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Putin Joke

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Vikingo
5/16/2022 13:37 EST

Putin dies and goes to hell, but after a while, he is given a day off for good behavior.
So he goes to Moscow, enters a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender:
-Is Crimea ours?
-Yes, it is.
-And the Donbas?
-Also ours.
-And Kyiv?
-We got that too.
Satisfied, Putin drinks, and asks:
-Thanks, how much do I owe you?

-5 euros.

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PFleetwood
5/24/2022 11:28 EST

Not an expert but I do think the US may have missed a great opportunity to more positively affect the outcome of the USSR/Russian transition post Gorbachev.

I have seen the naivete of economists and politicians who think it is a simple thing, while ignoring all the cultural, social and political subtleties of a given country, to export democracy and the free market system right off. Thus we have Putin and the rise of the oligarchs. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

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Andresen
5/24/2022 08:35 EST

President Putin is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.
"Hello, Mr. Putin!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Cork, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Putin replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is meself, me cousin Seán, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight!"

Putin paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 1,000,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begoora!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. "Mr. Putin, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Paddy?" Putin asks.

"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Putin sighs amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 60,000 tanks and 50,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 1,500,000 since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" says Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. Putin, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!"

Putin was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 1000 bombers and 2000 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 2,000,000!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I will have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Good mornin', Mr. Putin! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war."

"Really? I am sorry to hear that," says Putin. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," says Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness, and we decided there is no way we can feed 2,000,000 prisoners."

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geoffbob
5/23/2022 10:32 EST

In Omaha back in the 60's where I worked we accepted Canadian money at face value. That's really saying something because Nebraska is 3 states down from the border. In those days neither country had customs officers at the border between North Dakota & Manitoba. There was a customs office but it only had a book where people from both countries would sign in and then sign out when they left.
As to the Euro USD situation today, now you know how it feels to be an American in Europe getting walloped by 1o or 15%.

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