" Well, we have been here for a month and things are going pretty well (considering). We have just recently moved into our own flat (an experience and a half!). We are living in a relatively new neighborhood, and our building in particular is new. The neighborhood is pleasant and everyone seems to be interested in welcoming us here. That is the good news. The bad news is that we are experiencing ''playground politics'' . . . already. But it is more than a simple matter of choosing one''s friends. It is a matter of prejudice. I have never been one to consider other people''s opinions regarding who I chose as a friend. I have lived with the philosophy that one can not make blanket statements about any group (race, religion, sex, etc.) and have it be true for all. So, I decide on an individual basis. Seems pretty logical to me, and it has worked for me. But then, I have always lived in areas that accepted this philosophy (for the most part). And this philosophy did not put me or my children in any danger (real or otherwise). Here however, I have encountered a different situation. It is in some ways similar to the ''old South'' situation of the 60''s, when race determined education, recreation and other benefits of life, but also, with whom one socialized. And if someone crossed these boundaries (from either direction), it presented a problem for both sides of those boundaries. So, basically, the situation is this. There is a ''group'' of people here who are perceived as being ''not good people''. These people are avoided on the streets, are not permitted in certain businesses and other such discrimination. People from this ''group'' are typically street vendors and participate in agriculture (such an important function in society, yet here it is looked down upon), and are considered foreigners by ''real Russians"". They are also ''classified'' as being members of gangs, drug users, not educated, and bandits. While these generalizations may be true for some members of this group, it certainly is not true for all members. :-( Regardless, the ''establishment'' treats members of this group as second class citizens. Furthermore, they have physical characteristics which allows them to be easily identified and singled out. Sound familiar? My problem is this. We have met a very nice family, who happen to be a ''member of this group''. The daughters of this family have befriended my 13 year old daughter (their daughters being close in age). They are pleasant, polite and educated. I like them. My daughter likes them. But we have been warned, by other ''well-meaning friends'', that this family is ''bad''. When I ask why, the reply is that they are a member of this particular race. No other reason. I have been told that by allowing my daughter to be friends with them, her safety is in jeopardy. When I ask my long time Russian friends (people I know and trust completely) about this situation (none of whom happen to be members of this race), they agree with this assessment that this family should be avoided. I am deeply distressed about it. I am looking for some suggestions here. Perhaps some of you have dealt with prejudice in other cultures (when being a guest in another culture). How have you dealt with it? Ideally, I would like to make some sort of announcement to the neighborhood, that we are here as ''ambassadors''. And as ambassadors, we understand that there are racial or other boundaries, but we respect all people as individuals. When I said this to my Russian friends (good friends), they laughed and said ""sure, that would work in the US, but not here"". I also consider the thought that what I decide may in fact put our safety at risk . . . and what does that say (in either direction) to my daughter and to others about us. That we dont stand up for our beliefs? :-( In the US, there would be no question about what to do. But I know and understand all the risks in that environment. Here, I do not. Suggestions please. Staying inside until I can come up with some ideas . . . Linda "

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" Linda, I spend about 4 months a year in Russia and I''ve thought about your post many times since I first read it back in June. I would very much like to know what happened and how things are going for you. (I wrote a long reply to your message, but it got wiped out before I could post it.) Please post here or email me. I''m happy to retype my comments if you''re still interested. "

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