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Jo999 replied to the thread here we go again english woman and egyptian man on the Egypt forum:
yazz1972 initially posted:
i have been searching the net and found hundreds of dissaster stories of british women and egyptian men. im going to start posting on this site as i am at the very beginning of a relationship if you can call it that with an egyptian and i want those interested to see how it pans out and would appreciate sensible comments. i am a muslim woman, born in the uk. i have 2 properties, 3 grown up children, 2 good jobs and a very good life. i have been single for 7 years and had given p hope on finding my soul mate about a year ago. im not stupid, im very down to earth and ive been round the block. im very independent as are my daughters and i am very wary of men from any background as i have had a few bad experiences in the past with men living in the uk. ive been on dating sites but have never felt any chemistry with anyone. i have been to egypt 4 times. twice with my daughters and twice on my own. i love the country, i feel at home there, and the locals think im egyptian and imediately speek arabic to me untill i tell them im english, then they dont believe me. lol. i went to sharm in october 2011, not wanting to meet anyone, i am well aware of the fraudsters in sharm, the good looking young men, charming, out to get my money ect. i wanted a rest. but then i met mahmoud who works at the pool. he told me off for not having my pool card. lol the next day i gave him my pool card and later we had a brief chat. he was very serious, like an old head on young shoulders. he is religouse and always went to pray. he asked if i wasnt doing anything later we could go for a coffee. i took his number but didnt call him, i went shopping instead. the next morning i had flowers on my balcony form mahmoud. he said he waited fr my call, i explained i wasnt looking for a man to go out with. we chatted at points throuout the day, although he wasnt allowed to talk to me too much. in the evening i had no plans so thought what the heck, he seems nice, we get along, hes not immature, so i txted him and we met and went out for a coffee by the sea. ok, here we go...WOW ive never felt chemistry like this before. we talked for hours. hes very religious as i am, we spoke about the differences between the life of a woman in egypt and in england. he has his views and i have mine but the discussion was good and he was wrong and knew it. he was to get married a month before and had set up his flat for his new wife. but the marraige didnt happen as he told me he didnt want to marry her, she was only 18 and wanted to go clubbing and he was not interested in such things.but his father wanted him to marry her. the relationship broke down and the marraige was off. she has since married someone else. for the rest of the time i was there, we spent days and evenings going out together. i never gave him any money, he never asked for money. only one time, i offered to take HIM out for dinner, as i wanted to go to an expensive restaraunt id seen. I ended up paying for half of it and he payed the rest. WE NEVER HAD SEX, and he never stayed the night with me. no sex before marraige ect. we grew more attracted to each other, and the chemistry got stonger. I cant belive it but on the last day i cried when i had to leave, i cried on the plane because i felt id found the man ive been looking for. we are in touch every day. he hasnt asked me for anything but to send him a photo of me by email. i am going back in february. mahmoud has asked me if he can take me to meet his family. i said yes as id like to see where he actualy comes from. sometimes i feel like a right idiod, stupid british woman, who thinks this man feels something for her. dont want to make any mistakes. everything i have is for my children and always will be, but i miss him sooo much and have never felt this for any man , not even my childrens father, that wasnt love. i would not leave my children and go to egypt, i have too much to lose. if he askes for anything or anything changes before i go in feb2012 il will post it on here. thankyou, and sorry for an epic email!!! will keep you posted. yazz
Jo999 replied on March 31, 2015 with:
Noor, your story is really sad, so many of sad stories on this forum :( I am really sorry to hear that now you have to go through the divorce. Did you have any children? Did he live with you in the UK? My ex's parents knew about me; in the first month after he asked them for permission for us to marry they actually agreed. Unfortunately, soon after that my boy's mum died and his father completely changed his mind, also influenced by other members of his family (yes, a lot of uncles in there). My ex said he tried to convince them otherwise, but I really don't think he tried very hard. Noor, you say that your husband is in contact with you, because he finds it hard to let go but has no choice. The sad reality is that as a human being and as a man he actually has a choice... and he cowardly chooses them over you. Mine did the same, chose his family and also could not let go of me for 2 years after the "official" break up. By doing this he wrecked my life and I allowed him to do this to me, because I loved him and missed him and hoped he would grow up and, in fact, any form of contact was what I thought I needed. I hope that you will be able to move on from this faster than I did. 2 years later and I still have not totally moved on and I am currently still struggling - almost missing my normal happy life and running towards it and yet being dragged down by my feelings for my ex and all the good memories. I am almost there, I hope. I think from my personal experience I can only say that perhaps staying in touch with your ex is a bad idea, as it will torture you and prevent you from moving on, because you still love him and the situation is so "unreal" that we just cannot get our heads around how it is even possible. As we already know from our experience and all the posts on this forum, Egyptian boys can be very charming when they want to and are also possessive and jealous. This means that every time your ex will hear in your voice that you try to forget him and move on or that you are not as warm and loving as he is used to (even if you pretend it), he will switch his charm on, so that not to lose you - after all, losing you means that you will end up with another man and will be happy without him and the nature of Egyptian boys makes them absolutely furious about it. Please, don’t let him control you. I know, easier said than done. The interesting thing is that I never actually met my ex’s parents. He has two brothers and I met only one of them. Curiously enough, the brother that I did meet liked me very much and he was the one standing on our side in all the family disputes regarding our potential future. The other brother who lived with the father and who I never met was absolutely against our relationship... Another story: one of my Spanish colleagues married an Egyptian lady. I suppose it is a different situation, as we have a European man and Egyptian woman, however, my friend did say that the family was against their relationship in the beginning and what helped to convince them in favour was to meet them and see them face to face. In my case meeting my ex’s brother worked as well – I did not even have to convince him, he could see that I loved my boyfriend and that I was a normal person and not the devil as they (Egyptian) portray us (European/Christian). Is meeting the family face to face on of the ingredients for a successful relationship with an Egyptian? The story of my Spanish friend in the end had a happy ending. Was it also because the Egyptian lady fought for them and that is why they are still happy years later? Is that one of the key ingredients for a successful Egyptian love story – the Egyptian side has to be the woman, because only a woman can love so much that she will find for her love until the end of the universe? Well, no matter what we think can help the situation, it is too late for most of us on this forum...
Noor44 replied on March 30, 2015 with:
Hi Jo999, my story is the same as yours except I did marry my Egyptian and we were together 5 years. We got engaged after 6 months and at this point he told me that his family would never accept me so I would need to be a secret from them and we could never meet. His said it was his parents and uncles, in time once his parents were dead, I would meet his brothers. I did meet some of his friends. For 4 years we managed this double life and we were fine but on each trip he made to his parents the pressure built. As they didn't know he was married to me they kept on pressuring him to have an arranged marriage. After 4 years of marriage and 5 years together he eventually caved in when they gave him an ultimatum: agree to the marriage they gad planned for him or they would disown him. I'm so devastated and heartbroken. He just left our home and cut ties with me. Every now and then he keeps contact as he doesn't want to let go really but has no choice. Since then our relationship has deteriorated as he has started speaking to me in a bad way as he is stressed and I accused him of just using me as marriage is for life and he assured me that he would never choose them over me. And he's now started acting very cold and shady, said some very mean things and disrespected me: excusing it all on the fact he said I've insulted him by saying he used me. So in short all the nice memories of our marriage are now ruined and I've lost the love of my life. They will always choose their families Jo that's the sad part and I knew that all along: he just spent so long trying to convince me otherwise. You had a very lucky escape Jo as I now have the pain and hassle of divorce to contend with along with my broken heart. I enjoyed your post as it showed maturity and balance, like you say they are a product of a warped upbringing.
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ranilo14 replied to the thread Egyptian American nurse moving in Oct on the Egypt forum:
marie18 initially posted:
Hello, I am moving to Cairo this October and am a registered nurse here in the US. I understand that nursing in Egypt is not held in high esteem as it is in the states; nor does the licensing really work out unless it's a private school. I have not had luck finding work as a school nurse (which is why I am coming later than when the school year starts). Yes, I have looked at the World Health Organization and other NGOs but my problem seems to be that I do not really write or read Arabic (yet!). I speak it enough to get by but these are some of the reasons I am moving there! I am open to private nursing duty, teaching, etc. Any ideas or leads greatly appreciated. Take care!
ranilo14 replied on March 30, 2015 with:
Hi! i am a Filipino nurse (Operating Room) interested to go abroad. if in any case their is still a need for a nurse in Cairo with good compensation offer. it would be very helpful if you could contact me. email: ranilo14@icloud.com
Timara replied on December 02, 2014 with:
I'm the HR manager for a new Eimirati nutrition center in Cairo/Egypt and we need licensed nurses. I can help you if you're interested.
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Linda2106 posted Aswan on the Egypt forum on March 25, 2015:
Are there any expats living in Aswan who want to meet up for a coffee and a chat . I am living here during the winter months and spend the summers in Hurghada . Would be lovely to chat to English speaking / thinking friends here .
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MagnumJoe replied to the thread complicated relationship on the Egypt forum:
namos initially posted:
I came across this page coincidentally, and after reading all the stories I am quite concerned about my relationship with a young Egyptian man who is 21. I'm from England,, and I am a muslim. I went on holiday to Egypt hurghada, when I met him for the first time. He was a lifeguard at the hotel I stayed in for 2 weeks. On my first day, he seen me and was quite attracted to me. He came upto me and asked my name, age, and were I am from. I answered him but I didn't really pay any attention to him qt all. On the second day he said that he wants to meet me but because I was with my family I couldn't , and he got annoyed for 2 days. But in them 2 days he made eye contact and tried to talk to me but I avoided him. Whilst I was there I had a major accident were I had to have an operation, and stayed in hospital for a day. When he found out he quickly rushed to my sister and asked wot happened to me and wot hospital I was admitted in as he wanted to come and see me. But neither of them new which hospital I was in so he couldn't come. When I came back to the hotel he kept on looking at me to see how I was, and he asked my family how I was and told them to take proper care of me and not to let me run around anywhere. He wad really worried about me, and for next 2 days he always kept on asking my dad and sister how I was. We always maintained eye contact, and spoke once to each other. Wen he spoke to me I felt like he is the one for me. He really cared about about me so I had started to develop feelings for him. On my last day, he was really upset and didn't want me to go, so he came behind me to my room and he spoke to m. He wad really emotional. He even wrote a letter for me but I wasn't able to get it off him as I was with my family all the time. When I came back to England, we started talking, he told me everything about him, his family etc... And I thought yeh he is perfect. He made me many promises, he never asked me for money, visa etc.. It has now been 6 months we have been talking, but in them months my parents have found out ive been talking to him and they told me to cut all ties with him. But I didn't listen to them as I really love him, so I carried on. Then later they found out again and were quite upset about. But I still did not listen to them and carried on talking to him. With my parents not agreeing with our relationship, I'm really confused. Because I don't want to leave him and I don't want to leave my family. He is not a typical Egyptian guy who would leave me for money because he is not like that he is trustworthy. Know we just hope to be together soon. :(
MagnumJoe replied on March 20, 2015 with:
Namos, sweety, i am 31 years old egyptian man. You need to understand something. Even if he had no bad intentions, believe me, 90% of people's upbringing in egypt makes them emotionally unstable, immature, selfish, and abusive. This is just how it is. A lifeguard in egypt is NOT like a lifeguard in the UK. Here in egypt because of some social and economic composition, a lifeguard is a job for someone who has no job and no career, no educational background, and poor culture. You will say i am being judgmental. Maybe i am. But i can guarantee to you that 99% of lifeguards in egypt has this composition. You will in turn ask:"What is education good for?" Education doesn't mean he has a college degree. Education means that he can read and write, and is culturally exposed to different people and ideas or not? Education means communication and open mindedness. It means being able to understand and appreciate your differences, and understanding your own views in thus world. Believe me, the moment you'll talk in a serious subject he'll fail miserably! He is living a completely different life with a completely different code of ethics which does not match his beliefs. People in egypt have a dissociation between their belief and practicing it because of social stigma. Just try to think this one please. Leave your emotions aside, i beg you!
namos replied on March 16, 2015 with:
How can we be so biased towards Egyptian men anyway? Not all are the same... Its not as if I'm really older than him. We both are young, I'm 19 and he's 21, only 2 years older than me. They dont all do it for visa etc. In those 2 weeks ive got to know much about him, and ive gotten to know everything about him from his sister and him himself! Maybe your right maybe your wrong, but all im saying is we shouldn't be so judgemental toward Egyptian men.
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