Epinal, France
An expat in Epinal, France gets candid about the culture shock she experience when moving to France. She advises newcomers to get out and meet people. She started an English-speaking group in her small town and met lots of locals that way.
Epinal
No
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Yes, but I learned the language while in the process of moving, so it was full of on-the-fly challenges!
No, I didn't expect there to be any major differences, and from what I'd experienced as a tourist, everything about French culture seemed to please me.
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On a scale of 0-10, with 0 being no shock and 10 being extreme shock, I experienced somewhere around a 4.
I did feel like I experienced the stages of culture shock, although at the time I wasn't able to pinpoint culture shock as the source of my feelings. I spent several months rather frustrated with my language learning efforts (which were intensified by living with many young French people who spoke rapidly among themselves).
Culture shock actually caused several surprising behavior changes in me, including making me feel somewhat dependent on my significant other craving more time with him, because he was one of the only people with whom I could hold a conversation (this was a foreign experience because I'm normally very independent). I was also slightly depressed and anxious about interacting with our flatmates in the evening, because I felt often that I was left out of the circle. I also let my diet get out of hand, and while I never felt homesick because I truly preferred living in France, I did miss the ability to be easily understood by my friends and family, and therefore felt a bit lonely and isolated. I felt like I couldn't let my true personality and humor show because of my limited language abilities, and because the conversation was usually too fast for my to get a word in edgewise.
In France, there really is time to stop and smell the roses, and when one does things here, one does them fully, instead of splitting attention in 5 directions at once. Mealtime is meant for good food and fellowship. Weekends are meant for enjoyment (not bringing work home). In general, the culture is more slow and appreciative of simple pleasures.
The humor is darker (people don't find it rude to joke at the expense of others) and people are much more direct, which can come across as brashness or rudeness. Also, mealtimes are very rigid, so my stomach had a hard time adjusting to the hunger between meals.
Several times, the different layout of the calendar (starting on Monday instead of Sunday) made me miss important appointments. I had an appointment at the consulate on a Tuesday, and when I glanced at the calendar to buy my ticket, I saw that it was on the second day of the week so my mind automatically thought "Monday." After 2 hours on the train to get there, the staff informed me that my appointment was the next day, but were kind enough to accommodate my mistake and get my paperwork signed that day. It happened once more after that before I realized why I kept confusing my Mondays and Tuesdays, and now I always double-check the date & day of the week instead of relying on the column under which the date appears on a calendar. Also, when meeting with the mayor's assistant for our pre-marriage interview (so he could customize our ceremony) I accidentally used the familiar version of "you" ("tu") instead of the formal version ("vous"), which resulted in a puzzled look from him and an embarrassed yet slightly amused look from my husband. Fortunately, afterward my husband assured me that my accent made it kind of cute, and that most French people understand when it's a foreigner. The rules on when to use which version are still not crystal clear for me (and I have no idea when one can switch from "tu" to "vous"), and from then on I've always been very careful about how I address people I've just met. Sometimes I even craft my sentences specifically to avoid needing to say "you."
As much as culture shock can make one want to hibernate and escape to cope, it's much more useful to put oneself in the thick of things, and letting your needs and struggles be known. I found relief from the loneliness and frustration by seeking out ways to apply my skills and connect with people, for example by starting an English-speaking group in the small town where I lived. I found lots of locals were interested in practicing their English, and there were even a few North Americans that came across the group on Facebook and thanks to my posts on expat forums.
I also found it really useful to join expat communities on Facebook to ask questions and gain a sense of support, even from afar, although I caution against relying too much on social media and digital connections. We, as humans, need real connection. The internet is a great tool for reaching people and maintaining connection, but there's no replacement for actually getting a coffee or hitting the cinema with people. That's what truly helps us feel like a part of the new culture we're in.
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An expat talks about life in Epinal, France, a historic city in northeastern France on the Moselle River. Epinal isn't an expat enclave, but has a lot to offer - low cost of living and lots of clubs and cultural activities. Have a pint at Epinal's Irish Pub and you'll get a feel for the local scene.
An expat interview with "Paris Through Expatriate Eyes" founder Terrance Gelenter
Moving to Paris? Josie Sampson offers tips for finding a job in Paris, obtaining a visa, searching for an apartment in Paris and more.
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