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Ukraine: Odessa Vignettes 13:
With time and experience, we learn that there is a right way and a wrong way to do things.
The Right way brings rewards, eliminates stress and overall, produces a happier outcome. The Wrong way invites frustration, expense and a generally leaves a bad taste in our mouths from the experience.
This model can be illustrated perfectly in the search by Western men for wives in Ukraine. There is a right way and a wrong way to do it. The wrong way is to believe what the online marriage agencies tell you about the perfect way to find a wife using their services. You are asked to create a profile on their website, and pay a large sum of money for a membership or the right to correspond with their female clients using their very expensive messaging service. No exchange of personal contact information is allowed. You are also encouraged to 'be a man' and buy a lady expensive gifts and bouquets of flowers ( all which cost many times more than if you bought them yourself on the street). After spending a few thousand dollars (Euros), you finally meet 'the one', or you just decide to travel to Ukraine to meet these beautiful women.
In my example I will use Odessa as the meeting venue because that is where I live and have first-hand experience. Upon arrival, you contact your date and arrange a first meeting. She, of course, claims that she doesn't speak English and must have an interpreter present (the truth is that most women here under the age of 30 know enough English to have a conversation). But, not just any interpreter will do...she must have a marriage agency interpreter which charges $20 per hour. Even if she is fluent in English, she will play dumb and insist on having an interpreter, because she makes a percentage of what you pay after the date. Upon arrival with her interpreter in tow, she will 'suggest' that you take her to a specific restaurant (her 'favorite'). Being a gentleman, of course you agree. She takes you to a restaurant where they have a 'special' menu for foreigners with prices 2-3 times higher than what the locals pay. After she and her interpreter order every expensive thing on the menu and you have a pleasant conversation, you pay the bill and the girls will excuse themselves to go to the 'powder room'. There, they will receive a 20% kickback from the restaurant manager. Now the time is late and your beauty must go home. Of course, she will ask you to give her some money for a taxi. Even if she lives a 5 minute walk away, she and her interpreter must have a taxi. In Odessa, you can go anywhere in the city by taxi for less than $4. But, she will ask you for anywhere from $10 to $50 for cab fare. So, after this wonderful evening, you are anywhere from $100 to $500 poorer and enchanted, besotted, and enamored with this beautiful lady and willing to do it all again. Thus, the corrupt marriage agencies know their profits are assured.
I am ashamed to admit, my friends, that this is the model I followed until I figured out the big scam. But now I will tell you about the 'right' way to meet a woman in Odessa. And again, I will use my own experience.
Last Thursday I bought a 1 month 'Gold' membership on UkraineDate.com. This website is run by some relatively 'straight up' guys in Great Britain. For $25 I gained full access to all the ladies on the site. This site is not involved with any kind of marriage agency and the women here are much more likely to be sincere (no opportunity to make a profit). From reading their profiles, you can also see the REAL age gap that these women are willing to accept. I entered my search criteria and sent messages (for free) to a couple of likely prospects. One responded and agreed to meet me on Monday night (after the initial contact, you are free to exchange phone numbers or contact each other on Skype, Viber, Facebook, VK, or any other FREE communication medium). Her English was a little 'iffy', so I told her that I would bring one of my friends to be an interpreter. 'No problem', she said.
At the appointed time, I met her with my interpreter. I did not bring her any flowers, because I have learned that most women do not like flowers on a first date (too ostentatious), and you would be surprised at how many women really don't like cut flowers. I did bring her a small box of assorted chocolates. I suggested that we go to a nearby cafe to talk. “Not so fast, Bucko”, she said. (She didn't really say those words, but, you get the idea). She said she wanted to make sure that I was serious about a relationship, because she didn't want to waste her time on a guy that just wanted to play games. I smiled inside and said to myself, “This kind of honesty is refreshing!” After standing on the street for 30 minutes and answering her polite, but serious questions, she decided that I was sincere enough and said, “Let's go to a cafe.” We sat in the cafe for another 1 ½ hours and had a really nice conversation. She and the interpreter ordered only coffee, and I had a fruit smoothie. After the meeting we parted with smiles and hugs and agreed to meet again soon.
The total cost for this date was $8 ($4 for the chocolates, and $4 for the coffee, etc). When I tried to give money to my friend for her work as an interpreter, she refused because she said she was my friend and would not take any money for helping me.
Now, my friends, I don't suggest that in order to meet an honest woman, you have to live in Odessa for two years, learn enough Russian to survive, and develop a broad social network of local people like I have done. I am just pointing out that you should do your research and use your big brain instead of your little one to make yourselves aware of the options available to you, and the challenges you will face. There are women here that are outstandingly beautiful, both inside and outside, but it will not be easy to find them.
I wish you all success and 'Good Hunting!'
Ukraine: My Woman In Nikolaev:
I was going to write off this monumental ode to a woman never met to pre-adolescent puppy love fueled by raging hormones, but I guess there are some here that expect me to rain on his parade. I am afraid I will have to disappoint you.
I wish you the best of luck, drdjmphd007, but I am really waiting impatiently for the more measured description of your feelings after the cold, hard hand of Reality slaps you up side the head when you meet her. I hope the contents of your bursting bubble won't be too messy, that the readjustments in your thinking won't be too drastic and that all the inevitable problems will have manageable solutions. I hope your Fairy Tale romance has a happy ending.
I also found a lady on UkraineDate two days ago and I met her for the first time tonight in Odessa. We met in person; face to face. I was able to see the reflection of the candlelight in her eyes, hear the melody of her voice, see the sparkle of her smile and marvel at her enlightened wit and folksy wisdom. I could smell the aroma of her hair and feel the warmth of her body when she hugged me as we parted. I know exactly what and who she is, completely free of any imagined fantasy that my lonely heart might have created. I hope to see her again soon and lay the foundation of an adult relationship brick by brick, based on personal knowledge and mutually shared experiences. Sometime in the future I may begin my own 'Great Cross-Cultural Romantic novel', based on a true story. I will let you know...Wish me luck, guys!
Ukraine: Ukraine Language:
You would think that with all the problems Ukraine has that the 'powers that be' could find something more productive to do with their time. I assume that they have also budgeted and acquired the money to hire a 'Language Police Force' to keep 1.5 million Odessans from speaking Russian.
Ukraine: Just Saying !!!:
First of all, I don't condone hitting a woman for any reason. Secondly, there is always two sides to every story..."He said," "she said", and the truth is somewhere in the middle. For every woman that gives you a sob story like you told us about (I have heard many of them), there is a visa whore that maneuvered a guy into getting her a ticket to America. As soon as she got a job and a green card, she filed a 'domestic violence' claim against him and took everything he had in the divorce.
I just got an email from a woman this morning looking for a husband (and the accompanying love and romance). When I told her I lived in Ukraine, she said she wasn't interested because she wanted a ticket out of Ukraine. She let that slip because I looked her up on VK and she was talking to me without her 'marriage agency handler'.
The point is this: There are sad stories on both sides. Not everyone deserves the bad breaks (men or women), and don't believe everything you hear.
Ukraine: Euronews-Ukraine Visa free travel:
RE: Visa free travel to the EU. I can see it now...a large banner stretching across the face of the Kiev Train Station. It says, "Will the last person leaving Ukraine please turn out the lights!"
Ukraine: Everyone in Odessa know it!:
Everyone in Odessa knows it. Why haven't the foreign men who come here looking for love and romance figured it out yet? The following article give a pretty good picture of what goes on in Odessa. Pay close attention to the line: "Saakashvili has likened Odessa, known for its exquisite theaters and museums but also for its organized crime, to Chicago at the time of Al Capone."
The single biggest source of hard foreign currency for the Mafia here is the money foreign men donate to the marriage agencies where they can find an honest woman.
Kudos to those of you who found a good Ukrainian woman years ago. It ain't likely to happen any more!
https://www.yahoo.com/news/saakashvili-steps-down-head-corruption-111637815.h
Ukraine: Odessa Vignettes 11:
Odessa Vignettes 11
I have been 'in country' for about a month now, and I thought I would tell you all what has changed since I went on vacation back to the states for the summer.
My food bill has increased by about 25%. The cost of breakfast at McDonalds has increased 15%. I can't say too much from comparing just one month against last year, but prices have definitely increased.
Rents are about the same. I paid 170 UAH/meter last year for a mediocre apartment right in the city center. This year I have a really nice apartment that is about a 10 minute walk from the City Center and it costs 166 UAH/meter.
Restaurant prices have not increased much, but I noticed that the portions are smaller for the same price.
I live farther away from the City Center, but I only have to walk a block to catch a bus going anywhere in this city of 1.5 million people. My extensive travels in the city this month cost me a total of $6.50 in bus fares, and a lot of that was paying for two people.
What do I do to stay busy? I teach English privately to some of my friends here. I work as an English proof-reader for an IT company in Odessa. I joined a Toastmaster's Club and a Ballroom Dance Club. I will attend gala costume balls on October 1 and October 7 (with a beautiful date who is a fitness instructor). The dress code is white tie and tails. I have an interview Saturday with the Director of the Odessa National Scientific Library to be a volunteer for their 'Window on America' division. I study Russian 3 days a week with a tutor and I will be traveling to the Carpathian Mountains for a week on October 11 with a friend.
I made it a point to immerse myself in the culture here, and all of my friends are locals. They show me some very interesting things and give me interesting experiences that tourists can never even dream about. I get to do things here that I would never get to do in America.
But, unlike so many of you, I have no beef with America. Sure, the choices we have before us for a President have become the substance of a tragic comedy, and the societal fabric has been unraveling for years, but I still have a great love of the country. Perhaps it is because I live in the US in a place that is clean, progressive, crime-free and where I am surrounded by good people with good families that are honest, helpful and hard-working. If I could afford to live there year-round, I would do it. But now I get to experience the best of two worlds and I will continue to have more fun than I deserve for as long as I can.
Ukraine: Dating agencies/websites work. Or not?:
I am back in Odessa now, and I will add my 2 kopeks worth to this debate. You have to understand that scamming foreign men is a huge industry in Ukraine. The Russian mafia created a myth that Russian/Ukrainian women were something unique and special and there were thousands of lonely old men that believed it. The mafia controls most of the marriage agencies and there are countless thousands of women that will pretend to like you for some extra cash. There are also innocent and naive girls that join the agencies and are coerced by the management to do things they would not normally do. It is very difficult to break away from these agencies once they get their hooks into a girl.
It wasn't until I lived here for a while and got away from the marriage agency crowd that I started to meet a different kind of woman. Now the women I hang around with won't even let my buy them a cup of coffee. They are that honest.
My advice to those seeking a wife would be to come here, live here and make some friends. Then, ask your friends to introduce you to some of their lady friends that might be willing to meet you. That is the only way you will find an honest woman here.
Ukraine: Odessa Hospitals:
There is a 'Cardiac Institute' in Odessa. I don't know about the quality. You might find more relevant information by talking to Kevin Nagle (kevin@infodessa.com). He spent two weeks in an Odessa hospital with surgery for appendicitis last November. He can give you a 'blow-by-blow' account of his experience. He also knows many people in the medical community there.
Ukraine: Summer BBQ:
Thanks for the invitation. It sounds like fun! Unfortunately, I scheduled my return to Odessa about a week too late. :((
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