standupguy
1/4/2017 22:37 EST
This sage advise was given to me by a 73 year old Filipina in Canada when I began dating my wife. I was so sure my wife was a good woman and would not cheat or lie. Our courtship was beautiful. After our marriage and my investment of $40,000 Canadian in our home and the building of a second house for $37,000 (all debt), she has cheated on me once. I intercepted 2 other attempts to cheat on me by figuring out her password to her iPhone. She has also destroyed tablets, headphones, cell phones, keyboards, legal records, drapes, windows, and antique map worth over $500, thrown me out of our home in the Philippines twice resulting in plane reservation charges of $587 added to previous reservation changes of about the same. She has smeared my reputation on Facebook. She has set me up by telling a young woman that I am annulling our marriage so she could marry me and then photographing the two of us. I fended her off. There have also been very special loving periods. I am turning 73 and have few opportunities left to attain the good life and happiness before I hit the ditch. Recently, I exposed another attempted affair where she invited a Westerner to meet with her in Davao after communicating loving messages to him for the month of December. I caught his alert saying "YOU ARE MY WOMAN". I am tired of the drama psycho and damage. I'm ready to throw in the towel. There is still love in me for her, but I get only negativity in return. Maybe she will come out of it again. I'm giving it a week. I know some of you guys have lucked out with good women here. But it is a minefield out there. I will still live here one way or another, but never get married again. So remember this: Never Trust a Filipina!
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charkee
1/4/2017 22:55 EST
Standupguy, I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I'm sure she is out to fleece the other guys too. She may have narcissistic personality disorder and is just plain using you. There is no cure for this disorder, she will never change.
I was married to a narcissist (and sociopath) for 22 years of misery. She was a great actress and could feign love when it was convenient. Every once in awhile she'd throw me a bone to keep me from running away from her. I should have run on the 3rd day of our marriage, that day I observed something was really messed up about her. But I was a fool, I thought I could help her. Biggest mistake of my life. She turned my kids against me and each other, she took my entire life's savings and home. I'm sorry I ever met her.
She's remarried and has another sap she is using just the same.
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Traco
1/4/2017 23:06 EST
Sounds like you picked a ripe one. Sorry to hear that, but there's no shortage of others to choose from. there! I've been married to my Filipina wife (20 years younger than me) for 26 wonderful years and she still treats me like a king. My younger brother has had the same experience - 20 years of wedded bliss. Unlike anything I ever experienced with caucasian women and I had many - Aussie, English, German, Russian, Greek, Italian, Chinese. Filipinas are in a class of their own.
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standupguy
1/5/2017 00:55 EST
Traco - well my Asawa coming around now. Assisted by her sister. The malaise ended sooner than I thought. Her par amore is handed off to a beautiful 19 year old neighbor. Mywarning him off stiffed him I guess. Being a spy keeps things honest
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draks
1/5/2017 02:15 EST
Sorry s u g if that was me I would be long gone, I don't forgive easy at all and I am vengeful, I would have taken a sledge hammer to the house when she was out, or setfire to both of them. Or sent her away for a nice long holiday and empty the place just before I leave would have a nice big bonfire burn everything I couldn't take including her clothes take all her jewellery and pawn it jump on an aeroplane to Thailand or Vietnam and start again. But with differences no buying houses no spoiling the woman no getting g married. I have said before and I'll say it again if you have a good woman who has stuck by you then that is pure luck it turned out that way. We all think oh my wife/gf would not do that, luck that's all just good luck.
I spoke to my then gf for 8. Months every day then after 8 months came here to visit for two weeks. Then every 8 months visit for a month for a further two years we got on so well it was unbelievable. When I came here I was not coming with rose tinted glasses, I had a plan b and c I had an area I could move to and accommodation plan just in case, I never even thought of buying and never did, but she never pressurised me or even mentioned it to be honest. I am one of the very lucky ones. But many are not so lucky.
Really sad story.
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draks
1/5/2017 02:43 EST
My third wife Was a Filipina in UK 20 years age gap we met got on great she was brilliant, I had a daughter 7 years old, well she was not my daughter, my 2nd wife had an affair, but I brought the child up as my own and loved her. 3 weeks after I married my filipina she started, she was totally jealous of my relationship with my daughter, threatened to tell her she wasn't really mine which she did many years later and broke my little girls heart. After being shouted at disrespected, had boiling water thrown at me the final straw was she hit me with an iron rod, it missed my head but hit my shoulder hard and I was off work for a week. I then decided enough was enough and moved out, lived on my boat for over 3 years. So I am not one of these guys who thinks all filipina are wonderful, I know they are not all wonderful. But as luck would have it my wife now is wonderful. But I was very wary for a long time. I am not a romantic man I do think have an ounce of romance in me any more. I am very affectionate, very supportive and very protective but romantic?
We have both talked about if one of us should leave we are both the same, we would be devastated, but we would not die. I know I can get a gf here if I want one, and equally I know she could easily get another man but we stick together I don't have money we just live ok. I love her completely and we both tell each other all the time,so for me its great but it was pure luck for both of us. Oh and age gap 37 years gap as good together today as the first time we met. Together 24/7 literally. Never been apart for more than a few hours. That alone would normally end up in a split, but we are just so good together, her excellent English helps I guess. Had about 7 or 8 arguments in the whole time we have been together 6 years 24/7.
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standupguy
1/5/2017 03:00 EST
draks - you guys sound like us. OMG your post made me feel a lot better. We have had a few more arguememts though. My wife is handing off her recent boyfriend wannabe to a 19 year old young woman who has eye candy qualities.
What is it with this deep love thing? Blessing in disguise???
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Spruik
1/5/2017 04:41 EST
Selfishness in a relationship leads inevitably to conflict.
Many don't have the capacity to see beyond that.
Our lovely Asian ladies are no exception. They just draw more affinity based on appearance (from our point of view).
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ACEPoolPlayer
1/5/2017 08:33 EST
Standupguy,
It's a learning process that everyone needs to understand. It's very hard to trust anyone completely but for some reason in the Philippine culture there are lies and white lies all over the place. I understand your situation, you are not a spring chicken, you've had a number of good recent successful years with your wife an it's too hard to start all over again. Once they have cheated, lied directly to your face about something that's important to you, it will definitely happen again. If the good is better than the bad and you can deal with it, forgive, remember, learn and make the best of it. You are past 70, relatively happy, the are good chances it couldn't get any better than you already have it. Just be smarter an learn how to deal with it better. You have a good background, control your emotions and figure out how to proceed. Being a spy is not the way to go. It will drive you crazy. I've read everyone of your post for a long time. I'm not saying I agree with your wife's action but it sounds like she might be going through the basic mid life crisis, among probably other things. Be smart, remain calm, think it out.
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Spruik
1/5/2017 16:34 EST
>>>
... but it sounds like she might be going through the basic mid life crisis,
<<<
At 73 it's not mid-life.
Many of us (including me) are same age and after your life has been ruined and the kids have been set up against you from their early formatting years, there is nothing to forgive.
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VILLAN
1/9/2017 16:13 EST
Mate why is she still alive i would have done away with that snake years ago.
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ron503
1/9/2017 18:30 EST
Im Filipino, and this topic reminds me of what my grandfather told when I was a young buck, "Never marry a white girl, she will just take your hard earned money and run". But those sayings were the belief of the past. Never really paid attention to it, I still dated a white girl in college, hehe.
People need to realize the priorities in Women in Filipino culture.
#1 God
#2 Parents
#3 Husband
#4 Children
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Spruik
1/9/2017 19:50 EST
Any well-balanced person would have God as #8.
The First Dynamic is SELF.
This is the effort to survive as an individual, to be an individual. It includes one’s own body and one’s own mind. It is the effort to attain the highest level of survival for the longest possible time for self. This dynamic includes the individual plus his immediate possessions. It does not include other people. It is the urge to survive as one’s self. Here we have individuality expressed fully.
The Second Dynamic is CREATIVITY.
Creativity is making things for the future and the Second Dynamic includes any creativity. The Second Dynamic contains the family unit and raising children as well as anything that can be categorized as a family activity. It also, incidentally, includes sex as a mechanism to compel future survival.
The Third Dynamic is GROUP SURVIVAL.
This is the urge to survive through a group of individuals or as a group. It is group survival with the group tending to take on a life and existence of its own. A group can be a community, friends, a company, a social lodge, a state, a nation, a race or any group. It doesn’t matter what size this group is, it is seeking to survive as a group.
The Fourth Dynamic is SPECIES.
Man’s Fourth Dynamic is the species of Mankind. This is the urge toward survival through all Mankind and as all Mankind. Whereas the American nationality would be considered a Third Dynamic for Americans, all the nationalities of the world together would be considered the Fourth Dynamic. All men and women, because they are men and women, seek to survive as men and women and for men and women.
The Fifth Dynamic is LIFE FORMS.
This is the urge to survive as life forms and with the help of life forms such as animals, birds, insects, fish and vegetation. This includes all living things whether animal or vegetable, anything directly and intimately motivated by life. It is the effort to survive for any and every form of life. It is the interest in life as such.
The Sixth Dynamic is the PHYSICAL UNIVERSE.
The physical universe has four components. These are matter, energy, space and time. The Sixth Dynamic is the urge of the physical universe to survive, by the physical universe itself and with the help of the physical universe and each one of its component parts.
The Seventh Dynamic is the SPIRITUAL DYNAMIC.
This is the urge to survive as spiritual beings or the urge for life itself to survive. Anything spiritual, with or without identity, would come under the heading of the Seventh Dynamic. It includes one’s beingness, the ability to create, the ability to cause survival or to survive, the ability to destroy or pretend to be destroyed. A subheading of this dynamic is ideas and concepts and the desire to survive through these. The Seventh Dynamic is life source. This is separate from the physical universe and is the source of life itself. Thus, there is an effort for the survival of life source.
The Eighth Dynamic is the urge toward existence as INFINITY.
The Eighth Dynamic also is commonly called God, the Supreme Being or Creator, but it is correctly defined as infinity. It actually embraces the allness of all. That is why, when the Seventh Dynamic is reached in its entirety, one will only then discover the true Eighth Dynamic.”
Source: L. Ron Hubbard, Church of Scientology
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standupguy
1/9/2017 20:47 EST
Spruik -Very interesting cognitive hierarchy. I appreciated the thoughts. Slalmat Po
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standupguy
1/9/2017 21:01 EST
ron503 I believe the priorities of Filipina's are:
1. Self
2. Money
3. Parents & Children
4. Husband
5. Status symbols
6. God for some.
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standupguy
1/9/2017 21:09 EST
VILLAN - It's not that I haven't truly experienced my rage, I have and I hate loosing control emotionally. Yet there are also sustaining periods of deep love, intimacy, and great companionship. I believe her mood swings are largely due to her lower estrogen count. When you are deep in love, forgiveness is not such a difficult task. "for better or for worse" were part of my wedding vow. Love is imperfect and translates as understanding. I understand my wife having iron personality armor for what she has been through. Inside her armor is a young a lonely woman craving to end her separateness with someone. ME
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Spruik
1/9/2017 21:12 EST
Filipinas like to promote themselves as "God fearing".
Whenever I respond with that I have no reason to fear God, I get into some useless argument... LOL
Nearly all Catholics just follow their church dogma - few know what Christianity actually teaches.
Try teaching them what "Son of God" really means (straight from their Bible)... and you might get killed for blasphemy...
If you haven't been killed yet, dismiss the concept of the 'Virgin Mary' and the 'Immeculate Conception'...
May God help you... LOL
PS
I was Catholic once... now an Infidel.
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Spruik
1/9/2017 21:19 EST
Standupguy:
"for better or for worse" were part of my wedding vow.
Any such agreement must by definition be mutual, or there can be no agreement. If one party dishonours that, the other one has no obligation,
When I married my first Pinay and Visa Scammer, she said "for better only" - with a grin.
Problem was, she meant it.
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standupguy
1/9/2017 21:39 EST
Spruik - yes, you are right if you are inside the box. My love for my wife is not a transaction of marriage vows. lo It's unconditional love. I never had a problem with her stealing money (she never has) though some of her purchases are not necessary (2 cell phones?). Money is not her thing. Who knows where our river leads. It has come close to imploding many times, only to recover at the final moment. I've never been in a relationship like this. When its going good, it is exceptionally good. I am not glutton for punishment though. Plan B is always there.
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dustyroadsagain
1/10/2017 15:41 EST
Standupguy...
Once a cheater, always a repeter!
As someone made mention....... she's a narcissistic type!
I know this because I have been living with one, now my EX. She was the love & light to me, I TOTALLY fell in live with her family & still do adore & honor them!
How could I ever believe that he devil herself could be spawned from such an incredible family of love&strenth????
Married - had 2 boys, brought her here to Norcal, had a regular simple life I guess? I never hung out,went drinking, anything other than being husband/father.
About a year&1/2 ago she was pregnant. .... baby came out BLASIAN. .... I AM IRISH!
Quickly I divorced her! Blamed the eldest son on the marriage not working - blamed me for the affair because I didn't give her enough attention & I smoke cigarettes & she needed money?
A narcissistic person ALWAYS BLAMES everything /everyone except themselves! If there is no trust, deceit, lies & covert actons then there is nothing more than living it as vacariously as one dies because of being alone & starting over from scratch with the trama&blame.
I am in healing process of realizing that I was the host-target-victim . They will move from 1 to another to satisfy their personal agenda.
I pray you wellness as I also shall attempt to strengthen myself when I move to a different island other than hers and start over again ;)
Good luckwith your situation
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Spruik
1/10/2017 17:38 EST
DustyRoadsAgain,
BLASIAN = Black Asian?
Norcal = Where is that?
>>> Once a cheater, always a repeter!
That is correct.
I used to think in terms of forgiving lies and infidelities. Then I learned (and realized) that such things are attributes of one's character.
Even small 'white' lies give away what goes on inside one's head.
I had to learn the hard way, being totally naive once. But the price for the lesson was too high, much too high.
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charkee
1/10/2017 18:17 EST
I feel sorry for anybody involved with a narcissist and race does not matter. My first wife was Mayan and a real piece of work. Narcissistic personality disorder, oppositional defiance disorder, delusional paranoia and munchausen's by proxy all rolled into a demon incarnate, but cute as all get out. Nothing I ever did, said or thought was good or right. I was always wrong, bad and stupid. She turned my kids against me and against each other and took sadistic pleasure in doing so.
A friend married a narc pinay wife. another married a Swedish narc. Narcs are attracted to good people that are forgiving and want to help others.
After 22 years the only things she left me were paranoia and PTSD and a hatred for her so intense I could not sleep at night.
I'm not so forgiving anymore. I will no longer put up with difficult people and that includes my own narc kids.
Demons incarnate, evil as hell.
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Spruik
1/10/2017 18:40 EST
>>> oppositional defiance disorder
My older sister is one of them. Her husband could no longer live with her as everything he said, she invalidated.
In fact I recognised my whole family to be bunch of sociopaths who betrayed each other and will never apologise for anything (they can't see how they damage others with their words).
Most siblings do not talk to each other, except for arguing.
My kids have also been turned against me in their formatting years. Now as adults, to them I am a real evil bastard.
But they don't talk to each other either.
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dustyroadsagain
1/10/2017 18:42 EST
Yes..... BLACK- ASIAN. .... how's that going to get me to think it was mine????? Lol!
Yes Northern California
I somehow still feel as thou a good Pinay is out there waiting for me in Cebu?????
I really don't like American women. ...... TONS of baggage!
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Sisibatac
1/10/2017 18:44 EST
Yet, how many frickin' times do you hear so many foreign dirtbags from all over the web telling the rest of us that the Philippines is paradise?
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nunzio
1/10/2017 18:52 EST
charkee you made my day!!!..and hear i thought i was the only one left that would not tolerate bad manners,rude,or just plain mean evil people..... being a high school teacher i deal with it much to often...also was married to a satin spawn......but got out of that in 10 month.....sometimes it takes more then a few years to know someone...nunz...
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charkee
1/10/2017 21:01 EST
Nunzio, I taught Spanish in a Philippine high school and the students were respectful. You were smart to get out after 10 months, I wish I did so. My life would have so much better.
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seernai
1/10/2017 21:06 EST
Speak for yourself sisibatac just because some people don't encounter problems does not make them a dirt bag people speak from personal experiences so you cannot say every where is bad nor is every official here corrupt
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seernai
1/10/2017 21:12 EST
The Dirt bags are those people who try to make everyone else's life here a misery will h all their negative comments, No country is 100% safe most people living here are aware of the Dangers and act accordingly
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Spruik
1/11/2017 03:37 EST
DustyRoadsAgain,
>>>
I somehow still feel as thou a good Pinay is out there waiting for me in Cebu?????
<<<
Many guys who told me in the past that if you want to be happy with a Pinay wife, keep her happy and keep her in the Philippines.
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dustyroadsagain
1/11/2017 03:51 EST
Spruik,
200% agreement with you!
I am setting up my business in Cebu City and have had quite enough of the flying monkeys of America ;)
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standupguy
1/11/2017 06:05 EST
Spruik - absolutely right. Keeping someone happy assumes its your responsibility. That is only part of it. Keep them in the Philippines is dead centre. Stay on control of your money, don't use Facebook or Messenger. Be careful when someone has their camera out. Learn Tagalog.
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Spruik
1/11/2017 17:26 EST
On the matter of facebook...
A short story here. Not about a Pinay but Asian nonethess (Cambodian). I knew this couple personally, he has an important position in a well-known bank and values his privacy.
So they got married not long ago and bought a new house in Sydney. At $1.5m it's not a dreamhouse by Sydney standards, but to her... she has to trump the value to all her friends (using facebook of course). As well as all their candle-light dinners.
The bitch also interfered in my relationship with my GF.
More ecently they took a tour (by car) from Sydney to Tasmania and anyone could read all about it on a daily basis, including what they ate for dinner and where, complete with photos.
In a (not so friendly) email exchange I had with the husband, I suggested he familiarize himself with the facebook posts.
Next day, that facebook account disappeared and we never heard from that couple again.
I believe she had to leave Australia.
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standupguy
1/12/2017 04:45 EST
Spruik. Making the other person look wrong so they look right by accusing the other person for doing what they are doing. Projective identification, malingering.
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draks
1/12/2017 08:40 EST
Dustyroadsagain
You do know as a foreigner here you can only own 40% of any business, so how are you going to run a business in Cebu. Unless you are now a Filipino citizen of course
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draks
1/14/2017 03:35 EST
I have never been to Thailand, but my brother went everywhere year for about 10 years he stopped about 2 years ago, he felt the atmosphere towards foreigners were changing for the worst. I belong to Thaivisa.com and every week there is need of a foreigner being killed, most of them suicide hmmmmmmm go half way round the world to strip naked and jump from a balcony, tie yourself to a post in the sea and slit your own throat and yesterday a guy was found with plastic bags around his head . All had gf's who were miles away at the time of death. So for me Philippines with all its problems seems to me to be a better place to be. Seems Thai girls can scam just as good as some Filipina. I was going to to Thailand to live but decided against at it. And the guys In that group are such snobs and self righteous my god. We get some strangeness here occasionally but Thai visa is full of them haha.
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seernai
1/14/2017 04:30 EST
Hi Draks I went to Thailand 20 years ago First I went up north to a place called Khon Kaen for a week then came back to Bangkok for a couple of days then I went to Pattaya, it was ok at that time I went to Kho Samui on a boat trip that was nice as well , the Thai People at that time were respectful to Foreigners as long as Foreigners were respectful to them. I was in Thailand for one month I had a good time kept out of trouble,
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draks
1/14/2017 06:16 EST
I would visit Thailand but would not want to stay in pattaya, not my scene at all, I was going to move to Chiang Mai but have been put off a bit now will see what happens. Was put off by the 90 day visa run as well. There is talk of changing visas so no 90 day run.
Philippines is supposed to be making visa extensions online to save time at the bi, you fill in all the appropriate forms online and just go to the office to have your passport stamped June 1st is the deadline.
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Spruik
1/14/2017 15:05 EST
^
That is, if your internet connection works.
Still, you need to visit some office.
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dennes
1/20/2017 06:25 EST
im my opinion, every country always have a women like that. not that i in filipino side, but that's what i thought. because i met many of my indonesian women friend, also like that, and i was very mad.
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Spruik
1/20/2017 17:12 EST
Guys get pissed off with the Philippines because the girls are usually (or have been) presented as making "loving and faithful wives'.
Western girls are not presented like that (so no false illusions).
That's the difference.
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draks
1/20/2017 18:21 EST
Well very very many are loyal and loving wives, but there are always the horror stories, my ex wife was one of those stories,but my wife now is the total opposite.
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freetheirminds2
1/20/2017 18:25 EST
I concur, at east with the false advertising put out by Filipinas.
I used to go to Christian Filipina Dating Site a lot. Many of the girl's descriptions started out, "I am a simple, Christian woman with basic needs."
Well, that is just not truthful. The majority of girls looking for a foreign husband have tjeir hopes set on reaping a large financial windfall.
Now, that dream comes true for a fewu girls. They do meet a well-to-do foreigner and suddenly the impoverished, barefoot gal is rolling in dough.
She has a house, new clothes and money for relatives. Does all that new found wealth bring her happiness--especially when she thinks of what she has to do to get it--?? Sometimes not.
And for a few Filipinas, their rich foreigner turns out to be just an average guy on a budget. Like myself.
Then you have to get your new girlfriend to face up to reality after she has seen her girlfriends striking it rich. And that can be
a hard sell.
This is my experience.
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Spruik
1/20/2017 19:28 EST
I had two marriages with two Filipinas. The first one woke me up from my ignorance. Pre-planned to leave after 5 years and take me to the cleaners to try and get my house.
I was all pre-planned, even before we married. What followed was a nightmare I never recovered from.
The second one an educated lady, but she also considered it her 'human right' to have a romantic relationship with another man. Again, that marriage lasted 5 years,
She said earlier that she would never want any money from me... well, she lied.
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draks
1/21/2017 00:30 EST
On iTunes there are videos of guys chatting up a girl he is average dressed only in a t shirt and jeans she refuses then he walks to his Lamborghini and all of a sudden she wants a date, he turnaround and says no I don't like gold diggers.nir just one girl but one after another. This is in USA by the way.
Any man that throws money at any woman is looking for trouble, Philippines or anywhere.
There are gold-diggers everywhere but in Philippines they are more obvious about it.
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standupguy
1/21/2017 01:24 EST
Spruik Sounds like my Canadian common-law & ex wife. Pretenders are false tricksters. Opportunists, a little sociopath with a side order of narcissism. True love is a gamble. You finally see the truth sooner or later. How contradictory can someone be without a pang of conscience sooner or later.
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standupguy
1/21/2017 01:29 EST
draks compliments on your reversal of fortune. The jury is still out debating mine.
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seernai
1/21/2017 05:52 EST
Not all Filipino women are looking for a sari sari store sugar Daddy there are women you can actually trust here I know a couple of guys here who have been married for 25 years to Filipino women and are very happy and no they are not rich I also have a brilliant partner who accepts me for who I am not for how much money I have and has never asked me for material things or money , I know there are unlucky guys but If you do your research beforehand it can help to Lower the risk ,
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draks
1/21/2017 06:22 EST
How can you research a woman? Haha. My ex wife was a brilliant gf for two years, but 3 weeks into our marraige and the true beast came out jealous of my 7 year old daughter, jealous of my friends even jealous of my boat. She was nasty disrespectful and violent. None of these traits did I see during our two years as bf and gf. This was in the UK by the way, I met her thru a dating agency, not online, before internet. She wrecked my relationship with my daughter and fell out with my family because she couldn't control her mouth or temper and jealousy. How could I have researched that lol?
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seernai
1/21/2017 07:44 EST
You can Research by asking neighbors and relatives, again not every woman is bad only individuals you cannot condemn a whole country based on a bad experience I found that out for myself
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mootpoint20
1/21/2017 14:01 EST
It seems that shortly after marriage the 'bugs come out of the woodwork' or relatives, wishing for a 'better' life.
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trappedinhell
1/21/2017 20:36 EST
That is why there's the word "dating". You need to get to know the woman first. Her character, background, interest, views about life, etc... This may take a year or more. If you think she's a keeper or the right gal for you then that's the time to commit. "Test the waters".
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draks
1/21/2017 22:45 EST
I talked to my wife on skype fo rnearly two years in all came to see her three times in that two years, then decided to come here, we get on really really well, but I still came with a plan b and c in case it didn't work out, I was not like a love lorn teenager I knew the chances could be not good, but luckily it turned out really good for both of us, we live ok not got money to burn but we are ok, I am fortunate enough to have been able to travel around a bit. We have small arguments now and then but very rarely and talk out any disagreement we might have. But it's just luck that's all. I couldn't ask neighbours or and family if she was kosher, for a start family are hardly going to say she is a bitch, and neighbours? They would probably tell her I am asking a lot of questions about her, research a woman? I don't think k that's totally possible to be honest. Those of us that are in a good loving relationship are just plain lucky. And long may that last. As for trusting, I don't trust easily especially women. I have been a lier and a cheater all my adult life never been faithful to any woman ever, I know how easy it is to cheat, so I think k that's one reason I don't trust easy. Not anyone really.
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freetheirminds2
1/22/2017 10:54 EST
To Seemai and all the others who think you can hedge your bets on women (especially Filipnas):
You spends your money, you take your chances.
No way can you "control" the situation except in the sense of "damage control."
Basic fact you are bucking: people change. Women change and you change over time. You and her's nature in all aspects evolve slowly and sometimes quickly. Everyone's priorities change.
If you think you got a handle on it, just wait 'til tomorrow when the other shoe will drop.
The best method is to try to keep the upper hand. Keep an ace in the hole and I do not necessarily mean a woman.
I mean a spare parachute :)
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nunzio
1/22/2017 11:41 EST
freetheirminds2...very nice...and for me this is also a truth...i will only add this .nun of us were put on this earth to control there spouse....
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seernai
1/22/2017 18:51 EST
Good morning Sisibatac that depends on the woman , not only here but all over the world
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Spruik
1/22/2017 19:02 EST
Of course, if we (men) cannot provide we are useless.
Cannot hold that against the woman... you can observe that everywhere in nature.
My policy is (and always has been) never to talk about money. Just create a perception.
Alas, that may not work once you are married...
NO MONEY, NO HONEY
lol
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draks
1/22/2017 23:43 EST
That's why I have said on here have an escape plan and the money to execute that plan. And never buy land and build a house straight away rent for two years or more then if you are still blissfully happy then CONSIDER it. Big problem here is you spend millions of pesos here on something you can never own
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TeeJay4103
1/23/2017 03:23 EST
When you're married to a Filipina
Saw this a while back and it's always good for a laugh or two.
_________________________________________________________________________________
You may be married to a Filipina if:
You may be Married to a Filipina if...
• your refrigerator is always full but you cannot find any food that you recognize.
• instead of a dowry, you got the whole bill for the wedding and honeymoon.
• most of the decorations in your house are made of wicker.
• you are expected to be able to read her mind just by watching her eyebrows move up and down and which way her lips are pointed.
• all her relatives think your name is Joe.
• the instant you are married you have 3000 new close relatives that you can't tell apart.
• your house isn't really on fire, but there is a very charred fish right on top of the stove burner.
• all the desserts are sticky and all the snacks are salty.
• she eats her fruit with giant salt crystals and her fried chicken with ketchup.
• even the ketchup tastes weird... very weird.
• you throw a party and everyone is fighting to chop the leathery skin off a dead pig.
• all your kids have 4-5 middle names.
• your in-laws take 10 years to acknowledge your existence and to call you by something other than "that white guy".
• you try to call her up on the phone and someone tells you "for a while" and you want to know "for a while, what??"
• you are trying to go to sleep and she keeps asking for the comFORT'r, and you ain't got a clue what she's talking about...
• your first Christmas present is some funny looking baggy see-thru shirt made out of leftover lace doilies.
• your phone bills are all international and average 3 hours per call.
• she sweeps with something that witches usually fly around on.
• her idea of classy, expensive champagne is Asti Spumanteh
• the rice cooker is on 24 hours a day and uses up 50% of your electric and food budget.
• on your first trip to the Philippines, you have 18 giant boxes that weigh 1000 pounds each and your "carry on" luggage requires a small forklift truck.
• the same luggage is over filled with things that cost an average of 15 cents each like old magazines and M&Ms -- the worst part is when you get off the plane, the same stuff you've been hauling around half way around the world is available in every store in the airport for half the price!
• all her pajamas look like they were worn by the Dalai Lama until they got too faded.
• the first time she's pregnant you have to go out at 4:00 in the morning looking for some weird type of greasy sausages, green mangoes and bagoong.
• You buy a new $500 freezer so she can store 200 pounds of SPAM and CORNED BEEF that was on sale.
• everything in your house was bought on sale, even if you don't need it .. as long as it was a "bargain" is all that matters.
• she gets really excited by sucking the fat out of pig knees.
• your daughter gets her ears pierced when she's 2 minutes old but your sons are not circumcised until they turn 21.
• all your postage bills instantly double.
• you hire a yaya because your wife thinks you clean mirrors with soap and a sponge and the yaya seems cheaper than a divorce.
• the only "white meat" she likes is You, and that's if you're lucky...
• her favorite sauce is called patis, Americans call it turpentine.
• she actually thinks that bowling and golf and billiards are real sports and are more important than baseball and football.
• you were married 5 years before she explained to you that "ARAY!" doesn't mean "ooh, baby!"
• she prefers bistek to beef steak.
• her idea of new upholstery is rinsing the bagoong stains out of the slip covers.
• she can eat and talk at the same time, in fact that's her especialty!
• her favorite meal is leftovers, her favorite fancy dessert is Jello mold and for something REALLY romantic, she'll offer you a halo-halo with 2 straws.
• you still don't know what's the difference between manong and manok.
• she and the kids are always saying "Daddy made utot" and you still don't know what it means but they think it's pretty funny.
• other than eyebrow raising and lip puckering, her next most expressive form of communication is grunts and pssst's
• she goes to the movies just for the AC.
• her homeland has more Megamalls than islands.
• before every holiday and visit, her sisters fax you a 10 page "bilin" list which says "suggestion only".
• your kitchen table has a merry-go-round in the middle.
• all the vegetables she buys at the Filipino store look like they were grown at Chernobyl.
• your in-law's first visit lasted 5 years.
• her friends are named Chinky, Girlie, Boy and Bimbo and you are not allowed to smirk.
• her home economics course only taught shopping, eating and siesta; cooking, cleaning and sewing were not electives.
• her idea of edifying reading is gossip magazines.
• all your place settings has the silverware backwards and there are no knives.
• she washes her hair with a bucket and her car with a broom.
• she uses an umbrella even if its not raining.
• her favorite book (she has 3 copies) is "1001 New Recipes for Pig Parts You Were Gonna Throw Out"
• you are the only family in a 200 mile radius with 2 VCRs, 3 televisions.
• she's done her best job planning a surprise party for you if she manages not to tell you about it until a week or two before.
• she "cleans" her closet by throwing all the crap into your closet.
• there's always singing in your house, even when the radio's off.
• your own mom, who was lukewarm about your marriage originally, now calls you long distance...to talk to your wife, not to you.
• your family announces that in the unlikely event of a divorce between you and your wife, she will always have a place to stay,but you better find a new family.
• your wife asks to get a job so that you will both have a little extra money, then thanks you for not complaining about having to drive her to work.
• your wife has a contagious smile.
• you both decide to divide your spare income, and you spend yours on a computer game or a power tool, only to learn that she spent her money buying clothes for you.
• she might not have had a second pair of shoes growing up, but she's rapidly making up for lost time.
• everything in your house is "namebrand".
• you have a Western Union "Preferred Customer" card. Really.
• you complain when your wife tells you that longaniza is only for breakfast.
• you learn to like rice, even plain.
• you have a budget.
• she may only tell you she loves you once in awhile. But, she SHOWS you that she loves you in everything she does and says.
• you go to sleep each night knowing you're the luckiest man in the world.
• AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST: you are pretty proud of yourself because you think you snagged up for yourself some unique, rare, tropical goddess type until you go to the Philippines and can't tell her apart from anyone else in the whole country (unless she's taller than 5'1", then it's a bit easier).
• BONUS ENCORE: it was your wife's idea for you to write this cause she thought it was funny...for a while though until the list got TOO LONG!!!
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loangfarmer
1/23/2017 11:46 EST
Very, very FUNNY and right On! It had me rolling on the floor and quickly heading to the bathroom to urinate. You should write some more of this stuff or whatever comes to your mind. Note that I'm a 70 y.o Filipino with tons of relatives in the PI. Moved to the States when I was 10 y.o., but can still speak Cebuano and Tagalog. Looking forward to your next post.
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Sisibatac
1/24/2017 23:07 EST
I found that all you have to do to know a girl is study her siblings and parents like they are a college class and with no emotions involved. If there are red flags, they will shine bright if you pat attention
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Sisibatac
1/24/2017 23:12 EST
Very true, Seernai. I think it is universal that women chase the wallet, but do not say to avoid looking tacky. I dated women from all walks of life and not one would have dated a scrap metal collector
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draks
1/25/2017 08:20 EST
My cousin is a scrap metal dealer and is a millionaire, he wanted me to join him when he started up but I refused , me a scrap metal dealer? No way, what a plonker.
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Spruik
1/25/2017 19:10 EST
>>>
Very true, Seernai. I think it is universal that women chase the wallet, but do not say to avoid looking tacky. I dated women from all walks of life and not one would have dated a scrap metal collector
<<<
I would also have said that scrapmetal dealers are among the wealthiest.
It's just their perception.
On another note... when you bring a Pinay to your country, she will make friends exclusively among other Pinays, and there are rotten eggs among them.
Your innocent honest wifey might well get corrupted by some of them.
They all know 'a good lawyer' and before you know it, the plot against you is being executed.
Know who her friends are... but there's nothing much you can do about it.
END OF RANT
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seernai
1/25/2017 20:02 EST
My innocent wifey as you call her is not stupid and is well aware of what goes on in other relationships she is her own person so much so she has banned her extended family from coming near her and trying to interfering in our lives she will not put up with crap from anyone trying to put her down and judging her.also both her grown up sons protect me and their mother from people who try to interfere in our lives.
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TeeJay4103
1/25/2017 20:10 EST
Seernai,
My wife is the same and while living in the states she had zero interest in joining local Pinay groups and made friends with our neighbors and the people she worked with.
She always puts our family first and continues to do so. She is also extremely frugal when it comes to our finances and has always been so. I could not have done any better in a relationship and it continues to grow stronger every day.
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seernai
1/25/2017 21:06 EST
I guess we're both Lucky Teejay, sadly there are a few who are not so lucky, the other day I met a Brit who has got involved with a separated Filipino he helped buy a house for her and spent a fortune doing it up now she is playing games with him and says in her home town leaving him in the house alone,now he has regretted coming here he thinks she has gone back to her Husband, I did tell him why get involved let alone buy a house for her in the first place ? Crazy huh ? But no doubt he won't be the last to get into this situation
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draks
1/25/2017 23:35 EST
Don't buy bloody houses for a woman you barely know just rent. It's cheap enough. Unfortunately men are basically stupid and way too trusting too easily
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seernai
1/25/2017 23:44 EST
Correct, by the way I have not and will never do that , in my case it was my partners son who bought our house for his mother
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Spruik
1/26/2017 05:22 EST
By the way...
If you marry the wrong girl, you can lose a lot more than half your assets:
1. You can lose all of your assets
2. You can lose your dignity
3. You can lose respect from friends and family
4. You can lose friends
5. You can even lose some of your family
6. You can lose your own kids
7. And lose most of your future income as child support
8. You can lose trust and confidence in yourself
9. Lose your chances for a happy life
I am writing up my colourful story. Will post a link in due course.
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Moytopia88
1/26/2017 06:21 EST
What are my chances of finding a Filipina who will support me and give me a place to live ?
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Yeochief
1/26/2017 07:13 EST
Spruik,
This sounds like a list you can apply to women from any country, I know that for a fact here in the good ole United States. Remember not all women are the same, that would be wrong to say that.
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seernai
1/26/2017 09:58 EST
Not exactly a big fat Zero I know of a Dutch Guy who did exactly that having been ripped off for 2 million peso by one woman and left in Manila to fend for himself with nothing , up to his neck in hotel bill and immigration fees He was introduced to a very wealthy Filipino lady who paid everything for him and fixed him up in a condo and gives him a 1000 peso a day spending money it was a million to 1 chance but it happend so yes as I said it can happen
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mddwyer19
1/26/2017 10:27 EST
I am sorry about your misfortunes
But I do not think it's fair to stereotype a whole nationality . I know many good Filipinos. We also have our good and bad. Good luck and move on.
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freetheirminds2
1/26/2017 11:54 EST
Stereotyping? Stereotyping is a valid defense mechanism used the world over, to catagorize large groups. Many large groups hold sizable and untrustworthy subgroups.. In this case the subgroup can be named: "Vulture Filipinas.."
Now, not all Filipinas are "Vultures," but enough of them ARE to warrant the use of the anti-intellectual practice of stereotyping, But this THREAD is not an academic search for truth but rather cautionary tales TO PROTECT you from a real danger, to your happiness, peace of mind and loss of your financial assets.
Now if you find the exception that proves the rule, lets call them--"Goldenhearted Filipinas," (for all you fairy dust believers), just consider yourself quite fortunate. But your lottery winner type luck does not help the large number of expat pigeons flocking here. What does help these unfortunate and horny halfwits is an injection of stereotyping, skepticism, and reality.
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Spruik
1/26/2017 13:39 EST
Yeochief,
>>>
Remember not all women are the same, that would be wrong to say that.
<<<
I did not suggest that all women are the same.
There is nothing more humiliating than to be cleaned out by a visa scammer with her tax-funded lawyers, after you sponsored her and gave her a good life.
The ones who move on are the bitches. Many of these guys cannot move on anymore. Psychologically and financially bankrupted.
To top it off, they often get bullied and/or rediculed by family & (former) friends, for 'having been so stupid'..
At the time I talked with some social workers, some of these guys shot the bitch and then himself.
I don't hate Pinays, each is an individual to me. But extreme caution is warranted.
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draks
1/26/2017 19:43 EST
Seernai
The Dutch guy was just very very lucky, but it will not last forever, if he is now sitting back and thinks he is set up for life, he is in for a big fall, yet again. You can't rely on other people for your lifestyle, he should have borrowed the money and gone home, sorted his life out and started again. His sugar mummy will tire of paying for him to do nothing then he will be back where he started.
We can all say we know someone who, got lucky but the fact is in this case he was lucky to the nth degree, the vast majority of women would not do what she is doing. But I still think unless he sorts out his own life he will fall once again, one big argument and that's it, out you go. Stupid stupid man if he thinks he is sorted now.
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TeeJay4103
1/26/2017 22:41 EST
freetheirminds2.
Good post....and true. For the newbies, the raw and unfiltered truth is what they deserve and not some candy coated review of the paradise that can only exist in one's own life through caution, hard word and attitude and of course, your definition of paradise. Any relationship takes a hell of a lot of work to succeed and chances are the woman you choose with reflect somewhat who you are.
While my 11 years with my wife is more than I could have hoped for, it takes work and patience as do all relationships. Along the way I spoke with a lot of Filipinas who while being some great eye candy, below the surface were not so pretty or we had so little in common in every way that the red flag said to discard this one move on. There were scammers and holier than thous and many whom seemed to have no common sense or maturity at all.
With mine it was a two year talk meet and talk some more before taking a chance on a future together. She was tough and asked me many questions over and over to see if the answer would change, as I also did with her. As with most relationships, you always put the best foot forward, as we did as we got to know each other, The questions were blunt and honest and sometimes a little harsh, why not, it's your life. Along the way, I met or talked with her large family, never once was I asked for money. With those that did, I walked away.
Her house was immaculate and was owned by family in the states, she was a non drinker (no offense to those who do), she did not smoke and and was frugal and simple when it came to her lifestyle. She was a hard worker and respected, I could see it in her families interactions with her as well as with her friends. To this day that has not changed. Her family asks for nothing.
Scammers here are smart, patient and organized and can leave you lying on the street with nothing and nowhere to go. A friend got involved with a young lady from CDO who apparently seduced him with some online nudity and a little dirty talk after they had spoke for a while, She would not ask for money, but there was always a sick relative who needed help and eventually he would send money. She was invited to his family and friends Facebook page where things began to change. She began asking for more money, poor me sick buffalo scam. He began to refuse and in spite of warnings from my wife and I, he continued talking with her and as she became more and more insistent on a long term commitment and money using the "if you care for me and love me, why would you not want to help my family" scam. The relationship collapsed, and she sent some of their nude interlude photos she had taken to his family and friends on Facebook, it took a real toll on his family relationships in the U.S.
My wife and I watched him in the Phil with other women. He flashed his cash, told them of all the money he has and the large family home in the states, he brags and with that attitude he attracts some real trash. Some unexpected health issues forced him to return to the states or I and my wife believe that he would have been just another expat taken to the cleaners story in the Phil. Whose fault was it, his.
Any relationship can fail and being prepared for it is simple maturity. Putting your own well being and safety first is a good thing. A weak man will attract a weak woman and generally one who is easily manipulated by family or friends or will manipulate you.
At this point in my life, I do trust my wife, she has earned it and I have earned hers. Our relationship is a loving relationship between two people who are also best friends.
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draks
1/27/2017 00:49 EST
Good post teejay
I went through much the same things as you. I actually have up looking, I was ok on my own, lived on a boat good circle of friends, but then I met my wife, totally different to anyone else, and like you it grew from there.
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Spruik
4/1/2017 17:58 EST
This is about a Pinay living with her sister and two nieces (attending school). Same lady who bought that ticket to Singapore but was refused passage.
Money for the ticket was donated by her auntie and spending money was borrowed (so I was told).
Neither ladies are working, but are supported by their father in the province who is a truck driver (so I was told).
My HK friend suggests his salary wouldn't be enough for that, in addition to his own family.
My Pinay friend keeps herself occupied as volunteer to raise funds for school projects (I was impressed).
Not having asked for money, there were plenty of hints of no food in the house.
At best, it would seem that her priorities are in the wrong order (travel ticket), but that's nothing unusual for Pinays.
At worst...
Hint hint hint... some things I promised to buy for her when I visit her, she asked me if she could have them before I come. Small stuff, but you know...
Sure, I said. I never use WU but if you have a bank account it's easy for me.
She acted shy and said that nobody ever sent her money, except her mother (living with her father in the province).
She provided me promptly with her full banking details including the bank's SWIFT code.
Now that made me think... for someone never to have received money being familiar with international funds transfer using the bank... lol.
Her mother does not need the SWIFT code.
Comments welcome (about the knowledge of SWIFT codes).
PS: Yes I know, never send money to anyone you did not meet. This is about getting to know the girl.
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LRod50
4/1/2017 18:21 EST
If you can't afford to send any money, don't send it. Anytime you send money consider it a gift.
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seernai
4/1/2017 18:36 EST
I must protest at the Headline as you cannot condemn a whole nation for a misfortune, I live among many Honest Filipinos who have helped many expats , like all countries the Philippines has its share of good and bad also I trust my partner with my life
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Spruik
4/1/2017 19:08 EST
>>>
I must protest at the Headline as you cannot condemn a whole nation for a misfortune,
<<<
I did not create this thread but thought it appropriate to post my request for comments here.
I have also known honest Pinays.
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seernai
4/1/2017 19:12 EST
Even so if their is no trust at the beginning of a relationship what is the point
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Spruik
4/1/2017 19:53 EST
>>>
Even so if their is no trust at the beginning of a relationship what is the point
<<<
So you would buy a house in your brand-new GF's name right from the outset?
Great.
Clearly you have never had your life F'd up. Not once, but twice???
I think you have a different definition on trust.
But my post today has to do with familiarity of SWIFT codes, not trust.
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seernai
4/1/2017 20:17 EST
Spruik you know nothing about my life so how can you tell me " obviously I've not had my life fu***d up twice?" How about 4 times ? And not all by Filipinos so please don't tell me what I have not gone through you know f all what I've Been through , your not the only one who has been shafted by a woman but I don't go blaming a whole nation
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Spruik
4/1/2017 21:29 EST
Where did I blame the whole nation???
And as I have said before, I value each person on her merits, not on her nationality.
Looks like you stepped out of bed with the wrong leg today... LOL
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Spruik
4/1/2017 21:34 EST
I asked for comments about SWIFT codes, but instead we argue.
If you don't want to, or cannot, provide a relevant comment than better not reply.
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seernai
4/1/2017 21:51 EST
Well you chose to tell me that I don't know what it's like to go through it twice not my fault
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seernai
4/1/2017 22:30 EST
The Heading " Never Trust a Filipina " is offensive and even racist people need to think especially if they live here there was no mention about swift codes
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Spruik
4/2/2017 05:46 EST
In my first message today (in this thread) the word SWIFT appears 3 times.
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ACEPoolPlayer
4/2/2017 09:18 EST
Seernai,
The post was started by Standupguy, not by Spruik. For any newbie or an expat visiting or thinking about moving to the Philippines, keep in mind it is a 3rd world country where 90% of the working population earn $50-$200 a month. Now with that being said, just like most poorer countries in the world don't trust anyone until they have earned your trust. To the average Filipino foreigners have so much more money......so what's the difference if they lose a little of it somehow...they can always "hear mass" on Sunday and be forgiven. Yes, There are honest great Filipinos who would never cheat anyone but you have to find them and they must earn your trust before you trust anyone.
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seernai
4/2/2017 18:45 EST
Whoever started the thread the headline is still wrong you don't see headlines saying don't Trust anyone from Thailand or Nepal or any other so Called third world country it's offensive full stop, you could apply that headline to every country in the world not just the Philippines
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Spruik
4/2/2017 20:20 EST
All you have to do is scroll up to see who started this thread.
If you don't like the title, you should have complained when the thread started.
Now stop complaining.
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Spruik
4/2/2017 20:26 EST
Seernay,
A quick count reveals that you posted at least 6 replies to this thread, starting January.
You might have complained then.
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seernai
4/2/2017 21:26 EST
Shall we just say I'm getting a little p****d off with the attitude here with some people who because they have had a bad experience with a Filipino seem fit to put up that headline which by the way nobody has yet to say anything about I don't give a damn how many times I have posted about this it still has not been addressed, saying you cannot trust any Filipino is wrong you know it I know it deal with it don't just go round the issue how would you like it if someone said never trust an American or Brit or where People come from , it's offensive Period !!)
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Sisibatac
4/2/2017 21:32 EST
Seernai, you are comparing apples and oranges. You can't compare Filipina(o)s to Americans and Brits. That's like trying to compare snakes to lions. This culture is inferior to Western cultures for a reason.
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seernai
4/2/2017 22:26 EST
Sisibatac I know what your saying and I can tell you there are a lot of Brits I would never trust the point I'm making is it does not matter where you come from it does not make it right that just because it's a third world country it's right to say you cannot trust any Filipino that's going to far , sure you have to be careful I know one American woman who would stab you in the back as good as look at you to save her own skin but I would not say you cannot trust all Americans there are good and bad in all nations so why single out the Philippines?
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ACEPoolPlayer
4/3/2017 09:52 EST
Seernai,
This is the Philippines forum. That is probably why you do not see many comments regarding other countries. This forum is primarily for expats living or with intentions to possibly live in the Philippines someday. Maybe the original topic was worded improperly. Maybe it should have been "be cautious in trusting a Filipino/Filipina." Regardless the point is for all those reading this forum is to be careful, watch your back, even though many people in the Philippines are kind and honest there are also so many just waiting to rip you off because you are a foreigner (perceived to have a lot of money compared to the average person in the Philippines). There are so many of us that have been ripped off in one way or another so don't be naïve to trust someone so easily. This goes for women fooling foreigners and Filipino men trying to rip off foreigners whether it be for construction material (they purchase for you with fake receipts), taxi drivers or relatives of the girl or guy that you have befriended. Don't be fooled like many of us have been and don't let your guard down so easily.
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ACEPoolPlayer
4/3/2017 09:56 EST
I now apologize for making bad comments under my breath when I see repeats post by the same person multiple times.. I know I only hit post reply once and it appeared twice.
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Yeochief
4/3/2017 12:52 EST
New Flash. None of us can change anything we have done in the past, NONE of us are perfect. I thought this site was to help folks, not to bad mouth each other. I do trust my wife from Obando. Believe it or not you do trust folks from the Philippines. Do you eat out, do you fly out of the Philippines? Do you buy goods from the stores? Do you ride a train/bus or other transportation? You might want to give a second thought about making such a strong statement.
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seernai
4/3/2017 21:08 EST
Sorry but I just got angry with such an offensive headline regardless of what the topic was what that headline had to do with bank swift numbers I don't know if the headline has just said bank swift numbers no problem
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seernai
4/3/2017 21:13 EST
I never let my Guard down to anyone neither do I trust everyone I meet until I get to know them well, on the other hand I don't distrust people to the point of having a phobia like oh don't trust that person just because they are a Filipino that goes for anyone you meet here
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Spruik
4/3/2017 21:20 EST
Seernai,
But you did not get angry in January, when the thread was created?
Does every detail need to be included in the headline?
Do you expect a new thread to be created for every issue/question?
Ok, maybe I should create a new thread about KNOWLEDGE OF SWIFT NUMBERS.
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Spruik
4/3/2017 21:33 EST
>>>
Shall we just say I'm getting a little p****d off with the attitude here with some people who because they have had a bad experience with a Filipino
<<<
"a bad experience..." lol.
How about many? There is not one man I know who did not have bad experiences.
My brother-in-law flying from
Netherlands to Australia, talked to his fellow passenger and mentioned I was married to a Pinay before, He was asked "did she clean him out too?"
A local farmer sponsored a Pinay wife 2 years ago. The guys concreting my shed were commenting as to how long she would stay... she is no longer with him.
Other guys here make fun of Pinays.
The girl, the subject of the SWIFT code, also turned out to just want money.
Pinays' reputation is shot, worldwide.
FYI: Still, I judge a Pinay on her merits, not on her nationality.
The fact that your life was F'd up 4 times, suggests that your current good relationship is more luck than wisdom in chosing a partner.
Now, get over it and accept that not everyone is so fortunate as you.
PS
Youn can always not read this thread :)
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Spruik
4/3/2017 21:37 EST
>>>
I never let my Guard down to anyone neither do I trust everyone I meet until I get to know them well, on the other hand I don't distrust people to the point of having a phobia like oh don't trust that person just because they are a Filipino that goes for anyone you meet here
<<<
Distrust is not the same as not placed trust in a person.
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ACEPoolPlayer
4/5/2017 08:03 EST
Yeochief,
"I thought this site was to help folks" It definitely is to help people. I mean no offence but as you have stated yourself "I have never lived in the Philippines". It's difficult to take advice from anyone who has not lived in the Philippines for at least a few years and have seen or travelled in different parts of the country. If they haven't they have not experienced enough to give good sound advice. Talk to or listen to anyone who has lived somewhere for a few years and you will get advice from a lot of experience. I also trust my wife and there are several Filipinos that I would trust with my life. Ask any Filipino who has lived abroad and moved back to the Philippines who they would trust more a foreigner or another Filipino? All that being said, after living in the Philippines for a long time and now back in the U.S. I'm looking forward to retiring in the Philippines in a few years. The good for me definitely out weighs the bad.
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matt12
4/5/2017 12:00 EST
Wow. I have a friend that I've known in the Philippines for about six years. I've visited her twice and she seems on the up and up, but every time I read these expat forums about how all Filipinas lie, it makes we wonder if I'm being lied too also.
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matt12
4/5/2017 12:06 EST
Wow. I have a friend in the Philippines that I've visited twice over the past six years. She seems on the up and up but every time I read these forums that say never trust a Filipina, I have to wonder if I'm being lied to.
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surfingcebu
4/5/2017 12:46 EST
Matt, for your own good have someone check up on her , i.e. background, movements and so forth . and , show up unannounced too ! If she is the real deal no issues. if she is not saves you thousands of dollars and sorrow . just some advise . I have a great one ...however not the case all over . 75% are great. 25% can cause you real problems !
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GaryD
4/6/2017 03:10 EST
"Wow. I have a friend in the Philippines that I've visited twice over the past six years. She seems on the up and up but every time I read these forums that say never trust a Filipina, I have to wonder if I'm being lied to."
If you have only visited twice in six year I can't imagine she is taking you too seriously. Filipinas will often be speaking to several foreigners and will take the first one that walks the walk.
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stocksniffer
4/6/2017 06:46 EST
Hire a PI online to get the dirt on her! Cheaper than finding out later that you made a huge error in judgment!
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stocksniffer
4/6/2017 06:56 EST
Viet, Lao and Indonesian girls are much more family oriented but with Indonesian there is the radical cult problem. 80% of the Vietnamese no longer practice a religion which is the only one like it in Asia. In Laos is a crime for a foreigner to have sex with a national until after marriage. The Filipinos online are mostly money whores!
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Yeochief
4/6/2017 07:08 EST
Ace,
The only advice that I gave is that no one can change there past and none of us are not perfect. That is life no matter where you live. Did not give any advice about the Philippines, just asked some questions. I also plan on moving to the Philippines within the next few years. I try and live my life according to what James says in the Bible, "Count it all Joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds." Your going to meet trials no matter where you live.
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ACEPoolPlayer
4/6/2017 07:57 EST
Many of us have found great relationships. Many have also been conned and scammed. My only point is be aware. It's better to learn from someone else's mistakes than from you own which might cost you tons of heartaches and cash. Most of us on this forum are over 50 looking to relax and find peaceful happiness in the later years of our lives. Don't be foolish. If it sounds too good to be true.... it probably is.
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GaryD
4/6/2017 10:50 EST
Due to the deep poverty in the Philippines most Filipinos are opportunists. All foriegners are fair game. Even if you have a good one she was still looking for a leg up in life in the first place.
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matt12
4/6/2017 11:57 EST
Kinda embarrassed to say but I did the PI thing and all checked out.
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standupguy
4/6/2017 14:48 EST
to all - you may carry on with this topic if you wish. I just want everyone to know that there has been an incredible reversal of fortune in my marriage, and it has proven to be a true and loving marriage after all. Sometimes people can say or do the opposite of what they really want as a form of (jaded) defense. My marriage crisis resolved itself very soon after I returned to Canada. My wife and I have attained a new level of understanding and communication together. We believe, like we did in the beginning that all is good and will be so forever. I am don't normally suspend disbelief by the pretending & acting of another. Gees - this time was an exception. Fortunately my early return to my house in Canada saved what was left of my belongings as drug addicts and squatters had broken in and stolen much and wrecked rooms. I had time to fix it up before my wife arrived this month. It's been a good learning experience, but I wouldn't want to repeat it.
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