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Does this sound like a potential green card marriage fraud?

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EG202
7/16/2018 22:00 EST

Hello! I am a 22-year-old American, and I would appreciate any advice/perspectives on this quasi-romantic relationship and friendship I have with a 24-year-old Moroccan man.

I’ve known him for six months, meeting him in Morocco where we lived right by each other for a month and a half and became friends. He was very kind and respectful to me and everyone else around us. I found him to be very trustworthy as well, and he often took care of me when I needed help without expecting anything in return. We communicated in French (neither of us are fluent, so there is still a language barrier). He was dating someone else at the time. He mentioned he wanted to get married in the near future, but seemed unsure about her as his future wife.

We kept in casual touch since I returned to the States, but then he suddenly told me he loved me and asked me to be his lover (his former gf married someone else). I agreed, since he seems like a good person (not to mention he’s quite handsome :)). But then our “relationship” was just sending a few text messages each day. This, coupled with the fact that I know I am not particularly attractive (I get probably a little less sexual/romantic attention than the average girl my age), made me paranoid, wondering if he just planned on marrying me for my green card (he hadn't discussed marriage yet, though). When I asked him about the lack of communication, he said he was not experienced with sending love messages and then said he would die for me (?!!!).

I told him I couldn’t be with him romantically anymore because we are too far apart, and that I still wanted to be friends. To see if he just wanted me for a green card, I added that I couldn’t realistically move to Morocco for another two years (to see if he would insist on his moving to the US). He replied, “As you wish, but I love you from the bottom of my heart.” I said I was sorry, again emphasizing the distance to see how he would respond, and he just said there was no need to apologize.

Do you think I am right to be suspicious, or am I letting prejudice/bigotry get in the way of a friendship with a lovely person who had genuine feelings for me? I know we cannot be together romantically, but do you think I can still trust him as a friend, or was he trying to use me?

Shokran BZEF!

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FarahL
7/20/2018 17:18 EST

Hi There,
As you lived in Morocco for a little while, I am sure you already appreciate that, generally speaking, Moroccan culture and more especially that regarding romantic relationships & marriage is very different to that of "Western" society.
About 95% of the people I know in Morocco have had arranged marriages, where their prospective spouse is still selected/approved by their family. Decisions to marry commonly take place after 1 or 2 meetings and the marriage itself can happen very quickly after that. This means that there is not the same direct connection between romantic love & marriage that we would normally make. The normal hope is that, if the arranged marriage is successful, love will grow gradually between the couple.
But, whilst marriages can therefore be arranged for logical family or financial reasons, this doesn't mean to say that Moroccans are unromantic and I know of couples (both Moroccan) where one or other has declared their love within a couple of meetings- because this is a normal timescale for them...
This young guy has also said that he wanted to get married & his previous amour is now wed- so it would be understandable for him to move on but actually, in Moroccan terms, he is very young to be even considering marriage, as most men tend to be 30+ at this stage, while the women can easily be a decade younger.
You say you are "not attractive"- but again, you may be judging yourself by (your own) 'Western' standards- & not by what is considered attractive in Morocco. In comparing you to the sorts of girls his family might choose for him, he might well see you as educated, sophisticated, cosmopolitan, articulate - possibly even a 'trophy' girlfriend, who might impress his friends.
On the other hand, he could just be lonely and just wants some sort of male/female relationship, even at a distance, that it would be almost impossible for him to achieve with a Moroccan girl of the same age.
I honestly think it is very unlikely that, at this stage, he is trying to ensnare you with the hope of an ultimate "Green Card". Most Moroccans, as fatalists, are almost constitutionally incapable of planning strategically over a number of years, in the somewhat cold hearted way you envisage.
If you decide, therefore, that you would like to keep in contact, given your language difficulties, you will have to be very clear that you just wish to be friends, but that you would be happy to continue to communicate with him on this basis.
I hope some of this helps.
Best Wishes.

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Elaminrashad
8/8/2018 07:28 EST

Do not trust this person this is a trap and I promise you will regret this if you marry this person. As your fellow countryman I ask that you not as this is %100 green card fraud.

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