Expat Advice: Relationships in Bergamo, Italy

What is the name of the city or town that you are reporting on?

Bergamo

What is your current status? Are you single, dating, in a long-term relationship, married or divorced?

I am engaged to an Italian man and living with him and my three young children from my previous marriage.

What is it like in your country of residence for someone with your relationship status (married/divorced/dating)? If you're single, how do you meet other people? Do English-speaking people tend to gravitate to certain parts of your city?

I do have to rely extensively on my fiance when it comes to meeting people. At present, as I am still new and not knowing the language fluently, I am still quite limited to spending most of my time with his immediate family and friends.

If you have children, what advice would you give to others making a similar transition to your country of residence?

The children need to know that they can talk to you about anything. Children will be excited by the new culture, but also confused at times, and there may be a lot of times where you will hear that they want to go back home. Perseverence and patience are the keys, and I am still learning that. Spending as much time with them before they have to be integrated in the education system or community or before you have to go to work will help immensely as they will feel more confidence that you are adapting with them and sharing the same emotions. Also, if the children are from a previous relationship, make sure that contact with the other parent between the children and them and even between yourselves is consistent. This will alleviate any concerns and communication will help in making important decisions concerning the well being of your children.

If you are married or in a relationship with a person of another nationality, how has this experience enriched you as a person. What kind of challenges do you face?

I am enriched as a person in terms of learning to be a more understanding and accepting individual. I struggle a lot, now, with the language barrier and with how different some cultural expectations are, but, the hard work and effort and sacrifice and compromising that had to be given to be together as a couple and as a family has taught me that differences are rewarding as you learn to create a new awareness of being present in the moment and enjoying what you create in your life.

What would be the best advice you could give someone with your relationship status that lives in your country of residence? Any other thoughts?

Really think about your decision. Know that life is what you make it. You can choose to feel that everything is hard and too much, or you can accept what you have in front of you, and work at why you are there in the first place. Know that there is no shame in crying and know that there will always be moments to make you laugh. Finally, this is a great experience for you and everyone around you. This opportunity was presented to you because you made it happen, so make sure you research a lot about the area, spend a lot of time with your children, find contacts and useful resources such as this website, and last, but not least, be present in the moment.