Philippines Forum

BaguioGirl
Joined 2013
Posts: 10

10 years ago

Westernized Ilocana

10 years ago

I am 56 year old Filipina/American living in the US. I plan to go back home to the Philippines, retire early and live there permanently. Home is a lovely house in Baguio City and a small beachfront property close to my parents place. I ran a classified ad for a vacation rental house in this site and besides that, I truly enjoyed reading the interesting and informative posts in this forum. I never thought of contributing my opinion here as I know my writing skills is not up to par. Until I read "Rankin Johnson's" reply to "piecesgirl" who is looking for an expat boyfriend. I was equally dumbfounded with the lady's reply.

I was born and raised in a small poor farming village in the northern part of the Philippines. But it's here that I spent the happiest and most memorable years of my formative life. My parents raised five kids, My father is a farmer and raised farm animals as well. Of course, the whole family helps. He is also a self taught veterinarian and the village chief for 30 years! He is a busy and a well respected man. My mom, besides keeping the house, taking care of the kids, she also tended the village small sari sari store. At the end of the day when my dad comes home from the farm, my dad would help out my mom whether it's cooking, cleaning the house, washing clothes, fetching water etc, and before dinner time, for a few minutes, they each have a small glass of wine and smiles on their faces at dinner time as we talked about how the day went. I never see them argue or get mad at each other and I remember those early morning hours hearing them talk while still lying down in bed, I guess to sort things out. On the other hand, my dad's older brother is the opposite, he criticized my dad for helping my mom around the house.. as not a manly thing to do. This uncle would come home to his wife and family expecting a hot dinner ready, a clean house and a quiet atmosphere otherwise he will be annoyed or angry at the wife and the kids. Just like Jglans fiancee, my uncle's wife would lower her eyes and zip her lip when he's annoyed...just like majority of the village women. My parents are now in their late 80's both getting senile especially my mom but I can still see in them how close they have become and still take good care of each other.

I have since lived in the US for the last 25 years and yes I have become modern in many ways but my values remained the same. I learned from my parents a long time ago that in any relationship...it's about honoring and respecting one another that matters. I have been divorced for the last 9 years and raised my son on my own, no I didn't get the house nor I did get an alimony or child support. I just do my best. I was not bitter either for that reason, I was glad my ex brought me to the states and avail all these wonderful wonderful opportunities that is non existent if I was back home. I appreciated and felt very lucky being westernized and if being westernized is a liability in seeking a partner to spend the rest of my life...so be it. Bottom line is....I am happy being me. I am not desperate. But I am sure there are men out there who like my dad, kind caring and who treats his partner as equals not as a lesser specie.

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Help others in Philippines by answering questions about the challenges and adventures of living in Philippines.