The United States Forum

cicuta89
Joined 2018
Posts: 1

5 years ago

problem

5 years ago

Good morning,My name’s Trish and I’m an expat [sound nearly like an AA confession, but might be even worse]. I’m writing, because I literally feel like my life’s completely out my control. None of methods I recently tried seems to give me even a sparkle of hope to change the way I feel so as I run out of options, I’m looking for help here. I’m former academic [psychology], thus I really tried to do whatever’s possible to reduce unpleasant experiences of culture shock etc. Although my knowledge seems to be useless, as well as all the previous attempts to make myself feel better. And still, here I am. Drowning in feelings of lost and solitude.

Not even a half year before I moved from Europe. I came to US due to scientific purposes, however in the meantime I meet my current husband. The decision was made after few months we know each other, but I didn’t have doubts; I wasn’t satisfied with many aspects of my previous life, thus it occurred as a great big-change opportunity

Shortly I start to feel homesick. Not a surprise, I was pretty sure we could deal with it. Unfortunately it was an illusions an from this point I’m feeling worse everyday. Like falling deeper and deeper, without seeing the button, thus without hope for recovery.

Don’t get me wrong; my husband’s is a really good person. I have no reasons to blame him or his family [nobody was impolite for me; quite the opposite] for what’s happening with me. But somehow I can’t be good for him. I’m becoming more and more bitter, depressed, feeling isolated. While he enjoys most of home-activities, I’m getting more and more mean, frustrated, nervous, feeling I can’t stand it anymore. What’s wrong with me? What can I do to step out of the circle?

Just for the record, multiple times I was trying to make any social connections, which remains difficult just due to my status [I cannot work or even volunteer in US during at least year after I moved ]. I can’t get rid of ridiculous feelings of loneliness. Unfortunately, the worse it gets, the more health problems I’m experiencing, such as sleeping, eating disorders and basically most of psychosomatics.And there is literally nobody I can speak with. Yes, with my husband we had numerous conversations about those things, however none of them seem to be conclusive . He’s feeling good with staying in home, cooking, occasionally walking through neighborhood, monitoring trash services and playing video games. I’m feeling like I’m chocking. In my previous life, my lifestyle was highly social-saturated [sometimes I had 3 different jobs at the same time and was doing my phd simultaneously ] and to say I feel alone is just a tip of an iceberg. I just miss everything I used to have so much… I doubt there is a proper way to express it ?? The problem in this case is not a particular element of life I could try to modify. Obviously, I do miss my work [even imperfect], colleagues, friends, language I was able to fully express myself… But that’s not the key.In this case it is the entire picture that feels wrong, inappropriate and solitude. I can’t stop thinking about it, one thing leads to another, I became more and more bitter, isolated, sad… What’s wrong with myself? How to start living again? What am I doing wrong? I’m mentally exhausted, overwhelmed and feel like I can’t take it anymore.

Please don’t tell me I should revise decisions I’ve already made, simply because I do not regret. It’s extremely hard and feels bad by all the means, but I’m not going to wrote that I don’t love him or it was a mistake. I just don’t know how not to waste this sacrifice.
I’ll be thankful for any advice.

William Russell

Get a quote for international health insurance from our partner, William Russell.
Get Quote

William Russell

Get a quote for international health insurance from our partner, William Russell.
Get Quote

Living in United States Guide

Expats in the United States live in the most sought after destination country in the world. Here are some tips and resources for finding out what you need to get there, and how to succeed once you're in the U.

United States Forum
Join our United States forum to meet other expats and talk about living in United States.

Contribute
Help other expats and newcomers by answering questions about the challenges and adventures of living in United States.

Best Places to Live in United States

Where are the best places to ski in the United States? We cover the best places to go skiing in the United States and highlight some family-friendly spots, places to eat and more.

Healthcare in United States

Expats in the United States have to navigate one of the most expensive health systems in the world. However, when properly navigated, the quality of care is excellent when compared to the rest of the world.

Cost of Living in United States

Expats offer insight into the cost of living in United States.

Moving to United States Guide

Expats who want to move to the USA should do a lot of homework and carefully organize their efforts as they move through the immigration process. This article and the other resources linked will help you develop an understanding of how to accomplish this.

Real Estate in United States

Real estate listings in popular cities and towns in United States.

Pros & Cons of Living in United States

Take off your rose-colored glasses and learn what expats have to say about the biggest challenges and the greatest rewards of living in United States.

Retiring in United States

Advice for people retiring in United States.

10 Tips for Living in United States

If you've recently arrived in the United States, here are 10 tips for digital nomads living in the United States.

Additional Information:

Visit our United States Index for a Full List

William Russell

Get a quote for international health insurance from our partner, William Russell.
Get Quote

William Russell

Get a quote for international health insurance from our partner, William Russell.
Get Quote

Contribute
Help others in United States by answering questions about the challenges and adventures of living in United States.