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Submissive Pinays

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Tsmslf
8/15/2019 16:12 EST

Although not an expat yet, I've visited a few times and have had some personal friendships. I've noticed an unusual amount of submissive conduct among these lovely ladies and wonder if it's standard or I've just had a streak.

I've noticed it in general behavior as well as intimate behavior. I have found it too in a couple of Pinays who are in California, one for 10 years.

Is your experience similar?

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mattinnorfolk
8/15/2019 16:46 EST

I am closely following this post :-) I can always use a more education .

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darkfader24
8/15/2019 16:59 EST

Tsmslf - I work with a number of Pinays - born and raised here in Central California - and that is definitely NOT the case with them. Talk about Fiesty and In Control. My Philippine Pinay Fiancee is a single Mother of a 4 year old boy - abandoned by the Father of the child before he was born - so she has learned to be quite independent. I don't get any sense of submissiveness from her at all. BUT she does "submit" to her own sense of responsibility in a Marriage / Family situation. It is very clear to her what she needs / wants to do. She always tells me in regards to cooking, cleaning, and other domestic responsibilities that I volunteer to take care of: "Don't you worry about that. I will take care of it." She has her own agenda - and I just laugh.

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mattinnorfolk
8/15/2019 17:02 EST

What about romance and sexually, is the man expeceted to always take the lead?

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Tsmslf
8/15/2019 17:55 EST

My experiences with several different ladies is that they are always ready and need little encouragement to move onward. They seem always eager and happy to please as well as be pleased. I am sold on Pinays; not so much on the PR.

I also agree with the earlier poster that they readily take on the historic "wifely" duties and get that done. Wouldn't let me do any of those chores. What could be better?

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darkfader24
8/15/2019 18:14 EST

Tsmslf - Right? I am anything but a Male Chauvinist. I can't stand sycophantic behavior or the expectation of someone groveling. Makes me sick to my stomach. On the other hand, a cheerful and helpful disposition - rather than a recalcitrant one - is so, so pleasant to be around. My Lady is "Strong" - I like that - but she is anything but difficult. She is truly a Breath of Fresh Air. I have noticed that about Filipino Pinays - not so much American ones - although I enjoy the American Ones. They all seem to have a great sense of humor and an ability to roll with the punches.

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phonedoctor1
8/15/2019 19:09 EST

i am not a very active person here.. i have been with 2 pinoys in 07 and with the winner since then, lived with her from 2010 to 2014 when i had a stroke and returned to the states, she has same birthday as me but 12 years my junior she is a very strong and very educated lady she does her job and wants to do all the home stuff too, i insisted to do the dishes ! i will return and buy a house there as soon as my house near ST Louis sells. BUT she is an Alpha as am I with the same birthday. so there
are control issues, but nothing serious as she is an awesome lady ! I'm now am on disability, and therefore make less then 25k so the state dept will not allow me to sponsor her to come here to the house i bought for her,,, so, therefore, i am selling the house and moving back there. IT SUCKS as she has degrees and mad skills and a resume that is unparalleled

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phonedoctor1
8/15/2019 19:12 EST

yes you are right on Pinoy women, ... always willing to please and to learn more how to please you more

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Earnestndeavor
8/15/2019 19:24 EST

I don’t view this attitude as “submissive” but rather an intense desire to serve their partner. Filipinas are raised to serve their husbands (partner). It is part of their culture. Contrary to a lot of what you read here Filipinas are mainly interested in a good husband who will provide for the family and treat them well. They will gladly subordinate to the man of the house and do all they can to bolster his position. They expect the man to be the head of the house and respond accordingly.
If treated poorly that submissiveness can instantly turn to a rage and furor the likes of which is well documented in numerous online accounts.
Respectfully Earnie

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darkfader24
8/15/2019 21:31 EST

Earnest - From what I have read from Pinays, this is one reason why many tend to lean toward older men from the West. 1 - We have learned some of life's hard lessons and know how to treat women with Respect and Kindness. This is something that everyone in the World wants, men and women. But it's also something that is a rarity - and when an Asian Woman can find it in a man they jump at the chance. My Fiancee is 26 years old. I am 65. We will hopefully marry in a year. We have had some very frank and open discussions about this huge age gap - and I have not shown myself any mercy in asking the hard questions. Why would someone so young want to marry someone who is 10 years older than her Father??? She will be a widow in 15 years (I have promised her a Life Insurance Policy - but she did not even know what it was). She said to me in a stern voice: "Look, answer me this. I have had a handsome young man. He lied to me, impregnated me, and immediately abandoned me to fend for myself. He has never seen his child, nor given one peso for him. I don't want his money. I want nothing to do with him. I have fed, raised, and loved this child. I would rather have a man that respects me, cares for me, shows kindness and love to me, no matter his age. That is not what matters." I told her it was impractical and unrealistic, but she is determined to marry me. Therefore I consider it my responsibility to have a decent Life Insurance Policy - AND to teach her Financial Responsibility. Not to give in to the relatives that might come begging. Not to even reveal that she got anything at all from me. I just want to make sure that she is well taken care of when I depart for Greener Pastures. I told her that not only is it hard for a woman with a child to find a spouse, but an older woman who is a widow - probably near impossible. The idea of her suffering and doing without when I am gone horrifies me. So I will do everything in my power to make sure that this Wonderful Human Being and her son are well taken care of. These Filipino Women are marvelous - especially when you find a great one - not a Gold Digger or scammer.

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phonedoctor1
8/15/2019 22:07 EST

dark; you are correct, i found a very educated pinoy 12 yrs younger than me. she is soo smart, and educated, i am lucky to have her. She has a son that is smart but refuses to finish any college courses before he starts skipping classes he also has anger issues ... of course when i sell my house and move back he will be living with us! i am opposed to this as it it my feeling that he either needs to get a job, or get in college if he wants to be in my house !
he is now 21 and i am actually opposed to him living with us unless he is is in school or has a job

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darkfader24
8/16/2019 00:56 EST

PhoneDoc - Yes, you are fortunate to find such a wonderful woman. There are still many great women in the USA, but too many of our female population have been infected with angst. There is such an "Anti-Male" Bias out there that the Femi-Nazis have drummed up. Sad. They hate babies so they are more than happy to kill them off, even after a failed abortion - they are cool with offing the baby!! And they hate men - especially White Men. They are a culture of hate and death - so the term "Femi-NAZI" truly applies, in my very humble opinion. But we are so lucky to have found a culture that has not been destroyed yet - YET! The bloody internet is starting to change that, but it may be a while. Anyway, her son may have anger issues due to a lack of a Father in the house (?) We all know what the lack of Dads has done to the prison population in the USA. Anger in young Fatherless boys / men is a real problem. Abandonment issues. Lack of guidance. "If my Dad didn't feel I was worth sticking around for, then WHAT am I worth???" All of this stuff. Maybe he just needs to learn to hang with you for awhile. Find a Male Figure that he can trust.

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Morgacj2004
8/16/2019 02:21 EST

Usually yes the same goes for dating . Filipinas for the most part expect the man to take the lead but they are willing to learn

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phonedoctor1
8/16/2019 03:14 EST

I have been there since 2007, but not always there. was there two months in 2007 then lived there from 4-2010-thru-9-2014 when i had to return due to,a stroke and he has always been a problem, love him but we have taken him to phsych doctors etc, to no avail now it seems he has heart probs, but still has anger issues. his mom is at wits end and has even stated she wants to live away from him when i return i am selling my house near St Louis and am returning as soon as it sells

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phonedoctor1
8/16/2019 03:24 EST

when i 1st got there in 2010 he lived with us and he was great for a short while, even doing gardening and church stuff with me but then out of nowhere he got violent to himself so he went back to his grandma's house and only stayed with us on occasional weekends ... i know he needs medical attention and meds, which we cannot afford. we are at our wits end. he is 21 now so there is not much we can legally do

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darkfader24
8/16/2019 04:11 EST

PhoneDoc - Wow! That is tragic - poor kid. Now he has heart problems and cannot afford meds? Some people just have a rough life. There's not much that you can do about it. Very, very sad. :-(

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draks
8/16/2019 05:48 EST

I don't think pinoys are submissive, I have lived here 9 years was visiting for 15 years wasarroed to one for 20 years had several Filipina gf in UK. None were submissive, they do have an idea of romance, some will fall in love easily, I think some girls will act submissive just to attract a man. My wife is extremely, loving, very affectionate loves to be romanced, flowers etc. But submissive? No, I think that some guys expect a Filipina girl to be submissive but have a rude awakening when they marry. A good one will love you till you die will care for you care about you, but that's not submissive, is it?

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Asawa
8/16/2019 09:54 EST

It is not Submissive, it is "Non-confrontational".

There is a difference. Ignore this fact at your own peril. There is a cultural bias of civility, polite acceptance, aversion to conflict, and avoiding direct (overt) conflict.

Should you mistake this for submission, you will reap passive-aggressive results such as sulking, tampos, and (potentially) someone melting down. There are terms that translate as Amok and Berserk to explain this.

The phrase that goes, "ever push a nice person too far." People are people, and most feelings are fairly universal. Behavior and reactions are what differ.

If folks suppress or internalize 1000 slights that you assumed were no big deal, do not be surprised if you experience an unexpected 6hour to 45 day Tampo for something as little as wearing your flip-flops into the house (as the straw that breaks the proverbial camels back).

Even most of the hostility is expressed in a non-confrontational way (such as ignoring you, not speaking to you, or continuing to care for your needs in silence).

Most westerners mistake this for "Childish Behavior" and say things like, "Don't put up with that Crap for such a little thing."

What most people are too dense to realize is... it's not the "most recent thing". It's the equivalent of the bullied child reaching a snapping point and grabbing an AK47.

It's just that stoic pacifism and forbearance is so ingrained into some personalities... that the weapon is simply passive-aggressive shunning that is so strong and sudden that it has the effect of a blunt-force weapon.

When someone switches from a "Sunshiny, kind, loving, caring disposition" to "Floating unresponsive ghost", people take notice.

So, sure. You my observe "submissive behavior", but you could be witnessing the slow suppression of anger that will reach a boiling point over weeks, months or years. A decade from now, you could get a 2 month silent treatment... and when you finally lambing (make up enough) you'll get the 10-year itemized litany of things you should have realized (but were too ignorant, callous, or unobservant to recognize).

You may also suddenly realize that you've unintentionally made the life of smoeone you love miserable (without any knowledge or indication) for years, and you've damaged/hurt them unknowingly.

Thus... don't assume it's submissive. Or at least talk about it every now and then... like "You really don't care? Are you Sure? Are you just being polite?"

My username "ASAWA" means spouse, and that's a husbands advice. I've been on Fil-AM forums for years with folks who have girlfriends, fiance's and wives from the Philippines. I've found this to be a universal truth that most folks have to learn on their own to accept.

Perhaps you can heed (or at least consider) the wisdom/warning.

-Asawa

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LovePhilly
8/16/2019 10:53 EST

My experience is limited but the way I'm seeing it, it's not really a question of being submissive or dominant, it's more about defined roles. I think they are taught a "traditional" role that they happily fulfill. Filipina's are happy to care for the home and take care of you "needs" and they expect you to fulfill your traditional male "role".

It's part of their socialization process the way it used to be in America. They take pride in their role and doing it well but it's not a subordinate role, just a different one.

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surfingcebu
8/16/2019 11:14 EST

Phone Doc - I think this 'son' of yours may need counselling and may benefit from it . Research out some clinical councillors that work with young people ... it sounds like he is begging. for direction and a meaning in this complex life . You can still help him !

I wish him Gods speed and good wishes . Lets hope for him to find a good councillor - they don't cost much in the RP an even a PHD student could try their luck with him . Plenty at the universities that do this type of work .

Best wishes !

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surfingcebu
8/16/2019 12:22 EST

Lovephilly - I think your right . its just a different role . more male and female roles . I think its healthier this way . Women feel like women . Men feel like men.
I see my buddies struggle in the west with western women. Its basically competing at home and work for space and respect and who is going to be the Alpha person in the house . Not healthy for a man if you ask me.
The 4th wave of feminism has taught young lassies to ASSERT themselves , much beyond what a Alpha male would do . The 1st and second wave of feminists were all about equality on many levels which is great ! The 3rd and forth ave of feminism is all about superiority and anger and hate and regret ...which they can have and I dont want any part of ! One can see why 70% of the relationships and Canada and USA end in divorce , separation , or simple walk-aways these days . Teh family unit has been crushed by the Liberal left . Teh change has hurt many women, families, children , men .....
80% of incarcerated people in N. America come from a single parent home - there is lots to learn here from this statistic , sadly .

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IDAHO1
8/16/2019 12:22 EST

Once here, it seems to depend on the person. For a while, my wife didn't even like me putting dishes into the dishwasher.
She has since mellowed out. Sometimes too much.
At one point, she was using a screwdriver trying to fix something that had broken.
I had to remind her that I do the screwing around here.

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Tsmslf
8/16/2019 14:52 EST

The US divorce rate is just under 50%, not 70%. I have no idea about Canada but doubt their rate is so high that, combined, that both countries rate would be 70%. I understand that the rate in the U,S, is declining which, for me, with divorce as a major part of my practice in L.A., is bad news.

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Tsmslf
8/16/2019 15:05 EST

To all you arm-chair shrinks claiming that it's not submissive behavior but different cultural gender roles, baloney. The cultural gender role described is submissive behavior; sublimation of self in other words. It may arise from culture or Catholicism or both but it appears and regularly otherwise you wouldn't be explicating your concept of the phenomenon.

It isn't negative to be submissive btw. It used to be deemed natural in women. The marriage vows and the Bible (somewhere) refer to female obedience to the husband which was the way it was for centuries. In primitive societies it was and, I think, remains that way.

I see no conflict between a submissive woman who has a strong will and determination to accomplish her goals. Actually, I consider that a great combination of qualities. And a submissive is not a slave by any means.

The eligibible Pinays I've met have always wanted marriage, said they would take good care of me forever and my tendency has been to believe in their sincerity. I just haven't succumbed - yet.

(See Asawa, you're not the only homily author here.)

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Asawa
8/16/2019 17:33 EST

From the perspective of "Traditional Roles", you totally have me.

Men are men, and women are pretty... and it's find to be a home maker. If that's what you mean, then "yeah".

I totally missed that direction of the conversation. My wife the equivalent of an idealized "June Cleaver" from leave it to beaver. I take that part of the equation for granted (anymore).

-Asawa

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darkfader24
8/16/2019 17:54 EST

Tsmslf - He wasn't just talking strictly Divorce rates. He included separations and "walk aways". That number still sounds high, but I wouldn't know.

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darkfader24
8/16/2019 17:59 EST

Tsmslf - I think at this point we are just talking "Semantics". I get what you are saying, and I get what some of the other Gentlemen are saying, and I humbly submit that we are pretty much on the same page. In the end, it's how we perceive our relationships born through experiencing those relationships. There are a lot of dynamics at play here, and we are "generalizing" - as all of us Males are unique, and so are our Pinay spouses. There are subtle and not so subtle differences from person to person, so what one person describes is in relation to his personal experience, and while there may be similarities, all of these relationships are unique.

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surfingcebu
8/16/2019 22:40 EST

TSM - you work the divorce courts for a dime? wow .... tough business . getting in the middle of these squabbles and trying to stir it up between couples to get "billable time" is bad karma ! HA!!!

the divorce rate is going down in the USA because Less people are getting married ...they are getting smarter IMHO .

also the 50% is roughly correct , add in the separations and walk aways ( rarely reported trajectory statistics ) ...and you get 70% of Unhappy campers . both countries roughly the same .

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phonedoctor1
8/16/2019 23:27 EST

asawa, i love most of your posts but this one does not apply, my wife has a degree in intl business, and she has ran hr with 3000 employees, she also does accounting and logistics, she is super smart

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phonedoctor1
8/17/2019 04:45 EST

yes his mom and i both think he needs counseling, but we cannot afford it we have at times had pills that helped but not lately. and since he is 21 now he refuses to accept help

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Tsmslf
8/17/2019 11:02 EST

What is a "walkaway"? People don't walkaway from a marriage in any legal sense as it is legally inescapable. I've never heard that term applied to marriage. A "legal separation" exists but is rare as it has few benefits but has drawbacks. I doubt if either number exists or is tracked.

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Asawa
8/17/2019 11:59 EST

Phonedoctor,

You are right. I should have qualified.

I was thinking of the Philippine equivlement of the "Southern Bells" from the USA. The humble providential girls with high-school educations that I've observed many westerner's tend to court.

It's more of a "Country Girl" vs "City Girl" dynamic. Traditionally, most of the folks I've encountered have gravitated toward the more domestic (traditional) ladies of the Philippines. Those who were mostly looking to be wives and mothers, and wanted men responsible for marriage.

Everybody is different. I get that. My only point as submissive is not dismissive.

-Asawa

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Tsmslf
8/17/2019 12:48 EST

First, fyi, it's "belles". Your bells ring or otherwise sound.
Next, I don't follow the sound bite of submissive not meaning dismissive. To what are you applying that? And so what? I could say that neither is permissive and be as opaque as your post is to me. Are you often inscrutable or just when being virtuous here?

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Tsmslf
8/17/2019 13:01 EST

Surf - My practice is mostly divorce these days but used to be mostly business litigation and corporate transactional work. With my ex, I do a little immigration but limited to Chinese as she is from there and has been an immigration paralegal and translator for a couple of decades. I met her in that court via a friend who is an immigration lawyer waaay back. We have a great 14 year old son too.

I almost am never personally involved in client emotions and almost never see them together except in court where emotion is under control by the sheriff's deputy in each courtroom if not by the lawyers. Not many let their hatefulness out in court if there is any to let out. Sometimes, treatment of children gets to me but I can deal with it.
It's not a bad living even though I do take some cases for low rates to help some folks who need a lawyer. $150/hour is my lowest rate. My regular divorce rate is between $300 and $495 an hour which, for my experience level, is moderate in most of the L.A. area.
In my practice, I do see some unusual situations as does anyone working day to day and up close to people.

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Asawa
8/17/2019 13:18 EST

RE: Sound bite SUbmissive VS Dismissive.

Submissive means ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive.

Dismissive means feeling or showing that something is unworthy of consideration.

What I mean was: From the perspective of the more dominant person, it can be difficult to tell whether someone is being "passive" or simply not remarking because the present issue is "unworthy of showing consideration".

Passive folks tend to let even borderlines thing go for expediency or the sake of peace. If those ever bud into annoyances or resentments, those are the types things that build up over time and come out when you least expect.

Thus, Dismissive; Is this worth arguing about? I disagree, but do I care to argue? Hmm... Let's just do it his/her way... I'll dismiss this and let it go.

Versus: Submissive: I prefer to let you decide. I don't care.

From the dominant perspective, the result is the same. From the non-dominate perspective, there could be more going on.

-ASAWA

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surfingcebu
8/17/2019 13:25 EST

TSM - in the latino community hordes of mother and father simply 'walk away ' many dont have the legal resources to file for separation or otherwise for their common law relationship. so , 'walk aways' are a very real thing ! Surprised your not in tune with the sociology of Latino's , as just one sub group.

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Tsmslf
8/17/2019 14:38 EST

First, in California, where I practice, commonlaw marriage is not recognized. That's true in other states but I don't know which offhand.

What you describe is also prevalent in the Phils. Often the father is a Kano who wants the benefits of the mother but not the responsibilities of Dad. (I despise males like that.)

There are tens of thousands of such in the Phils.

As for Latinos as a sub-group, I don't live in a Latino community and have never heard of what you describe in terms of it being widespread. I don't disagree with you, I just don't know. It wouldn't surprise me though. I do believe it's true of the black community and is a major reason for so many young blacks being in legal trouble - no Dad around to help them grow up.

Those cases would not be included in divorce statistics either as that is not divorce per se. Whether they should be is a different issue.

I'd bet it's Dad who walks away far more than Mom in each category.

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Tsmslf
8/17/2019 14:39 EST

First, in California, where I practice, commonlaw marriage is not recognized. That's true in other states but I don't know which offhand.

What you describe is also prevalent in the Phils. Often the father is a Kano who wants the benefits of the mother but not the responsibilities of Dad. (I despise males like that.)

There are tens of thousands of such in the Phils.

As for Latinos as a sub-group, I don't live in a Latino community and have never heard of what you describe in terms of it being widespread. I don't disagree with you, I just don't know. It wouldn't surprise me though. I do believe it's true of the black community and is a major reason for so many young blacks being in legal trouble - no Dad around to help them grow up.

Those cases would not be included in divorce statistics either as that is not divorce per se. Whether they should be is a different issue.

I'd bet it's Dad who walks away far more than Mom in each category.

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mootpoint20
8/17/2019 23:57 EST

Specious conclusion: Historically, the traditional family is non-existent in the poor, and 80 percent of incarcerated are from single-parent families. Alcoholics, drug-addicts, gays, and the majority of over-eaters all come from this social milieu. Unless adherence to a faith is involved, these characteristics are predictable

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hillsideboy
8/18/2019 13:54 EST

my situation may not be similar at present, but may be yours in future?
married 20 years to a Filipina 36 years my junior live in UK and Winter in Bonifacio Global Village, where our daughter lives. My previous marriage to an English girl broke down, due partly to her dislike of my overseas work in several countries. I saw Filipinas as accepting my decisions, which she does, The downside is that they are very gregarious, partying, phoning, etc with their types, and needs to work as a carer, whereas I prefer her at home. My previous marriage had more socialising with my types, but I accept that I am dependant at my age. I also spoil her, and I'm happy with my lot.

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darkfader24
8/18/2019 15:07 EST

In regards to the terms "Submissive Vs Permissive" - my mind keeps telling me "Cooperative". I had a conversation last night for 1 & 1/2 hours with my Pinay that was very interesting. She is VERY easy going, and has a real joy of life - or at least the Filipino Pathos of just laughing at life and it's difficulties. She hates to accept any kind of financial help from me because she views herself as self-sufficient and very independent. She does not want to give up her autonomy or become dependent on me at all. She views it as "vulnerability / weakness". She was 22 years old when she bore her son, having being abandoned by the Father and she has made ends meet on her own. She is quite strong at the young age of 26. Her self-description is "I have A LOT of Pride." And she's not in a hurry to give it up. All that to say, she is very cooperative with me, but is neither Submissive nor Permissive. She knows what she wants and works with me on things as she sees fit, which is almost everything, given her easy going nature.

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draks
8/18/2019 21:52 EST

You guys really do like to put people in boxes, Filipina, therefore submissive, Filipino, fathers many many children doesn't work smokes and drinks in excess.
Nice tidy little boxes.
We are all individuals not all the same.
We all have boxes, Scottish, very tight with money, Irish, very stupid, Americans big fat and very loud. There you you are some nice tidy boxes, which box do you belong in?

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surfingcebu
8/18/2019 22:26 EST

Draks , Boxes are the way people and the liberal left Control. You can’t really blame them that’s how they were taught. Diversity, so long as it is my diversity. Truth, so long as it’s my truth. The truth doesn’t matter, my truth matters. Do you see my point?
This is how the liberal left controls the narrative. Diversity, yes, so long as it’s my diversity.

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darkfader24
8/18/2019 23:08 EST

Drake - "You guys really do like to put people in boxes," There - You just put a bunch of people in your box! A box of Your Judgement. But that's ok. I understand your point - and to a degree you are correct. :-)

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mootpoint20
8/18/2019 23:18 EST

Darkfader---You just put Drake into your box, now! (I'm glad I'm not part of this whole thing.)

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LarryKar
8/18/2019 23:33 EST

Surf: But your Orange Hued hero says over and over, all Mexicans are rapists, thieves, only come here for the great welfare benefits. So much for your liberal box theory.

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Robertdav298
8/18/2019 23:58 EST

OK LARRY, tell me what other country in the world will allow an invasion of their country by hundreds of thousands? Tell me what other country will provide FREE HEALTH CARE, FREE FOOD and all of the benefits afforded to the people of that country all for ZERO COST to to these people and oh by the way guess who is expected to PAY FOR THIS? Answer the people that are paying taxes.
Oh and what about the people who follow the immigration laws and are paying fees to gain and entry and have been paying taxes and have"green cards"........should they stop and just come in illegally and pay NOTHING?
I paid several thousand dollars to bring my FILIPINO wife to the US, boy how dumb I was, I should have just flew her to MEXICO and let her walk across.
Oh one last thing, are you aware that their are 127.000 homeless people living on the streets of LA? While the governor of CA is more worried about his SANCTUAURY CITY.
The best thing that could happen to the US is that CA cecede from the UNION and become their own Country and elelect Maxine Watters as their president with Pelosi as VP.
Their government currency be the Mexican Peso.........what a hoot.

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TeeJay4103
8/19/2019 00:11 EST

Larry Larry Larry

If you're going to disparage a man whom you obviously don't like. At least quote what he said vs what you heard.

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LarryKar
8/19/2019 00:20 EST

Nice rhetoric and stuff but that was not what the subject of my post was. You scared or what? Sure triggered. I was reacting to the usual nonsense about what "liberals" do, or believe, or cause.Endless source of amusement to me how you and your troops attack and try to run off anyone who dares to not tow the line to the right yet claim to be the Rightous Right Bed Rock of Democracy.

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surfingcebu
8/19/2019 00:21 EST

Larry- rise above people’s colour of their skin - demonization of people base on skin colour has never really been credible. :) ...

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Morgacj2004
8/19/2019 00:25 EST

Robert is exactly right the middle class is shouldering most of the burden and the liberals are ruining America with their crazy policies

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surfingcebu
8/19/2019 00:33 EST

Morgac- The way I figure it, many of the ex-pats that I meet in the Philippines are in part there, from a liberal craziness that happened in Europe, which is imploding, and North America. The strategic political correctness of the left , The diversity dilution, and rank feminism .... pushes many off shore .
The socialist experiment in Sweden and Denmark is all but in the history books now. They are one of the more free capitalist countries in the world now. Yet, United States, Europe, and some others want to destroy their economy and their sociology, to pursue such ideologies that I’ve failed many times over. Venezuela being the most recent absolute disaster.
The Philippines, my home, is a breath of fresh air , in my opinion.

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Robertdav298
8/19/2019 00:58 EST

Larry, my troops, are we back in the military? It was not rhetoric but factual, we are AMERICANS.......bottom line. We despise groups like MS-13 and freeloaders.
Have you ever wondered where your taxes go? Are you aware that the average cost of ONE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT costs the US GOVERNMENT 70,000 dollars. How many hard working Americans make 70K a year.
Have you ever been to and INDIAN RESERVATION? I have and have several aunts, uncles and cousins living on them as we speak.
Wonder why I get fired up about illegal immigrants?

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tlallen59
8/19/2019 05:07 EST

Your full of crap Larry. He never said any such thing so stuff your narrative where the sun doesn't shine.

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LarryKar
8/19/2019 05:49 EST

tlallen59 not exactly sure what you are talking about but on the chance you mean Trump and his comments they are all on Video tape the multiple times he repeated them. What planet are you from?

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mootpoint20
8/19/2019 11:24 EST

Expletives about the color of Trump remind me that liberals are blind to their motives and desperate means to achieve power. Hypocrites. Trump uses the NYC vernacular to excoriate his opponents who now want him to stop using the internet. He's very funny, because he speaks the language of the common man, and has no pretenses. ( I've dealt with Fort Peck reservation and know the leaders are rich and corrupt as hell. Shiftless alcoholism is rampant, assimilation is non-existent. I assume a radical change is coming, uninvited.)

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darkfader24
8/19/2019 13:05 EST

Moot - Yes, I did - but that's ok - cuz I wasn't criticizing anyone for doing it. I was just "Observing the criticism" by Draks. So - you're point?

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darkfader24
8/19/2019 13:12 EST

Moot - "Darkfader---You just put Drake into your box, now! (I'm glad I'm not part of this whole thing.)" Sorry, Bro - You just made yourself part of it. But that;s cool - jump into the fray. The more, the merrier. BTW - I totally agree with your position on Trump and MAGA!! I'm hardcore, without apologies.

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tlallen59
8/20/2019 05:38 EST

He never said ALL. He said some of the people breaking our laws sneaking into our country are criminals and rapists and is is right. And we are all getting sick and tired of these orange man crap comments. How would you like it if we called Obama a terrorist enabler who drops pallets of cash in the middle of the night in a country that has killed Americans and funds terrorists around the world among many other things I can think of. You want to win elections don't run criminals as your nominees. This is a expat help board so keep your lefty BS to yourself.

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darkfader24
8/20/2019 17:05 EST

I have just had a wonderful meal at a Vietnamese Restaurant here in Central California. The place was packed with Asians, though I saw no obvious Filipinos. I was the only non-Asian in the entire relatively large restaurant. My guess was that it was mostly Vietnamese / Cambodians / Laotians.
I was paying very close attention to all the people but especially the females, due to this current thread. There were long tables, two at a time pushed together in several places in order to accommodate a number of College Age Youth. Everyone, and I mean everyone, looked so happy and were having a great time. There was lots of jocularity and laughter. The Females in no way were intimidated or quiet - but were as active in the conversations and jokes as any of the males. I also noticed that ALL of the women, young and older, were very feminine - and comfortable in their own skins and women-ness. They have no problem identifying with their Femininity - and that's one of the great things that I love so much about Asian women!!! Even the ladies who appeared to be in their 50s wore very long, beautiful, dark hair - and looked great. I am so attracted to Asian females, not only for their amazing physical beauty, but for the way that they carry themselves, their composure, and their fearless Femininity!

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Tsmslf
8/20/2019 17:39 EST

I concur with your opinion and particularly like your alliterative phrase: fearless femininity.

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catabisis
8/20/2019 18:32 EST

I met and dated one in the U.S. that had been in the U.S. 35 years after arriving at age 21. She was totally submissive. I dated another very similar. Then found one that was not only OCD, but a bit crazy. lol

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catabisis
8/20/2019 18:52 EST

Maybe the kid just needs to grow up. The military is a great place to learn self awareness and responsibility

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Robertdav298
8/20/2019 18:59 EST

T-59........thanks for having my back .

DId you see what these two muslim congress women tried to pull off? in my mind they committed treason and should be impeached for using their status to undermine the government and subscribing to a known terrorist org.

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surfingcebu
8/21/2019 01:08 EST

Cat- I had to laugh at your comment. I should get a kick out of these bulletin boards. In the process we do provide good information for the perspective expert as well.... in a strange sort of way. :-)

Remember the old saying though, “ crazy in the head, crazy in the bed.” ;)

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darkfader24
8/21/2019 01:45 EST

Tsmslf - They have "Femininity". I'm just "A Nini" - :-)

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darkfader24
8/21/2019 01:47 EST

Tsmslf - They have "Femininity". I'm just "A Nini" - :-)

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tlallen59
8/21/2019 05:29 EST

Your welcome Robert. Myself and millions of smelly walmart deplorable's have had enough of this selective outrage. They have tried everything to get rid of him but nothing has worked so all that's left is to call him and all of us racists. Now we have people wishing the economy will crash and people loose there jobs and savings just to win an election. How sick is that. As for the 2 congress woman just listen to there words and see who they support. Never forget is all I have to say.

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mattinnorfolk
8/21/2019 06:24 EST

How do we get from Submissive Pinays to these post about politics. There is a reason there is so few that post on here, and follow this forum, and it is every post becomes political. Someone post a political thread, and keep them all there so you 4 or 5 people can go back and forth on the one thread. Those of us that want to can ignore that thread. I am anxious for my first trip there on Oct 29, and want to hear about Pinays more then USA politics please. Please exercise some common courtesy to others. Thank you.

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draks
8/21/2019 10:39 EST

Seems in America you really have different human beings, there are male human beings, they are the ones that have dangly bits, female human beings, they don't have dangly bits, but do have Mamory glands, that fill with milk to feed baby human beings . Then you have liberal human beings and Democrat human beings who are both of a totally different species to anything else. They hate each other with a passion and blame each other for anything that is wrong in the world.
Not sure if these two species are really actually human, they look human but their actions and hatred for each other is almost alien like. Maybe they come from far distant planets and happened to crash land on a part of earth called America. Then they rant and rave at each other, none making any real sense, just make a lot of wierd noises and snarl at each other, not making any difference to the country they live in. Just snarling and and blaming very strange species of animal, no research has ever been done on this species, maybe they will snarl at each other untill one or both die. Wonder what other species would then take their place?

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Goslig
8/21/2019 12:10 EST

Robertdav298 Sorry for answering the question you put to Larry, but it is CANADA, which even gives refugee status to known terrorists kicked out of UK and baby powder Justin wants 3 million more. There is a steady stream of illegal immigrants now. No wall, just free everything. There are worse countries than the US who let anyone in.

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tlallen59
8/21/2019 15:36 EST

I apologize. I was responding to somebody else and will refrain in the future.

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darkfader24
8/21/2019 20:51 EST

Mattin - I post a lot of political opinions on here - but I completely agree with you. We really should have a separate thread or threads that start with the heading "Political" and then hyphenate it with the theme of that thread. Like this: "Political - Hillary's emails" or "Political - Stormy Daniels" - titles like that. Then people can jump on it if they want to discuss or rant or whatever. If we are talking about Pinays or purchasing cars or great places to live in the RP - we need to keep on the subject. A small Rabbit trail here and there isn't going to be a problem but we need to keep heated discussions on another thread, in my humble opinion.

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surfingcebu
8/22/2019 00:08 EST

Martin- it’s unusual for a North American ( where you from?) to have 10-14 HOT sales ladies with smiles willing to help you pick out shoe laces . It’s fun!! And SO different... I think they enjoy the attention, just as much as you. I personally never get tired of the sales ladies .... never any Hillary Clinton scowls on then, polite , and somewhat helpful. They are hired for there politeness and looks . But most Filipina are cute I find ... there personally makes them so . Basically 100% opposite shopping experience in big department stores than in Canada.... where you get “attitude “ , little help, and some rank overweight 4 th wave Feminist with blue hair and comfortable shoes , if you do find a clerk.

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LarryKar
8/22/2019 07:08 EST

great idea dark. Separate the politics so my ulcer does not flair up while looking for useful tips on life in The Islands. I already have my well formed and thought out take on the current US Administration and it is not that he is The Chosen One.

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Asawa
8/22/2019 10:23 EST

RE: Putting people in boxes.

There is a Social Science called Anthropology. Antropology is the scientific study of humans, human behavior, culture, and societies in the past and present.

When a rand person puts people in boxes, it is called generalization or stereo-typing. The results of categorization could be subject to a spectrum of: bias, bigotry, prejudice, and or racism. (All different things).

When a Sociologist applies the scientific method to study groups of people over long periods to identify trends of behavior (IE: Norms, values and Beliefs)... that's not quite "putting people in boxes".

People are individuals, an some do break the mold. And, societies change over time. The generalities and observations that I had been sharing came straight from Anthropological studies on the culture of the Philippines (Like: CultureShock! Philippines)

Yes, everyone is a unique and special person, but groups fall into patterns. Patterns form trends.

Sometimes you need to look at a Forest because there are too many trees to examine individually.

Sometimes you need to look at the most common example of a Leaf on a tree, because there are too many individual leaves to inspect each.

It's very difficult to navigate life without some categorization and generalization so you can think in terms of "Trees" and "Forests" rather than Leaves.

I'll leave it to you whether you want to rely on your own experience, the wisdom of those who have invested years studying the detailed traits of individuals, or take each person one-by-one... never knowing what to expect.

Not all inspections, categorizations, or judgments are bad. It's impossible to navigate life without some framework to evaluate people, situations, and events.

-Asawa

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Earnestndeavor
8/22/2019 12:04 EST

Larry you said;
“I already have my well formed and thought out take on the current US Administration and it is not that he is The Chosen One.”
I disagree.

He was chosen by the American people to be our President. If you disagree with his policies you should identify the policies and state your position. To jump at every opportunity to attack him personally suggest your policy positions are unable to withstand forum scrutiny.

Respectfully, Earnie

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Earnestndeavor
8/22/2019 12:46 EST

Larry, my apologies, I misread your post and commented to quickly.
After reading your comment again I realized you were saying that the “chosen one” was not your choice.

Respectfully,Earnie

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darkfader24
8/22/2019 12:46 EST

Surf - Very Funny post !! Can't wait to go shopping in Canada !

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mootpoint20
9/8/2019 12:26 EST

Surf-- You made a shocking statement I fear. Less people getting divorces because less people are getting married. The explosive change in America, and American women is based on 'feminist-madness' and promotion of alternative life-styles. Took only a short ten years to achieve, but it's an ungodly mess. Pre-emptive dissolution of the family structure for radical purposes.

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mootpoint20
9/8/2019 12:28 EST

--pre-emptive dissolution of the family structure for revolutionary purposes.

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surfingcebu
9/8/2019 12:36 EST

Moot- Your words ring true. The fourth wave of feminism is upon us. Basically it is all about hatred, taking away men’s basic rights of free speech, and anti-man legislation. The fourth wave of feminism has nothing to do with the quality. Nothing.

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mattinnorfolk
9/8/2019 12:59 EST

I just think the politicians have made it not a good investment any longer, it’s too much penalty if you get a divorce and a man. The downside, far exceeds the upside in my opinion.

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darkfader24
9/8/2019 17:13 EST

Regarding Marriage/Divorce - What you guys are saying is so true. And the numbers of "Splits" are far worse. Consider a Split between a Married Couple and also people just living together. The latter has no numbers to track it. And of course, a divorce is a long difficult procedure. Living together? One person just walks out - so I know that it happens so much more often than true divorce, because it's infinitly easier.

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surfingcebu
9/8/2019 17:20 EST

Dark , you hit the nail right on the head. People will have you believe that the divorce rate is 50%, or there about‘s. If you include the walkaways , And the girlfriends and boyfriends that just took off, the number is more like 85%. You’re very correct in your assessment and digging deeper.

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mattinnorfolk
9/8/2019 17:27 EST

I get there in 7 weeks for my first 22 day trip, and this thread is making me thing I should stay in my hotel to be safe. There must be some decent women to date?

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darkfader24
9/8/2019 17:44 EST

Mattin - Yes, there are many wonderful women to date but how do you "vette" someone by walking into a restaurant, mall, or bar and assess that? It takes awhile to get to know someone. If you're looking for one night stands, be very, very careful. Like others have said, keep your wallet hidden. Hide it when she uses the restroom - or being very wiley, she will probably see where you put out of the corner of her eye. Use a condom - you have NO IDEA who she might have been with earlier in the day. These people are extremely poor, even if they dress nicely and are very pretty. They are desperate for cash - especially easy cash. Like people have said - you might return from the restroom to an empty room. I don't even want to think what might have been dripping from her mouth hours before I would kiss her.....

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Morgacj2004
9/8/2019 18:44 EST

Matterinfolk dont get freaked out by some of the posts you see here. Yes there are issues with certain women that you might meet in Bars KTV, and certain locations such as Angeles City night clubs. The vast majority of women do not have STDs and no they are not all looking to rip you off. Go to churches, malls, shops and other areas and you can meet lots of decent women a lot who are still virgins. Use common sense. I have been married to a great Filipina for 14 years whom I met online and know a lot of other sucessful relationships.

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mattinnorfolk
9/8/2019 18:46 EST

Thanks Morgac, I have zero intention of pursuing bar girls.

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Goslig
9/8/2019 20:46 EST

darkfader24 I vetted my wife as follows: never dated until she was 33; has one adopted child (an abandoned niece); parents passed away; married her first boyfriend and separated 3 years later; didn’t date for 7 years after that. I was next. I suggest you set up two additional Facebook accounts. I have my personal account, another that has my wife’s family and the “groups” I belong to, and a third for business contacts, realtors, car dealers, etc. That way mysterious friends requests are quarantined. My wife is a friend on the first two (except for my business account). Also, as my wife commented: all Pinays have two sides; the submissive one is all you get before you’re married.

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surfingcebu
9/8/2019 20:49 EST

Mattin- for sure there is some great women to date ! Just be careful and cautious . Remember the family is watching as well .
The majority are harmless , 30-40% in my estimation in the Big Cities are ruthless( less in the provinces) . Still a much odds than any North American or Euro city !!! HA!!! :) .... so just be cautious and DONT take advantage of anyone ! It will bit you back !
Your going into a 3rd world country - wonderful country , but it is ruthless to the ignorant ! ( not to say you are ... Just be careful mate ! )

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surfingcebu
9/8/2019 20:55 EST

Goslig- your wide is correct , the submissive one is the one you see before you are an 'item' , after that , you decide if you like the REAL Filipina , for a longer term .
Most are sweet as candy and compassionate .....BUT like I stated . others are ruthless!
Never hesitate to say ' this is the way its going to be ' . Treating a Filipina like a North American or Euro girl is confusing to her , and frustrating IMHO . Most problems come from treating her with either disrespect , or pandering to her , like a western women ! SO confusing and demeaning to most Filipina .

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darkfader24
9/8/2019 21:07 EST

Mattin - Definitely great wisdom from Morgac, Goslig, and SurfingCebu - who has obviously been surfing off the coast of Cebu! :-) No really, these Gentlemen have all "Been There, Done That!" I heed their wonderful advice. I just finished a marriage of almost 45 years, which was incredible in so many ways, and yet was deeply troubled in others. We raised two incredible, sweet, wonderful kids who are off and married to awesome spouses. Now, I want my Sunset to be looking at the Beautiful Ones from the Beaches of The RP. Like you, I want to find an amazing person - and there are many in the Philippines. Very sweet, kind, and generous Ladies. These men are just offering cautions - which I guess really applies to any Nation and Culture. People are still People. Some want to share Love and Commitment. Others want to take advantage. What you do comes back to you in some form or another.

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surfingcebu
9/8/2019 21:38 EST

Dark , thanks so much for your kinds words . So appreciated .
bottom line is just be cautious . Dont let your heart lead you . let your sensibilities lead you .

Incredible women, country, geography, and some incredible friends( pinky and expat) I have made in the Baragays in the RP . You will do the same . Just ease into it , low profile , down tell anyone what you make other than " a very small - just survivable , pension :) "

My GF is Pinay . sweet women, a real looking , fiery temper ( Like most) , compassionate and focussed on me for the most part . I have tested her many times ... something that you may consider .

Relax and have fun... some great people you will meet I'm sure !

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Goslig
9/14/2019 23:32 EST

Why do North American & European men head for the Pinay treasures? The Greeks have a saying “Love helps the time pass, & in time, Love passes”.

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Robertdav298
9/15/2019 03:14 EST

GOS.....oh my gosh....anybody but the greeks.....never drop the soap in a greek shower.....LOL

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