Egypt Expat Forum: here we go again english woman and egyptian man| Expat Exchange

Date Posted: 12/26/2015 11:43 AM

Author chellz67

Date Posted: 12/26/2015 10:51 AM

I was in the middle of a fiance' visa process and stopped it cold turkey. ...when he started acting controlling more so. ...and trying to tell me how to dress here in my own country...just glad I never made it any farther with the process before he started showing his true colors....just ne vigilant amd careful. ...he sounds like he may be trying yo distance himself emotionally and is getting ready to try to separate himself from you....even though you have started the visa process already. ..I would definitely give it alot of thought as to whether or not to continue the process? ??....ask yourself some legitimate questions about his behavior. ...ones that you probably already know the answers to....his actions say alot and speak alot louder than any words coming out of his mouth....just sounds kind of sketchy to me....that's all....wish you the best with things....

Author confused19

Date Posted: 12/25/2015 8:55 PM

Hello, i am new to the forum, i am from the united States,and my husband is Egyptian. we have been married a little over an year, and currently going the visa process. we are a month to months to completing it. so like my name i am confused, and seeking advice.
The last couple of weeks he has been acting very different such as communication has dropped a great deal, to even ignoring my messages. As of right i haven spoken to him in a couple of days. I am considering putting the visa process on hold or stopping it. i really don"t understand his sudden change The only thing i could think of is,, he does not want to leave his parents. but in all fairness i did tell him , i would come live with him. whatever it is i wish he would just communicate.

Author chellz67

Date Posted: 12/25/2015 6:44 PM

I agree with this comment. ...having been in a 10 month long distance relationship.....with an Egyptian guy. ..I can honestly say from experience just be careful when dealing with them....the country is amazing and so are the people for thr most part....but I do believe some people are only in it for themselves...and in that fact can be dishonest with people to achieve what they want....even if it means being false with their feelings and what not...

Author wafa

Date Posted: 12/25/2015 4:01 PM

Excellent advice from the other Posters. You have given specifics of your own situation but if you feel pressured to rush into ANYTHING that is a HUGE FLAPPING RED FLAG. NEVER ignore it. Sad to say SCAMS are everywhere and most men are looking for easy money and/or to leave Egypt. They're phenomenal actors too and what makes it even more difficult is that sometimes the feelings really are real BUT BUT BUT then once they achieve their goal THEY change (at your expense financially/emotionally/socially)

Be Extremely careful, take your time, consider everything. Do NOT become another statistic and remember Once your MONEY is GONE you will NOT get it back. He needs to be 100+% able to support YOU and YOUR daughter. It is NEVER the other way around - NEVER.

Author CasualCairo

Date Posted: 12/25/2015 3:41 AM

That is VERY GOOD ADVICE! Hard to do, I'm sure, but you have to love your daughter more than the idea of being married to him and put her well being first.
If you have money, keep your money at home in an account he can't put his hands on. IF you ever need it, you will be happy you didn't hand it over to him to start some business or other reason (ie: sick relatives - especially mothers - tends to be one of the best ways they use to take money from foreign women)
Be very careful.
Why not come live in Egypt NOT MARRIED to him for at least a summer (in the event your daughter is still in school) and see how you feel about him and his culture at the end of that. Things change.

Author Nadadaamin

Date Posted: 12/24/2015 3:11 PM

Hello, well you did not write any details (like how did you meet, age difference, his job etc), it's hard to judge. but let me give you a small advice. wait with that and think of him and his intentions from non - romantic way. Is his job satisfying? Is he just trying to get away from egypt? what are his plans for future? I am not saying that if he plans to leave, it necessarily means he does not love you and is just using you, but there is a red flag to be aware of. Nicknames like "moon" and "queen" are very common here and don't mean that much. Most important are his intentions. Nowaday situation changed the "let's get an older woman and take her money" to "let's get married to any western woman and get away from here", and believe it or not, their parents and families play along and support this. You may end up marrying someone who is not in love with you and will leave you once he gets his residency, or will change so you wouldn't even know who are you with (as he was doing everything to make you fall for him and not showing his real face). Again, just because they want to leave does not mean they are not in love. Just make sure which situation are you in and close your heart for a while and think about it strictly with your head and try to understand his intentions. Best luck to you and your daughter :)

Author lovemyehab

Date Posted: 12/20/2015 3:02 PM

i am a canadian and i met my egyptian man over 3yrs ago, i love him very much, he calls my daughter his little moon and me his queen. in our hearts we are married. i have met his family online through skype, talked with them , laughed with them, they know me and him want to be together and is very supportive of it. i want to know if its safe for me to go get married there?

Author Nadadaamin

Date Posted: 12/2/2015 3:11 PM

Thanx to both of you for your nice words :) I just want to add, that if a girl is ready and open minded, she can be happy to live in Egypt. I know two women in their 60s who married arab guys, one is widdow, other divorced after many years of quite happy marriage (reason of a divorce - love went away plus he did not want to stay in Egypt, she didn't want to leave)... Both are extremly happy living in egypt for 30 years and would never want to live anywhere else, and I feel the same... Arab world is not for everyone, but once I let it in my heart, it's my home and it will stay that way :) I am married for a short time, but I live in this world for past 6 years up and down. I think I saw it all (also spent a lot of time in rural areas for charity reasons, lived in upper egypt, Cairo, Alex, stayed with poor people and met many too rich people). I am writing this as someone above was talking about Egypt and life here in a bad way. Again, it's not for everyone, it's not so fancy, but once you know all the inner beauty, there is no way back home :)

Author CasualCairo

Date Posted: 12/1/2015 1:26 PM

Always happy to hear a happy story too, but I credit your success 90% to NOT having fallen for some guide or bar tender, fellucca boy, calesh driver, or whatever working with tourists. There are decent guys in Egypt, but most of them don't work in tourism.

Best of luck for your future. Hope everything stays good.

Author wafa

Date Posted: 12/1/2015 1:18 PM

Great to hear you had/have a positive experience to share. Also (reading between the lines) you've had your priorities properly in place, a very good amount of common sense, a hold on your heart and prudence to play it all out so as to arrive at a good outcome! :) :) :)

Have read far to many tragic stories and had to hold my own gf's hand too many times as her MMID bled her dry of all she was and everything she had. Sadly she couldn't see beyond the stars in her own eyes and couldn't take her heart out of the situation. Unfortunately he also took her soul, her future and her self respect along with her money.

Best of luck to you! Great to hear a good story with a good outcome.

Author Nadadaamin

Date Posted: 12/1/2015 12:54 PM

hello everyone
I wanna share my happy story with you all. The story started 6 years ago, and was not that happy at the beginning... Started with an egyptian guy, who wasn't ready to get himself into trouble of marrying a foreign girl (would you believe that?). i was totally heartbroken, because he was a nice guy, just a big coward I must say. But thank God at this time, when I was having a practice in Alex, I met my current hubby. We were collegues and friends for 3 years before we started to see each other on a romantic way. One day, after I finished my other bad relationship, he proposed. We live together for a short time, but he cooks, prepares coffee in the morning, helps to clean the appartment and does everything for me. He payed for all the furniture and pays for living, as I am currently just searching for a job. Our story did not start in any vaccation destination (never went there), but I've heared many stories about "Not my Mohammed". For everyone here, BE CAREFULL! I am saying this will all my love I built in past 6 years to Egypt and it's people: Too many Egyptian guys are s**t! They use sweet words, they will promise you the world, they will act like the best people ever, untill they get their residency. They don't even have to ask for money! So everyone, listen to your heart, but don't let your heart to fool your common sence :)

Author Darling1971

Date Posted: 10/14/2015 5:03 PM

Thanks everyone for their responses they are very much appreciated. I am praying and hoping for the best.

Author melissa1984

Date Posted: 10/14/2015 2:55 PM

Well put! Often we need to learn this hard way!

Author MagnumJoe

Date Posted: 10/14/2015 12:20 PM

To be honest darling, what you are describing could happen with any couple. It's very non-specific. It even could happen between family members...

Author wafa

Date Posted: 10/14/2015 12:03 PM

@Melissa - ;) ;) "I" understood ;) ;)

And darling - we can't tell you why you are sensing your relationship with you husband has changed as there are so MANY MANY MANY factors involved in relationships between Muslim men and non-Muslim women. Your own intuition is going to be your biggest guide and never dismiss it. Listen to it carefully, VERY carefully and if I was to offer actually advice I'd say "Take care of YOURSELF FIRST"

Author melissa1984

Date Posted: 10/14/2015 10:08 AM

Actually meant my response for darling. Sorry Wafa.

Author melissa1984

Date Posted: 10/14/2015 9:44 AM

Wafa, if you don't me asking, what is the age difference between you and your husband? ALSO do you 2 work because you said you talk all day, every day. Also, you said you dated several months before marrying. How long have you actually spent together in person? You mentioned being concerned about changes in behavior for a few months and his answers sounding suspicious. Have you read bezness, egypt? I highly recommend it. It is always a good idea to understand what many have experienced. It is so wonderful to feel courted and have someone who wants to marry you. But the pattern of doing so after a few months may be part of a pattern most of the members on this site have experienced. Do listen to that voice that got you to this site and don't ignore what many have experienced. Obviously there are a few exceptions but sadly many women share that after a few years a new bride enters the picture and you may find you were a lamb to the slaughter,
Good luck to you and remember to go slowly. There is much at stake for you.

Author wafa

Date Posted: 10/14/2015 12:36 AM

Cool. All the Best

Author Darling1971

Date Posted: 10/13/2015 1:21 PM

Well Wafa, thanks again for your response, however I just want to clear things up for you. 1. My husband is the first Muslim i ever dated so all this is new to me and I am learning. 2. Right now my husband and I do not live together we are working on our working on our living arrangements.

3. My I am planning on converting to his religion. And For most of Ramadan i fasted to show my support.

I truly love my husband and I just want the best for us.

.

Author Darling1971

Date Posted: 10/13/2015 1:21 PM

Author Darling1971

Date Posted: 10/12/2015 12:54 PM

Author chellz67

Date Posted: 6/6/2015 11:02 AM

thanks marcy for your input:)….always nice to see the positive side of things….no matter what the discussion is:)….i commend you on your pride and your fortitude to stand up for what you believe in!!:)…and so happy that your relationship with and marriage to abdou is going great!!!….let's all take time to appreciate the good and wonderful things in our lives!!…and stop focusing on all the negative crap!!!..lol…life is way to short for that!!!

Author marcynabdou

Date Posted: 6/5/2015 5:48 PM

Offended never..agenda where why lol I think your a little crazy smdh no things ever peches and cream we r happy we have issues like other marriages but love is what keeps us together thank u very much..and yes I realize this is mostly bout European woman but it says English and um I beleive I am just Cuz I'm from the states don't mean jack...I'm just saying not everyone from Egypt is that way and just want a visa from some rich chic..Egypt is a beautiful place not everyone wants to leave and thanks for wishing me the best and on the glowing part 2 years later u can say that with most marriages and I'm sure there are more woman but they just afraid to post Cuz of bs like this...I'm not scared :-) anyway I'm just stating my experience and my thoughts

Author melissa1984

Date Posted: 6/5/2015 5:14 PM

Sorry to offend. I have never doubted your apparent joy and thereare way more than 2 sides to everything. It just seems odd to me that you try to counter every one with, well see how happy I am. So good everyone knows, but my lady I fear thou doth protest too much. Why? Who are u trying convince? Why throw in this silly irrelevant stuff about how bad the usa is. It is just disjointed and feels like a PR person. And most of these women are European. Why throw stuff in that doesn't even fit in the conversation like kids are kidnapped in the USA. Quite true, so? Again, you are ecstatic with your 2 relationship, no one on here hates Egypt and in fact our tourist and defense dollars are hugely beneficial, this discussion is about relationships that happened to be mostly bad and are connected to a different mindset in cultures and religion and tons of other stuff that magnum Joe has said much more eloquently than I could. That is it and again your throwaway lines still lead me to believe that you have an agenda. It will be quite interesting to see where you sit with all this in another 2-5 years. I do hope for the best for you though and only wish there were more women who have had your experience. Many by the way were still glowing at 2 years. And on some other more relevant site I would love to entertain your thoughts on the world scene and esp. America.

Date Posted: 5/23/2015 9:29 AM

No one can access your property even if he is your husband.

Preventing you from leaving egypt happens when the marriage is officiated, not with customary marriage... That's s paradox i know. But that's the law in egypt and that's why in general you need to be trusting to him. You just need time with him i guess.

From what you said? I can't really decide if he is genuine or not. 50-50 chance.

Author MagnumJoe

Date Posted: 5/23/2015 9:22 AM

Anna,

You're kinda missing the point. It's not just about being sincere or wanting to scam you. It's about he himself knowing himself and being mature enough what does he want with his life?

I don't know his age, but he might be confusing many emotions together and believes that he wants to get married whereas he just likes you at most?

Egyptian people, men and women, are too dramatic in every aspect if their lives! They party like there is no tomorrow and they grieve like there is nothing else to do!

And when they feel the slightest emotion they amplify and romanticize it until they really feel they want to get married. And after marriage, they discover that they were dellusional!

How to overcome that?

Don't ever look for signs of being nice or sweet or caring. Look for signs of maturity.

Is he composed? Steady? Rational? Or impulsive and overreactive?

That's just to start with...

Date Posted: 4/3/2015 8:56 PM

Oh and by the way me and abdou just had 2 year anniversary and our son Alex is 10 months now just started walking :)

Author melissa1984

Date Posted: 4/3/2015 8:49 PM

Egypt is great but I have never seen people who seem to be related to everyone. Will you be in Cairo? If so you should be fine. Anywhere else he may find you. Let us know about your trip. Luxor and Aswan especially are gossipy. If in Luxor, go to Jamboree Restaurant in the souk. It is awesome and cheap too.

Author scooby69

Date Posted: 3/20/2015 8:44 AM

Hi Jo,
I am currently writing a piece for the Daily Mail on the subject and English women and Egyptian men and I wondered if you could find the time to talk to me by phone?
Maureen

Author Jo999

Date Posted: 3/20/2015 5:38 AM

This is a really sad story indeed. My problem is that I still love my Egyptian ex and the thought of him coming back to my life scares me, for two reasons - I am scared that I love him too much and will allow him into my normal life and, of course, I am scared of him abusing me in a similar manner described in those messages. I really don't understand what is it with Egyptian culture and bringing up. Yes, I know, not all people are like this, but let's face it, what we consider normal applies to an absolute minority of Egyptian man. Even my man who seemed so sweet, caring and all that other romantic Egyptian rubbish - rubbish, because it is a big lie - even I can see that my sweet boy is just a boy, whereas he should be a man, because he is already 31. He does not have to worry about anything, he is poor, has nothing to lose. If he is sick or loses his job, all he has to do is go back home and do nothing in there, which he already did in the past. When he has a wife, all he has to do is to impregnate her, have some fun and sex for a few days and then go back to work for a few weeks whilst the family feed the wife and take care of her and he does nothing. Even though my sweet boy seems so good, I can see he is possessive, jealous and very selfish. And it really seems to me that most Egyptian man are like that and I do not know still how there are comments from other people who are upset that we are generalising - if there is only 5 % of different Egyptian man, then we are allowed to generalise, and I fear 5% is and overstatement. I think the economy in that country is purely what they created for themselves and perhaps one day that country ceases to exist. All they can do is to say in'shaallah it will happened, but their lazy arses do nothing to make good things happen. They point their hands to God and hope that God will sort the mess out for them. And then they laugh, "this is the Egyptian way". Shame on them!!!

Author AnotherSadStory

Date Posted: 3/20/2015 12:13 AM

Thanks so much melissa1984!
Well.. this is what I expected to get as a response because it is logical. So I'm not surprised you are telling me to run away and I understand it would be the best thing to do for everyone (including my husband because he is suffering too). My child doesn't see us arguing (probably can hear I'm not sure), but he does notice that his mum never smiles any more.

I am very depressed (even started having suicidal thoughts, but thanks God I have a child .. so it's not an option) and I have no one to talk to about my personal life. All my friends are happily married for years and would not understand the hell I live in and the most important why I did it to myself.

Gosh.. I thought he is perfect! Smart, funny, confident, well educated, hard working, has similar interests and goals, likes kids, wants to have kids and the most important I was so sure he loves me! Almost everything has gone from the list except for his education and work probably. I fell in love so quickly.. too quickly :(

Author melissa1984

Date Posted: 3/19/2015 9:44 PM

hi, my message in response to the Austrailian woman is up a few. Something is wrong with my
computer or the website. Hope you get this.

Author melissa1984

Date Posted: 3/19/2015 9:39 PM

Wow, this story is so sad and honestly it only seems to be getting worse. Do you realize u are being emotionally abused? This merry go round is the slow and tedious journey to your own personal hell. First of all, your poor kid watching all of this. Why would you allow that? Kids are sensitive and believe me they know what is going on around them, If I was your first husband and understood just how unhealthy and abusive this relationship is I would be going for custody. Also how degrading this man is to basically say you have been married before and therefore have some kind of stigma. Thirdly, you aren't good enough for his family? Spare me, how about you are not taking care of yourself or your kid by allowing this man to degrade you. He will NOT change, this situation will continue to go downhill and you are wasting your time being treated like crap. This is what abuse looks like: You never know how you are gonna be treated, well one moment and horrible the next. And once you stay and put up with this it is much harder to get out because this becomes your new normal. Let him go to Egypt have his kid with the wife his parents have picked for him and then get another address. Be brave, cut the chord and just remember there are bridges that are just too far. You can do it, I know you can. Then go volunteer at a woman's shelter or get a really good therapist and soon you will see just how close you got to losing all shreds of self esteem. Remember these guys do the romance part beautifully, the aftermath is frequently a nightmare except you don't get to wake up. You know what you need to do, just don't allow yourself any more heartache than you have already suffered. Life is so short and you deserve much, much better but only you can make that happen.

Author AnotherSadStory

Date Posted: 3/19/2015 8:07 PM

Thanks MagnumJoe! Didn't expect I'll get a response so quickly. :)

Yes that's exactly how he explained it to me about hiring surrogate mother. He simply doesn't want me to have any rights for the child so he can do whatever he wants with him.

Recently he told me he is thinking about having a vasectomy because he doesn't like kids and not planning to have any. I can see how he is with my child - completely not interested and happy when the child is not at home..

He is 24 and I understand he has his own fears and worries, but it doesn't make feel better. Especially when I ask him 'why are you with me' and he has nothing to answer. I know that he is physically very attracted to me and that is probably it.

I hope our relationship will get better at some point, but the thought that he is just using me to get the passport is terrifying...

Author MagnumJoe

Date Posted: 3/19/2015 7:17 PM

The only striking thing is him wanting to hire surrogate mother. That is genuinely weird.

But nonetheless, it is a common incident in egypt that foreigner women, after begetting a child from an egyptian man, flee with the kid and make restriction orders towards him in her country. The reason for that to happen is completely ambiguous to me. It even happened to my father's cousin. He was a veteran egineer in schlumberger, highly educated and speaks 5 languages, he has none of the cultural traditional qwirks, and his danish wife vanished with his one year kid. The next day she sent him an email telling him that she did it because she wants to raise her kid alone without any other influences.

Weird i know, but that's a common scene.

Other than that, all of what you said is just him being an immature and insecure typical egyptian man.

He is having a deep conflict of cultures inside of him right now, and that's how it is manifesting. It will take time.

How old is he?

Author MagnumJoe

Date Posted: 3/19/2015 7:16 PM

Author AnotherSadStory

Date Posted: 3/19/2015 6:15 PM

Hi everyone,

I'm Australian met my Egyptian husband on the net 2 years ago. After a week of chatting he told me that he has found what he was looking for and closed his account and asked me to close mine which I did.

We got married a few months ago. I'm a very good looking young woman, but 10 years older than him and have a child from the previous marriage. I paid for his visa to come to Australia, paid for his flight ticket, for the wedding and honeymoon and also sent him about a thousand dollars to Egypt because he told me that he owes that money at work (he was working in a big private school). Was very unusual situation for me, but what wouldn't you do for Love?

Yeah.. I know looks like an obvious scam at this point. However, there are a few more thing to add.

He was Always available for me day and night and called me 3 times a day. He was even watching me sleeping on Skype for hours.. this is how much he loved me (I thought). We met in person in Malaysia 2 months after meeting online and it was the most beautiful time of my life. He made me feel like I'm a little girl or a princess. He was extremely caring, charming, intelligent, funny and very handsome of course. We shared all the expenses and he paid for his flight tickets. So I was feeling pretty good with it. The only problem we had on the last day he asked me to tell him about my previous relationships and I told him Everything about my past! I trusted him so much and hoped he will understand, but he was really sad and angry and was going to split up with me. I begged him to stay... and we decided to get married to be together.

After we went back home and applied for Australian visa he was torturing me with millions of questions about my exes for the next few months. He couldn't and still can't accept that part of my life and some of my stories even though I explained many times how and why it happened to me.

While waiting for the visa I went to Egypt and met his mother and brothers and some of his friends. They all treated me really well and I was feeling like a part of his family. I visited his work place too. He rented a beautiful apartment for us in the best suburb of Egypt even though it was really hard for him financially and also hired a taxi for all our trips.

One of his American friends told me then that he is a very good guy, very generous and kind, but he is jealous like all Egyptians and told me to be careful. I said yes I know what you are talking about, but apparently I didn't.

Since he arrived to Australia we have been having arguments almost every day and the main reason for that - he doesn't trust me and yeah.. I don't trust him 100% either. To make it clear I spend all my free time with him and my child and never go anywhere alone except for work, but he always reminds me of my previous relationships even though I never gave him a single reason to doubt me. Furthermore, I didn't hide or surprised him with anything since we met, but I can't tell the same about him.

I was really disappointed to know that his relatives still don't know why and how he migrated to Australia, for them he is here just for work. Up until now there are only a few people who know that he is actually married. He lies his mother about being married to a woman with a child. Told me that if we have a child I can't go with him to Egypt to visit his family because he doesn't want them to meet me, they can notice that I'm older and it's shameful for him. Doesn't want to get married in the Church. Also he told me that he will probably have a child from a surrogate mother, so it will be only his child and that he doesn't want to have kids with me.
All this stuff was completely new for me.

I can never comment about his behaviour and actions because it always ends up with blaming me for my past, humiliation and him trying to leave me.

However, when we are not fighting, he is very romantic, affectionate and caring. He is genuinely worried and so helpful when I'm sick. Often he picks me up in his arms and carries me around and hugs me every day for 10 minutes before we go to work. He kisses me at nights while I'm asleep trying not to wake me up. When I wanted to sell my wedding dress he said it's really important for him to keep it because he wants me to wear it in 20 years anniversary and "bought" it from me. He also does all the house work without me asking him. My child likes him, even though he is very strict with him. My husband got a good stable job in Australia pretty quickly, shares all the expanses with me, buys gifts for me from time to time, but also sends a good amount of money on regularly basis to his family in Egypt. Recently, he started saving some cache money at home and was trying to hide it from me.

Life with him now is more like going from heaven to hell and back every week. I'm feeling so tired and exhausted emotionally.

I would really appreciate if someone could just help me to understand what's going on and what is on his mind?

Author marcynabdou

Date Posted: 3/10/2015 12:44 PM

I'm very interested :) please put her in touch with me thx

Author scooby69

Date Posted: 3/10/2015 11:39 AM

Is anyone on this forum willing to speak to a journalist from the Daily Mail who is writing a piece about marriages between Egyptians and English women? Please reply if you are and I will put you in touch. The lady is very nice and interested in this whole subject.

Author melissa1984

Date Posted: 3/9/2015 6:43 PM

Thanks Jo for your comments about your relationship experience. I believe you will eventually feel like you dodged a bullet while still being glad for having had the experience. Yes those cultural divides are tough and love can be strained beyond the breaking point. Still good memories and remembered loves fill the pages of our own personal story and I appreciate your sharing an important chapter in your own story.

Author Jo999

Date Posted: 3/9/2015 3:26 PM

I am curious too, how did your story go Yazz?

I am worried that it was one of those bad endings, like mine. My EG boy wasn't bad, wasn't a scammer, but he was simply too weak. Could not go against his backward-thinking family. So he chose between me and his family: the family won. I know he was not after my money, nor visa, we really fell in love. In the beginning it was a little bit about the opportunity he saw for himself attached to a girl he really fancied and was attracted to, I won't lie, I felt it, I saw it, I heard it. But this changed very quickly, as we fell in love even deeper. All was wasted, as he was too immature and too weak, and, I suppose, more realistic than me. I think fate took good care of me by not letting him marry me. Cultural differences alone, but especially combined with religious differences cause a lot of pain. Relationship is possible, but I cannot believe that it would be easy; not only not easy, but simply painful. In such relationships the person who loves more will end up losing themselves more and more each year. My boy loved me deeply, but not deep enough. My boy was generous, but somehow very selfish at the same time. My boy loved me, but loved himself more. And the sad story is that I still love him, whilst waiting for him to get married to Egyptian girl. I am getting stronger and moving on. Perhaps anger helps me with this. Sadly, I will ask myself forever, "what if". Shame I will have to live my life with this question at the back of my head and inside my heart, but at the same time I know that I will be OK, I will heal and move on. Shame that when (not if, when) he is back, it will be too late - and I already cry over that moment. Good luck to all of us with broken hearts and those of you who can avoid our mistakes, stay safe.

On another note, please, no one on this forum is trying to be nasty and generalise. It only usually takes one bad experience or one Egyptian man to open our eyes and see other people for who they are. We try to share our experience, so that those women who can see similar patterns in their new relationships can perhaps open their eyes and think. That is all. There is no need to call names and swear and then use an excuse that it is a forum, so you can say anything - you can say anything you want and us, other people can consider you rude and a waste of time.

Author vesa15

Date Posted: 3/2/2015 11:39 AM

yazz1972 - I was curious to hear your news...

You in Alex? Or your bf passed the language test and you are living happily together here...

Author scooby69

Date Posted: 2/15/2015 5:57 AM

I've just read this novel which bizarrely is all about a relationship between and Western Woman and an Egyptian man. It's set in Luxor and It's a very funny and touching read but it also tells you a lot about many of the situations people are discussing on here. This is a link to it for your Kindles: http://tinyurl.com/tvstreet

Author melissa1984

Date Posted: 2/3/2015 5:02 AM

Actually some of the most civilized, well thought out and articulate info has come from several people including
Magnum Joe. Perhaps he and I both think that telling someone to shut up has no place on this or any forum. And I am thinking that a man who actually lives in Egypt has more to say than a man who hasn't lived in Egypt for 40 years but definitely is the expert. Just saying where I am getting some actual information and intelligent commentary. No one is
saying your experience isn't well worth sharing, it is just
that lots of others have had or are having entirely different experiences. I appreciate that your time in Egypt and your husband have worked out swimmingly. Sounds good decisions for you. If you read the other 200 entries other people as you say in an open forum need to and are expressing what has happened to them. This info is amazing helpful and may well save some people major heartache and loss of funds.
Again, this takes nothing from you. May your life continue to be full of love and happiness.

Author MagnumJoe

Date Posted: 2/3/2015 5:00 AM

Well at some point i felt like you, but i conveyed my point of view without telling her to shutup nor describing her as ignorant. Nor even seconding on it.

Cheers.

Author marcynabdou

Date Posted: 2/3/2015 4:27 AM

Hey magnum chill bro lmao this is a public forum is it not? maybe u n melissa need to hook up jk jk LOL not rude just saying how we feel :)

Author MagnumJoe

Date Posted: 2/2/2015 7:28 PM

Although i disagreed with melissa on some small details, but that is rude and immature.

Way to go, guys, way to go.

Author marcynabdou

Date Posted: 2/2/2015 7:24 PM

Damn it lionking I couldn't have said it better bahahahaha..she must have got burned bad to crucify almost every egyptian man in this way.. omg and this is why I LOL melissa haha people find love all over the world and most r not scams I agree if the man is much younger than the woman look out but that's anywhere hello? men in America looking for a sugar mama all the time haha maybe u should look here LOL

Author lionking2013

Date Posted: 2/2/2015 6:05 PM

Melissa1984, please just SHUT UP!!! We already know about your damn bad experience with the Egyptian guy from Aswan 10,000 years ago!! So, you know it ALL about Egyptians!!! You are one of those who think that they know, and don't know that they don't know. In other words, the ignorant.

Author melissa1984

Date Posted: 2/2/2015 1:22 PM

Glad you have a good man. Regarding the genital mutilation it is at 96 percent STILL but it is against the law. You don't need to do the LOL thing. I appreciate your comments and I think you need to know that NO ONE on here is saying every Egyptian male is a piece of work. So, I think we all know that and you don't need to defend what we all know, Muslim countries have a different track record with women, period. Numbers don't lie and great that your experience is different. It is the minority though because most western women are used to a different life. Also, life in Cairo and Alexandria is way different than in southern Egypt which is mostly a very difficult place for western women to live. I think it is important to know both that some women fit well into this culture and the scamming thing is real and certainly way worse than say where I live, in Savannah, Ga. Obviously I don't know everyone but I don't know of blatant cases though I am sure they are out there. Still numbers don't lie!

Author CasualCairo

Date Posted: 2/2/2015 4:53 AM

Also, I think we need to qualify that your statement "the great majority are truly scammers", shoud read, "the great majority that are hooking up with foreigners via the Internet are truly scammers", that lets the real VAST majority that have nothing to do with meeting women on the Internet off the hook....their major faults are still listed in that article. ;)

Author CasualCairo

Date Posted: 2/2/2015 4:48 AM

Magnum Joe....the problem is that the non scammers are usually NOT necessarily attracted to foreign women. They are looking at women in their own social-economic class which is the norm in Egypt. The women that are defending the men (that might or might not be scammers) are probably women that have ONE Egyptian man that they've ever dated and really are making judgements because of that one experience. If it turns out to be a good experience I guess they can consider themselves lucky (the same as any one that manages to have a long successul marriage anywhere should).

Recently CAIRO SCENE published this. You all should read it. Yes it is written tongue in cheek, but most of the women I know that have read it that live in Egypt and have dated more than ONE Egyptian man agree that 90% of the men here have over 50% of the traits listed. How many are forgiveable or are you able to overlook for a long term relationship? And this is from the so called NORMAL guys, not even necessarily the ones that are scamming foreigners on the Internet.

http://www.cairoscene.com/ViewArticle.aspx?AId=1901-Dating-Men-Vs-Egyptian-Men

Enjoy.

Author MagnumJoe

Date Posted: 2/1/2015 12:09 PM

Well marcy, to be honest, the great majority are truly scammers. But genuine people are not rare either: they're just a minority.

And like i said earlier on this thread, and in another thread, you girls tend to have a problem to know if a guy is good or bad, because of cultural differences.

It's ok to admit that, melissa, you know?

Author marcynabdou

Date Posted: 2/1/2015 11:17 AM

Probably cuz she don't want to hear it lol some people just have a one track mind lol I think it's really sad just because some egyptian men r scammers they think they all are...we are all people in the end and some just are not good has nothing to do with where people r from lol...God bless Egypt and it's people even the scammers hahahahahaha

Author MagnumJoe

Date Posted: 2/1/2015 5:23 AM

Melissa1984,

Why are you not replying to my posts?

I am just trying to give you another perspective, or actually show you a completely different sector of egyptian community.

Author marcynabdou

Date Posted: 1/31/2015 8:55 PM

We are 4 years apart I'm 39 he is 35 and I joined this forum right before I went to Egypt to marry haha I never posted until after..trust me I read I wasn't stupid as all my friends thought and even his family thought we were crazy and really didn't even know if would show but I swear 3 weeks after we met on Facebook I knew he was the one strange I know but I'm telling u the truth I was married to a man from Yemen we met when we were young he was already citezen and he ended up cheating on me after a few years and then in the end his family made him go marry his cousin haha try to live that life lmao thank god I moved on after 20 years and it is only because of my husband I beleive in love again :)

Author melissa1984

Date Posted: 1/31/2015 6:00 PM

You are most welcome. Main things to remember, not to discuss marriage, not to pay for anything except your own wants and needs, if the age difference is large that is a sure sign of the sting and just enjoy yourself without his urging that there be a future. Good luck and I get the need for some serious flirting and courting but the general track record of these rascals no matter how endearing is abysmal. Keep us posted!

Author MagnumJoe

Date Posted: 1/31/2015 12:02 AM

Melissa,

I am with you on your description, but not on the ratios. (Not talking about FGM though, the number you've stated is somewhat true.)

And this proves what i have said earlier: that you didn't get exposed to a certain class of people, a specific community, where nothing of this happens, and where you don't need to be a feminist to treat your girl fair.

And this community is a big one: you just need one or two persons and then you will know dozens in an astounding domino effect.

It may not be easy to find these people, but sure as hell not impossible.

Author chellz67

Date Posted: 1/30/2015 10:51 PM

thanks melissa for your words of wisdom:)…and congrats on winning your battle with cancer:)….nothing like a renewed outlook and spirit and a new lease on life:)….points you made are well taken….and i will definitely be cautious and smart about things:)

Author MCSHANE64

Date Posted: 1/30/2015 8:24 PM

I WAS JUST CURIOUS MARCY HOW MANY YEARS AGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND?

Author marcynabdou

Date Posted: 1/30/2015 8:09 PM

Lol some people think that but it is not true I left Egypt twice and it wasn't up to my husband lol he is actually more educated then I am he got a bachelor's in mechanical engineering and from what I saw with his family the women do whatever they want it is not like that with everyone..my husband has 6 sisters and they go and do whatever they want have Facebook etc and yes I agree genital mutilation is discusting and horrible thing to do to women but Egypt is not the only place that happens and now they are against it from what my husband has told me and from what I have read it doesn't happen anymore mainstream anyway and to tell u the truth Egypt ain't that ancient anymore I lived there for 5 months and some systems are way behind but most people are coming into this day and age especially the younsters

Author melissa1984

Date Posted: 1/30/2015 7:56 PM

Congrats on being a cancer survivor. Me too! Having said that, I get the need for love and enthusiasm and even risk. Just remember there are things way worse than being alone, like being in a relationship with a predator. A beautiful predator, a charming predator, but still......You get it. Just don't get rushed into marriage, don 't even think marriage, think Egypt is a great place to heal and have adventures. You will be surrounded though as that is the nature of the beast and don't consider any of these comments to be negative, because more than likely, they are the God's awful truth. Still you can have fun as long as you arm yourself with your radar and the wisdom you are hearing.

Author melissa1984

Date Posted: 1/30/2015 7:43 PM

Thank you for your well thought out response. It is so difficult to believe that even after reading this blog that so many could still be falling for this dangerous game. Remember, if you marry an Egyptian in a legal manner, you are his property. You might be older and smarter and more educated but you are not free. You need his permission to leave the country. Are you ready for this? Do you really think that charm will last? It is very difficult to hear this minority of women say there are creeps everywhere. There are, obviously. The point is that in Egypt there is an ancient system that supports systematic oppression of women including the 96% that are victims of genital mutilation. What about that? Is it unpleasant to hear these truths? No these truths are self evident, women are not free here except in a very minority of cases. like you have married a Harvard educated feminist psychologist. Seriously women, great if you are the rare exception. These gender rules are way bigger than you and if you are oblivious enough to ignore this social dynamic, well don't go crying to your embassy. They have way more important things than to save you from your own self will run riot.

Author Summer96

Date Posted: 1/30/2015 5:30 PM

Your posting swings between self-deprecation and helpless infatuation, revealing the conflict between your head and your heart. In a Western democracy, you would be free to act openly on your feelings until they subside. However, your religion and the Egyptian culture and laws would condems this, with possible serious consequences. But marriage? That is a legal, social and cultural transaction - your property becomes his property, and a serious young man often becomes a dogmatic, autocratic, and unsympathetic husband. it is a common trajectory. Once he has the power, ownership and authority of marriage, you and your daughters would become subservient to his dictates and his family, by tradition and law. And he may tire of an older woman in a year or two, and seek another younger wife. If he were a Western- educated, widely traveled, sophisticated younger man, there might be some possibilities for a harmonious long term relationship, but you have MUCH to lose - in status, assets, independence, mobility, and only fleeting passion to gain from this alliance. Remember, passion cools quickly when one's rights and freedom are diminished. Avoid him if you value your independence and assets. Good chemistry is great, but not when the consequences of action are catastrophic. IMHO, you should run away from this as fast as you can. Listen to your head, not your heart. Cry your tears of disappointment, but stay free. You are playing with fire, and with your life.

Author marcynabdou

Date Posted: 1/30/2015 4:16 PM

Hi and you are so welcome and thank u he is our Lil star and um for the other ladies comment not all families push or accept a foreign marriage yes I may be the happy exception but I know I'm not the only one I have met others on this journey and I have met disaster stories to haha but they are every where not just Egypt lol good day and to all of u that have found love online or beleive u have beware no matter where the man is from lol damn I wish this site let u post pics haha

Author MCSHANE64

Date Posted: 1/30/2015 2:36 PM

AND YOU WOULD BE ONE OF THE FEW LUCKY EXCEPTIONS! GOOGLE EGYPTIAN MEN AND U WILL SEE WHAT I MEAN. EVEN USA GOVERNMENT WARNS ABOUT MARRYING EGYPTIANS

Author chellz67

Date Posted: 1/30/2015 1:23 PM

thanks for your info/input mcshane:)

Author chellz67

Date Posted: 1/30/2015 1:20 PM

Hi marcy:)…i love your posts…they are always so positive in nature:)…might actually give me some hope!!…lol:)…thanks:)…michelle:)…congrats on the new baby!!!

Author melissa1984

Date Posted: 1/30/2015 12:30 PM

Yes and read down a ways for a really long post by an Egyptian male who explains it all beautifully. But yes, no doubt he will talk marriage and push it and since we aren't used to such charm it is easy to fall for. It is all fakery and predatory behavior. Their families will get involved and push too as they want your money. My Egyptian male friend told me that marrying foreign women is big business in Egypt. Bet the guy has no college degree, is younger and has several email buddies to soak. Again, I get how good it feels and romantic but it is not the real thing.

Author melissa1984

Date Posted: 1/30/2015 12:11 PM

actually no, the us state dept. and the Egyptian government and all reputable travel books have spoken of Egypt as having the most predatory men on the planet. You are the happy exception.

Author marcynabdou

Date Posted: 1/30/2015 11:31 AM

McShane not all are looking for virgens lol I had 4 kids before marrying my husband and having another with him...him and his family had no problems they love me for me and not my past..funny thing is my husband was a virgin at first I was like um no u deserve someone like you..u have waited 33 years but he wouldn't take no for a answer so here we are 2 years later and still in love with a beautiful baby named alex..there r scam artists in every country not just egypt lol.good luck to all of u

Author MCSHANE64

Date Posted: 1/30/2015 8:01 AM

it really depends on how old u are and how old he is. they marry virgins. they invite European women to Egypt for sex only. google Egyptian men u will see. I know of a 50yr old british lady that went to egypyt married a 29yr old Egyptian married him islamically but when it turned out time to get married in England he backed out. apparently he already had a wife with one child and another on the way. theres even a facebook page called Egyptian men that have loved u wrong and a show in England on holiday love rats. if he works in the tourism industry that's really bad. and fyi orfi marriages are a shame in their country just legal paper so they can have sex. u cannot stay in a hotel in Egypt together without being married, the ones u meet on the net r usually after 1 of 3 things sex, visa or money or any combination of the three. good luck.

Author MagnumJoe

Date Posted: 1/30/2015 3:05 AM

Just a small correction:

Our culture has not been always in the dark ages about treating women.

As i mentioned earlier in this thread (or perhaps another? Can't remember), you western girls, tend to fall for the uneducated, immature, decomposed, insecure, ill-cultured, unstable, social climbing parasite majority of egyptian men.

And it's understandable because this kind of men will do anything to get what they want, even playing with a lady's emotions (which is disgusting), and also because they are truly the definite majority. Maybe like 95%.

And 40 years ago it wasn't the case, because education and means of culture for the majority of the people were still there. But now, no more.

And as i said earlier, too, that you need to weigh a man's worth through his career and background to be able to eliminate bigger probabilities of turning out to be an a-hole.

Do that, and you'll find an exceptional type of egyptian men :)

Author MagnumJoe

Date Posted: 1/30/2015 2:42 AM

Well chell,,,

You have to ask yourself one question.

Is he having an early material gain? Like having a working visa in your country?

This is the first sign to get skeptic.

It's a simple as that.

Take care.

Author chellz67

Date Posted: 1/29/2015 10:15 PM

well thanks for all of the comments….negative or otherwise:)…all input is greatly appreciated…and dancer's especially:)…sometimes i feel that if you don't take a chance on love…you may never find it…even if it means making stupid mistakes…lol….i have taken my chances with men before…only to be cheated on and taken for granted…this ain't my first rodeo with that:):P…i am approaching this scenario with caution…not only for the distance factor…but also for the fact that i am never sure of any man…you know that cliche…been hurt before…but i learned throughout my loveless and non-caring last 8 to 10 years of my 18 year marriage….and through health issues and being a cancer survivor:)!!…that life is way too short to spend it being unhappy and alone:(:(….thanks guys:):)

Author marcynabdou

Date Posted: 1/29/2015 9:17 PM

Lol that was suppose to say pregnant haha love Egypt and I love my egyptian beast ????

Author marcynabdou

Date Posted: 1/29/2015 9:14 PM

Not my husband as we are still together and he is in the states finally it took us 8 months and as soon as he got his green card he started working and is still working and supporting me and our son.. we have a little boy named alex because I got prenatal in alex :) ?...I first posted on here 2 years ago and like I said before not every egyptian is the same and not all of them r in the dark ages haha but that was funny Melissa :)

Author dancers

Date Posted: 1/29/2015 8:51 PM

Hi chellz67.......Usually no one really listens anyway and perhaps you won't either!!!! You will do what you want to do and perhaps you have a lesson to learn from this as all experiences..."good and bad" are learning lessons!!!! I love all Egyptian people and LOVE Egypt VERY MUCH and my SPECIAL Egyptian fiance died unexpectedly 2/22/2014 as to which I was devastated and miss him every moment of every day and night!!! I wish you the very best.....Egypt is the "MOTHER OF THE WORL" MABROUK (GOOD LUCK!!!)

Author melissa1984

Date Posted: 1/29/2015 8:48 PM

Keep reading. Most women on here have your story. Next comes the marry me NOW thing with them and downward slide to hell. If you think these guys are better than western men, think again. This culture is in the dark ages in how it treats women and it doesn't matter that he will seem like the exception. He won't be. You should be very skeptical about an Egyptian man and to be talking about living there part time before you have met him is delusional. He won't be able to get into the states, EVER, but he will enjoy your western income. So unless this guy went to oxford and majored in women's studies, you just have the same old same old. Don't think you are the exception which is what we all thought and EVERYONE falls in love with Egypt. Keep reading and get a grip, these guys are predators in sheeps clothing and yes they are charming. Sorry, but this is the truth.

Author chellz67

Date Posted: 1/29/2015 6:30 PM

hi all:)…i have been reading the posts here and i am a little skeptical…at the least…on having/continuing a relationship with my egyptian bf….just reading some of this stuff makes me cringe…lol…however….i do love this man and have been lucky to have him come into my life….yes….egyptian men…like no other…are very charming…and forthcoming…and appreciative…and doting….unlike any american man or other nationality of man that i have dated/talked to/been with….i do believe they are of a different breed:)….with that have being said….am i naive or just not well educated on how these men operate??….i know i have a close connection with this man..and he doesn't seem shady..and i talk to him everyday on Skype…twice daily…except when we are working...…details will follow if needed to help me with my questions…i am going to egypt to meet him for the first time in person this march….met him last september 2014 online on a dating/networking site…..i went to egypt last year on vacay and loved every minute of my stay…mostly traveling by myself also:)…so i am really looking forward to have another chance to see some more sights when i go this year:)….we have talked seriously about him coming here part time….and me over there part time….just haven't worked out any details as of yet…of course i want to get to know him better in person…and he told his family about me….and i will meet them when i am there:)….any advice from the egypt loving gurus who post on this thread??….it will be greatly appreciated:):)….michelle:)

Author marcynabdou

Date Posted: 1/17/2015 9:16 PM

So u did get married Chelsea that's awesome how r things me and abdou r doing great we have beautiful son Alexander :)

Author memomemo

Date Posted: 11/14/2014 9:36 AM

CasualCairo - thanks for replay ..u right and he try too to find a way ...but i want to know something ..when i check UK Embassy web site for visa price i found one price and when he sent questions about this he got other price ..very high ... i know its not only visa but diferent fees and etc but still seems surprisingly big difference...anyway ...just if u know site with more info about this or some other forums send me pls :) thank you again and have a nice weekend :)

Author marcynabdou

Date Posted: 10/26/2014 7:52 PM

Update me and abdou are still together we have a 5 month old now named alexander.abdou got to America one week before he was born and he was born on my birthday god has blessed us so much and I just wanted to share with you guys. He is working as soon as he got his green card and is now looking for bodybuilding sponsorship to pursue his dreams in that. So don't give up on love it is out there..it just is very rare to find it 7000 miles away and it be real hence that's why this thread is here haha..but it can happen look at us March will be 2 years we r married now :) and I have met a couple others it has happened to along the visa journey..so don't give up just be careful no matter where the man comes from lol have a great day friends

Author dancers

Date Posted: 10/26/2014 3:54 PM

All I can say (from my own experience....I am American....he....Egyptian)....is this.....LOVE DON'T PAY THE BILLS!!!!! I was the "ALLOWER" for TOOOOOOOOO LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Author Irma

Date Posted: 10/26/2014 1:05 PM

wise words; let him do the work !

Author CasualCairo

Date Posted: 10/26/2014 11:56 AM

Memo - Put the responsibility on HIM to find out this information. Do NOT do it for him. If he will do his own research and fill out the forms and stand in line at the appropriate Embassy and all of that, then he may be worth helping once he gets there, but take it as a sign that he is lazy and not real bright (that sounds tough, but it's sooooo true) if he won't do the leg work up front to make this happen. Its more to HIS benefit to get there than yours, so make him do the work. PLEASE! You won't regret it if you do..... well hopefully you won't still regret it if you do. :)

Author Irma

Date Posted: 10/26/2014 7:44 AM

it depends where you live Memo

Author memomemo

Date Posted: 10/20/2014 8:48 AM

hello :) im new here and read all with interes .thank you for sharing your stories and advices ..i want to ask if someone can help me ..i have a very good friend from egypt and i want to help him to move abroad but i cant find good information how to do that and how much will cost ..if someone can give me info i will be very thankful :) thank you in advance :) wish you wonderful new week

Author noturns

Date Posted: 10/20/2014 4:48 AM

chelsealk92
I am Christian married to a Egyptian man who is Muslim. There seems to be many answers to each question depending on who is speaking. But to answer your question.your "fiance" is right sort of. You can not have a religious ceremony because you are of different faiths BUT be sure that your civil ceremony is legitimate. Signing a form in a solicitors office is a convenient form of marriage (for the man) but it is not a legal marriage and not accepted when you are required to show proof of marriage in hotels or checkpoints. You can fill out the proper forms at your embassy in Cairo and then they will send you to have the marriage performed. OR you can have a civil wedding in a courthouse
Just a comment on life married to a muslim Egyptian....there are soooooo many differences from how you grew up......so many
Smile
noturns

Author Irma

Date Posted: 10/14/2014 9:01 AM

somebody is sending me private messages ; Johanna .......i wil answer in public......be transparant ....no all Dutch women i KNOW came back, unhappy.....i guess the women who are happy are not writing here. Please tell the happy stories

Author kay85

Date Posted: 8/23/2014 7:51 PM

Obviously just forget it. Say nice to have met you and leave it there. He sounds too forceful anyway, if he were in the uk I doubt you'd bother believe me. X

Author marie222

Date Posted: 8/23/2014 3:15 PM

hi becs i read your messages on the forum and just want to ask a few questions. i met an egytian man in sharm who claims he really like me. we talked for about a week in the hotel but he could not talk to me properly as he works there so asked me to meet him outside one night. i said ok but i explained that i didnt want a relationship or anything and that i just wanted to talk. as soon as i met him he took my hand and i was trying to get him to let go but he wouldnt. i actually was shocked as thought that holding hands in public wasnt allowed. then we went across the road and sat outside a bar and had a drink(just water as i didnt want achohol) then he tried kissing me and i thought what on earth is he doing . i said i did not come there for that. he was really sweet and we talked for a bit and then i said i want to go back to my hotel so i did and he went home. thing is i really like him and now im back in uk he has been calling me everyday asking me when im going back, what do you think of this situation?

Author kay85

Date Posted: 8/13/2014 5:16 AM

Hi
Thank you for taking the time to respond. I may not have made it clear but what we signed did take a few days and we did go through the ministry of justice etc. I have a copy of the paper with out thumb print and pics. I guess this is a more legal marriage :(
He messaged me out if the blue around 2 years ago saying he had ended it but I don't know how I can be sure. Is there no one that I can call ? No register that will say if the marriage is valid?
My current partner had never been to the pyramids and has said he'd like to at some point in his life but is now worried for me being there. I could contact his sister in law (she is polish) however I really want to avoid him contacting me if possible and I want to keep it as private as I can.

Author melodymckinley

Date Posted: 8/12/2014 8:12 PM

Pardon me, but I thought I would add something here. It seems to me from the information you shared so far, that you did not go through the process of a legal marriage. Such as, filing your marriage with the marriage court, going through the long process that can take many days, going to the Ministry of justice, getting a certified translation lawyer and stamped. If it was not done through a legal marriage court lawyer, a dowry or mahr was not payed, no oath was sworn by either of you, before the judge magistrate in the marriage court, and you mentioned there was no finger or thumb print or passport photos were submitted at the time of your marriage, then it sounds every bit like you did not have a legal marriage. Rather, it sounds like you had what is popularly called an ORFI or URFI marriage. Just barely legal enough to give him permission to have sexual relations with you, but without any of the financial responsibility that goes along with taking care of a real Wife. During the marriage, or after, should it end. My heart goes out to you for this deception that has been done to you. Just be wiser in all your future dealings with anyone, including your new potential intended, however nice he may be. If you found this Egyptian lover (for that is all he truly was under Egyptian family marriage law,) has only offered you an orfi marriage, you can be sure that if he has been deceiving you in one area, such as fidelity, it is likely he also was deceptive in other aspects as well. You are right to question and not trust his words. The tricky business with getting an orfi divorce, is that you may have to go back to the cleric or person that "married" you, and request divorce, and get it in writing. If you have any marriage papers from this orfi marriage, this will help. Orfi marriage is a messy, shady business, because orfi marriage is not a real or legal marriage. It is similar to what is known in most western countries as common law marriage. Without proper documentation and all legal procedures followed through, plus witnesses you can track down, it is very difficult to actually get a "real" divorce, as it was never a "real" marriage. As I mentioned, if you have documentation about your orfi marriage, and you can track down and locate the person who performed the marriage, then you may be able to get further documentation to proof you are not truly married. As embarrassing and expensive as this solution may sound, it may be the only way for you to get complete peace of mind. If you return to Egypt and are to booking a room in a hotel with a new Husband, or rent an apartment or villa, that requires marriage papers, as most of the respectable ones do, and have not been previously divorced, it is punishable by Egyptian law by imprisonment. I advice you not to remarry without being quite sure you are truly divorced from your first husband. I hope you get this worked out and can move on into your happy future, and possibly with someone who truly cares for you. Good Luck to you!

Author kay85

Date Posted: 8/12/2014 10:51 AM

He always lived in Egypt and I in the UK .. I don't think I even went back after the papers were done and I never declared married on anything here that I can recall .. I even went to my local vicar and he tried finding out how legit it was but couldn't find out much either way.

Author kay85

Date Posted: 8/12/2014 10:34 AM

Thank you so much for replying. I don't really know what the reporting out thing is but I didn't do anything else with any documents after leaving Cairo .. I didn't change my name or anything. I had to give in my passport and proof of christening etc when I was there and it took over a week to complete in Cairo. He basically was convinced if he married a European he would be exempt from army service and then able to get a passport . He said he did end it but like you say I don't trust him. I want peace of mind for myself and my partner that I can marry and even holiday in Egypt without any problems. The documents I have are the one in Arabic with out pics and thumb print and an English translated one.
Feel like this all happened a life time ago yet I'm still living with a worry and feel there's no one that can give me a definitive resolution.
Thanks again x

Author melissa1984

Date Posted: 8/12/2014 9:18 AM

Don't feel bad. This sting operation is big business and Egyptian men have it down to a fine science. Now about the stamps and embassy involvement. So you got married in Egypt and then went back to England? Where does the Egyptian live because if it is in Egypt he can end the marriage quickly but it would be hard to believe him plus who knows where he is? Did you ever report the marriage on your passport or anywhere else official in England? Yes, the embassies won't help you. Let me know about the reporting out thing and we can go from there. MB

Author kay85

Date Posted: 8/9/2014 3:51 PM

hi
I am a girl born and bred in the UK
I am desperately seeking information about marriage papers I signed with an ex Egyptian boyfriend. typical story of we met on a holiday etc to cut a long story short I found out he was seeing at least 1 other person so the relationship ended .. it has been at least 2 years since I had any contact with him and we never lived together. I did sign all the papers and get stamps from embassies in Cairo etc so I am worried this marriage may still be valid even though he said he sorted it. I am in a loving relationship and hope to actually marry this person in the future so I need to know this silly part of my past will not interfere with this. I just want to remove the doubt I have in my mind. I have tried in the past to contact embassies for information but get different info. Can anyone tell me who I need to speak to or how I can be certain these papers are no longer valid.? I have no contact information for the Egyptian.
thanks for your time

Author melissa1984

Date Posted: 1/13/2014 8:18 AM

Thank God you have a life elsewhere, so many are stuck in Egypt basically under house arrest. The culture supports him and using you and treating you badly are common forms of control. Is this guy from Luxor? Tourist places are the worst. Have you kicked him to the curb yet?

Date Posted: 9/4/2013 2:14 PM

Date Posted: 9/1/2013 11:22 AM

Author melissa1984

Date Posted: 9/1/2013 11:22 AM

Author Chelsealk92

Date Posted: 9/1/2013 6:34 AM

Thank you for you support Jessica and for sharing your lovely story. I do see and understand where the others are coming from but I speak the language he speaks perfect English and I have work waiting I don't worry for the things like alcohol and movies as I know all of this is possible to get and to see. I'm not going there on the whim of him taking care of me I have come back to the uk to earn money and save so ill have money to live for myself and I won't have to rely on him for everything. He comes from a very good respectable family who are lovely I have not met his mother or sisters but I have spoken with his sister on the phone and have met two of his nephews they all are very supportive of our relationship he has told them all about me an they can not wait to meet me and I think this is lovely considering I'm a English Catholic girl with tattoos and piercings and they have no problem with any of these facts and neither does he. He doesn't expect me to change my faith or beliefs. As I said before he owns his own business's and is just working in the tourist trade to make more money for his family back in Alex as he is the man of this family his father has re married so he provides for his mother and sisters. It's so nice to speak with someone who knows a little bit about this.

Author JessicaRafter

Date Posted: 8/31/2013 7:20 PM

I have been reading all this s... for far to long and cant ignore it now.

First off let me tell you my experience.

I have knownmy husband since we were like kids...met online through irc chat for sega dreamcast in 2001. We both were 16. We would talk everyday and over the years we spoke even when he went to saudi and anyone that is familar with the arab culture knows a girl just does not call a the boys house. His parents were ok with this but I did speak on several ocations to his mom and his brothers for years so his whole family knew who I was way before I met him in 2009...

His family were loveing caring and above everything openminded. He never asked me for money or to help leave egypt. There are some great guys there! True it is tho that itf you meet a guy in the tourism feild most likely he is there other than work...ie visa hunter. I lived in egypt for 2 years be4 I came back to the states. He never wanted to leave but the revolution made this too difficult to stay hence y we left.

You can a job in just about anything you want with a BS. Without a BS its harder but knowing english you can goto any school and teach conversational english and you will have the students sign up because you are a foreigner...
You get into the historical sites for like nothing if you are a legal resident or married to an egyptian you pay what they pay...just bring a copy of the marriage papers...if you see something you want and it costs too much to import it you can get it made...english movies are no problem...most theaters in the bigger cities will have the same showing in the regular english without subs...or they keep the movies as they are and cut out the nudies...and just have arabic subs...either way its not much different excite if your a girl you should never leave the house in shorts and a tank top and if you do go with a scarf around your neck atleast. Men will try to ask you for marriage right on the street and you just politly say no thank you and continue on your way.
If you truely like the guy you should just go and live there for a time become completely self sufficient and then if he is still into you make then you decide. Dont take the advice of someone who doesnt know about this place...besides you can buy liquor and beer and have it delivered or go to bars...and yes they do have bars!

Date Posted: 6/17/2013 2:05 AM

He's the teacher I am the student lol jus kiddin he is a mechanical engineer got his bachlors so proud of him was in the army very smart on computers to no work for me there I'm going to see my husband :) his parents very sick right now I pray they don't pass I don't know if he can handle it he already miss me so don't know how he would handle that n I can't go til august to be there for him so I jus pray they get well

Date Posted: 2/25/2013 8:44 AM

so its been about a year and 4 months since i first posted on this site.In feb 2012 mahmoud and i did the orfi marraige on valentines day. so heres my update. all is well. i still visit 3 times a year. love and trust is still there. ive been getting to know his good points and bad points and moodiness is one of his BAD points. otherwise i still feel hes the one for me but im happy at the moment with the way things are. havnt done a visit visa for him yet as hes always changing jobs or theres some problem so its no point doing the visa until we know we have everything ready. ive no intentions of living in egypt. and i do miss him when i have to come back home, but luckily im too busy to let it get to me too much. hope you are all ok and look forward to hearing more GOOD stories from you.

Author yazz1972

Date Posted: 2/25/2013 8:43 AM

Author Dd100

Date Posted: 2/24/2013 10:16 AM

I'm like u all! In the same situation with an egyptain man! He is everything I have ever wanted! But ask me if I trust him and the answer would be no! My heart is saying dont judge him as other bad egyptian men but its hard no to when u hear so much bad stories! Help

Author melissa1984

Date Posted: 12/14/2012 9:38 AM

Thanks for your honesty CC. I wrote a similar emal but cannot emphasize enough what a horrible move it would be. You have no idea what a nightmare you'd be putting them through not to mention yourself. I don't even think the courts would allow it if your husband disputed it.

Author yazz1972

Date Posted: 12/14/2012 8:44 AM

update. i first posted on here 10th nov 2011. so mahmoud and i are still going strong. miss him alot. went back to see him in nov 2012. But havnt done the visitors visa for him yet. he says hes not ready to come to london, even for a holiday! his sister is getting married in march 2013 and then he said he will be free to come. hes still got alot of worries and responsibilities for his family. but mabey its a good sign that he dosnt want to rush over here.... but boy, are all egyptian men moody!! he can be a right moody sod, but when i give it back to him, he appologises. apart from that, and the fact that he dosnt like my cooking! im still in love and all is cool. x

Author CasualCairo

Date Posted: 12/14/2012 5:24 AM

Further Deshara - DO NOT drag your kids in on this. They and their father do not deserve that. If you want to test the waters here and see if this thing works, you do it FOR YOU, and you leave the kids out of it. If it doesn't work (and you can tell from the responses here that the odds are against you) then there is NO reason why the kids should have been drug over here and had their lives any further disrupted than they already are by the initial divorce. I hope their father is willing to take them while you try this for yourself, if you must. If not, then please put the children first and your need/desires/whatever for a boyfriend/husband/man in your life second. You can take care of that 20 years from now when the kids are grown up, if a better solution for you doesn't come up at home sometime.
Again, sorry to be so harsh, but I've seen mothers do this to their kids over the years I've lived here and it ALWAYS ends up bad. I have yet to find one story where a mother with her children moved to Egypt from a western country to marry some Egyptian and things worked out well. IF anyone knows even one story where the couple has been together (at least) 5 years, please share it.

Author CasualCairo

Date Posted: 12/14/2012 5:14 AM

Bottom line - Don't marry someone you only know over the Internet and know NOTHING about his culture. He will say anything to get what he wants....especially these days post revolution. If you think you are in love, come and live here for a minimum of a year to see how things go and how well you like the place.
To say "maybe he will be willing to move here (ie UK or USA)" is rediculous! I'm sorry to be so harsh, but OF COURSE he is willing to move there. That is why he is courting you! The thing neither of you get is that the gov't of the USA or the UK is NOT going to make it easy for you to get him there. There are lines of women just like you standing outside the Embassies crying their eyes out, wondering why the embassy people are so mean and won't let their boyfriend (fiance or even husband) just go to their country with them. Please come spend some time watching all these women with their boyfriends and you will see why the governments aren't letting them all go. In the end, you should be prepared to live in Egypt. Egypt is going to be more open to letting you live here than your country is going to be to letting him go live there.... and that might change too with the current government. Hope not, but it could happen. Best to wait and see what is going to happen.
Sorry to break your heart on this subject but it has to be said.
SORRY!

Author Becs1975

Date Posted: 12/13/2012 8:59 PM

Deshara please read my post a few places up...
Life in Egypt is incredibly hard, I am 32 and would like children soon and this is one of the many reasons I don't wish to stay in Egypt.. In my opinion there is no future for them.
My bf was very keen to marry within weeks of meeting but I have held off and boy I am glad I did... He is still very sweet and romantic but eventually he will try to chance your religion, clothes, and stop you socialising.. It all happens gradually.. The culture differences are huge you have no idea... And even if he came to england he is still Muslim so would bring his very very strong beliefs and when your married things will change even more!!
No matter what they tell you in the beginning eventually things start to change and maybe you don't realise.

I agree it is hard, I still love him and scared I am throwing away my true love, but I know deep down if I marry I will give up all my indepence and so many values and believe me life here is lonely and women are less valued that is a fact..
Please think seriously.. And I am just talking about cultural differences here never mind the thousands of scams I see with my own eyes of men getting women to get married so they can leave Egypt to then only leave when the visa is approved.. The most loved up sincere men do a runner with money etc.. I am not saying this is yr case as I don't know the story but believe me living and working here is not all people think it is.. For sure if I had children I would want to provide the best I could and believe me that's not here for most people!!
I wish you luck and feel free to ask anything :-) I am not miss experienced but have lived the romantic love story and now sorting stuff to leave after 1 year living in Egypt.. But believe me if I was married it would be almost impossible to leave...!!!!!

Author Deshara0628

Date Posted: 12/13/2012 5:26 PM

I don't know if I would be willing to move with my two kids there because of the cultural differences but maybe he could come here. Thank you for responding by the way. I guess only time will tell if he would be willing to move here instead. I don't think I could take my kids away from their father....this is so complicated. I wish there was an easier way to make things easier because I truly love this man.

Author melissa1984

Date Posted: 12/13/2012 9:07 AM

if you want the truth, it is on this site? You hae no idea how many rights you would be giving up if you marry him? Egypt is a great place but not so much for women. The
way that you'd be living re standard of living is low. just because you love someone does not mean that you change your whole life, culture, etc. and then drag your kids into it. You need to step back, get more information and realize that egyptians marry at the drop of a hat and it is likely that you are entering
into a nightmare and taking your kids along for the ride, all in the name of love. Be smart and rethink this.

Author Deshara0628

Date Posted: 12/12/2012 11:10 PM

Hello, I'm new to this forum. I want true and honest opnions. I have met this Egyptian man online and he wants us to marry. I have 2 children from a previous relationship that ended a few years back. I'm a christian woman and he is islamic. He knows all this, my question is though, how hard is it to be accepted in the Egyptian culture as far as me already having 2 kids. I love him so much and he loves me. He knows that I have only been with the kids father and that I am different. I don't date different men or anything like that, though I'm obviously not a virgin, I consider myself a good woman enough for him. Any thoughts on this would be helpful, thanks.

Author Becs1975

Date Posted: 12/9/2012 1:22 PM

Thanks casual Cairo.. And your right my nightmare was no where near as bad as it could have been..

I recommend anyone thinking of marrying your "true love" live in Egypt over 6 months as the true colours sure start to show and then you can make your own informed decision as I have done.

I am smart and intelligent and have tried to make it work, but seemingly it's not enough for me. I would never get married so quickly in the uk so decided not to rush it here.. And luckily I didn't..

Please girls think very hard, for some you may be fine but give yourself time.

It really is not an easy life..

Thanks again :-)

Author CasualCairo

Date Posted: 12/9/2012 11:17 AM

Thank you for your insight Becs. You have lived the romance and the nightmare it sounds like. Your nightmare is mild compared to what it could have been, but it's great to hear from someone that was smart enough NOT to get married and take it that far for what they misinterpreted as "real love" that would last forever. You tried it and can say it is not the right move for most. You need to be a really special person for it to work and even then it's good to live here a while and see if Egypt is right for you with or without a man involved. For me, the country itself was enough and I'm happy to live here, but have NO desire for the drama marriage to an Egyptian will bring into your life.

Author Becs1975

Date Posted: 12/9/2012 4:21 AM

Hi boudica it seems we have similar stories you are very much in love but the country and cultures are worlds apart from our own. I see you are married so things there are difficult for you and even harder living in Alex which is why I could never live in Cairo! In sharm there are at least more westerners but most give us a bad name sleeping with every Tom dick and Harry!! And most are used and abused for sex and money!! I am in love and it will no doubt break my heart to leave him but I have decided I have to do this.. Life is just not enjoyable anymore and as Melissa told me in previous post this is only one aspect.. I used to have a good job, good money, lots of friends, ambition. I have travelled the world seen lots of amazing things.. But now my day to day life consists of staying in the house not having any social life., being leered at 24/7 by other men who clearly just think i am easy, being ripped off in supermarkets( even happens when we are together as they think i am just on holiday, so have money!!) the isolation you feel as all his friends Egyptian and of course family members when they are all speaking you sit there feeling lost.. As it's obvious not all the translation is given to me of the conversation... The love and romance swept me off my feet but the reality is. Big eye opener..

So please understand I am not slating Egyptians of course there are good and bad, and I believe mine is good but I cannot change his beliefs or culture, his strong opinion of what is right and wrong or how women indeed are seen here!! I often hear from him " I cam because I am a man" makes me angry!!

I am thankful I never married, and given the feedback and my gut feeling I won't.. Which now I know means I can't stay here... I can't waste my life if I am not to marry or have children with him.. I want more for myself and my future children... It's a hard decision but I have to be strong so wish me luck!! :-)

Author Becs1975

Date Posted: 12/9/2012 1:46 AM

Thanks both Melissa and casual Cairo for your responses, they are both helpful and informative.
I actually agree completely with what you have said and know deep down what i have to do. I understand how things may change for the worse now the brotherhood are in power and for sure this is bad for me.. I have seen changes in my man in the past year( as you say this is not long) and for sure these will get worse and my fear was it would be a horrible life once I marry.
I have seen some marriages even here in sharm work.. With genuine kind Muslim people however i feel I am too independent and strong willed to give up all my life for love.. As Melissa said a husband is just 1 aspect which touched my heart.. I do love him lots but also love life which I feel I am missing out on.

I am 32 yrs old so no spring chicken but not over the hill(just yet) and my main worry was if I stick here another few years I will miss out on too much.

Western women of course are looked down upon and I feel that every day I live here and I feel I have lost some of my confidence already, I enjoy working but as you said mainly so I can fill some void I suppose..

It will be hard I know, I was married before in the uk for 6 years until he cheated but I'm not bitter it's just life but before this marriage was equal and the fact I never had doubts then but have massive ones now I suppose I answer my own question, but I felt compelled to get some honest in-biased views.. So I thank you.

My main concern was also future children as I didn't see much of s social aspect for them, or good schooling or healthcare, although my 1 friend here married for 5 yrs with Egyptian tried to convince me otherwise I just didn't see it.. I see my brother in the uk give his daughter so much ( not in terms of materialistic things).
Now I just have to be brave and go!!
Thanks again :-)

Author melissa1984

Date Posted: 12/8/2012 8:56 AM

I agree with Casual
Cairo. This is not to say that so many of the Egyptians I have met are absolutely wonderful and the overall culture is embracing even of us Christians. In fact Egypt feels like home to me in so many ways, but I learned over many years that marrying an Egyptian is very different from dating one. Don't forget
either, that your life has many components and
a husband is only a piece to the puzzle of a balanced and full life. You know deep down what the answer is. Be honest with yourself and remember that life in a resort town, allows for a fantasy world that will drift away over time.

Author CasualCairo

Date Posted: 12/8/2012 2:24 AM

I think melissa1984 has gone a bit OTT in her response, but I tend to agree with her.
I think you have to make up your own mind. I have known a few foreign women that have married Egyptians and are happy, but what I kept thinking about while reading her response is the political situation we currently have in Egypt. If she had such a bad experience back under the Mubarak regime, consider how much worse it might be now under the Muslim Brotherhood or could be if they get the constitution they are working to get. Women and children will have fewer rights than they did under the old regime.
If it were me, I would use that as an excuse to hold off on getting married. There should be NO HURRY to marry, and if he can't understand your concerns on that front, he isn't the right guy for you. And if you aren't concerned about that, then you may as well convert to Islam, or you aren't mature enough to consider such a marriage.
If he won't allow you to go out with friends alone with out him now, it won't change, probably. It is more than him just being "jealous". Consider the preconceived ideas we Western women have about Arab-Muslim men. The same holds true of them having preconceived ideas about us. I think it may take more than a year of being together to completely dispell those ideas. Like melissa1984 is validating everything we've ever heard about the men, so are his friends probably validating everything about Western women to him - maybe not by saying anything, but by sleeping with the women on one night stands and playing the game. Sharm would be a difficult place to get away from that, I imagine. The whole place is so full of players....and Western women living up to our reputation too. How can you not be touched by it?

Good luck in making your decision, but keep in mind that if you choose to marry him, #1 - NEVER give him your passport and #2 it might be harder to change your mind a year down the road than you considered. I don't know how old you are, but I bet you have time to wait.

Author melissa1984

Date Posted: 12/7/2012 10:13 AM

Don't marry him. You have no idea how many rights you will be giving up and the embassy won't help you. Once you marry him, he owns you and the kids. You cannot leave the country without his permission. They are very jealous, why else do the women wear covers? Because the men don't want them to be seen. And yes you will be very lonely. These men have a tradition of wanting the women to stay in the house and focused only on them and once you marry him it will be far worse because you cannot just up and leave. Talk about loney and isolated. And how about your work....are you working because one person can never fill the void of community and needing to have stimulating relationships and work. I promise you that this will be the worst mistake you have ever made and everything is on the line. I went through this....this is a male dominated culture and owning your wife is part of the deal. Unless you are ok with being owned and isolated you will be miserable and
you cannot leave the country without his permission. The cultures are vastly different and cannot be rectified for most of us. Good luck. Do what is right for YOU and pay attention to the warning signs which will become far worse after you are married. Melissa

Author Becs1975

Date Posted: 12/7/2012 5:20 AM

am with an Egyptian who I met 1 year ago. I made the big move of giving up my job in the uk and leaving my friends and family for the man I love. I have lived in sharm for 1 year now and have to say I am convinced he is 100% genuine.. He treats me really well, I have never given him a penny and he would do anything for me.. I have been to Cairo and met his family a few times and they are all lovely.. My dilemma is I love him lots however I am struggling with a few things.. He gets very jealous if i talk to any men or want to do normal western things like go out with friends ( which is rare as I have very few!!) which makes me feel very isolated.. I see him every day and every night, he never leaves my side so I know he is not up to no good as neither am I.. I just miss normal interaction which makes me question my future and future of potential children... Maybe I was naive to the huge cultural and religious differences.. He makes comment to change my religion but doesn't push it.. He wants to marry in Cairo in a few months.. I am very undecided between love and my long term happiness.. Help and advice please :-)

Author dreamsofcreation

Date Posted: 10/21/2012 6:07 PM

Hi Irma,
I like to plan ahead so nothing will be taking place in a hurry, do not worry dear.
Will you be going to Cairo with friends from your country?
Mirree x

Author Irma

Date Posted: 10/21/2012 11:53 AM

you wrote "smarter to buy my own apartment in Egypt" ; well thats not easy at all, so do not do it in your first time in Egypt, and if you have; do you think he will be able to stay in your appartment: that is "forbidden"when you are not married

Author dreamsofcreation

Date Posted: 10/21/2012 2:50 AM

Thanx Boudica,
That is so good to know also, because he has talked about marriage and living in Egypt, but I was thinking it would be smarter to buy my own apartment in Egypt and live away from the family, that way he can come and visit me to get away from family and work. And it would mean I can still have my own freedom. Yes foreigners can be seen as outsiders, but if you play your cards right, I am sure you find a smart way to create a better situation so that your love is not cramped. I understand this because this is something that I do not want if I decide to take the relationship further. I am already planning ahead so that I have the best possible outcome for myself and my love. Love needs to breathe and have lots of natural sunlight and fresh air, to feel comfortable and nurtured.
Mirree x

Author dreamsofcreation

Date Posted: 10/21/2012 2:43 AM

Thanx Melissa,
I won't be signing any contracts until I know every little detail because I am well aware of the money and sex to get ahead bull**** that some guys play, I've learnt the hard way too, here in my own country in Australia. But I must say I don't regret it because it has taught me to respect myself more and put myself 1st always and that has really changed me to attract a better person. I leave on the 1st of December, I'd loved to catch up with some girlfriends in Cairo, especially anyone already living there, its always so nice to get a woman's perspective on things.
Ciao Mirree x

Author melissa1984

Date Posted: 10/16/2012 10:50 PM

I agree with everything you are saying. Can you move into your own place? Melissa

Author boudica

Date Posted: 10/16/2012 11:04 AM

Hi, I have been living and working in Alexandria for one year now. My fiance is great and i love him to bits. His love for me I am sure of as well. He had never once asked me for money. However, I love with him and his parents and it is very very hard. The cultural differences are enormous. His parents are very good to me, not a problem there, but we are not even allowed to hold hands,let alone being alone together. I do not know how long I can still live this type of life. My love for him keeps me here, but I am not happy. You be very, very, very careful. No matter what his friends or family might say to you, you are still not Egyptian and that counts against you. Believe me. I know

Author melissa1984

Date Posted: 10/16/2012 8:29 AM

Just as long as you stay wary, this could be ok. Don't sign anything. Remember all contracts are binding and benefit the man. It took me years to understand that most of the men want a financial boost up and easy sex. The religious and cultural differences are HUGE and most women live terrible lives (in upper egypt especially). Life is far better in your country and while I love Egypt, men and women are not equal in this country, even amongst the educated.
And the religious differences and language barriers create isolation for many foreigners. Stay honest with yourself and follow your intuition. If he ever asks for money or tries to push you about anything, be wary. Best of luck, Melissa p.s. remember words are cheap

Author dreamsofcreation

Date Posted: 10/14/2012 7:09 AM

Hi Irma,
I will be coming from Australia and staying in Cairo for the month, I do not have any friends in Egypt, I am open to meet honest friends for a chat and coffee.
Mirree x

Author Irma

Date Posted: 10/14/2012 6:07 AM

give him a change ánd take care. I am Dutch and planning te be in Egypt from 2- 12 december. Where will you be in Egypt? Do you have friends in Egypt from your own country? Just take care !!

Author dreamsofcreation

Date Posted: 10/14/2012 3:38 AM

Hi everyone,
I'm new to the forum and wanted to share my story too. I met an Egyptian 28 male 1st September over the internet, I am 35 in Oz, I did not think much 1st until he began email me everyday and then lead to calling me everyday. He did not ask for anything other than to see me everyday on skype. (And I do not use Skype, but thought would see where it goes). But asked to meet me and travel to him in December to and he would pay for everything when I arrive for 1 month. I just pay for the trip over there from Oz and back. He asked for me to give him a chance because I am very cautious have read alot on the internet and had my fair share of battles in love, and are a smart woman. So I agreed with giving him a chance and will go to meet him in December. So although its a scary thing I feel something different about him and have found him to be genuine so far, so in saying this I really want to take my time and really make sure that this is the real thing. I will let you know how my trip goes in December, I am due to arrive 1st December although he wanted me to visit him this month, I said December is better so I will keep you posted. I agree about the stories on here and would like to thank everyone for your blogs, good and bad. It helps me alot to see the bigger picture and the love the romantic love stories as I am a true romantic at heart, I wish you all the very best in love.
Mirree x

Author peggers

Date Posted: 10/5/2012 9:13 PM

firstly im so glad finding this thread, im currently living and working in egypt hurghada, the purpose of my move here was for work and experience. After hearing all the horror stories of Egyptian husbands etc. i came out here keeping myself to myself and not evening giving anybody the chance. Sometimes you come across people that just blow your mind away and thats what happened to me when i met ahmed he also worked in the same hotel i was working in. Me being english im a friendly person and like to make a effort with people which i did and i became such good friends with ahmed, we met in coffee shops, shopping etc. never asked for anything, continued to be such good friends, 1 year down the line im currently engaged to be married, his family are lovely and he has the acceptance from my family also. Yes we both come from completely different cultures and backgrounds and sometimes things clash but you just take every step as it comes, the most important thing is we both understand each others views and opinions. Work and living is hard in egypt, we both are on very low salary's and the cost of living does break the bank a little but we get by, we love each and thats how we get through it. My family invited for us both to come to the UK for christmas (thats right my family, not me) and to pay for our tickets as a gift, me and ahmed both spoke and we agreed this is something we would both love to do but right now money is hard for us, so we agreed we would continue to save money and apply for his visiting visa perhaps in the new year. I wouldnt change anything for the world, i have my marriage and a visit to England to look forward too, wish me luck!
good luck to you also!

Author boudica

Date Posted: 4/29/2012 3:09 PM

If it is okay with your fiance then I would not mind adding you Ayman. All the best of luck to you guys with the wedding. Let me know how all went.

Author juanmegel

Date Posted: 4/28/2012 5:27 PM

you are welcome body
ayman ayman no problem :)

do you have facebook account add me
make search
[email protected]

Author boudica

Date Posted: 4/27/2012 6:13 PM

hi Ahmed ur girlfriend called u ayman from luck though and her description of u is the same as my friend Ayman from the same area, my mistake sorry......

Author juanmegel

Date Posted: 4/26/2012 9:35 PM

Greet boudica ,..
but i'm not Ayman i'm Ahmed it's diffrent more y, a, nd n
and i don't know him but anyway thank you for compilmo
and really want to meet you and sit wz u and talk 2 u
coz i see you are friendly
want is this your real name bodica

Author boudica

Date Posted: 4/26/2012 1:14 PM

Hi there! Good luck to you and Ayman. I do know an Ayman from Luxor ..... sounds a lot like him and his situation. Maybe the same guy? lol would that not be something. Tell me more about YOUR Ayman. Would be great if it is the same guy ... we could all meet?

Author boudica

Date Posted: 4/26/2012 12:59 PM

Hi. Congratulations and good luck to both of you. I got married to my husband 5 months ago and live in Alexandria. Mine is a success story as we truly love each other very much and are very happy. My husband is a gem and will do anything for his wife. Yes, there are a lot of scam artists and if a western woman is not careful she will be taken in. Just take care and be sure his family also accepts you. Remember eastern men are very close to their mothers and that is not a bad thing but, be sure you can handle that. Here's wishing you all the best for lifelong happiness. Aisha

Author ruthgaunt

Date Posted: 4/24/2012 6:39 AM

I am so glad I have found this thread.

Everyone around me says they 'hope' all goes well for me and Ayman, but they all believe that it will turn into one of the disaster stories - it is so good to hear that there are good outcomes too.

One thing I am sure of is that he is not just after a visa - he doesn't want to walk away from his role as head of his family in Egypt - his mother, brother and 3 sisters depend on him - I have no idea what happened to the dad.

He knows I am poor by UK standards - I have no property or savings - so if he is after money he is out of luck.

I am going on my gut instinct - when I am with him we communicate without needing to talk, I feel safe, loved and cherished.

I fly out to Luxor to marry him in 15 days - this is going to be the hardest thing to do as I leave my 4 grown up (ish) children here. My daughter is trying to be supportive but it is breaking her heart too. My sons don't seem to mind!

I have converted to Islam, and this has helped me a great deal - I feel at peace with my decision and in-shh-allah all will be well.

Wish me luck . . .

Author Hettie

Date Posted: 4/21/2012 4:08 AM

Some stories are true, but not all men are like that.
Please note if you buy a house, let translate everything and make sure the contract on your name.
I am whit my Egyptian husband now for 4 years, unfortunately I can not live in Egypt.
I wish you much happiness and wisdom.

Greetings Hettie

Author ruthgaunt

Date Posted: 4/20/2012 10:55 AM

I am doing it too.

I met my man whilst I was on holiday - I fly out on 9th May to marry him.

I have heard all the scare stories but I would rather regret doing this than not doing it.

I am frightened - I am leaving my 4 grown up children here in the UK and I will miss them sooooo much but I have been single for too long.

Wish me luck! If any of you are in Luxor get in touch!

Author Joabdalla

Date Posted: 2/28/2012 8:53 AM

Hi

I posted some info to you last week but it seems to have got lost in cyber space !!

To be successful applying for a visitor visa for someone that is in a relationship you need to prove that he has links back to his own country . Also a letter from his employer giving him permission to take time off work which should include his expected date he is to return to work .

Any letters from his family members would also help with the content expressing their acceptance of his visit and the purpose of it .

Any bank statements or official documents showing any funds he has or land he owns in his name would be useful but if not as long as you can prove you have the means to support him on his holiday would be fine . Include any photos of your house .

There is a question on the application form which states who will pay for your trip ! Just answer honestly if you are paying and include the details of where he will be staying in your letter .

If your children know of this relationship then ask them to write a letter also explaining that they would love to meet him .

In your letter of invitation start it with dear British Embassy ... I would like you to consider issuing .....bla bla ...with a visitor visa to visit me in the Uk for the purpose of a holiday ...... Then continue on with your story , I would be as honest as possible in your letter .

Just a reminder any documents that he provides needs to be translated into English alongside the original .

Your pay as you go phone can be requested as a statement it costs around £10 all you have to do is phone customer services and they will advise you ... Think you have to request it in writing !

Print off some screen shots if you chatting online if you use a web can !

Basically what they are looking for when they issue a visitor visa is the likely hood that he will return back to Egypt . The visa is for a min of 6 months but as long as he can prove his ties back to his country they should have no reasons to refuse .

We was refused a visitor visa on the grounds of us having a genuine relationship and the face we didn't provide any documents that proved he would return . So the next one we applied for was a fiancé visa which they couldn't very well refuse as they had already admitted that our relationship was genuine !!

If you need any more advice please don't hesitate to contact me xx Jo xx

Author yazz1972

Date Posted: 2/28/2012 8:21 AM

hi everyone. an update and some advice needed. so i went back to see my egyptian friend on feb 14th 2012. signed a contract so we could be together and left on 21st feb. well what can i say, i had a fantastic time. very emotional goodbye for both of us. hes a practising muslim as am i, he didnt leave my side for the 8 days only to go to the mosque on friday. loved up, yes. hes respectfull, can be moody but thats nothing compared to what ive been through in the past. he has been very reluctant to come to london for a holiday. i had to explain why i couldnt keep comming back to egypt, due to work ect. in the end i had to ask his uncle if mahmoud can come to london. he said no then i explained it would just be for 1 week, he then agreed. mahmoud would have said yes anyway. ok everyone is telling him how its soooo hard to get a visitors visa, hes realy put off and worried about it. ive got togather my bank statements, wage slips, house documents and copy of my passport. i know i have to write a letter of invitation but im not sure how detailed this should be. do i have to prove that weve met, that weve txted? i have a pay as you go phone so cant show them any bills that ive called him. also we met in oct 2011, is that too short a time to be trying to get a visa for him? do i need to send anything else. also, he never asked me for anything. after 4 days of spending his money on me, i just knew he had run out as he didnt want to go out anymore. lol! but i took over from there. i felt we should look after each other. not all on him and not all on me. hes a decent man and i love him, and miss him way too much. i wake up sad every day as i dont know when il see him again or if his visa will be refused. i feel kind of lost at the moment. can anyone give me some advice on the visa application. do you know why so many egyptians get turned down. and what i could do to have the best possible chance of getting the visa for him. hes getting his papers ready aswell. i only need him to come for a week. then il go back and see him in egypt. thanks so much everyone,

Author Joabdalla

Date Posted: 2/20/2012 8:37 AM

Hi Yazz .. I have been reading in this forum for a few weeks now but never felt the need to register until I read your post .

Im an English British Christan who also met my Hubby in Egypt .
I'm sick to death of reading the horror disaster stories of relationships between Egyptians Men and European women .

Just to give you a brief background , I met him whilst I was separated from my first husband and I was on holiday with my mum , dad , my two girls and our very close friends . My hubby was drawn to the fact that we were a very close family and shared values of family life . We kept in touch and developed a huge friendship that built into something I will never be able to describe in words.

Over 1 year I travelled back and forth , visiting his family was a big issue for us as they initially had massive reservations about him marrying out of his culture and religion but once they met me and understood that I had good intentions and didn't just want him for fun they welcomed me with open arms .

We decided to get married quite early in in the relationship, the problem was all the red tape and legal stuff to arrange and to ultimately make a decision where to get married . It was important to my family for us to get married in the Uk so we made all the arrangements and we made the huge decision to live permanatly in the uk .

Contrary to popular belief not all Egyptian men want a visa and to leave Egypt and it was heartbreaking for us as a family to say goodbye to his family . Just because they are men and live in sometimes near poverty conditions does not help when a true Egyptian man has to leave his mother and grandmother :-( that's a day I will never forget .

We were married 3 weeks later in my church but the day was marred with a little sadness as half of our family were missing ... People seem to forget these sacrifices that these Egyptian men have to do when they emigrate to a different country with not one family member at their wedding :-(

Anyway we have been happily married in the uk for over 2 years now the chemistry that we felt when we first met is still there , he's taken on the perfect role to my two girls as a step dad and they totally all adore each other ...so up to now you have a success story at last !!!!!

The one bit of advice I would give you and it's got nothing to do with money it's prepare yourself for each time you visit to have your heart ripped out at the airport .. It's a long flight home :-( please let me know how you get on and I wish you luck happiness in your future with your soul mate xxx

Author yazz1972

Date Posted: 12/6/2011 7:58 AM

thank you marro.
all is still good so far. im going in february. actually hed rather i go to egypt to live, but i wouldnt untill i retire and my children are settled. so if it goes well i prob will get him to come over for a holiday first and see how it goes.

Author Marro

Date Posted: 12/5/2011 6:15 PM

Dear Yazz

i am egyptian male , and i am familiar with the culture , and i can say you found a good one , as he did not look for making love with you. and i suggest you can go forward with the relation,
However, he will be thinking of you helping him to move with you to uk , and he can find job there. and there will be the real test for your love, is it going to syurvive for long time or not!!!
i think it is a normal relation between a man and a woman regardless the money or nationality and as long as you are attracted you will have all the honey.

Best Wishes
But

Author yazz1972

Date Posted: 11/12/2011 12:45 PM

hi boudica,

sounds like you found a good one. And its good to hear positive replies. congratulations for december. please keep me posted if you can. i wouldnt be able to move to egypt, mabey when i retire if me and mahmoud are together, but i couldnt leave my girls for a long time yet. although i think its hard for the egyptians to come over to the uk, but that would be ideal. theres me thinking way ahead of myself, but i like to know whats what. Youre very brave leaving SA though, you two must realy be in love. thank you again for the reply.
yasmeen

Author boudica

Date Posted: 11/11/2011 5:41 PM

Totally agree with you. I am from SA and my fiance from Alex. We have been together now for a few years and plan to be married in December . I am moving to Alex on December 4th. We are very much in love and i would not trade him for all the gold in Fort Knox.. Moh has never once asked me for money or asked me to pay for anything at all. I have a daughter of 22 yrs and he actualy asked me to sign my properties over to her as he wants to support me as he feels that is the man's 'job' so to speak. Yes, it is going to be hard living for the first couple of months, I realise that much, but am ready and prepared to do all to ensure our happiness. My only one big fear is now to find myself a job in Alex! lol

Author RaheliOmSarah

Date Posted: 11/11/2011 10:13 AM

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11/10/2011 16:40

trust me when I tell u that your entire story could be my story...except I met my Egyptian on the tram. Yes it can work out with you and him...there are a few,and I mean a few honest sincere Egyptian men that can really make great husbands. I am an American Muslim who married my Egyptian husband not too long ago after going back and forth for 2 years...finally I moved to Alex to be with him...life is too short and you will always be asking yourself What if? so,I say..give it an honest chance with him..Good luck

I moved this to the correct thread, it was on the next one about coming to cairo...

Author yazz1972

Date Posted: 11/11/2011 6:14 AM

update. spoke on the phone last night. he never mentions money so i wanted to ask a leading question. i asked how much do you earn in a month mahmoud? he replied. i earn enough habibi, dont worry, when you come i will look after you. so i though ahhh how sweet, but i told him we look after each other. then there was no more talk about money. i must say his reply pleased me and i believe it was genuine. thanks to all the replies, it realy helps.

Author yazz1972

Date Posted: 11/11/2011 6:06 AM

racheli, thankyou so much

Author RaheliOmSarah

Date Posted: 11/10/2011 4:32 PM

Every man and woman is unique, in Egypt as well as the rest of the world. I am married to a younger Egyptian man, from a wonderful family, who all love and respect me and treat me like a queen. The thing is, we knew each other for 5 years before we got married. During that time, he went to Saudi Arabia, and worked very hard, sacrificing much for money to give his sister a nice wedding and good dowry, and for our wedding and honeymoon time together sightseeing and vacation. He is educated though, very well with a Master's Degree and Post graduate diploma.
My daughter's father died when she was a baby, and Medo (my husband) has taken on the role of father, and although Islam usually doesn't allow for adoption of children, changing their name etc., he is willing to do that if she so chooses. He ALWAYS supports us, in every way. Financially, emotionally and generously. He works hard, and as the eldest son (his family are very traditional Egyptians and good Muslims), he supports his parents, and my mother who is elderly and widowed. Although he and I have an even greater age ratio than you (I'm older), it doesn't matter to him, nor to his family at all!

The prophet Mohamed, PBUH married a woman 25 years his senior. She was his only wife, and I'm sure they had genuine love between them for their entire marriage of 25+ years.
If a man is a good, genuine Arab, according to TRADITIONAL standards, he will be an excellent husband, as mine is! He, and his entire extended family, have become beloved members of my extended family here. My Egyptian family is kind, loving to a fault, and although much poorer than some, and my m-i-l is illiterate, they are sooo generous with my daughter, whom they love and claim as their own.

I'm Jewish, and my husband and inlaws all have respect for our religion and traditions, because we are 'people of the book'. I was married to an American for 5 years before, and there is NOOOOO comparison.

Medo is an Arab man, a genuine man. My daughter and I met (now) our whole family there, 4 years before we married. We had a big traditional Egyptian wedding, after the Henna party.

After that, he worked in Saudi Arabia for 3 years (a necessary sacrifice for us so that he could fulfill all of his family obligations, we had a legal "wedding contract" signed in Cairo, before a Judge in the Marriage It's the only marriage accepted by the American govt. Standardized, if you will, to reduce the fraudulent "visa weddings".
Many years ago, when we first met, I must admit to having been skeptical, because of the difference in our ages, religions, and cultures. Every case is different, and actions speak louder than words!!

Just be sure you don't ever try to "lie to yourself" or "make justifications" for any of your gut ( previously typo'd "guy") instinct! I did that with my previous (American) husband, and ended up having a very challenging, not-so-good marriage. There are good people, and bad people in EVERY race and culture. If you trust your own judgment, don't worry about anyone else and their situation. Just be honest with yourself, and when you meet the "right man" from ANY race/culture, enjoy your life together!
OF COURSE, there is a lot of room for misunderstandings of different culture, customs and traditions and the first years of getting to know one another can be challenging!! HOWEVER, if you BOTH have self-respect, and respect for one another, you'll grow all the closer for having learned to understand!
I wish you all the best!!!
Racheli om Sarah

Author Doddy

Date Posted: 11/10/2011 1:53 PM

Hi there, I'm a British/Egyptian and I have been married to my English wife for 12 years. I also have number of Egyptian friends are or have been married to British women for considerable period of time. I have never asked my wife for money, I work hard to provide good level of living for my wife and my child. The majority of friend also are hard workers and they take well care of their families. I meet my wife in the United State, and all my friends have meet their wifes here in the UK or in the USA.
Your story is very familiar to me, I have heard number of similar stories back home in Egypt and here in the UK. In addition, I know number of Egyptian guys here in the Uk were married to forign women in Sharm and Luxor. Very few of these guys continued in their marriages. They have used these venerable women as a bridge to come to the UK. Neither myself nor anyone else could tell you what will happen in the future, however, from where your story has begun I could tell you that it's a very similar story what I previously heard. Be careful and just consider people's advice. Good luck

Author yazz1972

Date Posted: 11/10/2011 10:10 AM

by the way, hes 30 and im 37. and yes i posted that story as i have doubts after reading disaster after disaster. initail thoughts please.

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