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standupguy
  1/19/2015 04:40 EST

I have found that most Westerners I come across in public in the Philippines do not want to make eye contact with me. My filipina wife finds the same thing true in Canada when she encounters other Filipinos there. What is it with that? It's far easier on this blog to make contact than in real life.

CAteacher
  1/19/2015 12:48 EST

Thank you for making that observation. My wife and I noticed this too, even at shopping centres in Makati. I wonder if Westerners who reside in the Philippines unconsciously pick up the practice of not looking into the eyes of other people from the Filippino culture.

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annsmart
  1/19/2015 18:20 EST

It's normal in our culture...A lot of people dislike that. Even in job interviews, most applicants don't do eye contact and sometimes it is misunderstood as a negative trait but honestly not really. My husband and my in laws here in the US observed that from myself as well, they think I'm not confident enough but not really that's just how my Ph culture is....You can get use to it sooner or later but it's really awkward at first. Last vacation I went back in PH, I do eye contact with my friends when we talked and they felt awkward and found me very intimidating unlike in the past.

CAteacher
  1/19/2015 18:58 EST

Ann, my wife had a difficult time driving untill she allowed herself to look at other driver's eyes - particularly at intersections. Glad you've made that transition here.

poochewer
  1/20/2015 02:37 EST

Wrong is wrong, and right is right. It's foreigners have many traits that are wrong, without a doubt. But not making eye contact when communicating is wrong. It makes no difference what culture it's from. It's wrong and disrespectful. It stems I believe from the way parents treat their children in earlier life. ie: if they don't face a parent's wrath, then it can't harm them.

standupguy
  1/20/2015 05:04 EST

In Boston with its roundabouts the trick is to not look at the other drivers so they can maneuver in front of you since they make you think that they don't see you. It's all peripheral vision driving there.

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nucmedtech62
  1/20/2015 06:19 EST

I think this thread is getting off track. I believe your initial inquiry is about other foreigners in the Philipines not talking, greeting or even making eye contact with other foreigners.
I'm currently in Makati and while out everyday I have noticed almost every foreigner acts like you don't exist. I completely respect someone's anonymity, but when the Philipine people are abundantly polite, it makes foreigners look prudish or put off by another foreigner. Before I get ripped apart for that remark, I'll say that I'm not looking for dinner and a beer, just a simple acknowledgement. WhIle at the Mall of Asia today I walked up to a foreigner and asked him about a product I was looking for and found he was from the UK. When engaged other foreigners will reply, but until then, they act invisible.
On the other side of that coin. While at the mall we stopped to get a little bite at McDonald's. While in line I talked for several minutes with another American. It must have been the Atlanta Braves jersey I was wearing that gave my nationality away. He is from the St. Louis area. We talked a lot about sports and how some teams are doing back home. He told me about living in the Philipines for over 10 years back and forth and where he lives. It is people like him you want to meet and talk with. The information you can get from him is priceless. I'm sorry we only spoke for such a short time. I wish him well.
Anyway, don't give up trying to talk with other foreigners. Though they act a bit put out, I'll bet they enjoy talking with another foreigner.

Nephi
  1/20/2015 06:43 EST

Nucmedtech62, No one can rip you for telling the truth. And it is the truth. I've lived here for 12 years and see that same behavior every time we are in an area where foreign visitors are. I first noticed it years ago when in and around Angeles City. I assumed that *they* just kept a low profile as maybe there were here for the -wrong reasons- and felt embarrassed. But over time and some traveling away from our home area, I noticed it just about everywhere else too. Maybe they are all from LA, Chicago, or New York where the bulk of the people mind their own business and don't talk to many people--Hahaha.
Whatever the reason, you are right that it makes us look like a bunch of snobs. One place in Angeles though that I find a bunch of friendly people is in the VFW post. Good place to hang out.

cheftech
  1/20/2015 06:50 EST

Thought about joining the VFW Post 2485, but I remember in the past that there are lot of sleazy bars in the area. Maybe it has changed.

Nephi
  1/20/2015 08:10 EST

Cheftech, Yea there are many of those bars in that area. We, my wife and I, seldom venture into that area at all. The VFW though is on the other end of the red light dist. and on a side street. About the only time we go over there is if there is mail waiting from Social Security or the like. Only other time we go there would be for a good Thanksgiving dinner that they serve every year. Good food and sure beats cooking at home.
Although one can join the VFW, no membership is required to go in and enjoy a meal or to get information. All are welcome.

cheftech
  1/20/2015 08:16 EST

I'm a life member and I was looking for a VFW Post to hang out once I make the move.

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nucmedtech62
  1/20/2015 08:24 EST

Thank you Nephi. I was certain I was going to lose 10lbs of butt on that one. All I can figure is, most of us come from a place in the states where we wave, nod or acknowledge total strangers. Politeness to everyone is a part of life. As we get older we get used, screwed or worse and learn not to trust anyone, especially strangers. Add to that, you're in a foreign country and the senses are hightened. Staying to one's self and not being open is a form of self-preservation. I know it could happen to me after living here for awhile, but I hope not. I like being friendly.
Though they may not like it, I'm still going to say "hi" to every expat I see, regardless of nationality. Being here makes 29 different countries I've been to and I liked everyone of them. Maybe not Iraq. And I look forward to another 29.
Yes, I found the VFW in Angeles City online. I do plan on a visit. Hope they let me in, I don't have my DD-214 on me.

Thanks again Nephi for the backing.

YES, I will be here till March and I am very open to meet anyone. Josh

Nephi
  1/20/2015 08:39 EST

Nucmedtech62-Josh, I grew up in Southern California where you could live next door to someone for 20 years and never know their name and never want to. So in some ways I can understand the attitude--kinda. Eventually I had enough sense to leave Calif and live in rural Western states where everyone did wave at each other, say hello, and even stop to help if your car broke down or had a flat tire. Much better that way.
I say hi to other foreigners here if the opportunity presents itself but usually just walk on by as we shop or whatever. I think the 12 years of living here has made me more friendly than before. Especially the locals as we live in an area with the very poorest of the poor. Lots of great people here and love the time spent.
No problem getting into the VFW as all are welcome. I've even seen a few guys from Australia in there having a snack or a beer!
You're welcome for the backing. Right is right for sure.


Have a good one,

Nephi

clarkee
  1/20/2015 12:08 EST

Anyone is welcome to the VFW in Angeles. They just can't participate in VFW meetings or activities in which most VFW's don't allow. I'm a member and I've been to Post 2485 many times and what I remember is they serve some of the best food in town.

nucmedtech62
  1/20/2015 20:21 EST

This should help cheftech.

www.vfwpost2485.com

cheftech
  1/21/2015 07:48 EST

I already know. Google works wonders.

Borsia
  1/27/2015 00:22 EST

I can't say that I run into this often.
Most of the time when I see westerners we say hi or at least a nod. Often a quick conversation if there is time.
I'm a pretty outgoing guy and maybe that is why.
There are basically 3 types of expats; those who are outgoing and will open a conversation. Those who are a bit shy or introverted and will chat if you start. But there is a 3rd type the "snob". they live in fancier digs and don't want to talk to anyone they didn't meet at the country club. They aren't worth knowing and it is a blessing that they don't chat.

standupguy
  1/27/2015 01:03 EST

Borsia - Exactly!

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