Expat Advice: Relationships in Nagoya, Japan

What is the name of the city or town that you are reporting on?

Nagoya

What is your current status? Are you single, dating, in a long-term relationship, married or divorced?

I'm not married, but I am in a the first stage of a serious relationship with a Japanese man (I'm an American woman).

What is it like in your country of residence for someone with your relationship status (married/divorced/dating)? If you're single, how do you meet other people? Do English-speaking people tend to gravitate to certain parts of your city?

I've heard that being a foreign woman in Japan is difficult if you're looking for a relationship. That's definitely true! From the surface, it seems most foreign men here date only Japanese women, and that many even come to this country because it's considered to be so easy to find a Japanese girlfriend (or several, if that's what you're into).

Beneath the surface, I think Japanese men do fancy Western women. Unfortunatly, language barriers and shyness can kill any opportunity of meeting men. But if you're lucky, and can find someone you can connect with, the men here tend to be looking for serious relationships.

If you do not have children, do you generally spend your social time with other expat couples? If not, what else do you like to do as a couple?

We tend to split time between our friends, although the two groups never mingle. He and I mostly hang out with my Western friends, as his English is very good and my Japanese is almost non-existent.

If you are married or in a relationship with a person of another nationality, how has this experience enriched you as a person. What kind of challenges do you face?

I think dating someone who has a different native language, culture, religion is not for everyone. You must be patient. Miscommunication will happen, but if you ask questions and talk about things, that can minimize problems.

It's made me more understanding, patient, and a better listener. I have loved the experience so far. Think about it: you meet someone in another country. All they know of you and all you know of them is what you see. Family, history, etc are unknown, which can make for a pure relationship since background, money, social position aren't relevant, like they are in your home country.