in the same boat. My Fiance and I want to start a life together being bound by marriage; however, I am still married to a filipino and I would like to seek help on how to go about it. Is there anyone here who could refer me to an attorney who has an expertise on civil law?
I would appreciate it very much guys if you could help me on this. By the way, I am working in China right now and my Fiance is planning to move here soon so we can be together.

lblampman
  1/11/2018 21:02 EST

Hi Paulyn,

I'm not pinaymentor but that post was from 5 years ago and I'm not sure you'll get a direct response.

I can't tell for sure from your post but it seems you're a Philippine citizen (wife) married to a Philippine citizen (husband)?

If that's the case, since you have no option for divorce, you'll need to get an annulment attorney in the Philippines and go through that process in the Philippine court system.

If that's not the case, please provide a bit more information.

GoldWarrior
  1/15/2018 18:10 EST

Some people never learn. I constantly see people asking about annulments to get married.... then they come back asking about another annulment.

calzia
  1/15/2018 20:39 EST

Many years ago my wife and I faced the same dilemma. The British embassy suggested a solution: Go to the Dominican Republic for a divorce and marry there. Unfortunately, you'll have to live abroad. Forever, or until her husband dies. Or, as my wife did; renounce Philippine citizenship after becoming a US citizen. Yes, this all seems so very cruel but there are simply no alternative facts. Passion encourages wishful thinking. Good luck!

calzia
  1/15/2018 20:39 EST

Many years ago my wife and I faced the same dilemma. The British embassy suggested a solution: Go to the Dominican Republic for a divorce and marry there. Unfortunately, you'll have to live abroad. Forever, or until her husband dies. Or, as my wife did; renounce Philippine citizenship after becoming a US citizen. Yes, this all seems so very cruel but there are simply no alternative facts. Passion encourages wishful thinking. Good luck!

AsIseeit
  1/17/2018 09:00 EST

A foreigner can always get a divorce outside of the philippines ( even if married to a pinay, and the marriage occurred in pinoyland ), without the presence of his wife. Once finalized, the divorce will be legal in the Philippines. And that legal divorce in a foreign country will be also apply to the philippine partner.

AsIseeit
  1/17/2018 09:00 EST

A foreigner can always get a divorce outside of the philippines ( even if married to a pinay, and the marriage occurred in pinoyland ), without the presence of his wife. Once finalized, the divorce will be legal in the Philippines. And that legal divorce in a foreign country will be also apply to the philippine partner.

sherwood
  1/17/2018 10:52 EST

I believe the divorcee must sign the divorce papers. If she does not sign the divorce papers, then she is still married in the Philippines.

gelynch52ph
  1/17/2018 10:54 EST

If you marry a married Filipino, then you are committing bigamy which is a crime in the US. The original law that allowed foreigners (only) to divorce Filipino spouses and remarry in The Philippines was challenged in the Philippine Supreme Court and that right was extended to Filipinos who divorce abroad. Do some research in that regard, probably with a Filipino attorney residing in America. If I am correct, then your lady can go to Nevada and get divorced and then you can legally marry.

sherwood
  1/17/2018 12:23 EST

Years ago their was a case where a local woman to where I live, was married and supposedly divorced 5 times and wanted to get married again.
Three of those marriages ending in divorce basically with a hand shake. No court order.
While they found her guilty, the Judge said that it is not practical to monitor this type of action and the jails have no room to house people that re-marry without getting a divorce.
The bottom line is she was fined, and did not serve any jail time. The Judge did give her a warning to fix her previous marriage status before she
re-marrys for the six time.

jleo1
  1/17/2018 15:03 EST

The Philippine partner will have to take copies of divorce papers and do some legal work in the Philippines to get that divorce recorded so she would be free to marry again if she chose to.

jleo1
  1/17/2018 15:03 EST

The Philippine partner will have to take copies of divorce papers and do some legal work in the Philippines to get that divorce recorded so she would be free to marry again if she chose to.

Numismatic1960
  1/19/2018 15:46 EST

I know this is 2018. I am exactly in the same situation as you. They have been separated for over 10 years. They have not had their marriage annulled but she says he has remarried. That's illegal if true. My question is. I want to go and see her this June and we will be staying together. Is this ok or could we both end up in Jail.

sherwood
  1/19/2018 17:35 EST

No one will throw you or her in jail. Her x-husband might be upset, but he is living with his other - significant other and can not file charges or he will be thrown in jail for not getting an annulment before he got married. I doubt he did get legally married.
Visit her. Stay with her if you want. Just keep a low profile. Keep marriage out of your mind for now. Enjoy and have fun and get to know each other better. Then you can look at your options.

GoldWarrior
  1/19/2018 20:04 EST

You might not end up in jail but you might end up dead.

bbazor
  1/19/2018 20:19 EST

You are getting a lot of mixed messages and advice. Most likely, nothing would happen. However, if her ex saw you and was a jealous revengeful type or just wanted to make some money, it could totally ruin your life. It would be safer to meet her somewhere away from her province/home. There was an episode of "Locked up Abroad" about a British guy that met a girl on line and visited her. Things went downhill and they were lucky to escape with their lives. You just don't know who you are dealing with, so why take a chance. Read this article and do some Google searches to learn more about it. Maybe you can find that episode on Youtube (not sure). Anyways, take a look.

http://www.filippijnen.org/index.php?topic=7743.5;wap2

seernai
  1/19/2018 20:47 EST

The reason it Went down Hill is the fact he got her pregnant if that had not happened I doubt anything would have happened , as it was they were lucky to get out of the country .

Spruik
  1/19/2018 21:07 EST

>>>
The reason it Went down Hill is the fact he got her pregnant...
<<<

Far out... have couples now restrictions placed on them?

WTF do we have a woman for? Conditional sex?

Or is it the Pope chasing them for having sex outside marriage?

Spruik
  1/19/2018 21:14 EST

Of course they ahould have waited....

seernai
  1/19/2018 22:05 EST

You know exactly what I mean and its got nothing to do with the Pope they knew the risks they were taking if they had waited to get out of the country in the first place they would not git themselves in that situation in the first place

Spruik
  1/19/2018 22:13 EST

I know... I know...

Sorry, did not read the preceeding posts. Too hot today to read anything,

+45c in the mountains.

mpedmon
  1/20/2018 00:59 EST

Stay in a hotel with her is my advice. I did the same and thought "oh I'll stay at your olace since you offered." Bad move, a week later her "ex husband's" brother tried to attack me. She neglected to say her apt was in the Mother -in-laws ramshackle compound. I got a hotel room immediately and tried to hash it but my common sense finally kicked in and told her we were done. She also stakked me online for a few months so I did the blocking etc. Annoying. Be smarter than me.

GoldWarrior
  1/20/2018 03:42 EST

Divorce and bigamy are illegal. You are setting yourself up for extortion, blackmail, jail, or two guys on a motorcycle with a gun. If you think that little piece of paper is worth any of these consequences you are indeed nuts.

seernai
  1/20/2018 05:28 EST

Divorce is only illegal here if you get married abroad and you Divorce Her In your own country its legal here

gelynch52ph
  1/20/2018 07:21 EST

Seernai, your answer makes no sense. While there is no divorce in The Philippines, a divorce legally obtained abroad by the foreign spouse is recognized in The Philippines once it has been "validated" in a Regional Trial Court. What I have been unable to determine, is which court you must go to. Do you go to court where the foreigner now lives, where the Filipino lives, or to some random court?

ACEPoolPlayer
  1/20/2018 07:57 EST

Try to keep a low profile. Meet her outside of her comfort area. Maybe meet in Manila then within a day go to a resort area or someplace much farther away where no one would also travel to bother you. Then evaluate her and the situation. Don't tell her where until after you arrive and decide.

seernai
  1/20/2018 13:24 EST

Although There is no Divorce as such in the Philippines you can get a marriage Annulled here , and yes Divorce is legal if its done abroad as it happened to me ok and no it did not have to Go to a council I have a Divorce certifucate which is legally binding here by the way this was passed in october 2005 by the Aquino administration

seernai
  1/20/2018 13:30 EST

The Divorce was granted on the Magistates Court in My Town in the Uk , first you get a decree Nisi then 6 weeks later you get a Decree abdolute . Its not a trial Court its law in the uk. But if a Filipino wife divorces a foreigner in his country its not recognized in the Philippines

mootpoint20
  1/20/2018 16:23 EST

I've enjoyed reading all these letters of intrigue and rendevous. Much more interesting than the original question. Keep it simple...........SHE'S MARRIED!

lblampman
  1/20/2018 22:17 EST

gelynch52ph & all,

For clarification:

You can divorce in your home country if you got married in the Philippines (or in any other country for that matter).

The divorce, for you, is legal everywhere.

The divorce for the Filipino spouse is "legal" but not recognized by the Philippine government until the Filipino submits it through the Regional Trial Court. I would suppose that most Filipinos don't go through this effort unless they want to remarry and have everything done to official standards.

The paperwork would typically be filed by an attorney in the area where the Filipino ex-spouse lives but that's really his/her issue, not the foreign spouse's.

There is no requirement for the foreign spouse to file anything with the Philippine government with regard to the divorce. Just as if you had been previously married in (say) your home country and obtained a divorce from that person; you're not required to file the paperwork for that divorce in the Regional Trial Court in the Philippines.

If you want to remarry in the Philippines then you'll have to go through the existing process of submitting divorce decrees from any/all previous marriages during the Marriage License application process.

Nowhere can I find a legal requirement for a foreigner to submit divorce papers (for a previous marriage to a Filipino) to a Regional Trial Court. If a worker at a Local Registrar (where you're applying for a new Marriage License) insists on that, you need to request they cite the section of the law that supports that request. I don't believe, based on my research, that it exists.

This could well be one of those gray run-around-the-bush areas. You have a legal divorce (and the paperwork to prove it) but the Registrar is not finding a valid divorce for your previous Filipino spouse and says that they must have that. Again, I'd ask them to cite the section of the law that requires that so you have a base to work from if you need to seek some legal help. It should not be so, that's not the way the law is written. I guess you either try another Registrar's office, pay them off, or get an attorney at that point.

Lots of thoughts, hope some of it helps.

Les

pete98203
  1/20/2018 22:58 EST

You are correct Les as I just went through that scenario. It's the Filipino spouse that has to contend with the FIlipino Courts not the foreigner.

JWShortridge
  1/20/2018 23:39 EST

Dam!!! Has anyone successfully courted, engaged, and married a Filipino Lady who, when they met her, was in a "separated" status........and successfully went through the process of "whatever was necessary"........and ended up being legally (Filipino legal) married to her? There seems to be a lot of happy people here that I'm pretty sure at some point you mentioned a "wife"that you love dearly.................. just wondering....
JW

GoldWarrior
  1/21/2018 04:38 EST

JW ~ More likely that there are expats married to married women who didn't want to be bothered about telling them the truth about the husband that they are not aware of.

GoldWarrior
  1/21/2018 04:55 EST

JW ~ Why bother going through all the complicated formalities when you can simply neglect to tell your new foreigner husband to be about your current husband? Much easier to simply not tell him unless you want to scam him out of the expensive annulment fees so many foreigners seem to be aware of. Hmmmm

seernai
  1/21/2018 04:59 EST

I doubt that GW as a Cenoma will reveal if a Filipino is still married here

GoldWarrior
  1/21/2018 05:20 EST

Assuming you know the Filipinas true identity seernai. I could tell you all sorts of stories I am aware of about Filipinas scamming foreigners that are much more complicated than using fake ID's or using somebody else's ID. I don't have the time to explain all the complicated details, but suffice it to say a lot of foreigners are supporting babies that they think are theirs, when the father is a Filipino, for instance. Like the marriage, just another example of leaving out little details like other husbands or other fathers.

seernai
  1/21/2018 07:09 EST

We’re not talking about babies but marriages most marriages are genuine here gw again every wife is a scammer to you lol

JWShortridge
  1/21/2018 14:56 EST

I think we are all a product of our past and environment...... to me if every time I go to the beach, I see naked women sunbathing.....then when you ask me, I will say "go to the beach.......fast"......but if each time I go to the beach I get chased out of the water by sharks......then I will tell you to "stay the hell away from the beach"........bottom line, I receive useful feedback from all responses........thank you.

sherwood
  1/21/2018 16:51 EST

I would not recommend going to the beach with you.

Spruik
  1/21/2018 17:08 EST

The sharks will have eaten all the naked women...

Lots of hungry sharks left...

GoldWarrior
  1/21/2018 18:33 EST

I'm pregnant, let's get married and build a house. Sound familiar seernai? It should. Hahaha

charkee
  1/21/2018 19:18 EST

"I'm pregnant, let's get married and build a house." I have two brothers that fell for that trick in the US.

seernai
  1/21/2018 23:12 EST

Ever heard of DNA tests GW ? Aah but of course you’re gonna say that’s gonna be fake as well ??

seernai
  1/21/2018 23:17 EST

Why should it GW I’ve never been in thug situation and for those that have, ever heard of DNA Tests but of course your gonna say that’s fake like everything else in your fake world like ??

GoldWarrior
  1/21/2018 23:30 EST

The foreigners that are stupid enough to believe that their 100% Filipino kids are theirs aren't smart enough to do DNA tests. They just take their wives word that it is their kid, which is why the scam is so easy to do.....I'm pregnant, let's get married and build a house. Then the foreigner shows up here asking about an annulment. Happens all the time.

seernai
  1/21/2018 23:48 EST

To be honest GW that is bordering on the offensive as what your saying just about every wife here married to a Foreigner is screwing around when in fact the opposite is true sure like anywhere else in the world your going to find that happens but not on the scale you suggest GW .

GoldWarrior
  1/21/2018 23:53 EST

I never said every wife seernai. If the scams that are commonplace here offend you, then that is your problem.

Morgacj2004
  1/22/2018 00:04 EST

Most Filipina wives are faithful however there are a lot of scams esp involving the younger generation whose women have no issue,with playing multiple guys,at the same time.

seernai
  1/22/2018 01:28 EST

It’s not the scams here that offend me but some of the exaggerated claimsade by you against the Filipino people here, most would be very offended at your negativity against their country, whereas most people here try to keep a balanced view of reality here you on the other hand take things things to the extreme . Just imagine you going to a group of expats with their wives and kids who are you to say that the expats are not the father of their kids ? Your walking in dangerous ground with some of your distasteful comments just keep it real situation as most expats live a happy life here despite the unlucky few , I can think of quite a few places and women I would not trust in the uk , your just painting the whole country and people as scammers liars cheaters and god knows what else ,

seernai
  1/22/2018 01:32 EST

As I said the scams don’t offend me they offend the people who have been scammed ,

Spruik
  1/22/2018 01:56 EST

>>>
seernai
1/22/2018 1:32 AM

As I said the scams don’t offend me they offend the people who have been scammed ,
<<<

Not so sure... those who have been scammed usually agree wholeheartedly.

As for reputation... the scams are known world-wide, especially the marriage scams.

seernai
  1/22/2018 02:02 EST

The best advice to anyone wanting to come to the Philippines either for a vacation or to retire is do your homework study the culture and potential pitfalls if you take the time to learn about all aspects of life here most of you will be fine but if you come here thinking it’s like Thailand where you can get just about any home comfort you can think of your gonna be in for a shock . Also unlike Thailand the Philippines is raw and in your face of you don’t adapt quickly and learn from experienced guys you will get burned but if you keep your wits about you and don’t go to places where you have been warned not to go, you should be ok and no it’s not puppy dogs and rainbows. Just use common sense .

seernai
  1/22/2018 02:04 EST

I was scammed in the uk a few years back by a Brit , so it’s world wide

Spruik
  1/22/2018 05:43 EST

A West-African Brit?
Or Pinay Brit?
British Brit?

ACEPoolPlayer
  1/22/2018 06:22 EST

The bottom line for every expat engaging a relationship with a Filipina is to be cautious, patient and do not be complacent. #1 Cardinal rule are never give any financial assistance without meeting the lady in person first after an extended courtship. I agree, never believe a child is yours without a DNA test.

GoldWarrior
  1/22/2018 06:34 EST

seernai ~ You are the ONLY one that is personally offended by me telling the truth about the harsh realities of living in the Philippines. Others thank me for saving them money, grief, and heartache. You are doing nobody any favors by trying to give them a false sense of security.

seernai
  1/22/2018 15:38 EST

Who’s giving People a false sense of security? Not me in the other hand your giving People the impression that the Philippines is totally unsafe for anyone who comes here , I try to keep a balanced idea of what it’s like here what’s the point of over exaggerating things other people have made similar comments to me yet you never pick on them now why is that ? I have never said it’s totally safe here and you’ know it ,

seernai
  1/22/2018 20:28 EST

Hi JW believe it or not yes there are 100s of successful marrages here many of the couples are My friends and have Been married for 10 yrs or even longer so its not all doom and gloom as some people here would have you believe

seernai
  1/22/2018 20:32 EST

Also one thing which is never mentioned are the lying cheating expats who although married have one or Two girls on the side so its not always the women here who cheat and scam but of course nobody wants you to know that as they are so anti Filipina

Spruik
  1/22/2018 20:42 EST

Yup, those guys with a big yacht and big mansion...

lol

markrf
  1/23/2018 20:48 EST

No it is not only the women who scam and are unfaithful. Yes, I was scammed by a filipina for thousands, but that experience woke me up and i haven't allowed myself to be scammed again. But I know several filipinas who became pregnant by american men, had the baby, and the guy disappears on them, leaving them to care for the infant themselves. So lets face it guys, some of us are totally irresponsible a**holes.

surfingcebu
  1/23/2018 21:23 EST

yes there are "baskets deplorables everywhere " and I hate to see the filipina with a kid alone. HOWever , I I learned from some of my Filipina friends, that the trap they set for the guy! A risky trap hoping here will stay . a 50/50 chance . most take the gamble . better odds than the cock fights around town. Plus Filipinas Love to have euro-asian kids in the large family ! Hmmmmm - look beyond the obvious , the Filipina is still trying to scam a foreigner . bet your last dollar on it ! ( not all , but 80% are trying !!)

Spruik
  1/23/2018 21:44 EST

If the guy smells a rat, best thing to do is to run.

Reason being, after he brings his girl and child to his home country, such girl will usually take off after a predetermined time, he will lose everything plus pay child maintenance, regardless of him being the real father or not.

His life will be screwed and won't see a lot of his kid anyway, if at all,

To add insult to injury, many such kids are set up against their father and they just wait for their inheritance.

If the guy remarries, those kids (by their attitude) can easily destroy his second marriage.

surfingcebu
  1/23/2018 21:52 EST

correct me on this one ... is there such a thing as common law and child payments in the Philippines ? thats a laugh ! BUT , maybe its true I just cant see the guys sitting on the Barangay paying 500 pesos a month for a kid thats likely not even his in the end anyway !!! But I could be mistaken . ALSO , if a women moves in with you , and then takes off ...are you responsible for that "human will of change " . Just wondering sounds all too Western to me !

seernai
  1/23/2018 22:28 EST

Where do you get your figures from ? 80% that is questionable to say the least because its pretty obvious the first suspicion is colour and shape of their eyes ,all the kids I have seen around here who have expat fathers actually look like their Father and are much lighter than pure Filipino kids and their eyes are usually much rounder , you can if course have a Child who Will follow their mother in that. Of course your going to get girls who get pregnant by someone else and try it on but regarding the married ones , as was said before the vast Majority of Filipino wives are faithful as you do know its a Catholic country. Again what about some of the expats who are married and play t around what if I said 80% do that your not gonna like it are you but it works both ways

Spruik
  1/24/2018 00:38 EST

On common law and child payments in Philippines:

Up to last year I was corresponding with someone (Jehovah Wittnes lady) who has a Belgian ex-boyfriend who bought her a house and a farm.

She claims they had a child together but he stopped paying. She also claims he married someone else,

She filed a criminal case again her ex-boyfriend but he slipped from her grip and left the country. He can never return to Philippines because he will get arrested at the airport.

I asked her a few questions:

1. Why would you file criminal charges against the father of your own child?

>>> Because after he bought the properties, lot of changes have taken place. He did not sent money for my child, since then and until now. It is already considered domestic violence against me and my (our) child. Also he told me not once but many times that he will pay somebody to kill me ( this is "grave threat" ) if I steal his properties...what he really meant and wanted to say "he was afraid that after he bought that properties and named the title in me, that I might ran away and married somebody else." Well, it was him who married somebody else.


2. Why would you want him arrested so he cannot leave the country?

>>> The cases considered "criminal" and to be issued with warrant of arrest. Warrant of arrest was already disseminated in all international (entry) airport at the time it was issued. I wanted him to stay to finished the case.

3. Do you know what it’s like inside a Philippine jail?

>>> Upon his entry in the Philippines in December 2010, NBI personnel who took post at the Immigration Office based in NAIA International Airport arrested my ex-fiance and brought him in jail in NATIONAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION, not in the normal prison cell. He only spent one night in NBI because he paid his bailbond of P 14,000.00. And that was also the time I learned that he already married somebody else not me!!! That day (night!) I did not slept the entire night but just cried...thanks to him...

Those properties that he bought is never a blessing to me but a curse!!!!

Spruik
  1/24/2018 00:59 EST

Seernai,

>>>
Of course your going to get girls who get pregnant by someone else and try it on but regarding the married ones , as was said before the vast Majority of Filipino wives are faithful as you do know its a Catholic country.
<<<

I wouldn't give much credit based on religion. Catholics are the last ones I would trust based on religion. The first woman who scammed me bigtime was also Catholic.

The majority are faithful, only as long as she remains in Pinay Land. Once in the west and associating with others and their 'advices', anything goes.

That said, I do know some faithful ones in Australia. I know more unfaithful ones in Australia.

charkee
  1/24/2018 01:18 EST

Sounds like a professional victim. Stay away from this one.

charkee
  1/24/2018 01:36 EST

I know a local expat that is clearly suffering from paranoia. He was living with a Pinay and had a lovely daughter, but his paranoia created all kinds of problems for the family.

He then dumped her and married about the worst Pinay woman he could have. She was smart and learned to control him through his own paranoia.

He took her to the Netherlands where she took him for a ride to near homelessness. She then committed fraud and abandonment The Netherlands has a warrant out for her arrest. She fled to Australia abandoning an adopted child. He is back in the Philippines with his original girlfriend and daughter. Though he bathes once a week (I'm assuming, it could be less) and is mentally ill, she puts up with it because he owns a prosperous restaurant in Amsterdam and the daughter is getting the best education has to offer in the Phils.

There is this saying that was going around when I was in Boy Scouts:

"Paranoia, paranoia, you think she's out to annoy ya, but really she's out to destroy ya".

A paranoid will never recognize his own mental disorder and you will never be able to reason it out of him until he recognizes that something within is amiss.

GoldWarrior
  1/24/2018 02:05 EST

The Philippines is a Catholic Country??? Say that in Southern Mindanao and find out how smart you are. Since when does religion stop anybody from scamming others? Many religions are the biggest scams in the World. Scam people all week and attend church on Sunday and all is well.

seernai
  1/24/2018 02:15 EST

GW you forget I live in Mindanao and yes the Catholic church is doing very well here as for scamming people that happens all over the world most people are now educated enough to know that religion was invented to control the masses , even so if people wish to believe whatever they want thats up to them and yes the Philippines is a Catholic country whether you like it or not That is the reality .

seernai
  1/24/2018 02:22 EST

I know of Many Filipino Catholics in My Old Town in the UK all happily married in My home Town in South Wales , by the way that particular church does do a lot if good work with the very Old and impoverished so not all the Catholic churches are scammers

seernai
  1/24/2018 02:35 EST

I beginning to think this forum , instead of helping people to avoid the pitfalls of living here is Just about bashing the Filipino people especially the women and to be honest its time people started to balance this by extolling the virtues of living here, to the people who in the guise of warning people about death at every corner and your kids may not be yours if its so bad why are you still here ??? Regarding the sex industry according to a recently survey the Philippines is the 6 th country for sex tourists Thailand is still number one , having Been to Thailand there is a very big difference between the Two countries and as a matter of interest who built Angles City it was from the Vietnam war as place for R&R for the soldiers on leave same as Pattaya in Thailand .

charkee
  1/24/2018 03:08 EST

I've been in the Philippines 4 years and have yet to see prostitution. When I lived in Honduras it was legal, accepted and everywhere.

Traditionally fathers would take their 14 year old sons for their first experience and it often was traumatic for these boys. One I knew one that ended up sterile from of his one time loving fatherly birthday gift.

I don't see drunks splayed all over the streets or bars on every corner. I don't see the crime here either. When I lived in Tegucigalpa, I heard gunshots every night and there were nearly 100 murders every week.

Yes, of course we need to be careful in the Philippines. We also should be careful in NYC, London or Amsterdam or podunk Columbia Missouri, but we don't need paranoia to dominate our lives.

Just don't argue with the natives, stay away from the bar scene, avoid married women and be polite and you've cut the chances of having a problem by 95%.

seernai
  1/24/2018 03:54 EST

Hi Markrf Thank you for giving a balance comment , This is what ive been trying to say along , about not all expats being good .

seernai
  1/24/2018 04:03 EST

Thank you Charkee for that , same here in Davao , of course we know they exist but unlike Pattaya they are not in your Face bothering you . 21 years ago you only had to sit down for a quiet Drink and they would be all over you , even in the Hotel swimming Pool they would approach you I was glad to get out of their and Go up to Khon Kaen to visit friends it was so peaceful their I liked to visit the wats ( temples) and enjoy the serinity

GoldWarrior
  1/24/2018 04:06 EST

The reality is that nearly 11% of the population disagrees with you seernai on this topic seernai.....

"According to national religious surveys, about 5.6% of the population of the Philippines is Muslim, making Islam the second largest religion in the country. However, A 2012 estimate by the National Commission on Muslim Filipinos (NCMF) stated that there were 10.7 million Muslims, or approximately 11 percent of the total population.[2] Most Muslims live in parts of Mindanao, Palawan, and the Sulu Archipelago – an area known as Bangsamoro or the Moro region.[3] Some have migrated into urban and rural areas in different parts of the country. Most Muslim Filipinos practice Sunni Islam according to the Shafi'i school.[4] There are some Ahmadiyya Muslims in the country.[5]"

seernai
  1/24/2018 04:24 EST

GW I dont give a damn about your statistics again you know as well ad I do most of the Muslim population live in Southern Mindanao , not so many in the rest of the country , I see with My own eyes here in Davao the Catholic churches are full every sunday , do you live in Davao ?

seernai
  1/24/2018 04:33 EST

Hi GW I have Just checked your figures out and found 86% of the population are Roman Catholic another 6% belong to other Christian churches , the Philippines has the largest Christian population in Asia , Indonesia has the largest Muslim population in Asia ,

GoldWarrior
  1/24/2018 07:03 EST

I used current CIA statistics seernai. Regardless, I have no idea what religion has to do with scammers anyway.

GoldWarrior
  1/24/2018 07:03 EST

I used current CIA statistics seernai. Regardless, I have no idea what religion has to do with scammers anyway.

GoldWarrior
  1/24/2018 07:03 EST

I used current CIA statistics seernai. Regardless, I have no idea what religion has to do with scammers anyway.

GoldWarrior
  1/24/2018 07:03 EST

I used current CIA statistics seernai. Regardless, I have no idea what religion has to do with scammers anyway.

GoldWarrior
  1/24/2018 07:03 EST

I used current CIA statistics seernai. Regardless, I have no idea what religion has to do with scammers anyway.

GoldWarrior
  1/24/2018 07:04 EST

I used current CIA statistics seernai. Regardless, I have no idea what religion has to do with scammers anyway.

GoldWarrior
  1/24/2018 07:04 EST

I used current CIA statistics seernai. Regardless, I have no idea what religion has to do with scammers anyway.

GoldWarrior
  1/24/2018 07:04 EST

I used current CIA statistics seernai. Regardless, I have no idea what religion has to do with scammers anyway.

jleo1
  1/24/2018 08:22 EST

Charkee, last sentence was very well said.
Amen!!!

surfingcebu
  1/24/2018 10:01 EST

Seernai - Yes Indonesia has the largest Muslim Population . Guess where Mindanao gets its lunatics ?

seernai
  1/24/2018 15:56 EST

Those stats were not from he CI as I saw the same stats in Google the source was different

gingerdvera
  7/6/2018 02:06 EST

I don't know if it's wrong or right, you can ask for a CENOMAR in the Philippines. Thank you!

gelynch52ph
  7/6/2018 07:32 EST

The Filipino spouse can legally obtain a divorce abroad. The original law about divorce abroad specified it had to be initiated by a foreign spouse but that provision was challenged in the PI Supreme Court and it was ruled that Filipinos can legally divorce abroad. Then the divorce has to be "validated" by a Philippine judge somehow before it is legal in The Phils.

Annulments are costly and time consuming and the cost increases exponentially one the attorney sees a foreigner in the mix. I'm in the US now and my separated for 15 years GF filed her annulment yesterday in Metro Manila after her mother gave her P220K which we will repay once she gets to the US.

As to your part about being married in Las Vegas and divorced later...it would seem that you have not looked at the US fiancee petition process and she will not be able to get there until she proves she is single. Once she applies (and if caught lying) she will NEVER be allowed to even apply for a visa to the US again.

gelynch52ph
  7/6/2018 07:37 EST

If you ever go to Nevada for a divorce as I plan to do, fly to Vegas & drive to a small town a couple hundred miles away, rent a room to establish residency & go about your business. Then file your divorce in the county where your "residence" is after the 6 weeks have elapsed. I'm currently researching the laws regarding leaving after the 6 weeks, filing methods etc. I also have discovered that it is rather easy to obtain a divorce in South Dakota, but the woman is Filipino and will never get a visa to go for her divorce.

standupguy
  7/6/2018 19:50 EST

gelynch52ph I could be wrong, but I am pretty sure a Filipino Judge is not the one to validate the US divorce. Rather it would be the US Embassy. I had my divorce validated by the Canadian Embassy, but I paid for my wife’s annulment which was still far cheaper than getting a Canadian divorce, couldn’t get her into Canada until we were married anyway. Best US divorce price I found was in Arizona. You need 30 day Residency for an AZ drivers license. Then 90 day Residency. They charge $170 according to the websites I visited. I am a US citizen as well. For the adoption of her daughter, our lawyer wanted a letter from the Canadian Embassy stating that I was fit to adopt, and another from my doctor saying the same. Canadian Embassy is under the federal government, Extetnal Affairs. Each of the 11 provinces have their own provincial adoption law and regulations and would never provide a reference to another jurisdiction since they only go by their own home studies. We got a home study done in the Philippimes by letters of reference from our neighbors, one a Church official. Cost of a home study for an international adoption in British Columbia is $20,000. Our lawyer had a hard time wrapping he head around the fact that Canada has two Queens: the Queen in Right of Canada, and the Queen in Right of the Province of BC. His head was spinning on that concept.

theheadmistress
  8/26/2018 21:29 EST

Hi there, how are you doing? Curious as to what you guys decided to do as my partner and I are in the same predicament. But the difference is we both do not have any plans to stay in the Philippines. Was considering getting married elsewhere and start our lives far away as possible. Dunno if that would work.

standupguy
  8/27/2018 00:23 EST

theheadmistress Look at Cuba. Americans can travel there regardless of Trump. Property rights are restored. It is very safe, no guns, gangs or drugs. Imagine, only 90 miles from Key West.

gelynch52ph
  8/28/2018 08:56 EST

You can possibly marry her in one of those places but you had better never step foot in The Philippines with her.
What is the penalty imposed by the Philippine laws on the man who contracted a bigamous marriage?

The penalty imposed upon persons who contracted a bigamous marriage is Prision Mayor or an imprisonment lasting from 6 years and 1 day to 12 years.



The penalty of prision mayor shall be imposed upon any person who shall contract a second or subsequent marriage before the former marriage has been legally dissolved, or before the absent spouse has been declared presumptively dead by means of a judgment rendered in the proper proceedings. (Article 349 of the Revised Penal Code of the Philippines)

standupguy
  8/28/2018 11:04 EST

Go to Arizona. Get a divorce for her in 90 days, for under $200. Get a AZ state drivers license first after 30 days. Play safe.

gelynch52ph
  8/28/2018 11:16 EST

standupguy: How is the woman going to get a divorce in Arizona? First she would have to get a visa to go there and unless she is wealthy, she won't be issued a visa. If she is wealthy, then she would have done the necessary bribing already for her annulment.

standupguy
  8/28/2018 11:45 EST

gelynch52ph I assumed she was naturalized American or living there on a green card. Thanks for correcting my assumption

GaryD
  8/28/2018 12:27 EST

Anyway if she did divorce in Arizona she still can't go back to the Philippines as her divorce won't be recognised in the Philippines.

standupguy
  8/28/2018 20:42 EST

GaryD Duterte changed that recently. Foreign divorces are recognized now.

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