Comments about this Article

When in Rome, do as Romans do.

Richard, Thank you, I couldn't have said it better. Sure it looks good when we are busy grousing about whatever we don't like at home...so we go someplace else and it becomes hell. I spent a short time in Spain and found too many people smoke, are arrogant and pushy, and really prejudiced against South American Spanish speakers (as my traveling partner's experience showed). I spent enough time in Thailand to see that the air quality is awful and everyone smiles when you are giving them money and so on. Bottom line, at home it may be a mess but it's YOUR mess and familiar so at least you know what to do. Think twice and do the 3 week, 3 month, year stay before deciding that you really like a country, it's people and their "ways."

They went to Spain. They can go back to England. As simple as that. It also could be that not enough care has been taken in finding out the precise property rights attached to that particular piece of reasl estate. In general, private property also exists in Spain and is respected there and Spain is not a medievel country any more with subsistance farmers and poor peasants struggling for survival. One mistake to be avoided when going abroad is that all will be the same as at home. People are going abroad precicely because they want a change but then somehow asume that all will still remain the same. Paradox but often to be seen.

I'd have to say this is the first I've read about this phenomenon. I would have fallen into the honeymoon stage...hoping it lasted forever...that the newness would never diminish. It is this 'ultimate balance' that makes a marriage work...sometimes still it is not quite balanced. At every stage a new common ground is achieved...or our comfort levels have adjusted to our new surroundings. Every stage a mile marker so to speak. As some point as in a marriage there are differences that can not be overcome and the decision is made to separate. You want a fulfilled life and the excitement but your surroundings become too difficult to adjust to. Adjustment is not possible any more. So exiting the scene helps 'some'. For others they keep adjusting to the new culture at every stage. Soon they have changed to such an extent it is impossible to think of ever going back. To make the observations of the different stages is very interesting. The deep-rooted cultural aspects of the newly adopted society in which one choses to live is very deep and thought provoking. One will have to be very prepared for the move and for the ensuing cultural shock...as one needs to be choosing a life's partner! Thank you for this article.

All you read was that Jonathan and Maya's Spanish neighbors gave them just about everything to make them feel welcome, but there was no mention of reciprocity. Maybe that was one problem. After the big welcome, life goes on, and if you are not emotionally or mentally equipped to live your own life you will never feel at home, no matter where you go. Another point. I must presume that Jonathan and Maya are a White couple. White people are accustomed to having things their way, being favored, courted, and catered to in one way or another. Few of them have had the experience of being a real, and possibly unfavored outsider as people of darker races have traditionally been. I have seen over and over how Whites arrive in a foreign country and think all is so wonderful, until they've been there for a little while and suddenly realize that they are not the dominant ones. They often lapse into "tribal" behaviour and get depressed. From this point they can either adjust, or stay in a funk indefinitely.