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Gay in Medellin?

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FromArizonaUSA
  1/8/2019 22:46 EST

Would a single, gay man do okay in Medellin or Manizales? I’m interested in the wonderful people, the food, the weather and the low cost of living.... but a bit nervous about the possibility of not feeling safe and accepted in Colombia? Can I feel safe to date a Colombia guy?

Truthfully ... I already checked out Ecuador and was politely shown the exits by whacko, Trump-loving American Expats who seem to have left the US to get away from the LGBT Community. I’m American, too — so, don’t think I’m bashing Americans.

Any thoughts on a new, gay dude in Medellin?

HomeExchanger
  1/9/2019 06:25 EST

TheEarthAwaits has an advanced filter that lets you screen countries and cities by attitudes towards gay people. (like number it also lets you compare cost of living by monthly budget in each city.) Colombia has had equal marriage for same-sex couples since 2016.

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Electricista
  1/9/2019 07:58 EST

Colombia is not for you. Consider Puerto Rico.

HomeExchanger
  1/9/2019 08:05 EST

In South America civil unions are performed in Chile and Ecuador. Same-sex marriage is legal in Argentina, Brazil, Colombia, Uruguay, the jurisdictions of French Guiana, the Falkland Islands, South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands,
On 8 January 2018, the Inter-American Court of Human Rights (IACHR) ruled that the American Convention on Human Rights mandates and requires the legalisation of same-sex marriage. The landmark ruling was fully binding on Costa Rica and set binding precedent in the other signatory countries. The Court recommended that governments issue temporary decrees legalising same-sex marriage until new legislation is brought in. The ruling applies to the countries of Barbados, Bolivia, Chile, Costa Rica, the Dominican Republic, Ecuador, El Salvador, Guatemala, Haiti, Honduras, Mexico, Nicaragua, Panama, Paraguay, Peru and Suriname. The Costa Rican Government subsequently announced that it would implement the ruling "in its totality",[1] and the Government of Panama has also signalled that it would accept the ruling.[2][3]

littlebhuddha64
  1/9/2019 08:19 EST

Unfortunately, courts can’t mandate public opinion. The vast majority of Colombians still have strong views against homosexuality. This is a very catholic country and a very homophobic country. That being said, the larger cities are your best bet. There are significant gay communities in Bogota, Cartagena, Medellin and Cali. If you stay low key you should be ok in theses cities. Stay away from smaller towns and villages.

morganstern
  1/9/2019 08:28 EST

Bogota is VERY gay friendly. Around Parque 93 and in many other areas it is totally open and accepted.

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tammytravels
  1/9/2019 08:37 EST

I have to agree with littlebhuddha64. I live in Armenia and have some gay aquaintances who don't seem to have a problem, but they do say they pretty much stick to the gay bars. I go to the few better restaurants here and do not see discrimination or problems with gay couples being treated with respect. But, as in the states, you'll have a bigger community and more options in a bigger city. I'd vote for Medellin as the city seems to be overall friendlier than Bogota.

tammytravels
  1/9/2019 08:38 EST

I have to agree with littlebhuddha64. I live in Armenia and have some gay aquaintances who don't seem to have a problem, but they do say they pretty much stick to the gay bars. I go to the few better restaurants here and do not see discrimination or problems with gay couples being treated with respect. But, as in the states, you'll have a bigger community and more options in a bigger city. I'd vote for Medellin as the city seems to be overall friendlier than Bogota.

HomeExchanger
  1/9/2019 08:58 EST

Colombia is ranked exactly equal in gay-friendliness to USA but obviously this varies wildly by region. Bogota or New York City: I great. Alabama or rural Colombia not so much....
Countries from most to least gay-friendly on laws and public opinion factors....
Higher Number is Better.....
9)Sweden/UK...
8) Northern EU/Canada...
7) Uruguay & Western Europe:...
6) Brazil...
4) Argentina, USA...
3) Colombia, Puerto Rico...
2) Ecuador, Mexico...
1) Costa Rica...
0) Nicaragua...
-1) Chile...
-2) Panama...
-3) Cuba, Peru...
-4) Guatemala...
-7) Dominican Republic

SkyMan
  1/9/2019 10:21 EST

Electricista...I agree with your post entirely...concerning Colombia. I make this statement by what my Colombian friends say when we are
driving to a restaurant...or to the finca. My Colombian friends have no sympathy toward the gay community here in Colombia...nor any tolerance. As for me...I am a live-let-live type of person, so I have no problem concerning this topic. Buena Suerte ! Tranquilo.

mikedanbury
  1/9/2019 11:04 EST

FromArizonaUSA, I would say go to Medellin and see for yourself. Your experience will be your experience. Other people's experiences and perceptions depend on their point of view and the environment they live in. I believe Medellin is a large enough city to find any type of niche you belong to. Maybe Medellin won't be right for you but only you can decide that.

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ponymalta
  1/9/2019 11:34 EST

i would guess in the cities no issues about being Gay. Colombians are extremely lievral about sex but still deal with appearances- so i think just a question of finding the right crowd

saiid20
  1/9/2019 16:45 EST

Wow, you've got two posters Extremistas and sky pilot who have their hand on the pulse of the Colombian public and say dont come.....
Guess what I'm going to say...nah...Im sure you can figure it out....Bienvenedos

WhoaNellie
  1/9/2019 17:07 EST

In the bigger cities no one really cares. Just don't flaunt it in-your-face with people, wearing nothing but a purple Speedo, it ain't San Francisco.

mattinnorfolk
  1/9/2019 19:49 EST

I have dated Trans women in Medellin, and they have been fabulous, but we do need to stick to the LGBTQ clubs and fly under the radar. Medellin has a huge gay and Trans population, and it is open with the under 30 crowd, but it is not as open as USA, Canada or Europe. You will still have a fabulous time, but Manizales and I have been there many times would not be a viable option.

FromArizonaUSA
  1/9/2019 21:44 EST

Thank you very much for the info!

Elexpatriado
  1/10/2019 12:39 EST

Dont worry- all (or many) of the good looking chicas have gaymale friends they hang around with

Actually, you would be a good wingman for straight guys , once you get your social networlk going and have a bunch of good looking Colombianas you are hanging around with as their "amigo gay"..

But Colombia is not politically correct..dont be offended by the word "marica" ..which is equivelant to the "F" word for gay in English

They use it in all kinds of contects, like we use the word "F%ck"

Elexpatriado
  1/10/2019 12:43 EST

About Manizales-I had a girlfriend who had a gay friend -and she said it was quite common in Manizales

So I wouldnt worry. Think it is pretty common in most of Colombia

Elexpatriado
  1/10/2019 12:47 EST

Skyman- with all due respect I would reconsider some of your Colombian friendships

Yes Colombians can be intolerant about a lot of things.

And they say one thing to your face.and apear very open and friendly...but another behind your back, burlando people for whatever reason..

Some are very envidioso and odioso

Elexpatriado
  1/10/2019 12:55 EST

BTW- I lived in Manizales for 4 years- no just visiting

of course only one who could tell is a gay himself...and your "boyfriends" would have a better idea..as he would know..having grown up there. from the Chismoso and burlando the locals would be doing behind your back

Dont go as a hand holding couple to an Once Caldas game though, espescially in the "secion de las barras" where all the hooligans hang out

anlgza
  1/10/2019 13:24 EST

We are a gay couple in Medellin living in El Poblado and have not had any issues. Like others have said we don't flaunt it. We did go to the Gay Pride Parade last summer held downtown and felt very comfortable. We have gone out to dinner with a young gay friend in Boston (many Medellin neighborhoods are named for major cities in the western hemisphere) where he lives. No problems there either and we asked him directly. I imagine the younger Colombians may be a little more tolerant. We did renovations on our apartment and didn't experience any evidence of bias from the contractors and workers. Though the government has been liberal (it even provides treatment for HIV) and generally you should be fine, stick to "don't ask, don't tell....don't flaunt" for now.

SkyMan
  1/10/2019 16:21 EST

saiid…"Pulse of the Colombian public" not all. I post from my own personal experiences only...not my opinions. And this post was exactly that...what my Colombian friends have told me...concerning gays.
If you disagree...that's O.K. We each post in a different manner...some to create controversy, some to give answers to questions. Others post to see there musings online. We should all know one thing.....that is "To Agree to Respectfully Disagree". Buena Suerte !

FromArizonaUSA
  1/10/2019 22:38 EST

Thank you!

mghinton
  1/15/2019 08:02 EST

my wife works in an upscale hotel in panama and almost all the men that work there are gay .. i do not know any gay men in colombia but have found out there is a lot of difference between being gay and being a transvestite .. they do not mix well . there is an area in medellin that is like all trannies i mean you do not see any women there at all , but gay men i do not even know of a " gay bar " in medellin where there are quiet a few in Panama city ..

Womblingfree
  1/16/2019 10:47 EST

During my time in Medellin last September I found most people to be indifferent or accepting of gays. The exceptions were few and were typically the kind of insecure men who need constant reassurance of their machismo.

Having said that, I made an effort to make friends while I was there both straight and gay. I connected with a fashion designer who offers private tours around the high-end clothing stores and tailor shops. He belongs to a group known as New Queers on the Block, mostly drag queens or gender fluid individuals, who are dedicated to creating a more open and accepting society regarding sexual orientation.

The busiest shopping day of the year there was the Sunday before Christmas. NQOTB got into full day-drag and visited three of the largest retail shopping malls in Medellin bearing messages of love, acceptance, and good will. Many people engaged with them, especially younger people and children. There was some dancing and singing and comedy.

The group was halted by security at one mall and it turned out the guards only wanted to make sure they were not a commercial concern staging some kind of campaign for their business without a license. Once they realized what the group was doing, they asked to pose for Instagram pictures with them.

That said, one of the things I learned from my gay friends in Medellin is that the city has the highest number of hate-crime murders in Colombia targeting gays. In other words, you have to be vigilant and aware when you are out on the town and if you are flaming you will draw mixed attention.

I also spent time in Pereira, south of Medellin, the capital of the coffee country - El Eje Cafetero. My guide took me all around town to show what a happening up-and-coming small city it is. She introduced me to the owner of a gay club where drag queens perform every week. (In case you end up in Pereira, look for Evolution Café Bar on Carrera 7 which turns into a night club.)

Bucaramanga, which is a less touristic town in Santander northeast of Medellin, seemed less friendly. My guide turned out to be a young gay man who filled me in on the more traditional culture of that city. Of course, he said, if you are a younger person or attached to one of the many educational institutes or colleges, you will have no problem meeting other gay students. He said it's mostly just an issue of older, more conventional people not being open to change.

Regarding personal safety, I never felt threatened or discriminated against anywhere I went in central Colombia, even rural retreats like San Vicente Termales where I was the only Anglo in a busload of Colombian vacationers.

As an out gay man, it was important to me to have conversations with new friends and acquaintances to determine the levels of acceptance. One friend born and raised in Medellin told me, 'It literally depends on which neighborhood you're in sometimes. If you stick to Laureles, El Poblado, San Diego Reserva, el Envigado, you're not going to run into many problems." But the key is to make friends and go out with them, don't go solo if you really want to relax and enjoy yourself. Your friends will look out for you. If you go clubbing by yourself, you will have to practice heightened vigilance but that would be equally true for heteros.

Overall, I found Colombians to be incredibly forgiving and tolerant of each other and of foreigners. They actually look out for you if you behave in a friendly, respectful manner. As you know, what you put out there is often what you get back from others, so that's a reliable rule of thumb anywhere you go.

Buena suerte.

FromArizonaUSA
  1/18/2019 13:49 EST

Such a great reply. I sincerely appreciate it. I’d be into knowing how you traveled to coffee country and how you found your guides- I’d like to do exactly that! Can you PM me?

Womblingfree
  1/18/2019 16:27 EST

Private Message sent.

:-)

augieman
  1/19/2019 13:01 EST

Colombia cant possibly be any worse for gays than the U.S.

IZPZ
  2/21/2019 12:34 EST

Hi. I've just come to Medellin from the U.S. to see if I want to move here. My Spanish is at a middle level, but it would be great to meet some local English speaking gay men, either Colombian or expats. I'd love to hear from you or meet for coffee, etc. Feel free to pm me or [email protected]. I'm currently staying in a hotel in Poblado and looking for a longer term furnished rental. Any help connecting with local gays would be sooo appreciated. Cheers :-)

P.S. I'm also really open to connecting with any gay-friendly folks here.

seoulguy
  2/25/2019 20:34 EST

Tucson, here. I researched this too, on Google. Wikipedia has the chronological rundown dealing with this up to the present day and the present Constitution. PR? Now? I was young in the 70s in PR, had no problem with it in the small strip of land from OSJ to Isla Verde, but now, with all the economic problems, couldn't recommend it. Catholicism predominates.

As to low cost of living, I guess "low cost" means different things to different people, but after researching the so-called "low cost" destinations, it's a myth. If you have enough resources, plan on Palm Springs, CA. You'll be an accepting town, and I don't have to tell you the politics of CA.

BillyJavie
  8/4/2019 11:16 EST

My husband and I live in Medellin. You should be fine. Like any big city use caution, but you will fall in love with the city and its people.

Cruisechef
  8/5/2019 15:46 EST

Do what you want man. I probably wouldn't go overboard with public affection but I don't do that with my wife either.

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